Too Soon for Baby Gift?

Mommy:

This is a tough call. As someone who had a miscarriage at 22 weeks - the gifts that we received from 20 weeks on - were heart breaking to go through. I realize that will most likely not be the case for her, however, I would wait until she's closer to delivery.

That's MY personal take. You say you aren't close enough to be invited to a baby shower - then, in my book, closer to due date...

Sorry I don't have a better answer for you.

I would honestly wait until the birth announcements come out.

It's so sweet of you to be thinking of baby. :-)

It depends on how close you are to the momma. If it's a family member or a close friend give them to her now and just tell her I could not resist getting these for you can I couldn't wait to give them to you.

Just wait - chances are if it's their first, they won't have the books.

I'd aim for about 1 month before the due date. I'm also due in September and I am still fearful of miscarriage, for some reason.

Totally disagree on waiting until birth announcement. Try around 7 mo, which is about the stage most women have their baby showers. If you are not likely to be invited to a shower, then you are likely not on the mailing list for birth announcements either.

Not earlier than a month before the due date if you're not close enough to be invited to a shower. Prior to that, it could seem like you're overly excited.

I agree with Heidi. If you are super close to her, you can give her a gift at any time. She will be delighted. It is fun when someone is so excited.

I was given gifts throughout my pregnancy once I announced it.. I loved all of them.

Wait until she is at least 30-32 weeks, if you can make yourself wait that long :) I love buying baby gifts, I definitely know where you are coming from. I will confess to actually looking at a chart with viability statistics when I was pregnant and allowing myself to buy things at 30 weeks because the odds were excellent that a baby born at that gestational age would be fine. When nerd meets neurotic mom....

I agree that you shouldn't wait until the announcement comes out. A lot of people don't do that anyway, and if you aren't close enough to be invited to the showers, you won't get the announcement either.

It also depends on the tradition of the family. For example, some traditions don't have baby showers, and only give gifts after the baby is here. Others don't want gifts too early - they want to be sure the pregnancy is viable. In both cases, there's the concern about jinxing the pregnancy or about the expectant parents having to get rid of things when a baby or pregnancy doesn't survive. Others like to start sharing in the excitement as soon as the pregnancy is announced, or at least when the first trimester symptoms abate and both people are more focused on the fun of a pregnancy.

I doubt they will buy books themselves - most people don't do that, as they are thinking more about immediate infant supplies and "necessities" than things an older baby will need. It's unlikely they will return books although it sounds like you want to be "first" but have provided gift receipts in case you are not.

Are you more friendly with the husband and that's your connection? Are you giving the gift to him, or mailing it to the home? Is he talking about it a lot and so you want to acknowledge it with a gift? It sounds like you have some reasons you aren't going to share, which is fine, so I'd just say to evaluate them and the relationship, and go from there.

I guess, barring any traditions that should be considered, I would wait until the 6-7 month point, which will be ahead of the showers but well into the pregnancy. At that point, people are thinking "baby" instead of just "fat and sick" (!) and will be appreciative and getting excited about gifts, but you will still be ahead of the frenzy of gifts, which it sounds like you want to do.

We got some gifts coming in for our son within a week after we sent out his birth announcement.
If it's not their first they'll have some books already (though maybe not the same ones).
If it is their first you tend not to think about books for awhile - you're too overwhelmed with the whole new parent thing and books (beyond "What to Expect the First Year" you don't get around to till you are getting more sleep (in about 6 to 8 weeks).
Wait till Sept.

I'm with everyone who says 'wait a bit', preferably until this person is close to their due date.

For what it's worth, when I had doubles of things, it was great; I kept a box of them and passed them on to other friends. Don't worry about them needing to return the books. Remember, expectant and new parents get a lot of stuff they might not really need or use, and this is pretty much the norm. :)