Hi Mamas!
I am looking for some advice with my mother. We lost my brother last month to a heart attack. He had been diagnosed with thyroid cancer in March, but his cancer prognosis was looking up when he died suddenly right in front of my mother. It has been a very stressful time for my mother, as it would be for any mother who lost their child this way. We all miss him so much and it's been a very difficult time for all of us.
Today, she tells me that on Sunday night, she was laying in bed when something struck her on her head. It wasn't a hard strike, but was like something something soft struck her with force- kind of like if a child throws a stuffed animal. It really shook her up and scared her as she lives alone. She turned on the light immediately, inspected the bed and room, and found nothing. She has a little dog, but it was asleep beside her bed. She was so rattled that she has been sleeping with the lights on.
This is not the first time this has happened. She told me that she has seen a black shadow, kind of like a small animal, moving quickly through the house. On one occasion, her little dog even ran after it down the hall. This happened more frequently a few years ago after my grandmother passed away, but has happened at other times too. She said that one evening she was watching TV when it felt like something nudged her hand, kind of like a dog when it wants to be petted. Another time she was lying awake in bed when she felt the edge of the bed move, like a dog when it puts it's paws on the edge of the bed. Again, her dog was asleep in his dog bed when this happened. She told my brother about this "shadow animal" when it was happening, but other than asking her about it occasionally, he never felt it was anything to be concerned about.
My mom has always been a very logical Christian woman. I never remember her once saying anything about the supernatural or ghosts when I was a child. I have no doubt that she believes what she saw and felt, though. I have even had a few unexplained things happen in her house when I was growing up- nothing scary or fearful. All things that could be explained away by my mother.
But now she is rattled by what happened the other night. Before this, she had not had anything happen in a long time. I worry that she is overstressed and other than listening, I don't know what else to tell her. She is grieving hard right now, but has a very strong support group of friends and family in addition to myself. However, I know grief can do crazy things to people.
Advice? Is this all in her mind? I don't know what to think, and I don't want her to be scared on top of everything else that she's going through. I'm just really concerned. What can I do to put her mind at ease?
Thanks so much for reading.
I talked to my mom, and last night she awoke to her pillow vibrating. When she got up, it stopped and didn't happen again. I tried to suggest the basics- like could it be a mouse, or some other vermin. She insists that that is not the experience she is having. She has tried reading bible verses, praying, etc. But the activity is continuing.
I would worry that she has something going on healthwise (she is a two time cancer survivor), but as closely as she is monitored for that, there is no chance that it's cancer anywhere in her body without her doctors knowing about it. She even had a full neurological workup 6 mos ago due to some numbness, and she is the picture of perfect health!
I'm just going to stand back and hope that this all stops soon. If it continues, and still distresses her, I may go and spend the night and see if I can pick anything up myself.
Thanks for all the feedback.
Sounds like hes trying to communicate. my dad and cousin did things to me after they passed. very cool!
My grandmother, a devout Christian, logical woman, believed she saw my grandfather after he passed, more than once. I believe it gave her comfort. I never tried to dissuade her or analyze what she believed. What difference would it have made? I do believe she may benefit from grief counseling. It may or may not be in her mind, but only address it if you believe there are additional problems related to it.
My mom, who was then a middle aged woman and who is now and always has been also a Christian logical woman swears she saw her dad, my grandpa, come to her bedside one night shortly after he died. She was going through a lot of guilt over his death and he told her "it will be o.k." So who knows what it is, but I think she would benefit from talking to clergy or a therapist. about her grief. My condolences on the loss of your brother.
I would call myself a logical Christian woman, middle aged, not much for silliness. I do believe there are things God hasn't told us about. Science has a glimpse of truth when they talk about different dementions, but I think reality will blow their mind! That said what we are talking about is how do we get peace in your mom's life again. For one thing let her sleep with the light on if it helps her. You might suggest a prayer journal. For some people it helps process trauma and it's where I get my peace. Tell it all to God, including what seems to be happening. He has all power in Heaven and Earth, he can deal with this. You could mention checking her anxiety out with an MD. A Christian group dealing with grief could be very helpful. I have known ladies who have slept on the couch after a spouse dies because it's just easier for a while. Give her time.
I believe that it could be some type of spirit. It doesn't sound malicious, just that it is trying to get her attention.
