Turns 3 Next Month and Doesn't like to Learn from Mom...

My son, now 7, is the same way. He's great at school but not interested in doing anything at home. What works for us is the m & m game. I would give him one m $ m, or skittle, or other small candy, for every letter of the alphabet he could identify, another if he could tell me the sound of that letter, and another if he could tell me a word that began with that letter. We have been using this game for years adapting for his level. I used it for my daughter too and it worked great. If you don't want to use candy, try pennies, stickers, or something else he really likes.

I wonder why you aren't planning on preschool for him. If he learns better around others, he'll certainly do better with his peers. All children are individuals. My three each have a specialness that is all their own and each one of them took to learning in different ways. Some children like to see it before they can do it, while others learn from hands on touch for learning (tactile. At home make learning fun, not a chore or him having to do the act, let it just happen naturally. Sounds like you have a "smarty" and your only just beginning. Take some steps back and start again with only fun type learning. Get silly and relax. Your gift of a child has a long road ahead and it can be a joyful experience if mom and dad can approach it with fun and playfulness. Good luck and be the blessing for this child. It will change you in ways that you never thought possible and that is truly the gift.

Hello S.,

I think that you and your son are doing fine under the circumstances (you with baby on the way, and your little man at home with mom).

It is apparent that your son is learning from you based on your statement that he will pick stuff up very fast with someone else. He appears to show what he has learned when other people are around which in normal behavior for all of us.

I think finding or creating a group of mothers with children around his age range will create an environment were he can show himself and his family what he has learned in his tiny little life. We are social animals, and play is vital to learning for little people and adults as well. Providing him with opportunities to play with people his own age will enhance his learning.

I hope that my input was helpful to you. I wish you and your growing family the best.

I agree with everyone else that kids need interaction with other kids. Preschool does help them get ready for Kindergarten. My 3 1/2 year old loves preschool and it helps him to learn to interact with other kids. If any of you are in the San Diego area my son is in a free program through the Adult Continuting ED. Contact me for more info. AS for you S. if your husband is in the Military that should have programs for the kids.

Hi S.! I responded to Robyn M with the following advice when she asked about her son and writing...see if you can find her original request, and you'll find a lot of advice...I want to urge you to stop teaching your son and play with him instead! If you really want him to be exposed to letters and #'s get puzzles and books...best of luck! N.

As an early childhood educator and former reading specialist, I would urge you and ALL moms to cease 'teaching' letters and letter sounds to your children under 5. Instead, I would be reading many and varied books, including ABC books to your children. You should first foster a love of reading and literature with your children by enjoying books together, listening to children's music, singing songs, reciting nursery rhymes....etc.. A desire to read and write will naturally emerge....Please stop teaching and begin playing with literacy. Have Fun!
N.
p.s. utilize your library, thrift stores and garage sales

Dear S.,

Think of a high pitched scream! yes, that is the way I feel when I hear about parents wanting to teach ABCs and 123s so early. Young children need friends and experiences outside the home - home is good too - but the preschool experience is perfect for their needs and stage of development.

Do not worry he will learn that stuff, but not now. Preschool gives them experience with listening and respecting and feeling confidence in a person called a teacher. It gives them friends that they just love and gives them the time to practice how to cooperate with them and in a school setting, as well as being comfortable and feeling safe in a school . Yes, that is the beginning of life and learning in school.

Please believe me. I know what I am talking about, listen to the other mommies, they will back me up. ....mostly, of course someone will have a different idea because of many things, one of them GERMS.

C. N.

You need to meet some other mothers in your area! They are great sources of support and information on services (i.e. preschools) in your area. Try searching Yahoo! Groups, Mamasource, Cafe Mom, Mothering.com, iVillage.com, Babycenter.com, or any other site you like that has parenting forums to find local moms, or call your local hospital and ask if they have mothers' support group or similar program.

I am not a child development expert but it sounds to me like your son could benefit from more stimulation, either in playgroups or preschool. This would be a good break for you, too, esp. with another baby on the way.

Maybe there are preschools that provide transportation, which would solve your car issue, or maybe you can find a center that has drop-in hours, so you could use it whenever worked for you.

