Tough Question from 10 Year Old Son

I think most kids ask questions like that. Though death is not always an easy concept for a kid to handle I know there are some books out there (the names escape me right now, just go to barnes and noble or something like that and they can direct you to the section) that make it easy for a child to understand. My parents were blunt and told me the truth but I don't know if that works for every child. My daughter is only 2 so I haven't had that experience yet but hopefully I won't upset her when she does. good luck.

The only way I can answer that is from a religious point of view. I'm not sure if you are religious, but when I've gotten that question from my children, I always told them that I don't know the answer based on any facts that I could show them in a book and that it's a difficult question for most adults, too. (Of course, I used language appropriate for the age.) Then we'd talk about the question from our faith perspective.
Sometimes, though, you don't need to answer your child's questions with definitive answers. Just having a conversation about the subject can be what he's looking for. Why not ask him, "What do you think?" and then see where the conversation takes you.

my husband died when the kids were 2 and 3 years old - all kids start to ask death questions at one point - there are many books at the library and they talk about trees dying, pets, relatives, etc... and helps explain everything - ask him if there is a specific reason he is asking about death - does he know someone who died or a friends family??? the death of a parent needs counceling an greif support groups for everyone involved - it was the only thing that helped me understand what i needed to do for the kids - they were great. Hope this helps
Have a great weekend
T.
www.PottieStickers.com

After our daughter passed we had to deal with this question much younger, our girls were 3 when they asked.

We just told them that is the circle of life, we come into the world as babies and when it is our time we go to heaven whether we are old or still a young baby. Now as they have gotten older I have explained that most times this happens when we get old and our heart is tired or we can no longer fight a cold and it is time to rest and be healthy forever. But my girls ? why our baby died and I say that sometimes it happens to the young beacuse they are very sick or accidents can occur and they go early. But at a young age they desire to know where we go and I used heaven to say that when we go there we are no longer sick and we live a healthy happy new life. They then ask if we are alone and I say that all the people that we know will end up there so the ones there play and have fun with their friends that are already there.

It is such a hard question but I feel that honesty had made my children very understanding about life and death. They have a healthy knowledge of it. We try to give them enough info to answer their questions but not too much so they get confused. Just watch how he reacts to the info and if he presses for more give as much as you feel comfortable with. I feel it is better to prepare them than to leave them full of questions they might get answered by someone else in a way you don't approve.

Good luck.

You should count your blessings that it took him 10 years to ask you about death:) My 5yo became obsessed with death dying and graveyards at 4. You should also feel lucky that nobody close to you has died or else this would have come up much sooner.
My advice is to tell the truth. Everyone dies, everything dies and it is just a natural part of life like being born. Put it anyway you think your child will best respond but you must tell him the truth.

Good luck!

I've always taken my lead from "The Lion King" in using the "circle of life" to discuss death. It's simply a natural part of living. Sad, yes. But it's just a fact. Like a previous respondent, I also factor in our religious beliefs for eternal life.

my six year old asked me that question not to long ago, i asked him what he thought and i gave him anwsers based on that and i stayed age approiate and it seemed to work.

Hi S.,
If you're a Christian, then the answer is simple! We die because we go to heaven to see the Lord. There are also some books by both Maria Shriver and Katie Couric that were written for children about dying. Just some suggestions...
D.

Hi S.,
That's a good question. My 10 yr. old was talking about death the other day too. He was asking about embalming and dying. Now, some of it is due to some books he's reading (mysteries), but there seems to be a general curiosity about it lately. We lost one of my best friends to cancer recently and he went to the funeral but that was in the beginning of March. This seems a little out of the blue. Maybe it's a developmental thing? I asked him if they'd been talking about it at school and he said no. I wonder if one of their TV shows had an episode about it? Any way I think it's interesting that you bring it up. I'd be interested in knowing if others with 10 yr. olds have had similar discussions lately.
Good Luck!
L.