Teen Tanning

http://www.king5.com/health/Young-woman-with-skin-cancer-...

Have her watch this and read the article. It's about a woman who is fighting skin cancer (melanoma?) and just a few days ago died. She was 41.
She wanted to get the word out about how dangerous tanning beds are.

L.

Absolutely NOT. Tanning is dangerous and permanently damages the skin.

Perhaps mystic tan or spray tanning would be an option? That way she can get the color without all the damage and dangers?

I would tell her just like I tell my kids. I am not their parent so I can't stop them from doing it. But you are my child.

Get her a spray tan... she probably just wants the tan look and I know people who have done spray tans with good results (looks like a normal tanning bed tan).

If you explain to her than tanning is really bad for your skin and that you a) don't want her to get skin cancer, and b) don't want her to look 10 years older than she is when she starts really aging, and offer up a spray tan as an alternative everyone should be happy!

Good luck, I'm pale and it took me a long time to embrace it, but pale healthy skin is prettier than tan leathery skin any day!

She won't really understand until she's a grown woman with kids of her own. Teenagers are, by nature, short sighted, self focused and immature. They think they are invincible, and their concept of the future is often distorted and vague. Telling her she could get cancer is probably like telling her she could grow a second head, she just doesn't believe it will ever happen.
Nothing you can do but keep saying no, and keep reminding her why. Sadly the "good" moms are usually the "mean" moms :-(

I love this article:

http://www.skincancer.org/prevention/tanning/appearance-t...

If your girl is pressuring you, tell her simply "No, not until you are 18 and old enough to make an educated decision." Period.

THEN, find a 'win' for her. If she's looking to spruce up her appearance, consider other things which might be less carcinogenic. Some new earrings? Shopping for a cool outfit at a vintage store? This might be the time to make an exception and go to a makeup counter and let them do her up-- she could pick out a couple shades of eyeshadow or liner, blush, a good powder for her face.

My uncle nearly died of melanoma, so I do understand your concern. I grew up in the age before sunblock under the Honolulu sun and have lots of moles and freckles. I'd acknowledge that your daughter has friends who are allowed to do this, and that you understand that she feels she's missing out. The 'just once' argument is likely to be fuel for further arguments, IMO. ("It was fine last time, nothing bad happened to me... why can't I do it again.") This is why I suggest the article above and then finding some way to soothe the urge to look just like her friends.

You may also need to think about some very real consequences for her if she decides to sneak off to the salon once she's 16, too.

ETA: I, too, second the idea of a spray tan. That's another, safer, option.

So horrible that the moms are buying packages for their daughters!! Why not just buy them some cigarettes too? Tanning beds are gross and can become addictive and can cause serious burns. You can compromise by letting her get a spray tan a few times in the winter months.

Well, right now she's not old enough to legally go. PERIOD.

She'll be 16 soon enough though so you will not have that reasoning long. At 16 do you have to sign for her to be allowed? If so, explain to her that as her mom it is your job to do what is in her best interest....tanning is not in her best interest. When she argues that her friends do it, remind her that you can not control what her friends' parents allow and you will not defer to their judgement as for what is best for her. Acknowledge that she is disappointed but assure her that you are only refusing out of love.

Tell her that once she is 18 (legally old enough to sign for herself) she can make her own educated decisions (educate her before that with facts) and pay for her decisions both monetarily and physically.

I would tell her no and why. I would also talk to her pediatrician (and make sure you and the doc are on the same page) and ask the doctor to talk to her. Sometimes they listen better to someone else. Tanning is also addictive. I would talk to her and listen to her and explain that you understand peer pressure but until she is 18, the answer is no to the tanning bed. I might consider a spray tan, but I would not allow my DD to use a tanning bed or to deliberately tan on the lawn.

ETA: my DH's friend's first wife died of skin cancer. So the sks know that his daughters' mom died from skin cancer when they were quite young. We still had to remind them of this when they were teens, but sometimes kids need a real-world, nearby example, too.

To answer your question -- "how can I get her to understand that just because your friends do it doesn't make it safe?" -- that's tough. The other links below are great and work for convincing this 48-year-old, but I don't know how real they are to a 15-year-old.

