The Young, Gorgeous Homewrecker at His Job

wouldn't do a thing. men who don't put out 'available' vibes tend not to get into trouble. you can't and shouldn't do anything to control her behavior. she's an adult and if she's into wild times with married men, she can do so and will always find men who are willing to oblige. women like her don't worry me one bit. she'll either grow out of it or end up sad and used when her beauty starts to fade.
men who can't be trusted around gals like her? they're a dime a dozen. but i wouldn't have a man like that around in the first place.
sorry if that sounds cocky. but i guess i am. i'm worth far too much to be troubled by that sort of scenario, and have a mate who is worthy of me.
khairete
S.

Hate to say it but it takes 2 to tango....these guys should NOT be posing for pictures with this woman or hanging out with her in bars. Yeah-she does sound a little slutty but your husbands are grown men and should act accordingly.

While he may not have much choice in work traveling companions, presumably he can limit where he goes and when his picture is taken with this woman. Surely he can see that he (and possibly the company) can be seen in a poor light by these photos. If her behavior away from the office is an issue, they may need to speak to her supervisor. Now, they may not see it the same way you do, but I'd still bring it up to him, in a non-accusatory way. Maybe from a business vs personal perspective. But that's on him/them, not you or the other wife. I wouldn't hound him about it.

The OTHER side of the "she likes married men" coin is that the married man is responsible for his own actions, too. She could be a homewrecker...but not for HIS home. If you have no reason to think your husband is lying, then trust him. If he wanted to cheat on you, he could find any 25 yr old at any bar at any time.

I agree that the problem here is the husbands. If she already broke up one marriage and everyone knows about it, why aren't these married men avoiding her like the plague? I doubt she's holding a gun to their head and forcing them to go drinking with her and pose for pictures. She's not doing anything wrong, the husbands are! She couldn't flirt with a married man unless he flirts back.

Unless these husband's want their own marriages broken up, they need to learn how to say "no thank you". Do I want to go to the beach with you? No thank you. Do I want to go to the bar with you? No thank you. Take a picture with you? No thanks.

You all need to have some serious conversations with your husbands. My husband would never dream of acting this way with another woman, because he knows I would never tolerate it and he values his family more than the attention of some young girl. Good luck. I hope your husbands start acting like married men should.

She sounds very pathetic.

Your husband (and his male coworker) don't really need to be "friends" with her on FB and just the fact that the pix seen by the kids upset them makes that point. Problem solved. The kids can also have her blocked on their accounts so they never see something via any mutual friends by accident.

As for her attraction to married men: if you have a good, solid marriage, then you don't need to worry.

was your husband on photos too? if so, why aren't you mad at him?kick his behind. it's not the girl's fault. looks like she has willing parties.

What would I do? Nothing. Honestly, what exactly do you think you're going to do...go into the office and give this girl a stern talking to? Do you think you're going to be able to tell your husband what he NEEDS to say to her and that it will actually get said to her in that way? Why would quitting a job because of a flirtatious coworker even be an option in the first place?

Listen, the point is that it really doesn't matter one bit how beautiful, smart or young this lady is. It also doesn't matter one bit that she prefers married men. What matters is that these men that she is involving herself with WANT her attention. They enjoy spending their time and energy with her. What matters is the level of trust and commitment between you and your hsuband. Only you know how deep that runs. None of us can tell you what to do because we're not in your marriage. We'll all have differing opinions on how we would handle the situation...because every marriage is different. One wife may insist that her husband never be alone with this woman, while another (like me) wouldn't give it a second thought. I can tell you that the one thing I would do is keep an open dialogue with my husband about his job and his trips. Don't let someone else's insecurities shake your marriage :)

Your husbands can stop going to the bar, beach, restaurants, etc. with this woman. They don't have to engage socially with her (and if they say they do that is a flat out lie). They can be civil/friendly while on the job and have nothing to do with her off of the job. The married men are just as much at fault as she is in this situation.

