Telling the Boss

Updated on June 29, 2008
T.M. asks from Glenview, IL
5 answers

I hadn't planned on telling my bosses about my pregnancy until the end of the first trimester. Unfortunately, I have been training for a half ironman that is coming up soon. Obviously, I am not doing the race, but they think that I am. How do I get out of this one? Do I tell them sooner or fake an injury? I have been told, with equal convition, to do one of the two options, so I don't know what to do. I am not a good liar.

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So What Happened?

I want to tell everyone at my office, but I haven't even had my first ultrasound yet. I think that if I tell them in confidence, it will be fine. I just wanted to wait until the second trimester because that seems like what one does. I think I have a great relationship with my bosses and they seem to be very family oriented. I think I will probably spill the beans after my ultrasound. I have a feeling they will not believe me if I tell them I just decided not to do it. Thanks for taking the time to write the great advice.

More Answers

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

My opinion is honesty is always the best policy. Lying always causes more trouble than it's worth. I understand about not wanting to say anything so early, maybe you can just tell them you're not doing it anymore and leave it at that. Do you really need to provide them with a reason? If they ask why just tell them that you'd rather not say. Then once you are ready to tell them the news, it will be on your terms. Yes it will make them guess a lot, but you can still technically keep it to yourself. Hope this helps

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J.

answers from Chicago on

Don't fake an injury. They can subtract and they'll know later that you lied! How about "I have so much going on that I decided to wait until next year." Better yet, "the training was interfering with the extra hours I like to spend at work." (haha!)

Congratulations on your pregnancy.

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N.K.

answers from Chicago on

You could say you've decided not to do the race because your body is telling you that you need some extra rest right now. Then, later when you share the great news, they will fully understand why you needed extra rest. I would not lie or invent an injury because when you do share your good news, they will realize that you deceived them, which will reflect badly on you as an employee. Congratulations!!!

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L.P.

answers from Chicago on

What is your relationship with your bosses? It took me almost a year to get pregnant so when I did I wanted to tell everyone, but I didn't. However, I wanted my bosses to know in case my exhaustion and morning sickness, etc. started to affect my work (sometimes I'd be in the restroom for 20 minutes at a time). So, I told my bosses early on but asked them not to tell anyone else until I was ready. I also told the HR Director because I felt it was my responsibility as an employee to let them know. Obviously, that conversation was confidential and he too could not tell anyone until I told him it was okay.

If you don't have a good relationship with your bosses and/or you don't want to tell them your pregnant until your second trimester, I would just simply tell them you've decided not to do the ironman. If they ask you why, you could just say that you haven't been feeling very well lately. That way you have not lied to them and you have not misled them in any way.

Whatever you decide, make sure it is what you are comfortable with. Best of luck.

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E.F.

answers from Chicago on

You could just tell them that you have decided not to do the half ironman and no reason has to be given. Why weren't you going to tell your boss? Just in case something happens? It may be good to tell your boss, he/she may be a good support if you start to have morning sickness or anything else that may come up. Don't lie. You will eventually tell them that you are pregnant and they may put two and two together and realize you lied. Which would most likely be taken as a white lie, but it also mares your integrity. Good Luck

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