Would You File a Complaint

Absolutely agree with what T.F. said! The woman that reported the boss needs to....ahem....put on her big girl panties and go talk to him face to face why that statement offended her.
HTH,
A.

This is why I didn't last in management. When you are trying to motivate people to do their job, you start to try to talk informal so they will like you. Usually it backfires. I had someone report me because I referred to a group of women as girls. I sounds like they want him fired because he actually wants them to do their job.

It may not be professional, but geez louise, FIRE the guy because of one comment? Way overboard. It may offend me for the moment, but no I would not file a complaint unless this were example #7 of why he's worthy of firing.

Maybe the guy could make a public apology. Have a fun light-hearted company party so these ladies can see that he's a husband and father (if indeed that's true) and maybe they'll lighten up.

I wouldn't be offended... reprimanded for bursting out laughing maybe, but not offended ;)

Why? Because *I* have my big girl panties on ;)

Appropriate -- no

Professional -- no

Bad enough to be reported -- no

Someone just got po'd and they want to "get him". Typical passive-aggressive behavior on the part of the offendee.

I hope HR does not turn this into something bigger and the person who reported him needs to put on her big girl panties and not hide behind HR for her actions which are not appropriate.

The APPROPRIATE thing to have done would have been to communicate with this person and let them know that remarks like that are not appreciated and not professional.

So he was reported for using an unpopular saying?

Would grow up be better?

Haha! Oh, if things like this offended me...I would never leave the house!!

I actually HAVE been sexually harassed and harassed in general, by a man in the workplace. I would never even think about reporting this. There is a difference between being unprofessional, and harassing or offending enough to report. This situation really called for the lady (or someone else) speaking up and saying it's not professional or appreciated. Reporting?? I wonder how she can even hold a conversation without getting offended!! He probably should have just said do your job, or grow up. Then again, she probably would have reported that.

Big girl panties, indeed. What's ironic, is that's exactly what she should have done...and SPEAK UP. She was not a victim here.

Never in a million years would I file a complaint over this. It sounds like big girl panties are needed as well as stopping the whining.

**Your post sounds different than it did in the original form, thanks for the additional information. He wasn't taking a survey of who wears thongs, who goes commando....it's not sexual. It's actually meant to act like an adult. Yikes, I can only imagine the whining. How sad that he is the best boss and a couple of whiners are given that much control. Possibly a small company?

I work for a humongous global laboratory but we are adult enough to say it like it is among colleagues (not clients).

I've heard women say it, I've heard men say it....I think it's stupid and demeaning who ever says it. It's equal to saying something like, "Grow a pair!" Still, one has to consider the consequences of what falls out of the mouth before the brain is fully engaged.

That has got to be the most obnoxious phrase (along with hot mess) that anyone says. Yes, it's offensive for someone in management to say that to staff. I wouldn't report it, but I'd certainly say something to him.

Someone asked what you CAN say to staff. You tell them to do their jobs. If they don't they are written up. If they don't comply, they are terminated. There is nothing more annoying than managers who can't manage.

I wouldn't have filed a complaint over something so innocuous nor would I have found it offensive in the least. I'm shocked that you dressed him down for it. The person/people out of line are those who can't handle a strong, good boss and would complain formally over something so trivial.

I find those sayings offensive and if my boss or a co-worker used them consistently, yes, I'd report them.

At the very least the remarks are unprofessional. In my view they are also reportable because they are causing an uncomfortable work environment and are sexist in nature.

As a retired police officer supervisor, I can tell you, that I would tell anyone using these phrases that I would report them if they continued. They would not have been accepted by any supervisor in our office.

No....there are so many other things that are far more worthy to be offended about in the workplace...loss/decrease in benefits....the bonuses this year.....you get the picture.

I don't like that phrase and it isn't particularly professional...but not a big deal either.

I know you have so many replies but heres mine. I don't like this saying and wouldn't appreciate it, but at the same time I wouldn't get that up set to write someone up. If he were crude and said crude things as a habit or said this in a tone that was demeaning I'd take more offense and think he should be written up. But if it's as you said, it sounds riduculous and like some people have a stick up their you know what. Sounds like some people are just hateful and if they are they have no idea what they're actually asking for themselves in life. What goes around comes around.

Ugh, it's JUST a phrase. It means, "grow up" Really, people get worked up over the STUPIEST things. I'm sorry you have such as dysfunctional workplace. So have him issue an apology that his choice of phrase offended someone. and he can reiterate his point by more simply stating "Please stop whining and do your job."

There are only two men in our office. They've heard much worse from us. Apparently the guy in your office was right.

He got written up, which is understandable (but even a little too harsh) because yes it was inappropriate... but I don't find it offensive. Though I have heard much worse from bosses. I think it's insane they want to fire him b/c of a stupid comment, especially since he otherwise has a great track record. In reality, it sounds like he was right, these women DO need to put on their big girl panties and stop whining.