My daughters husband is in a job that has real social/ take the customers out and show them a good time side to it. There is also a "secretary" that worries my daughter no end. I have told her that she has to decide if she trusts him...and if she does...she needs to forget about the "secretary". If a man wants to be faithful to his wife...nothing is going to make him cheat...if he wants to cheat...nothing is going to make him be faithful.
You can't live your life worrying about this co-worker...don't give her that much power. She is playing a "game" you refuse to be a part of it .

Does she prefer married men or do they prefer her... It's all a matter of how you look at things. People do what they do in life because there IS a pay off of some sort. In her case, perhaps it's attention, in the husbands' cases, perhaps it's attention as well. It easy to say it's the woman who is the homewrecker, but the guys who buy into the girl's flirting are also to blame if not more of it. I mean stop for a minute, this woman , albeit is an adult, at 25 we make a lot of stupid mistakes in life, hers is posting those pics and are always looking for attention via her body. Those men , they are older, why don't they know better, why aren't they being chastised. Believe me, they aren't victims, if they don't want their pictures posted, then they should go to her and ask her take them down. Additionally, she probably does what she does because the guys (not all) but some, lead her on.. Some men love to have their ego stroked, and a hot , young girl can sometimes do the trick. For those men who don't need their ego stroked and for the women who don't feel insecure about themselves, having that lady around isn't going to be a problem. I don't think that woman is the problem in as much as I think trust in a relationship is what it comes down to.
In the meanwhile, keep lines of communication open, share your concerns and see where that takes you..

I wish you the best

I'd nip it in the bud-tell your husband that a woman flaunting herself at married men at work constitutes sexual harrassment-and is actionable. If the employer has knowledge of this behavior-they are liable. The married guys have "bought into it" and have not discouraged it-and until they put her in her place-with "I'm married!" she will continue.I personally would fire her-she is a liability-not an asset-bright women don't engage in that sort of behavior.

The married guys posed for those pictures with her, did they not?

As for the marriage "she broke up," the man could have said "No" when she propositioned him.
If she ends up in bed with anyone else's husband, it's as much his fault as hers.

The responsibility has to fall on the husbands. They are the ones you and your friend married and are able to make their own decisions. SHE can't make them misbehave or break up a marriage by herself.

There are situations when it is completely fine for opposite gender employees to be together and I think a person (spouse) needs to be secure in that. Often times careers and professions require lunches/dinners happy hours...it can be just business. I'm in sales and have had sales meetings all over Europe and North America with both genders. These employees hang out together during meetings and even some in bars after group dinners. This does not prove affairs...everyone has to live up to their vows with integrity without being locked in a closet.

I'm am NOT a fan of people who troll after people's spouses. However, it takes TWO people to wreck a home. A CONSENTING man and woman. Unless she was running around with a gun in her hand forcing these men into those actions, THEY should be held responsible, also. Sure, she's looking for this attention...but guess who's giving it to her? All of your husband's. She wouldn't be getting anywhere, if they weren't giving her attention...now would she? Maybe, instead of getting on a forum blasting this chick...you all need to sit down with your husbands and hash this out. THEY are the ones breaking your trust, not her. THEY are married to you, not her. THEY owe you an explanation, not her. THEY are the father of your children, not her. THEY are choosing to put their marriages at risk, not her.
You can spend your time worrying about this young little thing, or trying to work on your marriage. Your attention (and jealousy) is focused on the wrong person. They are upset, because they are CAUGHT. It wouldn't be a problem, if they WEREN'T there to take these pictures.

I agree with Mom of One. You can't control this lil' witch's intentions/actions/thoughts etc. However, your husband's can control themselves. Married couples who have mutual love and respect for eachother and their families have nothing to fear. However, that does not mean that you don't put up safeguards to not be tempted etc..Set boundaries. Husbands should not be out socializing with single women period! As far as FB again you can't control her posts. Block the connection and move on. Her behavior at work in innapropriate...Guess what? Eventually she will meet her waterloo and will be terminated for such behavior. I know a few people who got carried away and you know it...they got axed....

