Why Do Parents Dress Their Children Alike?

Ditto Shane B.

My Mom dressed me and my other sibling the same... when traveling. To her, it was because this was 'safe' for us, and then people/strangers would KNOW, that we are in the same family and less chances of getting lost.
We didn't mind.

Hi E.,
I have a 6 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter. Sometimes I dress them alike because I like to do it! They LOVE to be dressed the same, it makes them think they are princesses from the same family (and they are), but they know that everyone else will also know they are sisters too and they are very proud of that fact.
Another reason I do it is because when I find something that I like for one of them, I automatically grab the same thing in the right size of the other one. Even when I take them shopping together, they ask to get the same thing because they want to match or have the same thing as the other. Lastly, I do it because other people do it for us. They will get gifts at Christmas or their birthdays that are the same and they get soooo excited about it.
So, FYI....not all children dislike dressing alike, in my experience most children love it. Looking back at pix from my childhood, my favorite ones are of me and my sisters all wearing the same outfits that my mom made for us.

So when we go out in a public place, zoo, sporting event, etc... It is very easy to spot MY children.

This is going to come across as far ruder than I intend it but...Why do you care? Your kids don't like it. Maybe theirs do. Different strokes for different folks.

I don't think you should let it bother you. You do what you want with your kids, other people do what they want with theirs.

My sister and I are three years apart and my mother used to dress us alike quite often. For one thing, she sewed 99% of our clothes and could easily make two dresses with the same pattern, fabric, buttons, etc. We didn't mind it.
My friend had twin girls and she dressed them alike because they argued constantly if she didn't. If she bought one outfit, she had to make sure there was another one just like it or the girls would fight over it. They dressed alike well into middle school when surely they were old enough to decide for themselves what they wanted to wear. They chose to dress the same.
As far as being individuals, they couldn't have been more different.

So, when you see kids dressed alike, you never know the reasons behind it. Just because your kids don't like it, doesn't mean other kids don't.

Best wishes.

Well, even with only one child I still make the final buying decisions on clothing. I usually determine what my daughter wears daily according to weather, plans, etc. Sometimes I have to force her to wear her rain-boots when she wants to wear flip-flops in the middle of December:) From your description those would fall into the category of not allowing my child to be an individual.

Now really, clothing does NOT solely determine a persons individuality.

But, for the sake of the question....dressing the children can determine a belonging to a family set, which is a form of collective individualism. The parent is making a choice for her family, not yours. This is what is important to her, not you. You have different values, and that is okay. And for the kids complaining about it...kids will complain about many things about their childhood, it is a part of the process. If I directed my parenting by what my child complained about, she would have candy for breakfast everyday and wear flip-flops in the snow:)

I'm not sure about dressing exactly alike, guess it saves on time shopping. i do have a friend that has four young boys and when she takes them out to public places, she has them all in the same shirt same color usually a very bright color so that she can locate them quickly. I don't dress my two alike, but i have noticed that subconsciencely I tend to dress them to match. i will go and pick out an outfit for daughter and then son and then when i see them together they are both in red or outfits that go nice together and it is never done intentionally. i think it is just my mood that day, but I have found it to be weird.

My mom dressed me & my sister alike often and I hated it. My sister was older and usually picked out the clothes and mom just picked on for me, but my tastes were different and it took until 5-6th grade and me just flat out refusing to wear them before she got that we didn't like the same things. So, I'm pretty open to my kid's input about what they wear and what they are comfortable in etc....

I have identical nightgowns for my girls, (8 and 2), i did this because i found them on sale in the sizes and i figured "fine". I have never understood why parents sress their kids alike either until i had two kids. THEY are the ones that want to. I dont buy identical clothes to wear out, but the kiddos and even the husband still find a way to look alike. The other day my oldest was determined to get us all into brown shoes for her birthday dinner. She called us "the brown shoe crew". i had to change my outfit in order to wear my brown boots. This is common in my house,

"hey mommy, me and Lilly are wearing a red shirt, could you wear one too?"

just a little insight

I have faternal twins and I do not like to dress them identically. I will often do same shirt different colors or something similar. In fact when we went to our first pediatrician visit, the Doc said that she wat really happy I didn't dress them alike, and she felt it was important for twins to feel like individuals. And this woman was old school too! I'm talkin, she was my pediatrician when I was born.

