Weaning 2 Year Old

My daughter is just 11 months old and I haven't weaned her yet. One month to go before I do that, but once you do, only offer milk as a beverage for awhile, just keep offering it. Some kids like it better with ice cubes jingling around in the cup. That is what I do in daycare. My food program lady says juice should only be given 2 times a day total (2 x 1/2 cup) as it has sugar in it. Eventually they will get thirsty!

Aw weaning is hard mama! In your situation I would work on first getting her into her own bed, so its not so convenient to nurse all night. And work on the night weaning, helping her to self soothe and sleep all night. Really after you get the night weaning taken care of.. I think the day weaning won't be so bad. And still once the night weaning is taken care of the day nursing might not seem like such a big deal... help her to become more independent, distraction.

I know you are ready to wean, I think your best course of action is to work on the night weaning first, then move to cutting out a daytime nursing at a time over the course of several weeks.
Good luck mama, and congratulations for nursing your baby this long!

Hmm, you have a number of different things going on. I think it would be quite hard to wean a 2 year old who co-sleeps. I would consider trying to work on moving her to her own bed before you try to wean her (better to do things gradually). Once she is in her own crib/bed, she will almost certainly sleep longer at night. I am not against co-sleeping and my son slept right next to me for the first six months of his life, but I will say that children sleep better and longer when they are just a bit separated from their parents.

Of course, she will not want to sleep on her own because she has been sleeping with you for so long. I would start by trying to get her to nap in her own room and by trying to institute a very clear bedtime routine (wash/bath, brush teeth, pjs, stories, kisses and then bed) at the same time every night. After you go through that, you could put her in her own crib and then stay with her for a certain amount of time (maybe until she falls asleep in the beginning so she isn't so upset) and then shorten the time every few nights until she feels comfortable sleeping on her own. I am a huge believer in the power of a reliable bedtime routine. My son (17 months) has had one since he was about 10 months and he goes to bed between 7 and 7:30 every night and sleeps until 7:30 or 8 in the morning.

You will need to be very patient and consistent with this process. I'm sure that she will cry. I am not generally for letting kids cry it out but she is too old now for there to be much hope that she won't cry at all. I would tolerate some tears, but stay with her so she knows that you love her even if you won't give in and take her out of her crib. I'd expect a transition like this to take a good couple of weeks.

Once she is sleeping on her own, I'd try to slowly cut down on nursings. You should feel proud that you have nursed for so long and that your daughter clearly likes to be with you and get comfort from nursing. Do you pump at all? I think the best way to introduce milk is to mix breastmilk with cow milk. You can start with 3/4 breastmilk so the taste is familiar and slowly adjust the proportions.

You will probably also need to be firm about when to nurse. You could start to insist that she is a big girl and will have to drink from a sippy cup at meal times - no more nursing during the day. I'm sure she'll protest this too (she's two after all), but be calm and consistent. No nursing during the day. Lots of hugs and cuddles and love, but no nursing. You could save nursing for right before bed as a treat for sleeping in her own bed. And you could still nurse at night if she wakes up just to save your sanity(if she is eating enough during the day though, she should start sleeping through the night very soon - 2 is very old to still be waking up).

I'd make a plan about how you want to handle all of this and take steps to change things incrementally. If you plan out what you want to do (what you think is reasonable) then you will have a better chance of being consistent with your daughter. If you are inconsistent (sometimes she can sleep with you, sometimes she can nurse during the day, etc.) she will have no idea what the real rules are. Once she understands that the rules are real, she will adjust much faster and you will have fewer tantrums and more sleep.

Good luck to you - its hard to say no to your child and very hard to deny them nursing since it is such a loving thing. But she is perfectly ready to wean and you should not feel guilty about being the mom and setting some limits.

B.

I was having an extremely hard time weaning my two year old. A friend suggested something she did, and her mother before her. Put band aids across your nipples and tell her mommy's Breasts hurt they have owies.Then offer a sippy cup with ovaltine chocolate milk (ovaltine has vitamins and is not as full of sugar as nesquick, the chocolate milk is a diversion, If she is still reluctant to drink the regular milk try chocolate soy milk that's what we had to start off with my little guy was not much into milk either, or you could try skim or 1% milk to start it is not as rich as whole and breast feed babies take to it a lot better then whole milk for some odd reason) Two downfalls to this #1 you have to keep the bandaids on until your sure she has lost interest, and #2 expect her to "check" often the first few days to see if they are better. She may want to try to nurse with the bandaid on (they realize real quick it isn't going to happen when she try's say owie that hurts momma. I know this sounds a bit deceptive and I had my reservations but after a while I became desperate and the other suggestions that were given didn't work. The band aids worked like a charm.