I was kinda in this situation last year. My husband had a friend at work that he hung out with and took walks with during break - she was young and kinda ditzy and had the reputation of the office ho. I flipped out (and I am NOT the jealous type) and demanded he stop being friends with her. Long story short - it almost ruined our marriage. NOt because he DID anything (or she did anything either) but because I was FREAKING OUT OVER NOTHING. Look at what else is going on in your life - is this women really a symbol for some other issue? In the long run - that's exactly what was happening in my situation. We had a new baby, my husband was working 70 hours a week then coming home and working some more - we were both over stressed and just vulnerable. I felt I could CONTROL the interactions w/that woman - but in the end I couldn't. It blew up - we ended up in 6 months of counseling - and I even had a crazy lunch time "date" with the other women - but in teh end it all worked out - we renewed our vows and are stronger than ever - but in retrospect I wish I had never dedicated so much time and energy into this woman. I guess that is my true point - she's got in you in a bind over nothing - give it back to the universe and focus on your family. :-)

Im sorry to hear about yours and your friends situation.. there is some things ive gathered from reading this.. and from myself who is not married.. but is in a long term committed with 1 daughter and another one on the way, I could only say that you should talk to your husband about the conversation and phonecall you had from from the wife of the man who works with your husband... if you are having doubts about the possibility of the younger woman and your husband having an affair or the possibility of her breaking up your marriage, i would have to assume you may have some trust issues and doubts of your own.. Now whether or not that may be the way you are feeling Im not sure.. but the best and only thing you can really do at this point is talk to your husband and your friend should do the same and talk with her husband about your feelings and about the concerns you have with the a situation; remember talking about your feelings wont hurt as much as not talking about them.. If you dont talk about it.. it will only bother you more and could be more damaging the your relationship than anything.. Good luck..

Hi Mama
Forget about her,she is of no relevance,there are always going to be young things like her around.lol. If she is not being professional than the company should be following their procedures with her.
The main person here is your hubby and I would checking with him to ensure that he is not disrespecting you in any way or playing this game with her.
Wishing you all the best
B.

I would talk to my husband and request that he eliminate his outside the office socializing with this lady. I would also ask him to request she not post pictures of him on her FB page (he should tell her that he doesn't want to be on the internet). Tell him that you wouldn't want the kids seeing it because it gives a bad impression and it makes you uncomfortable.

I think I have to agree with some of the other replies you have received here. Yes, it is totally wrong or immoral for her to be going after these married men and shame on her for doing so. HOWEVER, it takes two to tango baby and I think I would swtrongly remind my husband just what all he has to lose over this chick should he decide to have a moments weakness. Why are the married men going out to "bars" with her in the first place? If you are married you have no business in that environment and you are setting yourself up for temptation especially if alcohol is involved. On top of that this gal wouldn't have so much fuel if these guys weren't giving it away. MEaning if they made it clear that they were "unavailable" then she would focus on someone else that would give her the cleaqr indication that yes there is a possability of availableness. They got caught and now they are trying to cover their tracks so to say. They put themselves into that situation and continue to do so. It's their choice and although I would love love to give a gal of this sort a peice of MY mind-she ain't worth it and if your hubby is loyal to you well then you have nothing to worry about....if he isn't so loyal and he does do something he shouldn't then I guess you have a major decision to make. He has more to lose than she does and typically that is usually the case....men "regret" after the fact always always always and typically deny deny deny even though the prrof is right there in front of them. Some women will do the same as to make it "gender" fair. I have seen it with BOTH sexes but men do typically mock this behavior more frequently than women......

I'm curious as to how the guys kids have seen these pictures? I mean, if they are seeing them on FB then she is either has her settings set to 'Everyone' or she'd have to be friends on FB with their kids....which is something else entirely.

