Weaning My 11 Month Old - Santa Barbara,CA

I had trouble weaning at night-my son was in the crib-but I was still in there all night. I read every book as I was determined not to let him "cry it out". Unfortunately, he had to cry a little. Instead of just leaving him alone to cry, my husband would go in to calm him a little-rocking or rubbing his back. When my son realized that he was not going to get nursed anymore at night-he woke less frequently.

You should slowly cut back on the amount of time you nurse him. For example, if you nurse for 10 minutes, cut down 2 minutes at a time until he is weaned. Also, increase his whole milk as you begin to wean him. I found out I was pregnant when my daughter was 15 months old and I was still nursing...it took me a month after I found out to completely wean her and she was fine. Also, I mixed whole milk with vanilla rice milk initially b/c it made it taste sweeter (like breast milk)...as soon as she got used to drinking milk from a cup on a daily basis, I cut back on the rice milk. Good luck!

I suggest that you first get him out of your bed. As a mom of a 6 year old & a 21 month old, who is now 9 months pregnant, I can assure you that you are not going to want your 1 year old in bed with you when you get big & uncomfortable. Get him sleeping in a crib or a pack-and-play. This will probably be a big transition for him, but the way that I would do it is to put him down in his new bed while he's awake but sleepy. Ask his daycare provider how she gets him down for nap & try to follow that routine so it's familiar to him. Don't worry if he cries a bit, but if it's getting to be a long time of crying & you can't stand it, go in & comfort him, but then put him back down to sleep again. During this transition period, you may want to still nurse him when you comfort him, but eventually you will want to nurse him less & less & instead just comfort him by keeping his diaper clean & helping him lay back down again. Your goal should be to get him to go through the night without nursing. It will be best for him to get a good nights sleep & get out of the habit to wake up to nurse, & best for you & your new baby, too. You don't have to completely wean him if you don't want to. You can still nurse him before bed as part of a nighttime routine (I would then brush his teeth after his last nursing to make sure he's awake & to keep his teeth from getting yucky) & if you have time, you can nurse him in the morning before daycare. Talk to your Dr. if you want to, to help reassure you that your son is old enough to go through the night without needing a feeding, and try not to get too stressed about it. Transitions are hard & they take time, but if you stay calm & try to go with the flow, it will be easier for both of you.

First, yes this is hard, but it's important that you get him to sleep in his own bed! You must sleep! That is most important since if you are not getting enough sleep you are not going to be as healthy. Also, it's important that you and your mate have private time together, whether it's for sex or cuddling or hugging - all of that is part of your intimate life and it's important to retain that (it's hard to get in the mood with a toddler in the bed with you :) It seems that he's nursing so that he has private cuddling time with you and does not have to do with food.- and can you blame him? You are what he is looking forward to seeing all day long - so continue the cuddling and the hugging that comes with nursing, and just remove the nursing part... read books while he's on your lap, hold him and sing him songs, ask him about his day all while in the same cuddling position - just not including the nursing. If he drinks from a sippy cup or bottle at daycare, then he can do the same at home - but know that he is not nursing for milk - that is his private, quiet, sweet mommy time. This method will work, but it means that you have to stick to it - let him know that you love him but that he has to drink from his bottle and that you want to read him a book or tell him a story while he drinks his milk (if he is hungry). To get him to sleep in his own room, that's trickier - on the weekends get him to nap in his own room and when you are ready to tell him about the new baby, turn him into a "Big Brother" who is such a big boy now that he won't need to sleep with mom and dad anymore. And if you haven't already done so, let him pick out his own sheets for his bed and a new best buddy to sleep with - and make it fun, not scary... you'll do fine, ask close friends for support during this transition, and stay calm and positive. This will soon be only a memory and you will be able to focus on the new arrival! Good luck! (I have a few more tips in my book: www.coolyourepregnant.com that might help)

Sounds so familiar! There's no getting around the crying part when you decide to get him to his own bed plus wean. I suspect the all night nursing and nusing when he's with you weekends and after daycare is because he misses you during those week days. He's got a lot of changes coming his way with a new little sibling to contect with soon, weaning and getting him in his own bed before he's ready might be too much for the little guy to bear. Any chance you can change your work hours around so you're with him more during the day m-f? Can hubby help rock or hold him until he sleeps at night? Maybe take at least one shift, eliminate one nursing bout at a time at night -- givnig you perhaps 3 to 4 hours of steady sleep.
My heart goes out to you mommy!! Congrats on the new little nugget!!

as horrible as it sounds and makes you feel YES...just let him cry..if he does good at daycare then he just knows he can get what he wants from mommy ...thats all it is...be strong..when he is hungry enough and through being angry..he will drink from the bottle.. hang in there...

Is he eating solid foods? Maybe try giving him solid food as a snack before bed, brush off his teeth with a wet washcloth or soft baby toothbrush, then after he falls asleep, put him in his crib. He will get use to it. You could also try to give him bottles not instead of the breast, see how he does. It would only be as a transition type of thing, because he shouldn't have bottles to much after the 1st birthday either. Will he use a sippy cup? You could put the breast milk in the sippy and only give it to him in that. It would be better than the bottle actually.

I recommend checking in with La Leche League for guidance regarding breastfeeding, weaning and other nursing issues. They are extremely helpful and supportive. (Sorry, I don't have any specific advice as I nightweaned my daughter at 15 months and nursed her 3 times a day until she entered preschool when I cut back to just nights.)

I agree with Carrie - first, in the crib then stop nursing at night. I also found out I was pregnant when my baby was 10mo and still breast feeding regularly 3-4 times during the day and once at night (2-3 d/wk at a babysitter with breastmilk in a sippy). I first stopped her afternoon feeding and sustituted cows milk in a sippy cup, then stopped lunch time, then the last 2. Each was gradual- Feeding on one side instead of both for a few days or so then stopping, usually on a day of some other event or distraction. (It is ok to give cow's milk under 12mo as long as it is not the exclusive liquid calories and your baby gets mostly breast milk or formula). For stopping night feedings, I sent my husband in for 2-3 nights and she slept through ever since. This whole process took about 8wk. Initially, to get her to sleep in her crib and out of our bed, we did have to let her cry, but started at 5-6mo with daytime naps and then nighttime with the same routine each time (books, song, lay down awake but sleepy and with a bath at nighttime). I also switched at around 7-8mo to nursing before the bath instead of nursing to sleep. All transitions are hard, but you will be much happier getting the sleep you need. Good luck! Also, ask your doctor for a handout from MD consult called Trained Night Feeder. Or send me your e-mail and I'll get it to you (too long for this forum)