Have you thought of just night-weaning her? It sounds like it is taking a toll on you, but you don't need to wean her completely or even stop co-sleeping, if you don't want to. I recommend you read The No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantley. :) Nursing is a special bond...and of course she only wants the best. Don't forget that she is receiving passive immunities from you every day because she is still nursing. The average worldwide weaning age is 3 1/2.

:)

Hi
I just went through this with my 14mo old- I'm still nursing before bed and at 5am (to get a couple extra hours of sleep :) )
SO I too wanted to slowly wean and it sounds like our sit. our different.... what I was luckily with is that my son loves water- and he only nursed after meals and for snack. What I ended up doing (per my ped. advice- still i'm irritated by it now) was abruptly stopping and only offering whole milk for two days...... i quit that. he only drank 1-2oz of milk per day!
So we stopped nursing but now he just drinks water- we researched like crazy calicum sources etc. through vegan websites and nutritionists. He also gets diarrhea from dairy we have realized so he is now offered soy milk- still only wants water though.....the ped. said "some kids just never like milk" but we'll keep trying- maybe next week he will :)
As far as night sleep- we just let him cry it out- it was horrible for two nights and now we get to sleep until the 5am waking.....
We'll be cutting that out soon.....
Anyway- maybe just get her used to something other than bm??? or just only nurse after meals and then cut a meal out per day.... it's really hard but you have to stick to the plan you make!
GOOD LUCK!! and CONGRATS! on nursing for so long that's awesome! I would have gone longer but want to get pregnant again..

Here's what I did and it seemed to work pretty well.
During the day, if she indicated she wanted to nurse, I'd distract her. I'd say, 'oh, let's go outside' or 'where is your...' I didn't say 'no' or 'not now' or anything to indicated we weren't going to nurse. I'd just redirect her attention. If I thought she was thirsty, I'd offer her water or juice after the distraction, but before we changed locations.
At night, I'd say 'Not now, I'm tired' and since we were learning about sharing and by two she understands 'mine' I'd cover my chest and say 'This is my body and I will share with you in the morning' (you are also teaching her boundaries and that it's ok to not to allow someone to touch you when you don't want to be touched), but not if you wake me up. I will cuddle you, but I'm too tired to nurse.' If she was really insistent, I'd say 'no'. By that time, (actually, but a year old) if she cries in the night, especially in the family bed and not in a room alone somewhere, it's not 'crying it out'. It's no different than a temper tantrum at any other time. Little babies don't manipulate, but toddlers sure try! Anyway, I'd have a sleeping bag and pillow next to the bed. If she did cry and tried to throw a fit, I'd tell her 'I'm not going to let you sleep in my bed if you keep everyone awake. Beds are for sleeping. You'll have to sleep in the sleeping bag.' Usually, she'd choose to cuddle without the nursing, and even if she went to the sleeping bag (her choice, stubborn little thing, would rather have a fit on the floor sometimes) she'd get that I meant what I said and crawl into bed for a cuddle when she was done. (And have mercy on me, she's still stubborn at 15!)
As for trying to get her to drink cows milk, humans don't NEED to have cow's milk. If they did, mother's would make it, not cows. Cows make milk for baby cows, not for our babies. What do cultures who don't have cows do when they wean? They move on to adult foods. Calcium is found in many places other than by drinking milk. For one, there are plenty of other dairy products. Does she eat yogurt and cheese?
K. Wildner
HypnoBirthing practitioner
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I don't have much advice for you since I am in a similar situation as you. My baby just turned 2 this past weekend. He does not want to give up the breastfeeding. I did go down to twice a day. Morning and before bedtime. He does sleep in his own bed. Up until he turned 1 he would wake up every few hours during the night and I would feed him. At 1 I decided he was only waking to get the breast, he wasn't really hungry. I stopped the night feedings and he sleeps thru. I have tried telling him that we are only feeding at night but he just doesn't want to give it up. My son too is not the best eater. He will eat at meal times but does not eat alot at each meal. He was just weighed at his 2 yr. well child exam and he weighs 22 lbs 10oz. He is just under the 3% on the charts. Every time I feed him now I talk to him about being a big boy and that we will stop the morning feeding and eventially the night one too. If you get any good suggestions feel free to pass them along to me. I am ready to wean and I don't know how to do it the right way. Thanks and good luck.
M.
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I breastfed both of my children until a year and I had no troubles with weaning. So this is not from personal experience. However, I have a sister-in-law who nursed her children for a really long time and who had a lot of friends who did also. One of them had a "Bye-Bye Boobie" party. I know this is going to sound really wierd. Like I said, it's not from personal experience. Anyway, they had a cake of breasts, kind of like one you might find at a bachelor party. They invited close friends and family and bidded farewell to the boobs. If you're desperate (and feel comfortable with it), it might be worth a shot. Your daughter should be old enough to understand.

