Trouble with 4 Year Old Taking a Rest Time

I had one of my children just not nap or rest at that age, and if they ust want to be around you or someone, what about letting thme read or color in the same room you are working in, or if they don't get too tired before bed time, just don't worry about it and realize they just are past that stage.

A.,
I have a 4 year old who takes a rest time. I use a timer as well. I actually let her pick the numbers for the timer. If I think she needs to be in her room for 30 minutes then I'll tell her : "You can pick the first number, do you want a 2, 3, or 4?" Then I'll let her pick the second, third, and fourth number. She really likes to do that.
Maybe giving her some control over the numbers will make her more apt to stay in her room.
Also, maybe you could keep a tub of toys that are just rest time toys. That way she doesn't get to play with them normally - only during rest. It might keep her more interested in them during that time!
Hope that helps :)
D.

I don't know of any 4 year olds that take a rest time willingly. The key is to just stick to your guns and be consistent...my son has learned that there really isn't much point in arguing about it because it is going to happen anyways. I would also suggest trying to keep rest time on the weekends...it may be confusing to her that sometimes she has to lay down and others she doesn't....of course, there are always exceptions. Good luck

Hang in there! Consistancy is everything with this age. I have a 4yr old son and I also do the same thing because I not only need a break, but I think he needs some down time as well. I use a kitchen timer and set it for 1hr and if by chance I hear he has gone to sleep (which sometimes happens) I will go in and remove the timer so it doesnt wake him, otherwise he knows when the timer goea off rest time is over. I use the timer for everything bath time, before bed etc etc and he NEVER challenges me. He knows the timer went off and it is time to do whatever that task is we set the timer for. In fact, alot of times he will ask me to "set the timmer mommy" it is great thing to use! Good luck!!

Good for you to keep a rest time. I did the same things with my kids when they were that age. A trick I found worked was having a digital clock in their rooms. My daughter had to say in bed until 2:00 - I just put an index card over the minute portion and but a 2 on the card (like the clock makes a 2) and told her that when they matched, she could come out. Before that, she was out every few mintues asking if it was time to get up. If it doesn't fall on an hour (like you want her there until 2:30), you can do the same thing, it just might be a bit harder for her to get b/c if it's 2:35 or 2:40 when she looks at the clock, she may not get that she can still come out. Of course, by then, you can go get her out. good luck!

I agree that consistency is your greatest key. Small children do not know the difference between a weekday or weekend day, they just know if I get by without it today I will do everything I can to get by without it tomorrow. I love the idea of rest time toys also. My only other advice is when mom says something will be done, it's not a choice it's a "have to". I still tell this to my 9 yr old son. He understands that sometimes mom gives choices and sometimes I give "have to's" which require no thought or discussion, just a yes maam or okay mom.

You are going to probably have to come to terms with the fact that she is getting older and that the days of rest time are history! My oldest son stopped napping and having rest time at 18 months. I have learned to explain to him that mommy has time when she needs to "work" - ie, laundry, house cleaning, phone calls, etc. - and during that time he needs to play independently. It took some getting used to as I had always been his playmate, but he is great at it now and will come to me sometimes now to ask to play by himself in his room. She needs to understand that you have other responsibilities and she needs to find ways to entertain herself. It takes some time, but they do get used to it.

My girls are almost 5 (in Oct) and almost 3 1/2 and they both have rest time EVERY day - weekends included. Only on rare occasion do they skip it ~its not only for them, as a SAHM - its for me too! The 3 yr old has recently learned to open her door despite her handle cover and we just finished a week of returning her to her room NUMEROUS times b/c she could get out herself, but the new-ness of that has worn off. I just kept telling her that its a house rule - rest everyday. She doesn't have to lay down, sleep - but she has to play quietly in her room until I come get her. A few days a week she still falls asleep. Her sister rarely falls out, but she went through the same phase and learned its just part of our day.
I like the idea of "resttime toys"...
good luck!

My daughter is the same age as yours (Sept bday too!) and she dropped her full naps about the same time. Rest time in the afternoon has always been slightly difficult, but I decided that it was really me who needed the rest - like your dd, mine prefers my company to her own...