I totally believe in these things and frequently watch shows like ghost hunters which catch actual manifestations on camera. Things happen exactly the way she described.
I think she should contact either a psychic medium or paranormal group to look into it further. The other thing she can do is talk to it. Tell it to leave her alone and that it is scaring her.
I'm sure others will disagree with me because so many people are skeptical, but there aren't too many other explanations - I'm sure she's not hallucinating.
Most Christian beliefs involve life after death, angels and so forth, so this certainly wouldn't be against the Christian beliefs. Priests frequently bless homes as well.
I'm so sorry for the loss of your brother... What you said about the shadow of a little dog, was exactly what I experienced when my grandmother passed away. I was taking care of her affairs and staying in her home afterwards, which happened to be in a different country. She always had little dogs, usually toy poodles, but lastly she had yorkies. So, when I saw, what I thought was a little black dog, crossing the bottom of the stairs, and or at the top of the stairs, I knew it was her; checking in on things and saying good-bye; no doubt in my mind. My mother had passed away a year before, and I (unfortunately) haven't experienced anything like that. The only thing that I can decipher, is that my grandmother's death was sudden, and my mother's was not. So, my thought was that if there is un-left business, the spirit is more apt to make a presence, mostly to say "good-bye". JMO... Blessings to you and your family..
It really could be anything, but if it's supernatural, it doesn't sound like it's anything that wants to hurt your mother.
My grandmother has a ghost in her house, the worst thing he does is slam doors and hide oven knobs.
A lot of people are non-believers, until it happens to them. :)
I don't know what it could be. I've had some of my own experiences through the years. I waffle back and forth as to what is imagination and what was real. I think most people do.
If it is scaring her, then maybe she should do something about it. Pray in her house, have it blessed, or something. I think that then if it is all in her mind, the occurrences would stop. Kinda like a psychological placebo effect.
I don't really know which it could be.
I just wanted to say how very sorry I am that this happened. I hope your mother finds peace. Would she consider going to grief counseling?
God bless.
Victoria
Your mom is a Christian.
So encourage her (do it with her!) to walk through her home reciting Psalm 91.
Having some experience with this, growing up in a home with some pretty "active" spirits--this calms things down and she will experience less encounters.
Dark, scuttling shadows aren't usually a good thing nor spirits of our passed loved ones.
Good luck!
My condolences on the loss of your brother. We all grieve differently. I lost my mom in June of this year. On the day before she died, my coffee pot started brewing on it's own. It was not set to brew either and this was the first time that this sort of thing ever happened. I thought it was broken, but it still works great and has not ever started brewing on its own to date. As silly as this may sound to some people, I am convinced it was a sign. A few hours after I turned it off, I called the home where my mother lived. She was unconscious and dying. I had time to say I love you and goodbye. The next day, she passed away.
After the loss of my mom, I could not function. I couldn't eat and could barely sleep. I could see a huge black cloud over my head. All I wanted to do was sit on the couch and cry. I ended up going to my doctor who did a complete blood work up and put me on an antidepressant and energy vitamins. It has done wonders for me. It took about a full month for the drug and vitamins to take full effect, but I am so much better. I am still grieving, but it is manageable and I can take care of my family. My advice is that if things don't get better for your mom, have her make an appointment to her doctor. Keep being her support system too.
Wishing you and your mom the best.
Is she getting enough sleep? I have hallucinations if I am not getting enough sleep for a long period of time. My most common one is seeing a little animal running out of the corner of my eye. I hear that is pretty common. You can also hallucinate so strongly you "feel" things - it is just your nerves. Anyway, I'd ask her how she has been sleeping.
The same sort of thing happened to me once when my father was dying. I woken by a very definite tap tap tap on my toe. I thought it was one of the children, but when I checked everyone was sound asleep and snoring.
I went to my father's room because he was very close to the end of his life. I thought perhaps he needed some comfort and was sending me a little message to come and be with him. It was nice.
I hope your mother can find comfort, and that she'll relax with this little reminder of your brother.
A relative's house had similar problems.
If it's an unsettled soul, having a mass said for them will take care of the problem. If it's not... and the fact that she's discerning dark, animal like forms leads to believe that it's not....then I would pray for the disturbances to go away, and get some holy water from a catholic church and sprinkle it all around. If that didn't work, I'd ask a priest to come to the house to bless it. But most importantly, pray a lot. The rosary is a powerful prayer.
