Weaning Night Feedings

B., good for you for continuing to bf at 8 mos. That is great, for you and for her. How do you feel about the night weaning? It is your choice, not up to your husband or doctor. You need to do what you feel is right and what is best for your baby and you. Isn't it nice that, while having an ear infection and teething, that you can comfort her so well, and in a way that no one else can? I bfed all 3 of my kids and let the 2 oldest self-wean. My doc strongly encouraged me to wean my youngest at 21 mos, because she wasn't gaining much weight. It was awful forcing her to stop and I still regret listening to everyone, but my dd. Once you start weaning, you can't go back. Your baby is only little for a short time, enjoy it while you can. Once each of mine was weaned, I really missed that special one on one time, even though it was in the middle of the night. If you don't mind, then I would keep at it. It is great for both of you. As for sleep, I see you WAH, so I would suggest taking a nap when your kids are napping. Know that one day this part of your life will be gone.
S., mom of 3 and daycare provider

There is a great article by Dr. Jay Gordon called "Changing the Sleep Pattern in the Family Bed." It is what I did with all three of my children, and I felt that it worked very well.

Here's the link:
http://www.drjaygordon.com/development/ap/sleep.asp

If you can't read the link, please email me and I'd be happy to send you a summary.

Hi B.,

Good for you for still nursing your 8 month old. My advice is to do what feels right for you, not what your husband or doctor suggests. If you don't mind getting up to feed her, than it really isn't an issue, is it? I have two boys who were (one still is) breastfed. My older son (who is now 2) was up every 2-3 hours to eat until he was a year, and never slept completely through the night until I weaned him at 14 months. At the time, it felt like he would NEVER sleep through the night.. in fact I am sure I put some posts out on this website looking for sleep help :) But, now he sleeps great and it seems like a really long time ago that I was up with him.

My 9 month old is also up once to eat (on a good night - on a bad night up 2 or 3 times, he's been teething too). To me, this is sleeping through the night. There are lots of reasons that your baby might wake up and want to eat. She might be thirsty, or hungry, or just need contact with you.

If it feels ok to you to get up with her, then keep doing it. If it is affecting you, and you want to try to wean her off of it, then I suggest the "No Cry Sleep Solution" by Elizabeth Pantley. It's a great book for all moms, but breastfeeding mom's especially.

Good luck,
J.

SAHM to 2 1/2 year old Charlie and 9 month old Joey

I agree that she should be weaned off. Think of it like it is not just about what is happening right now at 8 mos. It's a pattern you are setting for her that will be harder and harder to break the more you do it! When we were working our daughter out of night feedings, we started giving her a nook when she woke looking for food. That became the replacement, and was very comforting and soothing to her. Eventually she stopped waking for those reasons at all!

B.,
You should do what is right for you and your daughter. Nursing is not than milk. I nursed all 3 of my children during the 70's. At that time nursing was NOT the way to feed a child. I allowed others to tell me what to do with my first child and weaned her at 9 months. That was a huge mistake. I nursed my second child until he was neary 2 and the third until she was almost 4. Each child is different and each has different needs for food and comfort. As long as you are fine do what makes you happy. don't please others when it comes to you and your children.

Another note: I ended up rocking my oldest child to sleep until she was 4. I was told by everyone that she would always need me to rock her to sleep and she would be spoiled etc. Well I am pleased to say that at age 37 she had 3 lovely children of her own,is far from spoiled and is a very self assured woman.

I would go with what works for you and your daughter. My son woke up at least once a night to breast feed until he was 1. We knew it was because he was hungry because he would put himself back to sleep at other times of the night without us even having to go into the room.
When he started to wean himself from breastfeeding during the day, I started giving him a bottle of pumped milk when he woke up at night to see if he was just nursing for comfort. As he started to drink less from the bottle, I started diluting the milk with water. After a few weeks, I was only giving him water at night, and after a few nights of that, he started sleeping through the night! It seemed to be a very stress-free way of weaning him from night feeding, and I'm glad I waited until he was ready. I like getting more sleep now, but I do miss that cuddle time--now he's a busy 15 month old who doesn't have time to sit on mom's lap!
Good luck in whatever choice you make!

If she is waking and actually EATING, then she still needs it. If she is waking and just sucking a little to fall back asleep, then she doesn't need it, and you can send your husband in to pat her on the back so she is soothed back to sleep, and gradually cut back on the back patting.

However if you are ok with getting up to feed her, and she is eating a good meal and falling back to sleep afterwards, her little body still needs that nourishment in the middle of the night.

My oldest was sleeping 8-10 hours by 6 weeks old... my youngest woke up at 1am and 4am to nurse until he was 8 months old, and then only at 4am until he was 11 months old! I was ok with it since he was hungry and eating good at those times, his body needed it, he was hungry! He's 2 now and weaned at 18 months, but since he stopped needing that 4am nursing he sleeps from 7pm-7 or 8am.

But again, if you are ok with it, and she is actually eating good, then keep going with it, she'll stop one day. However if she is waking only for comfort sucking, then she doesn't need it, its a habit, and you can cut out that night feeding.

Good luck, and congratulations on breastfeeding!

I would wait until the ear infection is gone and the teeth are no longer hurting. Even if she's only doing it for your comfort, she's not 100%. She feels crappy. She wants some cuddling. I think it's perfectly understandable if you wait until she's feeling better - then try to make the change. We never made any changes like that when our boys were teething or "under the weather" and everything so far has been fine.

When we finally weaned the boys from night time feedings, we just let them cry and they would go back to sleep. The first night it took about 30 min. or so, with each night a ton better than the previous night. They were not waking through the night - or waking and putting themselves back to sleep in a couple minutes within 5 days. They get too tired to keep it up.

If they really, truly are hungry, we notice now that they do stay awake - so if it's been a while that they have been crying we go ahead and give them something. We just assume they didn't eat enough food during the day or maybe at daycare, or maybe that they are just growing and need the 4 a.m. calories - but it doesn't happen regularly.

Good luck!