Good luck!

Why are academics so important right now? He's 3 years old, developmentally, children process academics differently. More important than being able to "recite" ABC's and 123's, (which is all they are really doing at this age, anyway), manipulative and creative play can be incredibly rewarding for you and your son. My 2nd daughter and I attended a co-operative preschool when she was 3. No academics, just socialization w/peers, ( which is more than enough to try to master at 3!)gardening, cooking, imaginative play, dolls, blocks, dirt, bubbles, ice, food coloring, water, and paint. It is amazing how much, they, and you can get out of sitting on the sidewalk with a bucket of water and some paintbrushes! Or a mortar and pestle and some lavender,sage, nutmeg, etc. They love to smash the herbs to release the scent. At least my daughter did! The boys in class loved the trains and wooden blocks and of course dirt! Nothing better than a sandbox, shovels, buckets and a garden hose for learning cause and affect and even engineering! Having had 1 child go through the elementary school system already, and another in kindergarten, I can honestly say that the time we spent in the "non-academic" preschool has taught my 6 year things that my 12 year old, who went to the highly academic Carden School ( I thought it was "better"),is still trying to master. Simply put,children learn valuable lessons through creative play. Sharing, empathy, teamwork, responsibility, the list goes on. Our children are pushed beyond belief once they enter the school system. Kindergarteners are required to read a list of 40 sight words and write their numbers to 30 WITHOUT flipping them backwards, (which by the way is COMPLETELY normal!) and to recognize a title page, author, spine and illustrator on a book, BEFORE passing on to 1st grade, where homework can take up to an hour and a half of their time, at 6 YEARS old! They will forced into the competitive,stressful world soon enough, don't they deserve a chance to just play? Something to think about.

My son is the same way. It may be easiest to teach him the same way they would in a preschool: songs and games and books. If he learns the alphabet from a cd you play over and over, or the sounds from a matching game, or colors because you point out the color of every car you see driving down the road-guess what, he is learning from you and he'll remember your efforts and love you more than any preschool teacher he ever had. It will also give you quality together.
My son learned about Women's Rights and Sufferage because we watched Mary Poppins together and he loved the song about the sufferagettes. We talked and he learned. Then you get to watch the people's face in the grocery store when your 3 year old tells them what he knows-that's priceless.

Dear S.,
3 year olds can be frustrating. Try using some reverse psychology - this has worked for me many times. Say something like "I don't want to hear those ABC's, I know you don't know them.." and I guarantee your son will start doing it for you. My son is 5 and it still works most of the time.

Also, I would recommend some preschool - if only 2 days a week. In order to be ready for Kindergarten, your son will have to go to Pre-K classes when he is 4 and starting now will help to better prepare him. It also gives you some free time during the day - especially with a new baby on the way. Also he will be very excited to show you what he learned in school.

Good luck.

L.

All I can say is choose your battles. If this is the only thing you are having issues with, you are so lucky. Just be a mommie. You and him are going to go through a lot of changes with the new baby that you do not need to worry about him as you say it "not learn from you". Everyday he is learning from you and just because one thing does not work, as I said before choose your battles. I agree with the mommie and me classes. It will be good before the baby comes.

good luck

Hi S.,
Hi S.,

My advice - give yourself a break. My kids were the same way. I wouldn't worry about teaching your son to learn to read at only 3 years of age. When he's ready to learn he will be interested in it. That's been my experience anyway. My son started pre-school when he was 4 and now he's coloring and cutting and counting numbers and all that.

I do wonder why he has no interaction with children his own age though. Don't you take him to the park? No play-dates? No wonder you say you need as much patience as possible! I don't think I could have made it through my children's early childhood without play dates - lots and lots of play-dates. There are all sorts of great places to take children here in LA. If you live near West Hollywood I can give you some good things to do around here.

H.

Sounds like there has been a lot of change going on lately moving, new baby all huge. I wouldn't worry too much about the "teaching" right now but find things that he is interested in that you can do together maybe you could set up play dates with other children too that could help. you could start at the local park or church. I understand with the whole car thing we're a single car family as well with a three year old daughter and two year old son. My daughter really had a hard time when her brother was born but it showed mostly in her eating habits. May the Lord bless you and your family and give you all the strength and wisdom you need.

