Toddler and New Baby

Hi,
I had a similar thing happen with my then 3 yrd old son and my newborn daughter...Whenever he started to scream we would ask him to go to the bottom of the stairs and do it, we were in a Tri Level so there was nothing at the bottom of the stairs, after a couple of times he stopped doing it! It was too much effort to go down the stairs and just scream at nothing! They just want to express themselves but soon stop when they realise you are "ok" with it!!
Good Luck!
S., Rockton, IL

Remind her that the baby doesn't know English yet. The crying is the baby's way of communicating a problem. Have her "teach" the baby new words to solve the problem ..... Are you hungry?, cold?, tired?, etc.

I also like some earlier advise. Ignore her fits, she's just fishing for attention in a babyish way.

Be patient mommy. There will be times when you want to scream and throw yourself around. Your daughter doesn't understand nearly as much as you. Enjoy every minute of the two of them; they grow soo quickly.

My son is a little bit older, but we have asked what the baby is trying to tell us and he will try to tell us. The other thing we will say is can you sing the baby a song. He will tell me the baby is crying- at least someone calls out the elephant in the room ;).

Hmm... if your daughter has always been sensitive to loud noises, she may have a sensory processing disorder. Loud noises might overwhelm and upset her more than other children. You may want to ask your pediatrician if this is a possibility. Until you can talk to him/her though, maybe you can block the noise out for your daughter a bit? If you have a headset, maybe she can listen to music when the baby cries, or let her watch TV while you take the baby to another room to see to his needs. Since your son is only 3 weeks, your daughter may just be adjusting to the newness of it still. Good luck!

I have a 2yr old son and a 1 month old. The first few weeks after he was born and he cried, my 2 yr old would get very upset too. Mostly out of concern and I would just tell him everything is okay and he would calm down. He just asks "baby ok?" now when the baby cries. They get used to it eventually.

Ignore her when she goes there. She's trying to get attention too. She'll get used to it, but it takes time. Just keep praising her when she helps and take at least an hour each day to focus only on her. It is also a good idea to have your hubby take the baby so you can take her out on a special "date" just girls once a week, or switch and have your hubby take her out so you get some alone time with the baby.

My daughters are 20 months apart, and my 2 year old cried a lot after the baby was born. It is a tough adjustment for the older sibling. Sounds like your daughter may just be sensitive to others feelings, and gets upset when the baby cries. My daughter's behavior improved after the first month or so. Now she cries sometimes when the baby goes down for a nap because she misses her! :) Hang in there; it gets easier for everyone.

You have probably received some good ideas. Ask your daughter what she thinks she could do when the baby cries to make it better. Listen to her. She might just come up with a good plan.

Could it be that she has "learned" this new attention-seeking behavior from her new baby brother??? ("Hmmmm...he cries...mom jumps....gotta try that!") After all, she was the Princess in the house until three weeks ago. I would feel her out....see if it's the noise that bothers her? (you can figure out how to creatively address that with her)...the baby's sadness? or it really is attention-seeking? Then put her to work...and see if you can try and recruit her help and make sure she knows how much you and her brother needs her. My kids were three years apart. To this day, I think my son gets confused and thinks he has two moms! Good luck!

Get her checked out for a sensory issue before you do anything.

Not to alarm you or put ideas in your head, but have you spoken to your ped about this. My brother's son would do the same thing and it turned out he has a very mild form of autism. He is considered highly functional but he does not like screaming/crying/loud noises.