I worked for years in a corporate setting and was friends with guys in my group. Other than hanging out as a group to go out to lunch, we never hung out after work hours. My husband traveled a lot for his job, and on the few occasions when a female co-worker was traveling too, he certainly wasn't hanging out in bars and at the beach, etc. with her.

However, back to your question, It seems to me that the obvious answer is that your husbands need to tell her to "back off" and they should stop being in pictures with her and quit "doing" stuff with her outside of work. Just because they work together doesn't mean that they are required to eat meals with at restaurants, go to the bar, the beach, etc. with her. So I'd say, "cut the *rap" and quit hanging out with her. I'd even go so far as to find out if they are required to stay at the same hotel, and if not, chose a different one and don't tell her. If they can't tell her to back off and that taking pictures together and posting them online is inappropriate, then that's a different problem.

If they do all of the above and she still isn't backing off, then I'd say they need to take the next step and contact their HR department and make an anonymous inquiring as to what constitutes workplace harassment, and if it can be considered such if it's not during actual work hours, especially with the situation they are in.

First you can ask her to take down the photos. Now she may not, but if the guys are tagged in the pictures they can untag themselves so that others will not see them (unless they too are friends with this lady).

Secondly on facebook you can go into your settings (or the hubbys since that is the issue) and somewhere you can set it so that other can NOT tag you in a photo. Once again this will keep others from sharing your name with the world.

I am surprised that the company has not had a sit down with her, or fired her. That is so un-professional. Has anyone, hubbies or wives, talked to the company HR about this? If anything at all is happening during the work hours they can bring it up with HR, as men sometimes it is not taken as seriously but it should be, a women complains and actions is taken (also beware that if they say something she very likely can turn around and twisit everything to look bad on them).

If you have a stong marriage this should not matter. I am married, like to dress up and go out (of course I am sure I am more respectful then this lady in the way I dress and act), it is nice to know I am still cute and the attention is nice but I always am clear that I am married and just having fun with friends if any guy apporaches me. I also respect and love my husband and if he feels uncomrtable with anything I do/say/wear then I do not do/say/wear it (with-in reason of course).

Lastly if it is bothering the hubbies tell them to avoid her or leave if she is around. Yes that will distant them from this but she will keep at it. You can not control what she does but others can control what they do and the situation they are in. If you are and this friends are uncomfortable with it ask hubbies to not allow her to take a photo of them and not socialize with her out of the work enviorment.

Your husbands stay out of those situations like the bar, beach, etc...the trips do not require that they go to those types of events...they can't control her actions but they CAN control their actions! If they aren't on those situations they won't end up in those pictures on Facebook!

I was very insecure about my husband for awhile and while I am not sure if he ever cheated he has continued throughout our marriage to prove he is pretty solid but there are also always others who feed into our security. My husband has said that men could cheat with lots of people and it is true, there are a lot of women young and old (and I correct myself becaue I am not sure if there are really a lot or some) who have no respect for marriage. But they are not just found at worksites they can be found in the grocery store, at gas stations, on highways and in hospitals. The point is there is one young good looking girl at that job. But there are also lots of women everywhere. Look at this website, we are all beautiful and smoking hot!!! teehee You are suddenly worried after HOW LONG with this man? Doesn't sound like he ever did anything before this to unnerve you. I will now give my final thought: tell him you ever see his face on Facebook with a scantily clad young co-worker he will find his speedo laying facedown on the beach.

This makes me happy that my husband works in the middle of nowhere with all dirty bearded men!

I dont know what to say, A little self proclaimed hussie traveling with a group of men is bound to make any woman jealous. All you can do is trust your husband, and no, there is not reason he should have to visit with her.

You already some great responses and I hope the problem had been resolved. But, it is illegal to post pictures of someone online without their consent. So if the men in the pictures did not give their consent, you have grounds to bring charges against her.