It's true that all children learn at their own pace, and at 3 I wouldn't worry too much about the academic side of things. However, I do think that it's equally important to focus on socialization, play and academics.

My son is nearly 2.5 and he's been reciting the alphabet to me since he was 18 mos old. He also knows the sounds every letter makes and is starting to sound out basic 3 letter words. And, he counts to 50. He did learn most of this from me. None of it was active teaching though - at least not until recently. It was mostly done through play. He absolutely adores puzzles and his favorites happen to the alphabet and numbers puzzles. I simply made up various songs to go along. He also loves me to sing (don't ask why because I'm tone deaf!) so I make up songs often. Couple that with reading and he really picks up on things. I'll just ask benign questions while reading and he'll answer or he won't. Either way is ok.

And, I'm also a SAHM and am debating whether or not to send him to preschool and when. I'll probably send him sometime after he turns 3 for 2-3 mornings per week. However, I absolutely do not agree that preschool is essential. I do however feel strongly that socialization is critical and that children this age need to be among their peers. It's so important for you to find places where he can interact with other children. I realize you're new to the area and that transportation is an issue. However on the days you do have the car you really should go to the park, libarary and other places where you can meet other moms and kids your son's age. Since my son was an infant we've been going to music class and gym class. We're also part of a weekly playgroup. Add lots of park visits to that and he is around children plenty. Even with that though I feel the need for him to be with children more regularly, which is why I'm considering preschool at all. For us I don't feel we need it academically, but we do need it socially.

In addition to the MOMs club that was mentioned, you can also check on meetup.com to see if there are any playgroups in your area. Check with your local Y to see if there is anything that interests you there. And, how about story time at the local library? Most kids enjoy story time and then you and he can choose books to take home and read together. There really is a lot available if you take some time to explore.

Good luck.

Hi! I had one like that and we had wonderful church that had a day care where she could interact with children her own age and that is so impotent. Most children do better learning from a another peer even when they get older but what I did was get a plastic with big letters on it and we would play "learning our letters" by putting the plastic on the floor and jumping to the letter that we spun on a alphabet spinner, also I love to bake and would let her touch the flour, sugar,doe ect. and count spoons of cookie doe as we placed them on the cookie sheet, I know its tough but thinking up little games even at that age worked for us.God bless.

I did have kind of the same problem with my oldest son when he was that age. I ended up finding a "Mothers Morning Out" program for him to attend one day a week. He went on Friday mornings for about 5 hours and he loved it! It gave him the chance to see an adult other than me as an authority figure. I am not sure about your husband's schedule, but my husband worked all the time back then. It was almost like my son saw me as his play toy and not as his bosser. He also had very little interaction with kids his age because we had just moved to a new state and didn't know anyone with kids his age. The day out gave him a chance to interact with other kids in a structured environment. Within two weeks of starting the program he was a different child! I had also started SuperNanny techniques with him at about the same time though, so that may have been a contributing factor. But still, he seemed to take me more seriously after starting the "school." I am not sure where you are located, but usually Mother's Morning Out programs are ran through local churches in your area. If you cannot find one then maybe you can find a CDC- with a school program that will allow you hourly care for just one day. It really does help your son to learn from other kids too and it gives you a morning to get done with whatever you need getting done!

I disagree w/ carolyn, SORRY.. I believe that you teach your babies anything at any age. My son's 3 too and he knows his ABC's and 1-20's..hehe.. And it's not like your forcing them to do it. If they don't want to then don't force them, the harder you pull in, the harder they pull away. Just encourage him. Believe me, my son's at that stage right now! He's just trying to be independent. He knows, you know that he can do all these things. But, he wants to show other people what he can do too! A lot of love is all it takes! When he sings abc's just let him go,and when he finishes, praise him. "good job", "wow! you're such a big boy". Then later, when he isn't do anything and you want him to sing w/ you, try singing first, then dad/sister/brother/aunt, etc. If he says don't sing (my son does all the time, he's the only one that can sing.. so he says) say you're singing w/ brother/sister/dad, etc.
*happy tunes M.E.