Here are a couple articles from Seventeen Magazine (maybe showing my age here, but that was the cool magazine when I was your daughter's age) that you might want to show her:

http://www.seventeen.com/health/tips/katie-donnar-skin-ca...
http://www.seventeen.com/fun/ann/tanning-bed-dangers
http://www.seventeen.com/beauty/tips/best-salons-for-spra...

I really like the last one because it focuses on what she can do (time and money provided) rather than what she shouldn't do.

Oh, and welcome to mamapedia!

Just keep saying no. I'm not sure you can convince her of anything at this point. Maybe get her some self tanner. It's really come a long way from the orange streaky stuff back when I was a teenager. I use that Olay touch of sun, and it works pretty well.

Changing my response: I'm on the fence between forbidding it, and telling her that you completely disagree with it and if she's going to do it she has to use her own money. I'm not entirely sure what I would have told my own daughter. I know that I told my daughter of my disapproval when she would sit outside to tan, and she seems to have listened to me and kept it to a minimum. Sometimes I think taking the hard line makes them hell-bent to do it once they are emancipated, so it's better to approach the issue more moderately.

Remind her that, aside from the cancer risk, if she gets in the habit of tanning she will seriously regret it when she is 50 (I regret every minute of it). Show her the pictures of "tan mom" if she needs to see how hideous it is. Remember her? She's the one who got a lot of media attention for taking her daughter to the tanning salon. Google "tan mom."

I hope you can get through to her. My sister is 18 mos older than I am, and has worshipped the sun since her teen years. (We are also from MN). I, however, have been to a tanning bed once in my life, and when I go on vacation I don't lay out in the sun. She started getting crows feet by her eyes by the time she was 25. I am 31 and still don't have any wrinkles.

I have done spray-tanning once, and have a Sally Hansen leg spray for when my milky white legs will be showing. I would buy her a set of 3 spray tan session, but I would never pay for my kid to go lay in a tanning bed.

In a few months, though, it'll be summer, and I'm sure she'll be wanting to hang out at the beaches or pools with her friends. Try to do what you can now to educate her about safe sun habits, because the sun is very tempting, especially towards the end of winter when cabin fever is so deeply entrenched.

Just show her pictures of that tan-a-holic New Jersey mom:

http://www.rawstory.com/rs/wp-content/uploads/2012/05/pat...

Her skin looks like a leather couch.

I'm surprised she's interested in it after your breast cancer ordeal.
Maybe she should talk to some of your doctors about it.
Don't give her money for it and make a goal for something else the money can be spent on that she wants really badly.
Get her involved in other activities that will get her to spend less time with that particular peer group.

Kids and teens have always wanted what their friends have, or want to do what they're doing... it's a combo of wanting to fit in, and peer pressure.

Why are some parents more interested in saying "yes" and being their childrens' friends than telling them no and protecting them? It very sad.

I don't have any advice as my daughter isn't at that stage yet, but you sound like a great mom. Bronzer or self tan lotion might be a good option. Keep doing what you're doing.

OK unpopular answer here - when she turns 16, let her tan with her own $. Share with her all the great links about prevention, alternates to the beds and cautionary tales. But this is an opportunity to give her the information and then let her make her own decision based on that information and start turning over decisions about her and her body to her. She will live with the consequences. It is time. If she drives a car at 16, she can decide to tan.
You may be surprised at how little she can tan with you not footing the bill or how wise she becomes once she is allowed to make decisions about her body for herself or how quickly she is bored of the fad once it is no longer a taboo.

good luck with your guidance and moving forward.:)

I totally agree with the spray tan suggestion -- and maybe a new haircut or makeup makeover to go with it. If she's going to be so focused on how she looks & what her friends are doing, "one up" it a bit with a new cut.

By the way: congratulations on joining the "mean mom" club! I'm so glad to have you as a member! Keep it up, mama!

She's old enough to understand your reasons; she just doesn't want to hear them because they come with a "No." Until she turns sixteen, your "No" is sufficient. If she does it against your will at sixteen, then you will have to have some consequences in place.

i just don't get tanning salons at ALL!
i understand those (especially in your position) who choose not to tan. smart choice. healthy choice.
but for those of us who do, why on earth deprive yourself of the joy of actually lying in the sun?
i just cannot for the life of me imagine paying to lie in a coffin and get cooked with artificial dangerous lightwaves when i could lie out in the glory of the real live sun, with all of its dangers and benefits, and let it melt my bones into happy glorious goo.
the day i have to quit sunbathing, you might as well shoot me.
but NEVER in a tanning bed!
khairete
S.