There is NO REASON for a married man to be hanging at the bar, the beach, or "hanging out" at the hotel. Period, end of sentence. NONE.
My husband has to travel sometimes with work, and occasionally he will have A (meaning one) drink after the meeting or whatever, but it is A drink and in work attire (shirt and tie). "Scantily clad" is not work attire, not appropriate for an office and therefore she's probably off hours and out for attention and to party. That's not what we're about, and I wouldn't want him partying off hours with women if I wasn't invited to go too. They do go to restaurants, but it's usually a nice restaurant with dress code and something he can enjoy that we don't get to go to with the kids. He's won awards where we go to nice places (most recent was Naples, Fla where his work paid for us to get freebies like designer fragrances, sunglasses, spa days, golf, kayaking, airboating, a sunset cruise, very nice banquets, dancing, a great party the last night). The difference with all that is that it is for you to bring a date (ME). And though there were idiots that got drunk and jumped on stage with the band, or danced on speakers, they were just that. I didn't say anything about them, but was like "wow....we need a few more drinks to catch up" and my husband was like "No way---these idiots forget that even though it's a party, it's still work and the president of the company is over there. She's fine with having fun, but she'll remember who can be trusted and how decisions are handled by things like this". We danced, had a nice time, but then snuck out of the party for a few extra drinks and hit the beach to be alone...
All that said for this: your husband needs to recognize that taking a work trip is not taking a college roadtrip with no responsibilities or real life. It's still real life. He's still married with kids. Secondly, bosses are seeing what's going on, and managers don't count. Real bosses: would they be pleased and feel he is trustworthy to make important snap decisions, based on how he's acting on this trip? Third: are these coworkers, or friends? You don't party and play with coworkers like that. Coworkers are for work. Friends are people you'd bring to the family and let us all join in together. Would he feel uncomfortable with that girl wearing that outfit and going to the bar, to meet up with his wife and children?
I can't tell you what to do because it's not me......not my situation. But I will say this: I don't care---if I didn't feel my husband could be trusted to handle himself correctly, if he blurred the lines between friends and work, if he couldn't remember to handle himself professionally on a business trip and play hard with us on our vacations, then he would NOT be going on the business trips. Business should be for business, and play should be for vacations. They are separate.
That said, there are 2 guys from his work that we consider friends, where they come to our house for BBQ or pool parties, we go to their houses for pizza and fight night, birthday parties, etc. But those 2 men were really the only guys my husband thought were worth being friends with outside of work: good family men who had similar interests but also family values and wives that would kick their butts just like me. (ha).

WOW!, IT IS WHAT IT IS.. -TROUBLE! If it where my husband it would be on! Everyone has a jelouse streek---- For real? WHO dosent? But if you put in someones face theres always going to be trouble! Shes got really nothing to loose. But your husban dose,I would remind him that he would not be the specail one in her life,, As much as you think shes has confience SHE DONT, A women that needs that much attention usually has head problems.. Remind your husband not to be apart of her crazyness!!!! It will go down that way!!! You a smart women to take charge of this. As far as the facebook pics go ,that will be good evedence when she looses her mind the first time she gets rejected. Then those pics will be her playing cards,, CRAZY!!!!

First I'd say, don't freak out too much over this, if you believe your husband is not involved with her, then this is just a bunch of HOT AIR!

It would certainly be appropriate for your husband to ask her to stop posting pictures of him on her FB, and if she doesn't stop, to talk with his boss about it and the impact its having on the family. Also if she's being in appropriate/unprofessional while on these trips, that needs to stop and be mentioned to boss. But this is up to your husband to deal with.

She's a predator, and its satisfying to see that she's making an impact on your family, causing fear. Don't play into her game. Strengthen your family, that is the best defense to a home wrecker.

Best wishes!

Sounds like these married men are having their sin exposed. There's nothing you can do but warn your husband and tell him you'll be watching. ;-)