Best of Luck!

You might want to try nightweaning - that's what worked the best for my kids. It was a pretty bad three nights, but for all three kids the sleeping got almost immediately better after that. It was an easier way to approach weaning for me too. My kids' interest in breastfeeding waned once they couldn't nurse at night.

I followed the plan described by Dr. Jay Gordon in the article "Changing the Sleep Pattern in the Family Bed (you do NOT have to have a family bed to do this - we did it with both crib and co-sleep arrangements):

http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

If you're interested but don't have time to read the article, send me an email and I'll summarize for you.

Not sure how to do it, but you've got to. Breast feeding is a two way street and both people (mother and child) have to want to do it for it to be a good and healthy thing. I would recommend calling a lactation consultant for help. I've always found the lactation consultants at United Children's incredibly helpful. Their number is ###-###-####. For visits, they bill through your ped. I think their phone consults are free.

I really think it is important for you AND your daughter to begin this process. You don't want to do it anymore and shouldn't feel like you have to (you may begin to feel resentful). Also, it may be time for your daughter to begin learning some lessons here. Sometimes we have to do things that we don't want to do because they are for the best. Sometimes we have to do things to respect how others' feel. And in life, there is end to all things; often we don't have control over when that end is coming and we need to learn to accept change.

Hope this advise from a fellow Mom and former teacher is helpful!
:) M.

I was able to wean my daughter before her third birthday so I understand the need to have your body back!
What worked for me was telling her in the morning that mommy was a little grumpy because I didn't get enough sleep last night since she kept waking me up. So, let's try not waking mommy up for milk but you can have a drink of water instead. After a few weeks, I was able to sleep all through the night and so was she. It was great for both of us. The next step was to only have a night and evening nursing - again talking to her several hours before and then 30min before. Next, was to eliminate the morning nursing and finally the evening nursing. It took a few months and was very bittersweet. But, neither one of us was ever upset and it happened naturally. It has been two years now and she doesn't remember even nursing! Kids are so funny.

I have a 20 month old that I still breastfeed and was wondering the same thing. I thought it would be good to do for the first year then my doctor told me that is you do it for two years you cut your chances in half of getting breast cancer ( which runs in my family). But now that the two year mark is approching I wondering if she will ever give it up. I only do it when see is going to sleep, I guess that was a bad idea because she has never slept through the night she wakes about two times a night to nurse and basically just sleeps with me. She does drink milk from a cup though. Sorry I couldn't be more help just wanted you to know I understand. Let me know if you get any suggestions.

I think the advice given by the other moms is great. I just wanted to add that it is going to be a little hard on both of you but once you get through it, you'll be happier and better rested. I think its wonderful that you have nursed her this long and I also support co-sleeping.

Just keep reminding yourself that you aren't a bad mom because you need to wean. You also aren't a bad mom if you need to let your daughter cry it out a couple of times.

Good luck.

I have a friend who breastfed til age 2 also and she cant' get her daughter to drink regular milk for the life of her.

You have to quit breastfeeding and just be done if your ready. Wait a bit and only offer her regular cow milk and hopefully she will eventually try it enough to like it.

I babysat this 2 year old and only offered her milk, I refused to give this child juice because she would drink 8+ cups of juice a day with her mom.A big no no at our house. And she started drinking milk at my house.

If your daughter is ok with soy, sometimes little ones will take soy, especially vanilla flavor better than cows milk. You might want to warm it up, just a bit, so that it is less different than what she is used to. My son is only 9 months old and so I am still nursing, but long years of maternity wards, daycares, and nannying go into this advice. Vanilla tends also to be a good flavor choice if flavoring milk is a good avenue for trying her to drink other things.