Toddler Discipline - Royal Oak,MI

Don't accept his tantrums. Show him you mean business and start walking away to leave. Forget putting his shoes on. If he's going to play that game, he can get out to the car on his own, without shoes. Lesson learned.
I would also look into Supernanny anywhere on tv or maybe the internet. She has great techniques.
But don't put up with his screaming. "I am not going to talk to you unless you talk to me without screaming". And if there are privileges, threaten to and then take them away.

Dear Gina, Somehelpful books and a website that continue to inspire me as I learn daily how to discipline (in latin = teach) my child:

Dr Sears "The Discipline Book"
Dr Harvey Karp "The Happiest TOddler on the Block"
Elizabeth Pantley "No Cry Discipline"
www.ahaparenting.com -- Dr. Laura Markham

All the Best, Jilly

What i do with my son is try to give him choices. You can either put your shoes on and walk or i have to carry you. I have also finally gotten to the point where counting to three works. You have 3 seconds to pick up your toys or....... He knows i mean buisness. He knows im not going to give in and if he dont do it he gets a time out, or he goes straight to bed or no movie, etc. It took time to get to this point and i do a lot of counting during the day but it helps a lot. Also if we need to leave and he doesnt want because he is say playing with a ball. I tell him you can throw the ball 2 more times and then we have to go. That way he gets those last couple throws in. Then i ask him if he would like to pick out a movie when we get home or help me with something and that usually helps get him excited for when we get home. I just make sure i always stick to what i say and make sure he knows what is going on and try to give him as many choices as possible so it seems like he is getting to decide things and that makes him happier and makes things a lot easier for me. We still have our battles dont get me wrong but most of the time we dont have problem anymore. Good Luck!

Purchase the book "1-2-3 Magic" - all of the book stores carry it! Your library may also have it on video. It works wonderfully! My sister recommended it to me many years ago - a therapist recommended it to her with her son who had issues due to developmental delays.

Funny thing... I will still use it on my teens out of old habit and it still works!

Hint: your husband needs to be on board with the same discipline approach or else no discipline plan of action will work effectively.

He is clearly having a hard time with "transitions/change". He has no clue what 5 minutes means. You need to speak in his language... when that tv show is over or when we are done cleaning up the toys we just played with it is time to leave.
Ask him how he feels - "Does it make you feel sad to have to leave your friends house when you are having so much fun here?"
Wait and give him the chance to process his thoughts and allow him to speak.
Affirm his feelings - "I understand that you want to stay longer and that you don't want to leave."

Read books to him that talk about their feelings - great thing to do while feeding the baby! Try to find things to do together, with the baby too! Make the baby seem like she is fun to him, not some blob who just takes up his parents attention - take her hands and have her "wave" to him, "tickle" him, when you are playing a board game - have her hand help you move the pieces so it seems like she is playing too. She will definitely become more exciting to him in a couple of months. Make sure that you allow him to hold her - try laying next to her on your bed and watching his favorite tv show is a really great bonding experience they can do together - just prop her up next to him and you can put away laundry in the room at the same time!

Remember... this time of craziness shall pass! Give yourself and your son some grace here! He is only 2 years old... enjoy him and your newborn daughter! Thank God every day for your lovely family and their health!

My daughter is the same age and I do understand!! We try and give lots of choices, in addition to the "in 5 minutes...", etc. For instance, sometimes, especially if I can tell we're near a tantrum, I might say...Oh our 5 minutes is up, do you want to slide one more time or head straight to the car? This usually helps to deescalate the situation (not always, trust me, but most of the time it does help!) On the way to the car you can say things like, Do you want to hold my right hand or left hand? Should you get in first or should your sister get in first? Do you want to press the unlock button or do you want me to do it?...you get the idea. I do this all day long with most things. There are some non-negotiables as far as bed time, etc. but even then there are plenty of things with which to offer choices! Some days I feel like a crazy person with all the talking I do, but it WORKS! It makes them feel in control and that is what most toddlers are searching for out of life! ;) The key is to keep your cool and only offer them 2 choices that you are okay with...never offer a choice you don't want them to pick b/c they will always pick that one.

Have you watched Supernanny! She is great! Consistent, kind, fair and firm discipline always worked for me. The other thing I learned over the years (I have 3 grown daughters) is to say what you mean, stick to it and there is NO discussion. Throw in alot of patience and he will be fine. He is 2 1/2 and he has been dethroned by his little sister.
As for his shoes...if he won't cooperate when you try to put them on to go, pick him up, don't say a word to him and go. Sometimes actions speak louder than words, even with toddlers. This will pass. Good luck!

"parenting by the book" by John Rosemond......best parenting book EVER:)

I had to giggle a little bit when I read this. You just described my son!! He is almost 3 and has been this way for several months now. I keep waiting for this stage to be over. Since I've heard from so many people that it IS in fact just that--a stage. I use time outs. That usually helps if I catch him doing something he shouldn't. If it's a matter of him not listening, it doesn't help at all. I'm still searching for ways to work that one out... Good luck!! Just know that you are not alone.

Distraction is a wonderful thing.