I think your note said it all: "He has no interaction with children of his own age." Kids learn from other children - not just the basics, but what is appropriate on a social level. I think you are doing your son an injustice if you do not make a concerted effort to enroll him in a pre-school. If it's physically difficult to do so, set up your own "pre-school" with other mothers in the area. When your son is able to connect with other children, he won't find his time with you so oppressive (and I mean that kindly). He needs a breather - and I'll bet you do too!

Dear S.,

Try not to worry about this - you'd be surprised how much he is picking up from you just during everyday interactions. Just continue to read to him and play with him. We had foam bath blocks that stuck to the side of the tub when wet - the kids could make pictures on the side of the tub with them during their baths. I was shocked to find that they were helping my kids to learn colors and numbers as we played and talked about them - I wasn't even TRYING to use them as a teaching tool.

By the way - none of my kids ever went to pre-school, other than the seven years I spent once-a-week in Mommy and Me, from when my oldest was 2 1/2 and my middle was 10 months, until my baby started kindergarten - I loved this class, it was birth to five, so I could bring all my kids, where other classes were age-specific. I also liked the fact that while me kids weren't in pre-school, this helped them to get used to the school day schedule they would have in kindergarten (especially helpful for my son!) If you are interested in a Mommy and Me, call school districts and ask for "parent education."

Don't stress!
Good luck!
B.

he definately needs interaction with other kids his own age

someone in the neightbourhood has one close to the same age? the park?

trade time with someone and let them teach him, while you teach the other kids

make it a game and don't for one minute think that because he doesn't respond to you that he isn't learning

are you reading to him? singing the kid songs? no programs on tv or in the car to distract him?

just because he doesn't answer doesn't mean he can't you

It's pretty common for kids to learn better from people other than their parents. But why aren't you planning on having him go to pre-school? Even part-time for 2-3 days a week would give him some interaction w/kids and some instruction from a different adult. There is a preschool in Redondo Beach called Smart Start. It is in a house, run by a husband/wife team and they are fully accredited and run a complete program. They are absolutely AWESOME! Don't know where you live, but if you are at all in the vicinity, you might want to call and check them out. It might give you the break (and patience) you are looking for :)

S.,

Just wanted to let you know that my son didn't go to preschool but for a few months when he was 2 1//2 and he is still excelling in Kindergarten. At first it took him a while to get used to so many kids but after a bit of adjustment he has been fine.

I tried to used some wonderful preschool learning manuals that he did a bit but would not do as much as the little friends he had in our Mom's group. I finally turned it into something that he had to earn and all of a sudden he was excited to do it once in a while.

The main thing I did was point times of learning throughout the day. ie: look at all those people over there, Mommy wants to count them, and then count out loud (hopefully no one else is around you to hear) Look at all the clouds- can we find any animals in them? Put in a cd of abc songs or sing the ABC's while doing a chore, like the dishes. Basically surround him with learning and he will pick it up. Baking is also a good one, pointing out the numbers and measurements on the box, saying the number as you are pointing it out. He doesn't need to list info. back to you in order to be learning. Start looking at EVERYTHING in your day and recognize the learning aspect that you can point out to your son.

I agree, joining a mom's group will be great for all of you if you have one in your area.

When the new baby is born have him count her toes and fingers with you. Have him help you make up a silly song about them.
So many put such significance on book learning that their children are burnt out before they even get into Kindergarten. Enjoy this time with your children and remember that there can be learning everywhere you want it to be. Point out and take the time to examine the wonder in the world around you and watch him be surprised when he learns something new.

