Verbal Sexual Harassment

I think you were right to report it. This guy's conduct will likely chase away other volunteers, which will harm the whole homeless community.

However, I agree with the other volunteer to a slight extent too. You are dealing with a mentally ill population. Some of them will say inappropriate things. So you should report it -- yes -- but I also recommend not taking it too seriously and just taking it in stride. It's highly unlikely this guy will ever seek revenge or anything -- he probably just doesn't have an internal "filter" for inappropriate comments.

I worked with developmentally delayed teenagers for years. The guys had the hormones of any other teenage boy, but they had the reasoning capacity of preschoolers. So, wildly inappropriate comments, every single minute. By my third day on the job, I had completely tuned out the fact that these remarks were directed to me. The important thing is, they came from a harmless person, so that made the words harmless too.

In other words, report, but also relax. And keep volunteering! It's wonderful that you're doing this.

There are a lot of homeless that are mentally unstable.
It's good you reported it.
If it happens again, tell him he can't be talking to you about stuff like that and report him again.
The girl who thinks it's funny is more annoying and she's incorrect.
Sexually hungry doesn't enter into it.
If he can't behave appropriately he'll be arrested.

Maybe an arrest is what he is looking for.
I heard of a homeless guy who was arrested for throwing a brick through a businesses window.
It was fall, and the judge gave him 3 months.
So the homeless guy calls the judge a rotten SOB and the judge says 'contempt of court - 6 months'.
And then the homeless guy says "Thank you".
He needed 6 months to get him through the winter with a roof over his head.

First of all he is not going to revenge on you. He is probably used to being told he can't say things like that.

What you need to understand is we have a crappy mental health system here. A good portion of homeless people are homeless because they are mentally ill. That is why your supervisor told you to report, it is a good thing to know who is what as best they can.

Anyway the comments meant very little, he probably doesn't even remember who you are. Don't be surprised if he makes the same comments again.

After reading your what happened: She is probably used to it and realizes no harm will come from it. Still just because she is used to it doesn't mean it shouldn't be reported. I think sometimes we laugh when something is strange but it is what it is.

you are allowed to dress how you want and groom yourself. these are people. i don't think you should have to curb yourself to visit/help them. no, i wouldn't wear a prom dress and be glammed out, but you shouldn't have to try so hard to be unattractive. i'm sure you are quite attractive! it's on them not you.

having said that, it was inappropriate. maybe he has mental issues or was trying to be funny. even still, he has no right to say those kinds of things and you SHOULD have told someone - and he SHOULD have been reprimanded. you did the right thing. STAND UP FOR YOURSELF.

Wash your hair, Mom. Wear what you want. Ignore this stupid "girl" who told you that it is okay and that you are fussy. She's ridiculous.

It IS sexual harrassment for a man who is not your husband to tell you that he likes your breasts. Something is WRONG with a man who talks like that. You did the absolutely correct thing telling on him to your supervisor. If you don't, he'll keep doing it to other women, and likely try to touch them too.

No, you did not overact. He probably did it to you BECAUSE you are quiet. He thinks you are an easy mark. Since you told on him, now he knows that he better not mess with you. If he tries to hurt you in some way, he already has a mark against him and he could lose his job. Stand up to him and make sure he knows that you won't put up with his harassment.

Dawn

It is important that there is a record of this kind of behavior. If he knows he's on the radar and if people record his behaviors, it may prevent further bad behavior and help them help him. Plus, if God forbid, he hurt anyone, there would be a record of past behaviors.

The girl who thinks it's no big deal is naive and setting herself up for trouble, in my opinion.

Why would you listen to this girl over the advice of the supervisor, who has experience and knows these clients better than you do or she does? There clearly is a policy in place to keep volunteers safe, so always report these things. It concerns me that you are second-guessing yourself and wondering if you over-reacted. You did not. Be firm in your determination to report such things every tiime -- if not for your own safety, for the safety of other or future volunteers. You do not have constant interactions with the homeless clients and will not necessarily know if one has a history of mental illness, or a long pattern of such comments, or other issues that could make such comments part of a bigger and scarier picture. Mostly these things will be utterly harmless but you do not know that, so report as your supervisor said, every time. Why also are you worried about "revenge" from this man? If you truly feel threatened by him after this you MUST tell the supervisor. If you feel (or actually have been) threatened you cannot let it go.

I agree with Jo below about the mental health system.

I used to volunteer in a soup kitchen in a very bad area when I was a teen and most were so sweet and would walk us to the bus and so on and some were like how you described at 14 one asked M. to marry him, andothers would make comments. Anyway,most of the men that were homeless I interacted with were mentally unstable, most were war vets. I agree its best to have notations on which people are more unstable, this way if they have other occurances they have a history
He won't revenge on you...theyre not going to do anything other than tell him watch his mouth and maybe warn him

If his comments made you feel unsafe and violated, then you have every right to report this. Each person views comments differently from different people.

My Dad is a shameless and harmless flirt. He's kind and caring and a bit of a goon with ladies, but he knows that certain women you don't comment on their new blouse no matter what and others you can come right out and tell them their "knockers look great in that top!" My Dad's also been confronted by a third party before for simply hugging a female co-worker.

The gentleman may just be crass and rude and didn't really mean anything by his comments, but if they were made to YOU and made YOU feel threatened, then report.

As for your personal safety..buy a small pepper spray and keep it in your pocket/purse ONLY use it if someone lays a hand on you.

PS: The "knockers" comment was made in private to a family friend of over 20 years and the group had a few beers in them.

Rudeness, social awkwardness, or being a jerk doesn't always equate to sexual harassment. Many, many people that are homeless are mentally ill or have neurological disorders. They've been on the street for years unmedicated. That can affect their choice of words when all he really meant was, "Hello young lady, I hope you don't mind but I simply had to tell you that seeing you this morning was like a vision of the sun. You're so lovely in spite of your attempts to downplay your attractiveness by refusing to bathe and wearing ugly glasses."

Anyway. You didn't share HOW he said these things to you, only that he said them, but whether you were justified or not in reporting him is a moot point since your supervisor told you to report incidents such as what happened. Your coworker may not have reported something like that, but that's her.

If you have continued anxiety about this, talk to your supervisor.

You did the right thing! Do NOT encourage him - he might act on it! The other girl was wrong. Keep reporting him if he keeps doing it. Good job!!