What Does the Phrase "The Wisdom of Moms" Mean?

I'm not overly wedded to "the wisdom of moms" since in the past we have had good dad contributors. I personally am open to any parent with been-there-done-that experience.

Where I cringed at the new guidelines was the "piling on" criteria. I respond before I read what others have written, and I'd be upset if my time was wasted (answer deleted) simply because I had the same reaction as someone else. Perhaps the moderators could clarify what they mean by this?

ETA: In thinking about this more, I'll also comment that "the wisdom of moms" doesn't always a mean sympathetic pat on the head. It also includes knowing when some tough love is called for. That doesn't mean expletives or name-calling, but it can mean a very direct statement.

Hi fellinstroller...I was wondering where you were. Nice to "see" you here again!😊

Yes, our tone is being regulated now. Not pretty!

maybe we've aged out together, me love.

i have no problems with men being here, or having male mods (and i'm sure you don't either.) i DO have problems with the new mods suddenly taking issue with tone and deciding they'll ignore other more pressing problems in order to fix the regs. and yeah, having it come from a trio of men DOES make it a paternalistic issue.

i like the new management for the most part. they're far more available, engaged and concerned about the success of the site than the old lot, and i appreciate that. i also appreciate the way they usually seek insight and feedback.

but they really ballsed up this last situation, and i'm a little tired of them (and some of the regs) demanding that we respond in a set fashion.

respect does not have to be saccharine.

if a post can be pulled, someone in the back office is reviewing the questions and answers. it would take virtually no effort to inform the respondent and allow them to edit if necessary. but this should NOT be done simply because someone has disagreed. expletives and ad hominems are really the only reason i can think of for pulling a post. in addition to the illegal ad issue, we have been inundated lately with no-info questions, and i'd love to see the management focus on helping new members with THAT instead of expending all this energy in policing those who do write and respond regularly.

and i agree with you. if the new management really has no faith in the 'wisdom of moms' it may be time to change the slogan.

ETA after reading the responses, MNN i'm with you, i respond THEN read, so if the mods start pulling for redundancy, there's no point in the site for me. i like to respond from my own starting point. sometimes my POV gets changed from reading the responses, and then i'll say so. if a question generates 40 answers, then i want to read every one.

julie G, your final statement makes me gag. is that 'disrespectful'?
khairete
S.

To me, "the wisdom of moms" speaks to out 7th sense and to our role as the cultivators of humanity. My husband always says people can't multiple-task. Once you've had a baby, and your're a woman, you can indeed. Secondly, we are the cultivators of humanity, and I hope that we seek wisdom to do so.

I honestly don't care about this Shuffle. I am intrigued, though, as to what sort of man would work for such a site. My husband would die first.

Maybe this is a generational thing. Again, Usenet rocked. No moderators, just adults chatting. I wonder if our sites leaders even know about Usenet.

But I'm always game to put kindness and respect as guiding principles. I don't think this is a big deal, but it doesn't really effect my behavior. I tend to ignore possible trolls. My favorite philosopher said to walk by what you cannot love. There is a lot of truth in that, and as I'm aging, I'm getting better at waking by. Thanks to all the ****s on this site, I've grown a lot over the last few years, and I'm very thankful for all the meanness. This place would be boring without it. Yet, I feel terrible for all the people who have been chased away by unnecessary meanness. There are nice ways to say things.

Maybe these gentlemen are just asking us ladies to be ladies?

I still plan on visiting this site. I look forward to reading the posts from the moms I've come to really admire. You are one of those whose name I look for when scrolling through questions and answers.

There was a time when nonsense/inappropriate questions were being asked in droves, not long ago. Lots of fake questions, ridiculously impossible situations, and stupid questions. These are NOT the same as the innocent, naive questions that a new mom might ask, or a mom facing an unfamiliar situation might be grappling with. I'm talking about the "my child has a fever of 120 degrees. Should I call a doctor or wait until l can get her an appointment with my acupuncture clinic next month?" kind of questions.

It doesn't take the wisdom of moms to realize that these questions are nonsense and a waste of everyone's time. Any sensible human can weed out those. And it seems like the moderators are doing a good job of that.

