Trying to Have One More Child---help

Updated on March 09, 2007
J.D. asks from Shirley, NY
11 answers

I lost 4 children and had two precious baby boys. Now I am with my fiance and we would like to have a child together. Problem is I haven't gotten a period in 3 months, dr says I am not going through changes. He wants me to see a fertility dr, but my insurance doesn't cover it and I can't afford it. Can anyone give me any advice???

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So What Happened?

Well, first of all I would like to thank everyone for the support and advice. My OB called this evening and told me my hormone levels are "menopausal". He is still concerned however because they were fine in June. He is doing a sonogram on Friday and wants me to see an endocrinologist. I will let you know what happens. I am so sad that I may never have another child, but he also said sometimes at my age it can reverse. He says he had a patient with my scenario and she ended up pregnant. So, keep your fingers crossed PLEASE....

Hi Again...I finally got two regular cycles right on time so this month I am charting ovulation and really trying to conceive. So wish me luck and hopefully I will have news soon...

More Answers

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E.B.

answers from New York on

Read the book "What your doctor may not tell you about premenopause" by Dr. John Lee - PRE menopause actually goes from our late 20s up until PERImenopause, which is th time right before menopause. Premenopause is basically hormonal maturity and it involves shifts in hormones depending on stress levels, nutrition, lifestyle (smoking, lack of sleep, exercise, etc). It has answers to many symptoms of hormonal imbalance, including not ovulating or not having periods. I think you'll find your answer there as far as what the next step should be to restore your fertility and be able to carry another child.

Best of luck!

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J.B.

answers from Syracuse on

Your fertility and period problems are probably due to your stress level. You need to find a destresser. Try excersising or just walks alone or with your fiance, to have mellow talks. Get a playdate set up to occupy your kids or a sitter. Good luck also it helps if you get healthy, if youre overweight or you eat too much junk food or not enough water that can hinder your periods aswell. I would guess it has to do with your stress level.

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D.R.

answers from New York on

hi J., i think you got a lot of good advice here, i just wanted to throw in my 2 cents and say that, the toni weschler book is great, we conceived simply by following the advice on her website. also, i would definitely check further into the insurance issue, get someone from your gyn's office who will take the time to really look into it for you and find ways around it if there are any, very often they tell you "no" right off the bat, hoping you wont look into it further. and i also just wanted to mention that in addition to the other things the ladies said, being too thin can also keep you from getting your period.
and aside from the fertility issue, you really do need to find out why you arent getting it, make sure it isnt something else. take care of your health, nobody is going to do it for you. be pushy if you need to, speak to supervisors. be polite, but firm, and take names and keep organized, dated, specific records. i found that each time i took a step "down" in terms of the quality of my health insurance, i had to be that much more assertive in getting myself the proper care. best of luck to you, D.

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S.R.

answers from Utica on

When you say your "Dr." said you should see a specialist, did you mean your family practitioner, or your OBGYN? If you are concerned that your OBGYN visit won't be covered, because your questions are fertility related, you should make the appointments based on the irregularity of your periods, that should be covered, even by Medicaid. And labs to test your hormones and other levels should be covered. Remember that even though there was alot of good advice posted about pre-menopause on this topic, it is possible that you could be showing symptoms of various other conditions, and should be concerned about your health overall, as well as fertility.

http://www.webmd.com/infertility-and-reproduction/guide/s...

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M.L.

answers from New York on

Send him to a fertility doctor. And while he's there, make sure that you want this other baby too. Men sometimes feel insecure with other people's children around, when they haven't made one with you. And we as women are always accommodating to their feelings/wants/needs.

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L.S.

answers from Burlington on

Hi J.,

I second Jessica D's recommendation: "Taking Charge of Your Fertility" by Toni Weschler is a wonderful book about fertility. You may be able to find it at your local library. It contains lots of specific, helpful information that can be used to help conceive OR prevent conception! Here is a link to it:

http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_ss_b/104-###-###-####-###-...

Good luck to you!

:) L.

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L.G.

answers from Buffalo on

Hi J.~ I would call the fertility doctor that your doctor has recommended and consult with them in regards to your insurance. I am pretty sure that legislation changed the laws in regards to fertility testing and insurance covers testing up to diagnosis and inutero insemination. I see that you live in new york and that is what i am basing this on. It is worth looking into. I went through fertility testing during this time (when the laws were changing) and my insurance wouldn't cover ivf, but did cover everything else. Obviously I don't know what type of insurance you have, but it is worth a phone call.

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A.I.

answers from New York on

HI J., I went thru a similar situation. I do know that if GHI (Health Insurance) is available to you or your fiance that it does cover Fertility Specialists. Back when I had to inquire they covered up to three invitro or $10,000. It doesn't seem like much but when you have no other options and really want to have another child, it can put a dent in the financial part of infertility. I hope that this helps you, good luck and God bless

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S.C.

answers from Utica on

Has your doctor checked your hormone levels? It definitely sounds hormone related to me. And even though your doctor says you're not going through menopause, you could very well be PRE-menopausal. My mom was at your age. She was actually all done and post menopausal in her 40's. So it definitely can happen to younger women. I would do some research on premenopause and see if you have any of the other symptoms. Good luck!

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J.D.

answers from New York on

J.,

Take a look for a book called Taking Charge of Your Fertility. It's very helpful, and may help you to figure out what is going on with your body. If you are not getting your period and your OB/GYN can't figure out why, you may need tosee someone who specializes in fertility. This isn't as tough as you think. There are a lot of OBs who work with these issues, but aren't Reproductive Endocrinologists. Those are the docs that do the real fancy stuff. If you ask your doc for a recommendation to an OB in your network who works with this issue, he may surprise you and have an idea.

Jess

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L.S.

answers from New York on

I think for now your ob gyn can do things that arent necessarily infertility defined to get your periods regular so that your insruance will cover. I had 13 years of infertility myself and remember the ups and downs of that journey very well. I know treatment for me began by the gyn and was covered as i moved on to harder techniques it wasnt always covered.....
just a suggestion there are things the gyn can prescribe like clomid to help with ovulation to bring on the periods.
HOPE this helps!
hugs!
fr1endly2

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