They are 2 now, but if they WANT to dress alike when they are older thats a different thing. The thing that bothered me the most was when I was pregnant, how many people got visibly annoyed w/ me when they ased if I planned to dress them alike and I told them no. Quite a few people insisted that I should, and told me it was silly I wouldn't! Well, that just made me want to do it even less! For me, for some reason, I just don't find it cute.

I don't know. I've always wondered myself. I'd never do that to my kids!

I always dressed mine similar... I think cuz you wanna look like a team :)
Once they are old enough to decide they dont want to dress like their sibling that's their choice. But while little I thought they looked cute wearing similar outfits, also helped to keep track of them if we were at the park or some other venue that was crowded.

Individuality is a value that not everyone shares, it's very cultural. Just cause siblings dress alike doesn't mean they aren't their own individual. There are other ways to teach that. I also value teaching my daughters that they belong to a group/community/family as well. My girls love it so I let them. Sometimes when shopping it is easier to just grab a size 2 and 4 of the same thing. It is also easier to locate my daughters when in big crowds like a carnival, Disneyland, street fair, etc etc.

I wouldn't say that ALL kids don't like it. I knew a set of twins, and if the one twin had it, the other twin had to have it too! I also know a group of sisters all close in age. They dress alike (they'll often wear the same outfit but in different colors) and they LOVE it! It's cute to see all 3 of them dressed alike, but each with their own "spin" on the outifit.

Every Summer, we make Summer Shirts, they are all the same color, and we use fabric paints to paint on them, they are basically the same, with slight variations...one year the front of all the shirts said 'Summer, 200?', the back had each person's birth year, and on the right sleeve everyone picked their own (easy) picture, like an apple or a beach ball.
We wear our shirts when we go places with lots of people. The extended family gets a big kick out of it, and it's always easy for the older generation to tell who 'belongs' to me. When we go to places like the zoo people can tell we're all together and tend to avoid breaking up/walking into our group...one year we even made one for my sister who was visiting because she was feeling left out :)

I personally think it is adorable when kids dress alike-especially twins! To each his own I guess. Taste is a subjective thing.

All of my four girls BEG to wear the same thing (match each other, they love it). But- I hardly have any matching outfits. No twins, just close in age (7, 6, 4, 2). It is very cute to see them dress alike...

Since when did clothes "define" a child, anyways?!?! I wouldn't worry about parents not seeing their children as individuals. Every child in my family is blatantly different- it's pretty obvious to parents, so I doubt they try to think of them as the same person.

I know someone who has twin boys and she is still dressing them alike for family occasions. The boys are in 7th grade. They hate it, but she throws such a fit about it that they've learned it's not worth the battle. It is very embarrassing for them.

I agree with "to each his own", but sheesh, 7th grade?

Usually because the kids "demand" it, sometimes because the parents have a very narrow version of what is attractive or appropriate (guilty), sometimes out of cost issues. Esp when kids are very young, 2 or 3 or 4 of the exact same thing decreases fighting about 100 fold, and it's a LOT easier to shop for.

I come from a family of multiples and singletons. It was apx 80/20 on any given day how much the kids wanted to look like each other if they're singletons, and about 60/40 if they were multiples (identical or fraternal). The higher number being

"But I wanna red PRETTY shirt like HELENS!!!! NO NO NO JUST like Helens!" or

"We all need white shirts" (brown shoe crew, indeed! esp when young!)

Identity is a curious thing. We all want to be individuals, and we all want to belong. Then you add in parents who have their own ideas as to style/attractiveness. Kids are notorious for "never" and "always"... when the thing they NEVER liked, was their favorite last week... and the ALWAYS did this brand new thing. Teens and toddlers are the 'worst' at this in my experience and observations.