Show her online photos of what aging tanned skin looks like. Then say no. And if she goes, take her phone away or something detrimental like that.

Jergens has a great self tanner. Tell her to try that!

Try spray tanning. I would never let her do that. She would just have to understand you are not willing to let her subject her to possibly putting her at risk for skin cancer. Show her some photos of skin cancer, not pretty. We just had a family member die of skin cancer.

If she were my daughter I would not let her go. So good for you for saying NO!

My 18 yr old will not go to a tanning salon or sit in the sun and bake.

She LOVES a nice tan though... she uses L'Oreal self tan and it looks great. When she has a special competition or something like that, she will go to Planet Tan and get the spray tan.

She says.. "I don't want to look like a piece of leather at 40 yrs old".

Just let your daughter see some pics of people so do worship the sun at the ages of 40+. It did the trick for my daughter. Me too!!

Google tanning damage to skin images and see how she likes what she'll look like in a few years.

When you get the page up you should have a link on the top for "images" that will go to only pictures and you can pick a few, save them if you like, then show her the damage that she is doing each and every time she goes out without sunscreen on.

You have every right to say "no". After what you yourself have been through.
Teenagers' I find now adays' want whatever theiir friends have. Try to explain to your daughter that she need not be a follower, but a Leader. Perhaps your daughter doesn't really understand that being on a Tanning Bed is no different than being in the Sun. I dont' know how many times I tell my daughter not to let the kids out w/o some sort of tanning lotion. Myself I have an allergy to the sun "Yay for me" just kidding. However, I do have psoriasis and have to give myself a needle every 2 wks. so I do not break out. If by chance I go somewhere and end up stopping w/o a sweater or long sleeved blouse I break out in bumps all over, get very itchy. I have to say thank you for the medicine although iit to has its' side effects some that are not good. Teenagers' and I mean teenagers' do not have the education to stop abusing their bodies. I dont' mean this in a mean way but a Tanning Bed iis no different than being in the sun. When I told my Dermatologist that I had an allergy to the sun, that I break out like I have walked into a Poison Ivy Bush. So pls. if need be show them this email, as I said my Dermatologist basically jumped for joy that I need not be under those bright lights' as she said they are just as bad as being out in the sun. That is obvious once you see so many walking the streets in May already tanned. Again, please tell her to be a LEADER and explain to her friends' that cancer from those lamps are not the answer. If they tanned naturally so be it and it will not be a constant light., it will be natural. Even then its' not good but how do you tell teenagers' that they have to wear long sleeves in the summer, we know for certain thats' not going to happen. I wish you luck!!

It is hard when you are a teen and you want to do what your friends are doing. But tanning is something that can cause lifelong problems, not only cosmetically, but it can cause skin cancer --melanoma which can be fatal if not caught and treated early. My husband has melanoma -was diagnosed early and treated in 2000 and continues to be monitored yearly. We go to MD Anderson Hospital in Houston for his annual check-up. Besides a lot of middle age men being treated, there are a lot of teen age/early 20's young girls that have been tanning for years and have developed melanoma and are being treated. Some melanomas were not caught early enough and these girls are undergoing surgeries, chemo and trials to try to stay alive. My daughter used to want to go and tan and we finally talked her out of tanning when her dad was diagnosed. also what made a big impact was a sorority sister that came back and talked to their sorority about skin cancer. She was 26, had tanned as a teenager and now had an advanced case of melanoma. She found out a month after she got married and now was just trying to stay alive. She begged the girls not to go to tanning salons. Just keep saying NO! What is wrong with some of those other Moms??

i live in the same town as "tanning mom" .. unfortunatley... has she heard about that?? pull up a picture of this lady and let her read the story.. this ladys face should be warning enough on why she shouldnt be tanning.. they changed/are in the process of changing the laws around here becauseof her.. now kids under 18 cant go tanning ... i knew a ton of people in highschool who were way into it.. the only time i ever went was before proms/formals.. the first one i went to i was only 14 and i did do 3 tanning sessions leading up to it, but i see that as an exception being that it was for a special event not "just because"