Troubled Two Year Old

I'd say have your husband invite her over and sit down the three of you and talk about it. She needs to hear it from him, too. I'd also suggest finding someone else to watch your daughter while you're out so that your mother-in-law gets the picture. I had to do that with mine.

Does Grandma treat your sister-in-law's kids the same? Is there a reason she's saying your daughter is spoiled? From the sounds of it, both of them are out of line (I may be way off base here, but it perturbs me when people attack someone else's parenting without all the details). Does your sister-in-law know about Grandma over-stepping her bounds? There may just be a lack of communication/understanding between the family.

Lastly, if Grandma is purposely causing jealousy issues for the grandkids, that's not a healthy relationship, and she needs to stop. The kids will grow up resenting their cousins, and that's not what family is about. Have a chat with her about this, and if she doesn't change her behavior, find another means of childcare.

On to your daughter. My son did the same thing. When I asked his doctor, she said he was testing me to see how much it would take for me to say I didn't love him anymore. Two year olds push the limits to see what they are. It confuses them, sometimes, when they find out love is boundless. When my son would throw fits I'd just tell him "even though you don't like me, I still love you" or "it's ok if you don't want to share that toy, but if you want to play with me later, I'll be over here". Sometimes it would take him an hour, sometimes only a minute, and he'd be in my lap playing again. He just needed to know where he stood, I guess.

Good luck on this. Issues with the in-laws are always tough ones. Hang in there, and let us know how it goes. :)

It sounds to me like the actions of our sister-in-law favoring neices and nephews may have made things worse. any other child who says things to a 2year old are going to be repeated. I have children that are 2, 6, 8. My two year old does repeat my older children, her key phrase is " Chill Out, Mommy!" She also tells our dog to Shut up!. Great right? Anyway, she must have heard it or sensed it from somewhere.... Even at 2 that can sense negativity, she just has the words to express it. Good luck!

Do not let you mother in law watch her any more. Try to find a teen or college student to watch her. Not sure how often you need a sitter or if it's just to go out once in a while but if it's causing problems & she is not treating her right, why put you & your daughter through that. It's not fair to your little one to be treated that way now that your MIL is having a problem with her behavior that she seemed to create.
What does your husband say about all this? Have him talk to her seeing it's his mother. Don't let him make it out to be something that YOU are unhappy with. He has to let her know that the BOTH of you are unhappy with the situation.

Good Luck!

I also have a two year old (boy) who likes to do those same things sometimes. He basically a super kid, but like most two year olds, he can be a terror. When he says mean things or acts out, I give him time outs (1-2 minutes) and then get down on his level and tell him why he was put there. I've also taken to praising the other people in the house when they act appropriately (Daddy is a great one for this). I'll say "Daddy, you're doing such a great job sitting nice at the table for supper". My hubby will smile and say thanks, and pretty soon, my son is modeling his behavior so he too can receive praise. I also give a lot of praise when he's being good so that he knows I'm happy with his behavior. Best of luck, two year olds are special! :)