What to Do About the "MINE!" Phase

I never stressed. If it was his, I'd ask to borrow it (if I wanted to). If it wasn't, I'd correct him. No screaming, no fighting. The more of a show they get, the more likely they are to continue it.

S.

This is totally normal and an important developmental stage/touchpoint. This is actually an ideal point in time to work on boundaries since the child now understands the concept that some things are his and he can define the boundaries as to who he allows to mess with his things. You can also work on sharing. For example, if he wants to use some stuff from the kitchen (my kids loved to play with tupperware and pots and pans and wooden spoons) or needs stuff from your office - I have my own office supplies - including crayons and colored pencils, you let him know that you are being generous and sharing and he needs to appreciate this. He may then be willing to share with you. For example, you do need to ask if you want to take one of his books or toys out of his room for another child to use or even if you want to read to him in another room. This isn't spoiling a child this is showing him you respect his boundaries and he must respect other's boundaries.

Here's something we do with our sons that you could modify for your's.

Whenever my boys want something, cookie, cracker, drink, etc, I give one of them enough for the both and tell them to give them "x" amount to their brother. For example, if they want crackers for a snack I will give one of them six crackers and tell him to give his brother 3 crackers. If they want drinks I give one of them both drinks and tell him to give one to his brother. We have made this sort of interaction a normal part of our lives so it becomes second nature to them. This teaches them to share with things that are not as important to them as a toy or other treasured item. It has worked very well with my boys.

I know this will be harder for you since you only have one child, but you can give him four crackers and tell him to give you or Daddy one. Make a big deal of it when he does share the cracker, etc.

This phase will pass, but it's a great opportunity to teach him not only to share, but the joy of sharing. Good luck!!

My daughter is 22 months and does the same thing. Sometimes I make it into a game if she is just playing around. Sometimes you just need to have fun! If we are being serious and in fact it is her object, then I confirm that this is her toy. If she is targeting something that is not hers then I specify that this is not hers. She seems to understand. I think she has "fake" cried when she just started going through this phase, but I just ignore those cries! Now she just goes, "okay". Good luck!

Hi A., for my nephew we did 2 things. First, every time he would say MINE and grab at something I would either say.. no that's Aunties but you can play with it or if it was something of his I would say yes it is yours but Auntie needs to hold it for just a minute and you can hold _____. The other thing I did is to very overly exaggerate and practice sharing things. We would take turns doing everything from brushing teeth to sweeping the floor to wiping hands and face. It didn't take long at all for him to learn that when I said it was my turn with something that he would either get it right back or I would give him something else to play with.

I don't really have time to read all of the responses but I wanted to note that you should not get discouraged, most kids of this age are not particularly big on generosity so there is nothing you have done wrong to hit this phase. Just continue to promote the positive behavior and time outs or whatever works for you when he pitches a fit.

We're working through that as well.

My mom tells me it's normal behavior, that it's often a phase where toddlers are developing a sense of power (plus he doesn't really know better yet.)

We've just made it very clear if our son announces that something is "Mine!" then it gets taken away for at least a few minutes and we say, "Yes it's yours (or No it's not yours, we're borrowing it, it's Daddy's and he's sharing it with you, etc.), and it's rude for you to say it's yours. You may not play with it for x minutes to help you remember next time." Also using the words "your turn" and "her turn" or "his turn" at some point in our brief correction seems to work well at diffusing his frustration if there is another child involved.

This has really helped the frequency of the problem, though he still gets things taken away regularly...;D

No one can share until they are sure of what is theirs. Sharing is scary..."what if they never give it back?" When it is really their possession that is claimed, then restate that "yes, that toy is yours". If it is not theirs then state, "that toy is not yours, but..." then state the situation: you may look at it for a minute, Tommy really wants it back, or whatever. Then show them something that is really theirs and offer a trade calmly but firmly if necessary. Bullying and shaming a child into 'sharing' are just plain wrong no matter whose toy it is. Willingly sharing takes a very long time and lots of security and is often subject to how that particular day is going. Lots of love, patience, and trust-building will eventually yield a secure child.

There isn't any "correction" for this behavior that a child his age will understand. It's a very normal phase that may last well into him turning 3 years of age.

Just let it go- it's part of him establishing himself and his opinion. Enjoy is while you can.....he might not have much to say to you once he's a teenager!! :-)

This is actually very normal behavior for a 2 year old---he has just realized things are his and he is taking possession----just re-inforce things like "yes, that is yours, but we must chare" and Yes, that is yours, but Mommy mneeds to use it, I will give it back"---he will get the idea and he will grow out of it! It is just a territoriral thing right now---not much to get concerened about!

Me--Mom of 2 and Nana of 3! Married 35 years to the same man!!

Perfectly normal. It's annoying, but he's trying to establish independence. My oldest had a lovey blanket that ended up with the name "meenee" because that is how she pronounced "mine" at that age! We still have remnants of meenee and she is almost 14!
Treasure each stage, this one too will pass.

I recommend the "Happiest Toddler on the Block" DVD. It was great in helping us deal with most of the toddler behaviors....

My son turned 2 two weeks ago and about 1 week ago he started the same thing, we were driving home from daycare and he was holding his blanket and saying mine. I haven't really been worried because I know all kids go through this stage. If the thing he is holding is truly his (like his blanket) I say yes that is yours and move on I do not say anything about it because in fact it is his. Now, if he gets something of mine or daddy's or wants something of ours that he can not play with, we say sorry that is mommy's or no that is daddy's, I think this is teaching him to respect other people's things and I may be doing it all wrong, but live and learn right. Now, we have not run into the problem with sharing "his" toys yet so I can't really make him understand sharing when there is no one else to share with. Also, like another poster said, we do ask him to give something to daddy or mommy to help him understand and he does say please and thank you. Good luck!!

I run a home daycare and have 3 children of my own. I have a special set of toys(right now it is a cheap basket of sea shells that we got at the beach) Any toy that is appealling but is "yours" will do. At certain times when everyone is in good spirits we sit down on the floor and play, I do not allow them to take my toys from my hand, I teach them to respect "my" toy just like one of the other children. Its a game and its fun so there is rarely a breakdown and they don't feel deprived. Slowly the game will fit into their experience and you can reinforce the idea that everyone has a "mine" sometimes. I hope this helps.