Yes, it's offensive. I think he needs to think with his head before he speaks instead of thinking with his d**k. In other words, keep your mind off my "panties," dude.

Personally I wouldn't file a complaint over it (sounds like your office has bigger issues -- namely, folks gunning for a reason to get rid of this particular boss) but I do despise the phrase. It's been used to death and to me sounds juvenile. It doesn't belong in a workplace. As someone else said, I can see a group of women using it among themselves casually (still would hate it as a phrase) but I'd think a boss using it was trying too hard to be cute or cool and ended up sounding simply dumb. It's trendy junk that professionals in the workplace shouldn't need to say to get the message across.

Dang girl, we use that one at work - guess we all need to fire each other at my office. LOL

I think if he was written up, and is trying to be more professional then the subject needs to be dropped. If his overall performance is above par then this one comment should not torpedo his career.

Maybe suggest a leadership course for him, or a book on the topic, to help him out.

But, yes, they need to grow up.

It wouldn't bother me.

He probably should have said "big girl pants" instead. I don't see it as a big deal at all.

Seriously? Geesh, what a bunch of wuses (or however you spell the plural for wus). Thank God he wasn't speaking to a bunch of men...then they would actually have something to be offended by.

Totally inappropriate in the workplace. If I was this man's manager, I'd want to know he was using phrases like this and take action.

If a person, man or woman, resorts to insults in an attempt to get better performance out of a team of employees, they need to have their management responsibilities removed...

They would hate one of the supervisors that recently retired that my husband worked with. She was a hoot and most people loved working with and for her. But she had a pair of bright pink boxers mounted on a base with a small pole on it to hold the boxers up like a flag. If anyone was caught whining, acting immature or just generally being an idiot she would hand it to them and tell them to put their big girl/boy panties on and get to work.

He's right, but the comment just brought out more of the whining he is trying to get rid of.
If he offends everyone, then he's not discriminating.
A bosses function is to get a particular job accomplished and he doesn't have to be loved by his subordinates for it just as long as HIS superiors are happy - that's what counts.
Here's professional for you.
Job performance evaluations - they can be annual, quarterly, bi-monthly if he wants.
He comes up with KRAs (Key Result Areas) and employees sign off on them (they know what they must do to succeed, the time frame for doing it, and what feed back is required).
Then he measures performance and success/failure.
The resulting numbers are used to determine who gets raises/bonuses and if the failures are spectacular enough, the poor performers get fired.
Sometimes the only way to improve morale is to fire all the unhappy workers, but firing everybody makes him look ineffective.
Getting rid of a few bad apples will make his reputation without breaking it.
If he sticks with 'professional', he protects himself and he's armed to remove ineffective employees by being able to prove they are not doing what is required of them.

If this guy is the best boss the place has ever had, and he makes inappropriate (and possibly sexist) comments, then that makes a sad statement about the workplace. He was talking down to employees, as if they were children. I would have reported him too.

The only thing offensive about it is the word 'panties'. That is one of my least favourite words in the English language. I can't explain my irrational hate for it!

Put on your big girl undies, knickers, bloomers, pants. Anything but panties!

I wouldn't complain about it, in fact I always think it's quite motivational. Frankly, I might use it at work on Monday to the ladies in my organisation who need to stop whining and do their jobs.

that phrase was very funny at first but has become so, so old.
yes, it's inappropriate to use in a business setting.
but really not THAT big a deal, unless it was used very aggressively and belligerently while being directed at one particular woman.
no, i would not file a complaint. i would make my displeasure clear, courteously and professionally, and expect that would be the end of it.
way too much drama.
khairete
S.

I would not be bothered by it but I can imagine some would. I would hopefully be able to tell him some better phrases to use. If he is found to have been offensive he'll likely have to do some sort of class or something. He must be very embarrassed.

Glad to see you made it through the storms last night. They were storms on crack here last night. The ones that went over the north part of OKC then on towards Stillwater with tornadoes dropping went right over my daughters apartment. Some of her pictures fell off the walls from the intense rain and thunder claps.

Well, none of us were there, so we have no idea HOW he said it. Jokingly, I wouldn't have been offended. Actually, I probably wouldn't have been offended even if he was being serious, but I would think it was pretty unprofessional.

I think it also depends on if the group he was talking to was a bunch of lazy whiners. He probably just should have just approached the problem people separately & not lumped everyone in the bunched panty group.

Have you or anyone else told this person you do not like this phrase?

If not, I think you need to tell him, you do not think it is appropriate. That you also are fed up with the whining and suggest he should learn to say, "we all need to be professional. If you have a complaint, write it down and send it in. We will then discuss your concerns."

The more professional any leadership is, the more professional the other employees will behave.