Are you sure it is even the parents? My boys dress themselves, have since they were 2, and very often they choose to wear the same outfit. Just because you kids do not like looking similar does not mean all children do not like it.

My kids are 14 mo apart. When they were tiny i dressed them alike. They loved it. I used to get many compliments. I think it is cute :) They still have their own personality. Clothes dont change that. It is not like you do it their whole life.

I dressed my boys 8 and 5 exactly alike when the 5yo was a baby until about a year ago but only for holidays. My oldest loved it and then he started complaining so now we do similar colors or styles. I thought it was cute. They still end up dressing alike sometimes cause they like the same clothes and my 5yo is obsessed with his big bro. I have a 10 mo boy and I suggested they dress alike (as a joke) for Easter and my 5 yo was all for it but my 8yo looked at me like I was crazy..I don't think parents are trying to make their kids be someone they are not they probably just think the kids look cute! Do you let your kids pick out every single piece of clothing? And the someone you are talking about are the childrens parents so it's hardly a crime. I would say to you it's not as big a deal as your making it. I would worry about somthing else that is truely harmful to children not what their parents choose to put them in..

My kids sometimes match, but it's not my idea. I have an almost 4 year old girl, and an almost 2 year old boy, and they pick out their own clothes. They have a few sports shirts that are the same, and if one of them picks it out, you can bet the other one will, too. Today they had on matching hockey jerseys and then both picked beige chords. I'm sure people think I do it to be cute, but really, I don't care what they wear as long as it's clean.

I love dressing my boys alike. They are 13 mos apart (but the younger one is very big for his age, so they are the same size) and people always ask if they're twins. My oldest always tells me he wants to be a twin! I figure that when they complain about dressing alike, I will stop, but until then, its cute:)

I don't do it (except for the occasional holiday picture when they were much younger) and don't care if other parents DO do it. I don't think matchy-matchy clothes are gonna result in therapy and repressed memories...It does not even cause a blip on my pet-peeve-o-meter. = )

BUT...! My boys who are 4 years apart sometimes LOVE and MUST dress alike. And it is not just the little one trying to copy his cool older brother. The 10 yr old can turn right around and change in the morning if he sees his little bro is wearing his Joe Mauer jersey. He comes back out wearing his Justin Morneau jersey. Whatever. They dressed themselves in clean, weather-appropriate clothes and what more could a mother ask?

Hi E.-

I had a 'boatload' of kids...all very close in age...so for any 'big' outing, I would dress them all in 'same' t's...perhaps different colours...for 'crowd' control. lol
Also, it made for 'cute' group pics ON these outings. I did much the same when it came to family pics...same tops...different colours.

On a daily basis...not really...but...as 'teens' THEY all kinda wear the same things now anyway...lol

Michele/cat

**ETA**
I still get 'family t shirts' to this day for them all for x mas...the county we live in was/is known as the 'moonshine capitol' of the US...so got a 'rainbow' of these t's for x-mas...and took a family picture in front of our 'plastic pink flamincos' decked out in stocking caps and scarves...was a HOOT!!!

My boys will sometimes dress alike because they want to. All jeans and Bruins t-shirts, or jeans and the same/similar shirts/sweatshirts. I dressed them matchy-matchy for holidays and family pics for as long as they would cooperate because it's cute, and we do all one color top if we're going someplace crowded so that I can easily keep and eye on them and they can find me if we get separated.

To some people individualism means a lot. To other people it is not important and it makes shopping, dressing, and doing laundry easier. Don't see why this should bother you. Jane M stated my sentiments almost exactly.

I am with you. Especially with twins of the same sex. I would think getting the same outfits for each child would get expensive. Much more bang for your buck if you have interchangeable outfits. My mom used to dress my sister and I in similar outfits for professional pictures. It never really bothered us but it probably would have if they had been identical. I assume people do it because they think it is cute and that twins are special and they want to draw attention to the "twin-ness". My aunt and uncle dress in matching clothes and it looks ridiculous (they are in their 60s).

