Where Oh Where Can I Get Some Patience???

You might have low cortisol.

You can find 1% hydrocortisone cream in the market- if you put a small amount on in the morning and at noon, and you are helped, you might have adrenal fatigue. It is very difficult to handle stress when you dont have enough stress hormones releasing from the adrenal gland. Dont put he creme on after 4pm or it might keep you up at night.

Gail

S.: my heart goes out to you. You've posted quite a few questions on this forum in the past few months. Lots of family questions, lots of daycare questions. I truly believe Friday was not just a meltdown day (which we've all had), but an indicator that you need to do an in-depth assessment of where your life is now.

What would make you happiest the most?
What is lacking & is strongly needed?
& is the daycare the right answer for you or is it time to work outside of the home?

Sometimes what we want is different from what we need. Is this where you are now?

With the daycare, is the #1 important factor - so you can be home with your kids......or is income #1? In my case, I am sooo thankful that I can work from home & be here before/afterschool for my son! That is the thought which starts each morning for me.....& it is what carries me thru the stresses of (almost) every day. & yes, daycare can be both stressing & rewarding....the key is in prep/planning & in being a gentle authoritarian - at all times.

When push come to shove, the kids KNOW that I am "Boss" & that this is my house & my toys. I know it sounds harsh, but it's the only way I can keep control on the little ones. Right now, I have 2 15month boys & 2 girls - age 2 & 3. It can get wild & crazy here, & that's okay.....as long as they're respectful of me & their friends. They also know that no snacks/drinks/meals will be served until everything is picked up & put away!

We also have a little ditty which we sing when needed, "playtime, lunch time, naptime, snack time, Mommy time". I equate this with the premise behind the Dora shows & we count these events off on our fingers. It is thru methods such as these that we maintain an even keel & get thru our days together.

Please be aware tho'....that we are a noisy, rowdy bunch. Anytime you put that age group together....it can get crazy! I try to do one project each day - tying an entire week or two together. The past 2 weeks have been "Snow" & we'll soon be moving on to Valentine's Day. Each day, we sing songs, we color, we enjoy Pretend Play....& there's free time. We watch only 1 tv program, usually Barney - because both girls love it. Sometimes, we don't even watch that! The rest of the time we listen to music - theirs or mine, depending on my mood & theirs. My music is how I revive myself - so maybe that would help you!

Naptime is also my treat, my respite. I wait to eat lunch during that naptime. I sometimes do paperwork, sometimes I read my book, sometimes I even watch something on Netflix. In my long 10-11 hour day with kids, I am entitled to an hour to myself & it's all about me! & sometimes, with a baby in my care, I don't get it & it's my end goal for those infant months.

At the end of each day, I make sure the equipmt is cleaned & stored. & then I move into "family" mode.....which is a whole other story! I wish you Peace & I hope that you find a way to create Peace in your daily life. Daycare is tough, but I think it's better than working in an office full of crabby women!

Set aside some time for you!! Make sure you take care of you and maybe get away a couple hours a week whether it's with a friend, your hubby or by yourself. That makes all the difference in the world.

PMS? ARe the days you have no patience just before your period?

Herbal Remedies or Medication may help you.

I am still trying to find my patience! LOL :)

This is the "Mom-itis' syndrome.

I am a SAHM, have 2 kids 4 & 8 years old.... a Husband and a Mom that lives with us.
Ugh.

Not easy.

BUT... the thing, even though I occasionally time to myself is... to find something that is just YOURS. A hobby, a routine or ritual... even closing yourself up in the bathroom to take a nice LONG tub bath... without interruption. So you have to tell your Husband/ kids it is YOUR time.... so go play with Daddy.
Or, a hobby.... me, well I like to Crochet... because it takes my mind off of things.... and it is just focusing on making something.... it 'distracts' your mind.... and focuses it on something else. Which for me is relaxing. But for that too, tell your kids/Hubby Mommy is 'busy'... so have your Hubby mind the kids.

Or, just go out, by yourself. And do anything. Even just sitting in a Starbucks for an hour and read a magazine. Me, I never have time to even read a magazine. So that is a treat for me.

They KEY thing is: IS that it has NOTHING to do with kids.... and it is just YOUR time.

Have your HUSBAND.... help.
That is a must.
So you CAN have time OFF.

Everyone, deserves a 'weekend' and a breather.
Sit down and talk about it with your Hubby.

After a melodramatic "Ice-Age' with my Husband... he is starting to thaw out.... and we can now start to talk about all the daily 'irks' that get on my nerves....
Talking with your Husband, or being able to.... helps.
Even a Mom/Wife... NEEDS a shoulder... to lean on. Even if we are "Super-Woman" types.
We need... to commiserate... not necessarily it being a "solve it now" kind of dialogue. Just venting.