Show respect and you will receive respect.

Until he has been informed you do not like his words, there is not point in reporting it.. The first thing they will ask is, "Have you spoken with him?".

While it would not bother me it is not very professional. If I was his boss I would be concerned that his actions might result in a lawsuit for harrasment and gender discrimination. As some one very smart said to me once. Even if your point is valid the moment you slip into anger and yell the focus leaves the issue and refocuses on your behavior. A good supervisor would not even go there.

Unprofessional and low-rent to be sure.
Would I report it?
No--unless this particular man has a habit of saying inappropriate things and this was the "last straw".
From what you've described, someone (or a few) are gunning for him. He need to cross his t's and dot his i's and walk the line--for his own sake. Hopefully, he realizes that!
Most of us have probably heard inappropriate comments at work. Most of us can also probably discern the nasty from the oblivious. When I was younger I worked pretty closely with an older (near retirement age) gent who liked to say "Hon," "Babydoll," etc. to women. He wasn't a lech -- just a nice guy from another era....there's a difference in that regard.
My boss had a CEO once make a comment to her (publicly) that probably could have cost him his job. She didn't even report that--she was SO flabbergasted I don't think it even "sunk in" til waaaaay later.

Just wondering if there's more to the story--like why do the few people want the wonderful boss fired? I'm guessing someone would only report it if there was a problem already. Could be his problem, could be theirs--just wondering.

Is he your DH? You sound pretty close. ;-)

If the woman was offended, it was because he hit a nerve and she was embarrassed by being called out on it (even if it wasn't 'directed' at her).

Inappropriate, sure, but it wouldn't have bothered me. In fact, I would be the one shouting, Hey, I've got my big girl panties on so I know you're not talking about me! But then again, I actually LIKED my boss. It doesn't sound like this woman does.

I don't know how offensive it was if he said it to a group of woman, however, certainly won't earn him the boss of the year award. It is unprofessional.

Would he like it if his female supervisor said it to him? It might be funny, but it also might be embarrassing.

When I worked with a bunch of men, one of them said pretty soon I would no longer be wearing my panties. I was totally offended and told on him. He only had to come in to the office and apologize to me and that was fine. He wasn't written up, but then I was excused and asked to shut the door. My problem with that, was I had never entered any type of personal conversation with this person, so I didn't understand why he felt so at ease to enter into my personal business.

Anyway, a lot of people use the term put on your big girl panties, but it is a bit rude.

In today's world you just can't say that and if he is over a group of women it is very condescending to the role women play in the workplace. If you want people to be on your side you have to kind of repeat what they said so everyone feels like you heard them. And then nicely say what you need to. For example: I do understand that you feel......( what ever they are complaining about).......but as a team we have to work together and do what has to be done. Does anyone have any positive ideas on how to do this? It really does matter how things are said. Good Luck. I am like some other readers though and wonder if he is so great why a few want him gone knowing the replacement would be worse.

To say put on your big girl panties no big deal but to be told, that I cant do my job bc of a lack of balls or hinting that a man can do a better job I would get a bit pissed at that. I once had a boss tell me I would never be a part of the "boys club" so get used to it. All the male managers and all the owners were all on a dart team and softball league I was the only female manager and was never invited and the funny thing is there were other females on the leagues. I lost all respect for this boss after he said that. Never filed a complaint though but stopped offering to do jobs for this guy, I figured the others managers could do it, and yes it did interfer with there dart nights after I stopped offering to help out. hehe I think he got the point.

if it was a group of us just chatting and complaining (as women do) and a woman said it (sounds like something i'd say lol) i think it would be ok. i would only say it if i was comfortable with the group i said it to...i do think it's a tad inappropriate in a staff meeting environment, from a male, who is the supervisor. even though the sentiment was probably most valid! lol. it would depend on their relationship with the women. most men i would not be comfortable hearing that from, but that's just me. unless i already disliked him for some other reason, i doubt i'd complain about it though. if the comment he made was verbatim what you put, it's less about being degrading (for me)- more about being patronizing. it's not really a professional statement at all. so yes, if that was his goal, he missed.

He is DEAD wrong! I would not have perhaps had him written up after once saying this (repeated times with someone TELLING him NOT to repeat it) I would have said something directly to him. That's just me it doesn't mean that the person who reported him was wrong, they definately had the right to do so.

Why would you consider the women whom he said this to, 'whiney, lazy, vindictive'? It WAS a slur to the women, you are a woman, it should have offended you to some degree.

If he doesn't repeat his performance then there should not be a reason for his dismissal, however if he so chooses to continue to demean the women he works with then he SHOULD be dismissed or transferred to another department with all men co-workers or, as an even better idea to a department where a female is his direct supervisor.

Sorry to disagree with you but this isn't the 1950's we as women have had a long hard battle to get where we are in the work force!