However, with the actual questions, where we moms may be critical, or brusque, or even when we may seem irritated, well, as long as there's no name-calling or outright rude and uncivil behavior, I think the post should stay. We moms sometimes have wisdom that is whispered with great compassion, sometimes is silent and consists of only a gentle hug and a shoulder to cry on, and sometimes that wisdom is shouted loudly and passionately. A question-asker should realize that he or she is asking relative strangers on the internet, and some answers may not be delivered as kindly as others. That's life.

So what if many people have the same opinion and the answers pile up? That shows how many people are interested. So what if someone doubts that a plausible question is real? Let the question-asker come back and explain, add more information, or withdraw the question.

Hi F. :)

I have concerns too.

I read through the answers given because I find the advice on here great. If some of it gets deleted by moderators, I may miss something that might have been really helpful to me.

I thought that was the point of this site. A mom asks a question that's about her life or kids - but all the moms can relate and we take what answers make sense or are relevant to us.

I do believe moms should be smart enough and thick skinned enough if using this site to understand that. Some of the answers might not be to their liking - skip over them.

I think they have to be careful. It's very subjective what will offend one mom, might not another.

Let's face it, some of us started out with our first baby going "I HAVE TO DO WHAT WHEN IT POOPS"!!!

I was probably about 14 or 15 mentally when it came to parenting when I had my daughter and I was 20. I made so many mistakes with her and I see so many moms make mistakes I wish they weren't making. Kids need to play, they need time with mom and dad having fun. Not getting in trouble for something the teacher should handle herself/himself. They have to sit down for hours in the evening and do even more school work when they've stuffed enough in their brain for the week by Tuesday. They want to go ride their bike and play and use their imagination and grow their creativity but they can't, mom and dad make them go do homework that is often nothing more than busy work to appease parents who rate the teacher on how much homework she/he gives.

They roar and yell and are the "parent/boss" and they don't allow their kiddo to ever say no, to anyone, even some person that might be using that to their advantage to hurt your kids.

We grow up, we see our mistakes and how it would have been SO MUCH better if we'd just heard that wasn't a great idea. Then we might not have made that mistake.

So when we see a question that we feel like we're an expert on or have a great deal of knowledge on we jump on a question and spend a lot of time wording our comments, we spend time finding links, we try to say things in a nice way when we really do think the person is an honest parent and not some teen/tween kid on break.

I know a LOT about child care and I can guarantee that if a mom has a question about something that happened to her child or in her child's classroom I am going to be a pretty good expert in what I say.

If that mom is totally wrong I'm going to say there are laws and guidelines and here is a link where you can read it for yourself. IF I can find their states child care regulations book.

I am 99% of the time going to take the child care facilities side and try to get that parent to see the way it works when their child is away from them and why that's a good way of doing it. There are lots of reasons behind every single law they make.

Same thing with developmental disabilities and what the schools are supposed to provide for the kids in their district and how that parent can become their child's best advocate. Many parents are sheep when it comes to this because the school doesn't want to spend their budget on one kid and they'll tell the parent it's their job to pay for everything and to seek help outside of the school room. There are laws that guarantee those rights.

I am a grandparent raising grandchildren. I have a lot of knowledge and OPINIONS on what is what in that area.

I am 57 years old and have a lot of knowledge that I can pass down to other moms and dads who are trying to find their way through the muck and mire of parenthood.

I am still not a great parent though. I am a darn good grandma and I'm doing great with my grand kids but that's because I don't have to be the MOM or DAD, I am grandma and I don't have to "make them mind" because everyone will judge me if I don't do it the popular way. I don't have to conform to anything I don't see a reason for. We stay up late and get up late sometimes. No problem for me.

I am not a sheep. I am an adult who has made a ton of mistakes and I have gone through the fire and hopefully can share some of that with other parent figures so they can have more information when they go to make some choices.

If TPTB want to delete my responses because I might tell a parent they're making a mistake and going to screw up their kid then so be it. It won't make any difference to me but it might make a difference to that parent who posted the question because they hadn't thought of their situation in those terms. So the parent who posted is ultimately the one who loses out. If they don't like my answer they can scroll on by it.

ETA: Astounding to me to see someone talk about kindness when one of her SWH's called her posters the "c" word and more. Just wow.

Feline, I think it's really interesting that the site has gone from 3 or 4 questions a day to a whole slew of them at once. I actually really think that the moderators have gone and found questions to place here to make it seem like it's being used more.

Original:
I agree with you, dear.