Strangers Touching My 2 Month Old

Hi Mandi
I used this little trick in public. When I went out I would put a bottle of hand sanatizer on top of the carrier blanket to give people a hint. Most of the time I never had to say a word and for the persistant ones that reached out anyway I would grab their hand and hold out the sanatizer to them with my free hand. Most people do get the hint and will say their oohhs and aaahhs then move on without touching.On the slightly funny flip side I have to clasp My fingers together when I see a baby to keep them to myself and the sad part is that this was one of my pet peeves when my kids were small.And I'm with the others on the hair touching.... please video tape it for us!!!! Smiles B.

Sorry, I was trying to delete my response, but the system won't allow a delete - only an edit - I am new at this :)

How about something like, "She really doesn't like strangers touching her, but she loves to be talked to!" That way it's more like you're stating her preferences, but still inviting them to interact with her in some way.

Carry around a bottle of that alcohol based hand sanitizer, and if someone moves toward your daughter like they're going to touch her, stop them and request that they sanitize their hands first. This will either effectively shoo them away, or for the more determined onlooker at least you will know their hands are clean. My son has lung problems so he is very suseptible to respiratory illnesses and our pulmonologist suggested that we carry around hand sanitizer, he said it works great for preventing the spread of germs which mostly occurs via people's hands.

Hi Mandi,
I personally believe that most people know better than to touch a baby without permission. I am around many babies and children and would never think to touch a child without asking first. So, feel free to tell the touchers that they may admire your baby, but touching is off limits. I think the touchers are out of line, and you have every right to express your cautions. Besides, baby probably gets lots of touching from family members and accepted friends. Don't worry if the touchers are offended by your wishes. It is simply inappropriate to touch without permission.
Have fun with your little buttercup!
J. S

you are totally in the right. your daughter is way to young for just anyone touching her. A polite way I have seen is carrying around hand sanitizer and making people use that before hand. If it was me I still don't want everyone touching. With my kids I try to make it harder for them to get to the baby which means I tend to be holding my babies. Good luck, and I think you are right not to want people to be touching your 2 month old so much.

Maybe say something like 'i love my daughters hair! everyone wants to touch her but I don't like people touching her.'

That would be way funny if you starting playing with the adults hair!!!

Hi Mandi E,

It is very rude to intrude on someone's child (any age)with out permission. I had a set of preemie twins and my youngest has the bright red hair. I just ask them not to touch my child, I am teaching my child stranger danger.
And to all be very carefully with the hand sanitizers. They do have alcohol in it. It does take awhile for your skin to absorb the odor (especially when you drive) and if you continuously use it you can get enough of the alcohol in you system to show in your urine. A co-worker use it all the time and lost her job because of it. I would not use it then touch your child. I found that the baby wipes work great for wiping out my hands before I touched my son.
Good luck
G.

I always wore my son in a carrier very close to me. Not only is it a great way to give your baby the touch that she needs, but it also allows you to shield other people's touch before they get too close. It's easy for you to withdraw your body if someone tries to rub her head. As far as the germs go, I wouldn't worry about it all that much. Babies (especially breastfed babies) are very resilient. Enjoy this special time, it goes by fast. :)

I don't think you are out of line at all! I don't let strangers touch my baby, and in order for people I know to touch her, they must not be showing any symptoms of illness, and must wash their hands. The way I see it, we only want the best for our children. It's a normal parental thing that anyone with children of their own will understand. If they don't have children of their own, they will just have to deal with it, seeing as though they have no control over it. "Please don't" is perfectly fine!

I often got that with my son because he is a red head. Also the question where does he get the red hair from (my husband and I don't have red hair) - I just wanted to wear a sign..."red heads on both sides". It can be very irritating people coming up to you and your baby and they want to touch. I don't really have much advice on this one, but the hand santitizer advice was pretty good. People would think twice. Good luck.

My daughter was a NICU baby and I did not want anyone to touch her. Keep the germs away!!! I would just be polite and say I really prefer people to wash their hands before touching our baby. I notice alot more elderly people want to touch babies. Another idea is to keep hand sanatizer out at all times and as they reach for your baby hand that to them they will get the hint.
www.livegreeneasy.com

First of all.... if you start touching strangers hair... do us all a favor and get it on film! LOL I love it!

But I really like what Leah R. had to say.... I think it is very straight forward and very polite! Way to go Leah R.!

It's hard sometimes to set boundries with strangers...but like one of the other mom's said... they are strangers.... so you don't have to worry much about what they think of you... and truth be told they will probably forget in an hour anyway.

Good luck!

I would just say please stop touching her. I'm not comfortablw with it, since flu season is coming up.
Why DO strangers think they can touch you kid??? Also your belly when you're pregnant? My mom gto me a "belly off limits shirt" when i was pregnant. I wore it a lot!
Anyway, hope that helped.
K.