I decided to make it a 'treat time' where she can pick a video she likes and watch it quietly in the family room. I then get time to sit and relax in our front den (same floor of the house), or catch up on whatever I've dvr'd on the tv. I usually give her a tray of favourite snacks to munch on and she's happy as a clam. Comes in to see me once in a while, but generally gives me somewhere between 40 mins to 1.5 hours of rest. Half of the time, when I check on her, she's not even watching the tv - she's playing with her toys or books in the family room with the tv as background noise.

I let my son watch a movie for his rest time.

I used to teach preschool before becoming a SAHM when my younger son turned 3. Here is what worked for me:

I agree that consistancy is the key. If you do not have enough time for rest time on the weekends, make it shorter. But, by all means, have one (even if it is only 20 or 30 minutes).

When you put her down for the rest time, set a timer. Tell her you are setting it; let her watch you set it. Put it where she can hear it, but put it outside of her room. Tell her that when she hears the timer she can get up. If you feel she needs more time on any given day for any reason (even if YOU just need more time), you can reset the timer because it is out of her sight.

I used a timer with both of my boys and even sometimes in the classroom. It is a WONDERFUL tool for kids to learn that things they do not WANT to do (but NEED to do) don't last forever. It can be used for a lot of things, too (time out, meal time, nap, taking turns, etc).

I hope it helps. :o)

Blessings,

P. <><

I had this same issue with my son (exact same age, to the month). I created a "Chores Chart" for him. It has 7 pictures for each chore. For nap I got a clip art of a kid sleeping on a couch, and on a separate page is a picture of a reward he's going to get if he follows through (our first one was going to the zoo, so I had clip art pics of zoo animals. Start with a big reward, then go to little things like ice cream and stuff). We went to Half Price Books and got a bunch of Thomas the Tank Engine reward stickers (that's what he picked out) and then I explained that if he could take a nap, he would get to put a sticker on one of the pictures. Once all the pictures had a sticker, he would get to go to the zoo. We talked about it a lot, not just once a day. He told his grandparents about it, and the more we talked about it, the more excited he got. He LOVED the chores chart, and it worked like a dream. I change the chart up every week based on whatever we're working on (cleaning up, brushing teeth, etc.). I only had to have naptime on there for three weeks. Let me know if you want me to email the document to you. Good luck!

Well, my children are older but one thing that might help..as long as you are comfortable with this. Let her play in a bubble bath. When my son (he is 8 and a special needs child) get to much for me i ask him if he wants to play in the bath tub.. he then asks "bubbles?" gives me time by myself to relax and he gets to get out some energy in the bathtub. Of course I always go and check on him if i cant hear him...loves a bath so makes lots of noise. hope this helps

I usually let my daughter watch a movie during her rest time.

I would stay firm w/ the rest or "quiet" time w/ your child. Children at that age need a nap or quiet time. It helps w/ emotional regulation throughout the day and stress relief if you can believe a 4 year old can have stress! Take into account that when your child gets to kindergarden that she will be required to participate in quiet time there also. Doing it now will be good practice. What we do w/ our 5 y.o is he goes to quiet time in his room. There is a digital clock in there and we say when the clock says- 1:00 then quiet time is over. The clock gives him control and boundaries. You would be amazed at how often a good nap comes into play! I would have quiet time also on the weekends for consistency. Your child is like I don't do this on the weekends why should I during the week? Once you are 100% consistent and she knows you will not bend she will begin to self entertain( which is a great life skill and promotes independence)and maybe even nap. We have found our child actually seems to enjoy quiet time. Good luck!

I am just in awe that you have rest time. by the time my kids were 18mths old they stopped naps and rest all together. OF course, they were in bed by 5 and up by 7 the next morning. The only way we ever rested was if we had a friend over and they needed time apart to rest and be nice. You might try the way I still get my kids to bed (ages 14,11,9). I ask them if they want me to be the good and fun mom or the mean and cranky mom. When given this choice they always want the nice, fun, can we go swimming mom. Good luck!!! (my 14 yr old still is in bed by 8:30.......He gets to read till 9:30.....I get the alone time I need)

Routine is very important make quite time around the same time every day.Also something that worked for me is doing something simple but fun everyday after quite time like going outside or coloring a picture.Now if your child doesnt do quite time she doesnt get to do the fun thing but if she does then she does get to.That seemed to work for me. good luck just be patient and consisten and she will get it soon