Transitioning to a Big-girl Bed -- Advice, Please!

Updated on July 30, 2010
E.D. asks from Lake Villa, IL
11 answers

Hi Moms,

I am in need of some serious advice! Our two year old daughter has started climbing (and sometimes falling!) out of her crib, so we've made the decision to switch to a big girl bed.

She is doing really well staying in her bed through the night, though we do have a little trouble with "going to sleep" at night (she's always wanting my husband or me to lay with her until she's asleep). However, the biggest problem is nap time -- or what once was nap time! We still have our same nap time routine...minus the nap! If I leave her in her room, she stays in her bed (usually) but distracts herself with books, the curtains, the blankets, or anything else that will keep her from sleeping. If I lay with her, she distracts herself with the same things or tries talking to me (even when I don't respond and pretend to be sleeping). She still displays signs of being very tired, so I'm pretty confident we're not ready to ditch the nap, esp. so young.

We also have a 5 month old baby, so that makes the situation a little more difficult. I'd sure appreciate anyone's advice for better ways to handle this transition. I'm holding on to my sanity only by a thread!!! :-)

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

Well, even if she isn't actually sleeping, it's great that she is getting quiet time. You might need to move up her bedtime as a result. It's not easy when you want a break, especially with the baby, but this will pass! Before you know it, they'll both be in school and you'll long for these days... but I know that's hard to see now :)

Good luck!

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M.D.

answers from Chicago on

I am like Sharon. His room is safe and all the toys are put away but he has a couple on his bed. He crys for 30 seconds during nap time but we put up black out curtians so it is nice and quiet so he just goes to sleep. I put him down at 8, with a bath, lotion rub down (baby massage!!) and kiss and night light. I hear him sometimes moving around but he still goes to sleep fine.

If you want to stay by her side maybe read her a book but her let her know you have to go after that and let her know she doesn't have to go to sleep but she has to stay in her bed. Give her a couple stuff animals to keep her busy and she will fall asleep.

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A.H.

answers from New York on

we started with the mattress on the floor first..to get them used to the big bed... and didnt use bars to keep her from falling. with the mattress on the floor... its easy if they fall off.. Try putting her for a nap a 1/2 hour later.. this should help.

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A.G.

answers from Amarillo on

I feel your pain. My daugther actually transitioned very well to her big girl bed with no problems. However, we had guests stay with us for a few days, including a 4 year old who slept downstairs. She wanted to sleep downstairs with him and for a month we couldn't get her to stay in bed for nap or bedtime. I tried laying in bed with her, sometimes for close to an hour. It rarely worked. Finally we started with the stern voice and waiting outside her room. Everytime she climbed out of bed and opened the door we told her to get back in bed, get comfortable and go to sleep. It took a while but now we're back on track.

S.P.

answers from Nashville on

My daughter went to her big girl bed when she was 1 1/2 and shes fixing to be 2 now. She did very good staying in her bed through the night and we kept a baby gate at her door so her door wont be closed and we can keep a better eye on her. At night once i tuck her in every now and then she will get up and play for a couple minutes but she will always get back to her bed when she goes to sleep and during nap time i put the baby gate up and put her in her bed and i play a movie for her usually dora or bob the builder and its on for about 20 - 30min. and usually when its about over or over she is already asleep. good luck:)

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J.W.