Hope this helps,

Evelyn

I would HIGHLY recommend preschool! I think people put so much influence on the academics when raising their children they forget about the other equally important dynamic-social skills!! My husband and I know that our kids now 9 & 7 will receive a quality education and have 13 long years to complete it. It is one thing to be book smart and another to function successfully on a social level. Think back to your jr high/high school days-there was always that ultimate book worm but at the same time an extreme introvert-which can make for painful adolescent years! Both my kids went to prechool and it was an awesome experience. My son in particular made a couple lasting friendships and it gave him so much confidence in entering kindergarten and meeting new friends! He was not worried about knowing his ABC's or counting to 10-he could care less about that. Allowing your child to attend preschool will provide him with the fundamental tools of facing new social tasks...you will have a very happy and well adjusted kindergartner especially if you go the prescool route. Not to mention you will have some alone time with your new baby girl that she so deserves-just like her brother did! Good Luck!

Hi S.,
I have heard from MANY friends that their older child has behavioral changes or problems right before a new baby is born. It's instinctual and they are feeling changes coming on. I'm not saying that he is having a problem from not wanting to say the abc's and 123's with you at all actually. At 3 they are becoming VERY independant, want to do everything themselves including saying their abc's and 123's with whomever they darn well want to. Haaha!
I would sign him up for a Parent/Toddler Class so that there is interaction with you as well as other children, parents and a teacher. I know having a little one on the way might get in the way of this but MAYBE daddy or a grandparent or good friend, aunt, cousin, etc. could take him. I'm not sure where you are from but Huntington Beach, CA has MANY options. Classes through the Parks and Rec. and through the junior colleges are always a TERRIFIC resource. Look into the local library storytimes as well as local indoor and outdoor malls for their Kids Klub showtimes. These are all wonderful weekly opportunities to get out of the house for you to have some interaction with other adults and for him to interact with other children. Mark your calendar and when your new baby is here, delegate others to either help by going with you OR taking your son for you. Let me know if I can suggest some places in your area. GOOD LUCK! :)
~R.

He definitely needs to start socializing with children his own age. If you are against a short preschool program a few days a week, I would suggest you get into a MOMS club. This will help him learn to interact with other children & adults & you could even begin a little preschool co-op where you & the other moms take turns leading a group lesson on subjects that he would otherwise be exposed to in preschool like letters, numbers, colors, shapes, science, dramatic play, art, cooking, music, etc. You can google preschool curriculum ideas to help you get started. And visit http://momsclub.org/ to find or start a club in your area.

C. : )

I live on Maui - send me a note and I will let you know all of the great kid-things they have in Hawaii (there are a lot of them, but they are not obvious...you need to kind of know where to look).

My daughter, now 6, has a bit of an attitude with learning things from me as well. She will not respond when I ask her questions about a topic that we have just discussed (As simple as what color is the apple) but SHE IS LEARNING... I sent her to preschool part time at 3 1/2 and it was so painful I almost pulled her out. The preschool teachers assured me that she was happy and playful all day without me. The second year of preschool she absolutely flourished. Preschool was THE BEST THING that I could have done for her. I can not believe the change that this bit of independence gave to her. I took her with me to visit schools before sending her to one and I chose the school where she felt most comfortable (a couple of places she just clung to my leg, but the best one, she ran and played with the kids and talked to the teachers without holding my hand). He may be a bit young now to go to preschool. With my second, I probably will just send her when she is four for one year prior to kindergarten. In the meantime, I know it is hard with a new one coming, but you really need to give him opportunities to interact with other kids. Good luck!!

he IS learning from you! just not performing for you...
if you really want him to verbalize what he knows, try different media. for example if you always use books, try flash cards. my son loves those.
i put a bunch out on the floor in front of him and ask where's the square, where's the yellow crayon etc.
will you be homeschooling? maybe there are some homeschool groups in your area that would allow him to get together with other kids, and you with other parents!

we also do a lot of counting outside. one neighbor has logs in front of his yard and we count those every time we walk past.

My daughter LOVES pre-school. She especially loves that her 2 year old brother can't go because he isn't "big enough". With a baby on the way you will enjoy the few hours pre-school provides you with the baby and your son will enjoy the social time and feeling like a "big boy". Its worth considering.

