Tantrums About Getting Dressed

I decided to *pick my battles*, it wasn't worth the fight. The only time I put my foot down is when my daughter wanted to wear a bathing suit outside when it was 15 degrees. So the compromise was she could wear it in the house but had to put clothes over it when we went outside.

My kids (7, 6, 4) don't like to wear pajamas to bed, just underwear. It drives my husband nuts, but I don't care. I do remind them that when we have somewhere nice to go, they need to wear the clothes I pick out. The majority of the time they pick out there own clothes, it is frightening, but we don't have the struggles anymore.

It happens to every toddler, I think. When my two-year-old granddaughter was here over Christmastime I noticed that there seemed to be sort of a switch inside her - she would be very happy and cooperative, and then suddenly it was diva time, and nothing, but nothing, was right!

I don't think it's the little sister or the routine - I think it's the stage of growth. You can't reason it out of her - I don't think reason has anything to do with it; you can only manage it until she's past that stage and on to the next one.

It sounds as if you're doing good things. Let her know in advance what is going to happen. "In a minute you'll get to [not "you'll have to"] take off your jammies and get into - what? Red or purple?" (Maybe she'll ask for green. That's all right if she does it politely.) "Then we'll think about breakfast."

"Mandy, do you see me setting the timer? It will go off in five minutes. When it goes off, it's the time to tell your toys to rest and go take a rest yourself."

Night time? Try the same thing. Sometimes it will work and sometimes it won't. "After your bath you can streak around a bit and then it's - what? The bear pajamas or the princess pajamas?" One night our princess suddenly nixed the choices given and asked for the very cute pajamas that she had *absolutely refused* to wear for a week and a half.

Keep your cool - and your sense of humor. Your daughter is not trying to make life difficult for you. She's really not trying to make life difficult for herself. She's just - well, she's just trying!

Do you include story time as you tuck her into bed? I found an effective way to deal with my kids as they pushed boundaries at bedtime was to explain to them that if they ran around, not getting into bed, or giving me a hard time when they were supposed to be brushing their teeth, etc. was that the longer they misbehaved, the shorter their story time became....at times they lost it all together, depending on the severity of their attitudes. Story time and our tuck in routine are very important to my kids, so after they lost it one night, the next when they would behave, I would point it out to them, "See how much more fun it is when we have a good attitude and do things the way they're supposed to be done?" this helped them draw the connection between positive and negative reinforcement concerning the same activity that has time between occurrences. It's a small suggestion, but often, the simplest things an help. I hope this helps you! Good luck!

It is just the age for independence plus a bit of personality. My just turned 3 year old is fine with getting dressed most of the time. It helps to make a game of it or give choices like the other post suggested. You could teach her some things to do herself. But my almost 6 year old still fights me at least half the time, especially school days. Sometimes I still have to help him and hand him each item or he would never be dressed and out the door. This is the same kid that ran and hid when I tried to get him dressed at 18 months and fought diaper changes from 10 months. He just wants to do everything his way (double sigh). So it depends on your kid how much you have to be firm. Also even after 8 months it may be a way of your older one getting attention (it took my older one well over a year to adjust to the new sibling).

Welcome to having an (almost) 3 yr old! LOL!
It's going to get worse...get ready for that!

I give my son (3.5) choices to pick from. Let him pick out which jammies he wants, and if he says "I don't want jammies", then he has to be naked until he picks some. He doesn't like being naked...

Time to introduce some parameters and give her little freedoms of choice.
Also add structure. Tell her 5 more minutes until PJs, and then count it down for her. That's worked well for us.

Hmm. I think you are doing everything right. Keep with the timer, keep changing her diaper and keep putting her PJs on and off.
Sounds like she is entering the phase of wanting to exert her own will and she is testing out the use of tantrums to get what she wants. This is the time to let her know you are the mommy:)
Sometimes these moments when they "challenge" are tough, but this is what we signed up for *sigh* So keep at it and find some things that she can be in charge of - for example lay out two pair of jammies and offer -"Sue, do you want to wear blue jammies or green jammies?" This allows them the "control" they are looking for, but they are still doing what needs to be done:)
OH - if she says "No!" reply with - "Well you have two choices, blue or green. If you can't make the choice, mommy will make it for you." Then repeat the original quesiton. THis is so helpful for all future "battles" that arise too - LOL!
Best of luck!

It sounds like she's having some trouble with transitioning from one "state of being" to another. You might want to try easing into things more slowly and gently and giving her more warning time before changing things up. Give her an additional five minutes to warm up to ideas of change before you implement the change to start.

"Sarah, I see you're having fun playing dolly time. In a few minutes it will be time to get in the bath tub." That would be her first warning.

"Sarah, it's time to start cleaning up your dollies. We need to get the bath tub ready for your bath." That would be her second warning.

"Great job cleaning up! Let's go get your bath ready for bath time!" There's her third warning, and in addition to that you can let her help get the tub ready by adding toys, getting herself undressed, getting her shampoo and towel together, and "checking the water temp" after you've checked it so that she can feel the temp before stepping in and making the choice to get into the water.

You can do a similar routine when it comes to getting her out of the tub and primed for getting dried off and getting pajamas on. When she wakes in the morning do the same thing before getting her dressed. Give her outfit options for the day. Lay out a choice of two pair of pants or a pair of pants versus a skirt and two tops that could go with either bottoms. Let her pick out the socks, underwear, and shoes. While she's choosing what she'll wear she's getting herself ready to transition and changing her mindset to "Sarah in jammies" to "Sarah in day clothes."

I have a child on the Autism spectrum who has some major problems with transitioning. These are just a few of the methods we use. Yes, they can be time consuming versus what you're doing now but it's worth it. Parenting takes time.

Welcome to the Terrible Two's / Terrible Three's!
It's a development stage every kid goes through in one form or another.
You're doing all you can - just keep it up.
Within a year or so it will get better and then you'll have a bit of a break before your younger one goes through it.
Hang in there!