Teaching Your Children to Clean and Be Independent

The cookbook thing is a great idea! my daughter is only two but she loves to help so we embrace it! She puts her dishes away after I take them out of the dishwasher (we keep all of her dishes in a bin near the floor so that she has access) she gets a clean cup out in the morning. She also loves to help me move clothes from the washer to the dryer and will help "fold" clothes. She puts her dirty clothes into her hamper. After we eat dinner she carries her plate to the kitchen from the dining room.
Even with her being so young I think it will be easier to teach her how to do chores/help around the house when she is old enough to really help.

If I die my 15 year old can run this household. She can pay bills, do laundry, cook, take care of dogs--knows the anmals' vet schedule. Knows the dentist's and doctor's numbers, what to do in the case of an allergic reaction.
My 13 year old is learning to cook meals now. She is great at baking. Since I homeschool I let her write out the checks every months and she helps me with the household budget. She also does laundry. She is my clean freak and will clean with toothpicks and Qtips if I don't stop her.
My 22 yo left for bootcamp and wrote my husband, (while hubby was in Iraq)
thanking us for teaching him how to be self sufficient and how to iron.
My 3 that are home have daily and weekly chores.

I think the goal of being a mother is to give them the tools to survive on their own, because that is ultimately what they will have to do. When they leave the house as independent, self sufficient, self confident young people I have done my job. I dont' want my children to have to rely on anyone, the girls or the boys.
My hubby has taught my 22 yo boy and 15 yo girl how to do basic maintenance on the car too. He will teach the other two as they get closer to having their licenses.
Oh and for Christmas tthis year I gave my son, 22, a cookbook with all my recipes. He loves it.

I love your idea!

My oldest has a hand in every facet of the "chores", a job for every room so to speak. other than that she must handle all her own mess.

my mom died when i was 8, once she did i had to take over the household responsibilities , she had made sure i knew how. its a very valuable thing to learn.

Both kids have to help set the table and clean up their plates afterwards. My kids are 4 years old (girl) and 6.5 years old (boy). My son has to scrape his dishes and put them in the dishwasher. My daughter just has to scrape and set on the counter (as she can't really put them in the dishwasher). My son has a weekly chore which he gets paid for, he has to pick up the living room and bedrooms and swiffer so we can vaccuum the rugs. They are both expected to clean up their toys when done. Both help with cooking and baking. Also they clean up any messes they make or spills. I too think it's important for kids, regardless of gender to help out and learn household chores.

There would be two things I would add to your kids' independent life education.

Basic vehicle maintenance - Check/change oil & filter, check tire inflation and tread wear, change a flat, jump start, pump gas, etc.

Basic financial literacy - Write a check, balance a check book, use of a debit card, tracking spending/balancing to account online, use of an ATM, responsible use of credit, etc.

This last one is one of the most valuable lesson you can teach a child. My girls are 14 and 16. We just set up our 16 year old with a debit card linked to her own account. We transfer her monthly allowance into this account on the 1st of the month. It is up to her to budget the $$ and make sure she doesn't go overdrawn. We don't top her up with cash at all during the month. If she spends everything too fast, she's out of luck. No $$ equals no gas in the car and you get to walk. :) We've also shown both girls what happens when you keep a balance on a credit card. (something we never do). Buying a dress for $50 is fine. Charging a dress for $50 for cash flow reasons is also fine, IF the credit card has no current balance and you pay the new balance in full at the end of the month. We showed them how much that dress would cost and how long it would take to pay for it, if they made the minimum payment only on an 8% card. We also explained that when a card has a balance all the new charges are subject to that interest right away, not the grace period you get with an empty card. These are things that a lot of adults I know haven't grasped yet. The minute a kid turns 18 they are bombarded by credit offers, especially if they are at college. There is a lot of temptation out there and our kids need this basic knowledge to understand the consequences of living beyond their means. My father-in-law used to call buying on credit 'the never-never', because you will never, never pay it off! lol

I actually need help with this... My hubby has a 10 year old girl and he does everything for her including doing her hair or even getting drinks for her cause she never wants to go to the fridge.... I am trying to talk to him little by little of the importance of an independent kid but he doesn't get it.... I always tell him that at her age I would cook, clean, and even do laundry. His daughter doesn't even know how to wash a plate or get dress on her own.... I don't know what else to do to make him understand that he is raising a person that won't know how to clean her butt as an adult....

Any advise?????

I worked hard to have SD appreciate how the house was kept clean even though I worked full time by doing some light help w/the household chores:
vacuuming
dusting
help with the laundry (now that she is 12 my husband has her do her own laundry)
help w/dinner on occasion (and during the week homework needed to be done so I didn't have her help then)
loading the dishwasher (I would always unload since the cabinets were up high)

make it FUN for them, turn it into a game, like a race or "special time" with mommy or daddy, when my dd was little, she'd get on her little toy mower and mow a ways behind me following me so she too would be mowing and "making sure" i got all the tall grass, she had a BLAST with that one

give them BIG rewards for volunteering, it'll make them feel special

My 1 & 2 year olds are already helping me put the groceries away & the laundry in the washer & dryer. When my 2 year old had just turned 1 he already was strong enough to open the refrigerator door, so he goes in there by himself for snacks & juice...lol. They also help me load & close the dishwasher. It's a blessing to have two little boys who already volunteer to lend a helping hand.

My eight year old granddaughter empties the dishwasher, folds and puts away her own laundry, cleans the sink, toilet, mirror and empties the garbage in her bathroom (I do the tub and floor), and wipes down the tables in the living room. She is very good at all of it and when she turns nine, I'm going to add dishes to her list!

I'd add some yard work to that -- mowing, raking, planting, weeding, sweeping the sidewalk. Maybe plant some veges and herbs to use with your cooking! My daughter loves to trim the plants with the clippers, and my son likes using the leaf blower. You don't say how old your kids are, but they can start at any age. We got some "kid sized" garden tools at OSH years ago.

I love the cookbook idea. My husband and his brother didn't pay any attention to their mother's wonderful cooking when she was alive, and she passed away before I met DH. She had a recipe box and many cookbooks, which I gladly took when my FIL offered them to me when he was cleaning out their house for a move, but they're not organized in a way that I can find the recipes that many years later, my husband would like to have again. With that in mind, I have a recipe binder that has recipes and instructions for everything I cook, even the stuff that I know how to make without a recipe. I originally did this so that my husband would feel more confident cooking dinner on his nights to cook but it's nice to know that if I dropped dead tomorrow, anyone (kids included) could go into my kitchen and cook up family favorites just the way that they like them!