There are many different pre-schools, different from day care. There are groups that meet at churches, parks and then there are adult education programs like mommy and me through the YMCA or city funded programs. There is Head Start through the state in many citites. But I recommend a parent participation nursery school. You can find a listing for your city but since I have personal knowledge of Manhattan Beach Nursery School I can highly recommend that you call and visit their facility: ###-###-####. They run a half day session 9:00 a.m. to noon five days a week but you can attend as little or as much as they have room for. It has been in existance for over fifty years in a residentual neighborhood of Manhattan Beach. There are over fifty families and the parent support is the best! The adult to child ratio is 3 to 0ne and the parents have a board that works with the staff (all of whom were once parents at the school). You will also have the benefit of support from the other parents with all kinds of parenting issues, and ongoing education for both parents on all sorts of topics. Its a caring and nuturing environment where your child will learn to connect with children and adults, alike. I am a grandmother of three that attended as well as my older four children. It was always home away from home for our family. I still have a connection to many of the people, one connection is a woman's support group we started 25 years ago and we still meet weekly at the school site.

Try some tapes (sing and clap along) I started my son off very early with baby einstein tapes and sesame street and barney tapes he picked up on it really quick also i lived on the 3rd floor in my apartment building and suffered from Carpal Tunnel Syndrome from Pregnancy so he had to learn to climb those stairs quick we would count the stairs as we walked up and then i started showing him the numbers on the doors and he would say them out loud this is at the age of 1 and he really enjoyed impressing not only me and dad but anyone who would listen then at the age of 2 he started read words and memorize all of the Basketball players names on any team you ask him and then he started naming the cars we would see in traffic or in the parking lots they are sponges dont give up make it fun for him he will catch on especially when you get excited for him. Brandon is 4 and will be going to kindergarten in March as soon as he turns 5 and i know he is ready just put in a little work and see what happens. Good Luck to you.

Hi my name is B...I live in southern Calif. I'm a mommy to my 11month old baby girl Eryn...My 21/2year old twin boys Justin & Ryan...As well as my 31/2year old son Cole! So here's the deal...I have the same problems (relatively speaking) I have just put all of mine into a Christian preschool just 3 days a week...Monday, Wednesday, Fridays...So My husband drops the boys off at 8:15 a.m. on his way to the office and I pick them all up at 12:30 p.m...I just started this and it is the best thing you could ever do! My boys have a reason to eat their dinner, take their bath, brush their teeth, and get everything ready..you know let them participate, because they are so excited "what big boys' I have" At first though it may break your heart...it has and sometimes still does to see them freak out literally because you are "leaving me"...I have particular difficulties with my 3 & half year old he seems to have more issues with separation anxiety..but the teachers say they comfort him and he realizes it is okay, mommy will be back...he is learning and all these things I'm telling you are things to think about for YOU and for YOUR SON in YOUR SITUATION! If he goes even just 2 days a week..he will be gone to give you a break but you are comforted in knowing he gets to play and to do activities all the while he is in constant interaction with other children. It can be something special because he is going to be the big brother...once he starts and gets over being left he'll enjoy the weekly routine of things..it builds social skills...and help him in becoming his own little person..it's like shifting his behavior problems in a constructive and very positive way. Also, with the new baby coming this couple of hours he is gone whether it 2 days or up to 5 days you'll have special time for nursing and caring for your new baby...this too can shift the likely hood of jealousy (for the most part)...I hope this helps you and write me back if you'd like to, my e-mail address is ____@____.com The best way to go about this idea if you and your husband choose to put him in preschool is to make it a cool, exciting and very special thing for him...oh and by the way some preschools do take children even if not potty trained (but at least working on it) because my boys are not potty trained but for and extra $1 per child a day they help the children with potty training (isn't that so great) The last thing I wanted to say is that as a mom of multiple children...well children in general act different when they are with their parents around even with other peopl...what I am saying is that based on your child's need for showing and learning independence preschool is smarter than sticking strictly to mommy and me classes...those are better or the babies and up 2 or so..I think at your son's age I personally have found that we get lots of play dates invites and we too have play dates at our house and all these kids birthday parties..so their is so many opportunities in that regard to you having other parents to talk to and you get to participate that way with others. It's important I believe for a child to have that preschool time for a couple hours a few times a week where they are away from mom and dad. That makes kindergarten not so stressful or cause separation anxiety or to be not very socialized with other children..school is scary enough when your little tiny! Alright I hope this helps take care and I hope to hear back from you! Good Luck :o)
B.