Hey there Mandi,

I certainly don't think you're being out of line at all! She's yours and you should trust your feelings. If you don't want somebody touching her, you have every right to say so. I can see where that might be an uncomfortable thing to say to people. Maybe you could just say, "Please don't touch her. Thank you." and leave it at that.

Good luck to you!

C. Smith

You are not alone. People did that kind of thing to me with my daughter too. She's soooo cute, beautiful, ect. I developed a look that said "I know and I don't want you to come near my kid." For the more dense ones simply say "I would appreciate if you not touch my child." If they get offended who cares this is your child. I learned not to stop in the grocery store and keep moving. I still hear the same thing today 5 years later or the big question is why don't you have her model. Beacuse I want her to be a kid. My husband and I always try to take people away so she won't hear the comments, we don't want her to become vain. We always say that was a very nice, thoughtful, smart , thing, ect. you did. We stay away from the appearance comments. Hope this helps.

I agree that people should know better than to touch a baby 1-without asking and 2-without washing their hands first. It's a given that you just dont't do that and if your having to deal with a lot of people who don't understand this...you don't have to be polite. I know...I hate being rude too. (My twins were NICU babies so I was very paranoid about germs...and I have the spectical of twins so everyone wants to see or hold or whatever.) But sometimes it's just a matter of fact. Besides I don't think it's "rude" to tell someone to not touch your child. However, I think it's extreemly rude to just walk up and touch a stragers baby.

Mandi,
While I'm not advocating being rude, if you don't want someone touching your baby, don't let them. People used to try with my kids all the time and I still get people coming up to my 7 month old trying to touch him (he smiles at everyone and has cute chubby cheeks). You can use your body language to give some people signals. For others, you will just have to tell them "no, thank you" or turn away from them. I make my kids as unaccessible as possible. Whether simply blocking people or putting them in the pack so they are harder to reach. Just remember, she's your baby, not theirs. Just know that there are many times you might "offend" someone by just doing what you think is right for your kids. They will get over it. Just go with your instinct.

Best of luck!

Hello, i know what you are saying. unlike you my boys have no hair but people are drawn to twins! It is very hard. My boys were two months early so I im paranoid. and like you I don't like to offend people so I bought a stroller that has a sun cover ( they sell these at Babies r Us they also make rain covers) and put this on when we are in public and no one can touch it wortks GREAT then you don't have to say anything. Do you live in Toutle?

I hope someone comes up with some clever little sentence that delivers the message politely- I can't think of anything, myself. So my only advice is that you give yourself permission to be what may feel somewhat rude. Let the Mama Tiger out- she's your baby and it's your job to protect her. If it's strangers who are so bothersome, in the long run it doesn't really matter what they think of you.

Maybe just a quick, "Please don't touch my baby. Can you believe her hair..." You know? Say it clearly and loudly enough they don't have to ask what you said, and then immediately continue the conversation, enthusiastically and with a charming smile.

Good luck!

J.

This is something that drives me insane. People used to do it with my son also, I had to ask people to keep thier distance or to please ask before you go and pick up or touch my child. She is your child, not thiers so you should have no problems with asking them to keep thier distance. Children this young getting the flu is not a good thing and you are doing what you need to do to protect her. As for doing it without being rude. Simply say I would appreciate it if at this point you would ask before you touch or try to pick up my daughter because I am trying to keep her from getting sick. Your gonna offend some people because some people just get offended no matter what, but others will understand. Good luck.

With both of my kids, I carried them in pouches or slings while out and about 95% of the time until they were over a year old. This way they weren't so accessable as a possed to just sitting in the carseat carrier. But I don't have any real good comments.

I know what you mean. People come up and touch my three year olds hands all the time and it drives me crazy. You're not out of line. I just ask people not to touch him. If they don't understand than thats too bad. Your little one sounds adorable!

This is a tough one. I still haven't figured out how to do this without being rude. My daughter has no hair but people are always trying to touch her chubby cheeks!! The best thing I have found is to put the car carrier cover as low as I can so it is hard to see her. However this doesn't always work and she gets upset sometimes when she can't see. Let me know if you get any good ideas. I could use some too.

I have a 6 month old daughter and I am a stay at home Mom in Molalla too. Do you know of a Mommy group in Molalla?

I just moved from a predominately hispanic population where they thought they would curse my daughter if they looked at her and did not touch her when she was an infant. I got tired of people touching her head/eyes, so I politely invited them to touch the bottom of her feet if they felt they had to. It seemed to work. Regardless, I know how you feel about people invading your baby's personal space.

-R.

Mandi-
You're not out of line. I have a 3.5 month-old and I have the same problem. People seem to think that babies are public property. It makes me very uncomfortable, and I'm sure it's weird for my son to have strangers getting right in his face. I don't have a perfect solution for the problem, but I think the straightforward approach is best. You could just say "I don't mean to be rude, but would you mind not touching her please?" If they seem offended, just explain that you're concerned about her getting sick. If people are clueless enough to just touch someone's baby without asking, they probably need to have it explained to them anyway, and maybe you'll wind up teaching them something. What do you think?