MARK down on a calendar, "Your" time... and that is for you only.
Then tell your Husband.
If not, they are 'dense' and don't even know, we are needing time off and are going berzerk-o.

AND... have your kids AND Husband... do chores in the house. Thereby, giving you a break.

For me, EVERY Friday, is my "Mommy does not cook dinner day." That is MY time off.... from the evening hassles. On those days, my family/kids make their own dinner. Me too. It is just a left over night or take out night. That gives ME.... a 'breather'.... and a nice "Friday" night... off.... from cooking and cleaning up, after.

Because, if you think about it, you have FOUR to five kids daily... then your 2 kids, after they go home. Any woman... would be fried, after that, at the end of the week.

AND 'where' is your Husband in all this..... after he gets home and you are tired/stressed/overloaded after YOUR long day of working too? So... he is a PART of the home and family too... therefore.. ..HE has to help too. Those are his kids too and you are his Wife, and helping you... is a part of being a Husband and Dad. It does not matter if we are a SAHM or a working-outside-the-home-Mom... a Husband/Dad... still has to help.... because he IS a part of the family... NOT 'exempt' from that.

Better to have him help... than he get left with a grumpy irritable.... Wife/Mom.

You DESERVE time off. Self-instituted.... and/or tell your Husband of your plans and needs.
That is a must.

OH and YES.... I am at NO patience.. when I am PMS'ing. I track it and it is a cyclical thing, for me. So... I take herbal remedies. Any Whole Foods or natural food stores, can give you information. There is... to a certain extent... a Hormonal basis, for impatience/irritability.... when there is a monthly cyclical pattern to it. It is. For me it is.

all the best,
Susan

Sounds to me like you are in bad need of a vacation. You are a human being and it is normal to feel overwhelmed from time to time. No matter what your profession, everyone is entitled to a break. You shouldn't feel bad for wanting one.
Plan a day plenty of time in advance for your other children's parents to find an appropriate babysitter. Do you have grandparent's or close friends that could watch yours? Plan a getaway right now. Even if you can't leave for even a day, get a facial and a body massage. Have your hair and nails done too. Let your hubby or SO splurge on you and take you out for a nice dinner. You will feel tons better! Promise.

If you find some...send them my way! LOL! Seriously- You are human....You are allowed to be stressed and at times impatient......It is okay....Where women get this idea that they always have to be their best and always have to be superwoman is beyond me! I gave that up because it was a depressing and defeating goal.....I am a good mom and a good wife and a good teacher....Correction: I AM GREAT! That doesn't mean I am not stressed, impatient or down right crazy at times.....It's okay....Vent, find a way to relax and let it go.....Life is too short to worry about being perfect......

Yep, figure out some "me" time and have it at regular intervals, daily, weekly etc. Even if it's locking yourself in a room for 10 minutes a day. I find that during weeks when I don't get away for a couple of hours at least one day a week, I'm not a very nice person to be around. You can love your kids more than life itself, and you'll love them even more when you come back from an afternoon away from them.

What was your crisis five years ago? That's what my sister always asks me.
It'll get better in time, time is our lifesaver. We all have those moments when life matters drive us up the wall. Don't let it get the best of you, shake it off, at least you recognize it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade! Literally, pour yourself a cool drink and breath! It will be better tomorrow.
Blessings....

Get yourself some Bose headphones. You can still see what the kids are doing and you can hear if they fall and scream. But, you are in your own little world to a degree too. You can listen to relaxing music, books, or download spiritual messages from various places online.

I've been listening to messages from pastors I enjoy. It helps me a great deal. I can do everything I need to do for the kids and just get some time for myself where I don't get tired of hearing all the squealing, laughing, the way they will take a toy and bang it lightly but again and again or play some musical toy again and again. It's also very easy to pretend to ignore the little squabbles they get into. I've learned that it's not always good for me to intervene. If they aren't escalating to blows, sometimes they need to work things out themselves.

You sound perfectly normal. Don't stress over it. We ALL feel that way... sometimes worse than others. As far as how to find patience: spend some time away from the kids, even if it's a couple hours shopping with no kids.. and you'll feel happy to see them and refreshed when you come home. Looks for healthy alternatives to clearing your mind... walk briskly around the block for 20 minutes when you can spare it.. engage the kids in exercise with you when you can... take part in their creative activities by creating something yourself, either with the supplies you buy for them to use or in the kitchen by trying a new recipe. Your mind needs stimulation-- the kind that doesn't revolve around kids.. and that will help too. Good luck... and don't worry... it's completely common and "this too shall pass".