answers from Chicago on

My son transitioned to his big boy bed at 2 yrs, 3 months. We child-proofed the room so he couldn't get into anything dangerous, left a few toys in there for him to play with and put a lock on his door so he couldn't get out and wander the house at night by himself. We continued with our routine of reading books and laying down next to him while I stroked his head until he was drowsy. Then I told him it was nap/bed time and to go to sleep. The first few days were hard. One time he actually pulled the curtains down off of the window along with the curtain rod. On the days I really wanted him to take a nap, I layed down with him until he was asleep and then left his room. But after my daughter was born, I couldn't do that anymore, so I instituted "quiet time". I told him that he didn't have to go to sleep if he wasn't tired, but he had to stay in his room and play quietly for one hour. He was 2 yrs, 7 months. My son still has "quiet time" for one hour every day, 1 out of 5 times he will still fall asleep now at 3 yrs, 6 months. In the beginning we were very firm with him when we told him that it was nap time, and to stay in his bed and go to sleep. He knew we meant business. Sometimes, we had to go back in his room (especially the first week) if he wasn't napping, and then we were even more firm, and told him that if he didn't go to sleep, he wouldn't get any dessert for dinner or t.v. for the rest of the day (or whatever else we could think of that would be a "punishment" at the time). And on those days he didn't nap, he went to bed an hour earlier. Hang in there. It'll get better. Hope this helps. :)

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W.M.

answers from Chicago on

We had the same problem with my son, and I ended up letting him take naps in my bed. The deal was that if he got up he had to go back to his room, but if he'd stay there he could sleep in our bed for his nap. No one else was using the room at that time, and there weren't any toys to play with, but it was a treat and it really helped to keep him napping a little longer. He did give up naps before 3, but I think this gave us about 6 months more than we would have gotten- and he needed those naps! You'll have to find what works best for you. Good luck!

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

I was in the same situation as you about 4 months ago and believe me it does get better! Keep up the same nap time routine. She probably isn't ready to give up the nap so stick with it. Eventually she will know that you mean business and give up some of the distracting behaviors. My son eventually stopped the curtain pulling and running back and forth on the bed. There where days where I literally wanted to cry, but it does get better. Try to put her down after the baby is down for nap (this worked for me). My son is 2 1/2 and he still takes his nap. I do read him 2 books (we have had to limit this or it will go on forever), he turns out the lights and closes the door, and I lay with him until he falls asleep which usually takes about 15 minutes. If he won't lay down, I tell him that I am going to leave and stand outside the door; once I make a move for the door he begs me to stay and he lays down and takes a nap. Over the last 5 months, since our second son was born, things have improved greatly. Hang in there and continue to try to get her to take a nap. Sometimes it get worse before it gets better but hang in there.

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D.H.

answers from Indianapolis on

I think you might need to change nap time, or let her stay in her room and do her thing..........you might be surprised that if you are not in there, she may just fall asleep on her own...........if not, let it go..........get her "up" at the same time.....she might be alittle more grumpy, but you need to then tell her, you should have napped honey.........

Hang in there, and let her help with the baby.......that makes her feel more part of the baby, and maybe her nap time is really needing mommy time..........so let her get diapers, maybe pick out clothes for her brother, and do little things that only big sisters can do and get lots of praise from Mommy.

Hang in there and take care.

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S.D.

answers from Grand Rapids on

I can totally relate. my daughter is the same way. i know she does fall asleep, but she does play during nap time. I just leave her alone. I know she is safe, and if she needs anything she will scream for me. I would take out as many distractions as possible. we have no toys in the room. a few stuffed animals, and that's it. She will eventually start sleeping. one other thing i found helpful was to get the room DARK. I bought some black drapes at a garage sale, and hung those up. It's dark in her room at nap time, and that seems to have helped out.

My daughter also will talk to herself at night as well. She goes to bed at 8, and at times she is sleeping right away and other times i hear her talking to herself until about 9ish. But they will sleep.

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D.G.

answers from Chicago on

I have 4 children (all teenagers now) but none of them napped past the age of 2. At that age, at naptime, they would quietly lay and if they fell asleep at all, it would be towards the time to get up and then they would not go down at night until 10. (It seems that no matter what around 5-6pm was a "witching hour" where they would be more needy---right when you were trying to get dinner!) But once we were through that moment, they had thier second wind and we had a pleasant dinner, bath, bedtime routine. (Where they usually went done around 7-7:30pm) All children are different and I found mine just did not need that much sleep. Mine were close in age, when my last was born, I had a 5 year old, twins that were three and an newborn. I also had home daycare, so while the others were napping, it became our special time for reading, puzzles, some quiet time for just us. Good luck finding the right balance for your family.

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