Son Wanting to Be W/daddy More than Me?

DH and I both work, and DD is still a daddy's girl. She is 15 months and will still run right by me and go to DH when we both pick her up at daycare. She has also cried when DH would hand her to me to hold. She is slowly becoming more of a mommy's girl. It was really difficult at first, but sometimes it was actually easier when she was being really needy or difficult.

Your time will come. It is probably made worse since he sees you more than dad, but it really happens to everyone. Your time will come. It can be frustrating, but ignore the folks who are even implying it is your fault. It isn't, kids just go back and forth between 'favorites'. And remember, even though it is frustrating at times, be happy that he has such a good relationship with his dad.

All kids do this. My daughter is all about her Poppa right now and not me. But she has been in phases where it was all about me. My 11 week old only wanted me for the first 10 weeks of his life and cried when my husband picked him up. He has settled and now is very sweet to him. But I know it hurt his feelings. You also have to realise that he is home with you all day and you are the disiplinarian because you make him behave and do chores or what not. Your husband is the fun crazy dad he gets to play with when he gets home from work.

It's totally normal and healthy for a child to go through phases of preferring one parent to another. I think I would feel GREAT that your son is so connected to his father, the non-stay-at-home parent! Lightening up is great and I highly recommend it because it makes your life so much easier but I am sure that your son is not thinking to himself, "You know, Mom is such a Micro-Mom and therefore I will diss her in order to illustrate my preference for the parenting style of my father, my very favorite person."

That said, I TOTALLY "get" feeling sad for not being the preferred parent! Choosing to be a stay at home parent is a complete commitment to your child -- and that child, your one and only, is the focus of your day to day life -- and to feel slighted by that child would make me feel unappreciated and like there must be something wrong with me. I think your feelings are normal and you are not "wrong" for feeling them.

Just know that your son is behaving normally. I think you must be doing a great job of mothering him that he can feel so free to express his feelings and preferences around you. Lighten up because it will make you happier. Know that one day you will be the preferred parent. I think I would feel the jolt of "ouch", acknowledge it, and "put it away". Try not to let your son see your reaction -- then we get into a whole other issue: when our kids realize that they have a kind of POWER over us! They will exploit the heck (or try to) out of that one for the rest of their childhoods!

He has figured out the power he has over you and is amusing himself with your reaction. If your husband tavels alot, it explains why he wants daddy when he is around. Get used to it and don't take it personally. I think, in big picture, you'd prefer a daddy's boy to a mamma's boy. You have him to yourself when dad is traveling or at work anyway, so don't make it a competition when dad is around. Enjoy the bond and enjoy the break.

Hi Vicky!

Dont stress too much over it, since this has nothing to do with you or your mothering style, but rather with the needs of your son. He needs to be with daddy as much as he does with you, he just gets him in small dosage so he has make the best out of the time he has with him. You said that dad travels, well, that's it,your son needs that extra time and dedication because he knows he'll be gone at one point.
My kids did and still do the same, since my husband also travels. You said he is very attached to you when he is not around, so see? "is not you". Like one of the other moms said, he feels free and confortable enough to express his feeling and do what his little heart desires, dont take it personally, he (your son) is not doing it tu hurt your feelings, he just needs time with his daddy.
The other day I was at the supermarket with my 4 yold twins and dad met us there to say good bye before his business trip and as soon as they heard dad was going to work they said- No, Mom YOU go to work! dad stays! bye MOM!!- yeah...they were insisting in me going instead if him. Now I've always felt so bad for them when my husband has to go, beacuse I though they would be used to it by now, but no, they never have gotten used to it and my oldest is 9 years old..So when dad is back and they climb all over him and want to just be with him I give them the space and use it for me ( I promisse you I can really use the brake!)

I understand how you feeling though, but beleive me, is very normal, I'll be worry if he didn't want to be with daddy, but only with you when he is around (dad), because THAT would show that he is becaming too dependant on you and that's not good. They are bonding during that time, rejoice in the fact that those moments are the foundation of their relashionship for years to came.

I hope this helps!

A.