I REALLY wouldn't worry about him "learning" from you... you may not see it, but he learns from you every day. He is learning how to treat people when he sees you interact with others, he is learning social manners when you eat dinner together, he is learning how to talk and listen just by playing games with you and reading books together. There is no rule that says children should know their ABC song by age four or they'll never succeed in life. Remember, to young children saying their ABCs or counting is just like saying another rhyme or song, it doesn't actually have academic value. Preschool should be about social and emotional learning, so if you find one that stresses academics it's probably not worth your money anyway! If you are reading daily, having friendly conversations with your son, and letting him have lots of free time to explore in the yard (pick grass, jump in the mud, poke at bugs, lay down and look up at the trees...) then he is learning way more than you think. School should not be a worry until it's time for public school, or maybe a couple of mornings a week when he turns four. Just try to enjoy him and spend time relaxing with him while he's little, soon he'll be in school all day and you'll be bogged down with homework in the evenings... then you'll feel like all he does is spend time "learning"!

This is not a direct answer to your problem, but just a little advice. I've had the opportunity to observe my son and his wife around their 3 boys lately and I saw that they seem to be unaware that their children listen, REALLY listen to all that their parents are saying about them. I would advise you to be very careful what you discuss within hearing of your son. If he is listening to you complain about your feeling that you are unable to teach him anything - I'll just bet that you are teaching him a lot right there! I don't think they analyze why they want to annoy you or compete with you for power, but that's what it ends up being - an out and out power play. Why does he not have interaction with other children his own age? Do you realize how very important that really is? Do whatever you have to, but start introducing him to other children to play and learn with. You want him to socialize for all the reasons that are going to help him deal with other people throughout his life, but it will also make him much easier for you and your husband to deal with him. If he really has not done much socializing before, he will need to be closely supervised unitl he learns the skills of playing fair, resolving conflicts with others, sharing, etc.

You probably teach him much more than you are aware of, but if the way you are trying to teach him at this time doesn't seem successful, you need to change your approach. For example, if you want him to sit down and memorize his ABC's and he's not interested, try developing a game where you and your husband use colorful flash cards with bright pictures (especially funny or cartoon pictures) and don't emphasize the learning - emphasize the game/fun! In fact, emphasize it to the point where it doesn't seem so important that your son play the game because you and your husband are having so much fun playing it anyway! There are many educational games available that really do make learning fun. You do want to be certain that you don't set him up for a lifetime attitude that learning is painful and boring.

I really do think that you would be surprised to find how many of your concerns he is aware of from listening to your conversations though so I would start by keeping adult conversations private and away from children's ears. It also helps to define that you are the parent and he is the child - that never has to come across in a bullying sort of way, but it's a reality and responsibility for each party. Since he is learning from others right now, maybe you need to just back off a bit and remember that the really important part of parenting is loving and enjoying every second with your child. Believe me, this time is going to pass way too fast and it will never return to you. When it is gone, it is gone.

God bless & keep you and yours!

Hi there, congrats on the new baby. 1st of all I am sure that your 3 year old might be acting up because the baby will be here soon. This is typical. Also children get bored just with Mommy and Daddy. I teach parenting/preschool and Mommy and me classes and I told myself that I would never send my child to preschool that he gets enough from me. As a baby he loved crafts and ed time but when he hit around 3 he wanted nothing to do with it. I think he was bored. Children need to socialize with other people especially other childern. That is the big part of preschool. Have you tried a Moms group that offers an educational playgroup? There are several websites that you can join or you can even post one yourself! How about a small in home preschool? They are alot more affordable then the big schools and offer more 1 on one. Try going to the library the offer alot of free classes. Your child might just be going through a phase so dont give up! I was there a few years ago. :) Good luck! :)

I am a Mom of a 7 year old boy, I teach parenting classes, education parent participation classes and preschool.