I am with you on this, we shouldnt let it bother us. LOL I kind of feel bad for the kids and that was before I read all these post that the kids might like it. The other thing that gets me is when people name all their kids with the same first letter. BUT it's their kids not mine.

My grandma used to dress my sister and I alike. We liked it once in a while, but not all the time. I had cousins who were twins, and they LOVED dressing the same! Even when they got into high school, they would have certain days they dressed in the same outfit. They each have their own set of friends, and they are VERY different people. They just think it's fun and cute to dress alike. To each their own.

Because they think it's cute.

My girls are 3 and 8 and they ask to.....I probably wouldn't do it on purpose, but a few times they ended up with an outfit from the same line from gymboree and they loved it....They don't do it all the time, but if one of them is wearing something that the other one has, they like to go put theirs on too. And they say "look we're twins!!" I think it is fun for kids who maybe wished they had a twin...I dunno....to each their own, right?

My twins love to dress the same sometimes. I let them choose what they will wear each day. If I find a really cute outfit I always buy two. If I don' t I have to deal with them crying and fighting over it. I have bought different colors but they usually want the same one.

Everyone has an opinion on whether twins should dress the same or not. To each his own. I don't care either way. My girls decide.

I hate it too. However, my eldest (14.5 months older than her sister) has been insisting that they match since she was 2 and sister was 1. Drives me insane since I've tried so hard to avoid it. But they love it and do it themselves so I just try not to stress about it.

My boys are 8 and 5 and often choose to wear the same shirt. They have many of the same that were gifts from an aunt in Texas, an aunt in DC, grandma who travels, etc. They also have lots of matching tractor shirts from tractor shows we attend and they often choose to wear their shirts the same. I don't argue, they can dress how they choose and if they choose to wear the same clothing then so be it.

Who cares anyway?

My sister and I didn't like it growing up, neither do most twins I know.

We had a family like that at school and everyone giggled about it. My kids like to dress alike and I let them if they want to. I mostly like them in coordinating colors, or how Gymboree has similar styles in big girl and litte girl.

But I have a hard enough time sometimes finding matching socks for one kid let alone two exact matching pairs for two kids to go with the exact matching shirts (one of which is probably under someones bed and dirty anyway)! LOL :)

I have 5 and 7 year old girls. They have some of the same clothing. They choose what they want to wear each day. Sometimes they like to wear the same outfit for fun. So maybe (as long as the kids you are seeing are old enough to make their own choices) they choose to dress alike and it's not the parents doing it.

I like to dress my boys alike, especially when we're at places like Disney or flying somewhere. It's easier to spot them or remember what they're wearing. As far as individuality, they couldn't be more different!

My kids are not twins, but the oldest LOVES to match his little brothers. It makes them easier to keep track of in public and it announces "we're family" to the world (one of my sons was adopted & is a different ethnicity than the rest of us, so this matters), so I am all for it.

That said, if I had twins & dressed them alike and they were old enough to say "I don't like this", I'd stop.

My boys (aged almost 6 and 4) like to be "matchers". We have a few things that are similar, and a few that actually match. I figure if they don't care, it makes shopping for them a lot easier... We usually only do it for family photos or holidays.

because it looks cute?

My kids never dress anything alike, but awkward cheesy photos I see of kids dressed alike and hating life are the best. It's not hurting anyone. It's cute! When I see matching kids out and about, its never occurred to me I should be bothered. I personally wish kids had school uniforms in public school so they didn't get obsessed with appearances and peer pressure instead of their studies. Kids still grow to dress themselves just fine. "Being" and individual is deeper than clothing. I know lots of unique individuals in the military. They usually don't dress their kids alike ALL the time. Not all kids hate it. Live and let live.

My mother used to dress my brother and I alike when we were young. We hated it! We felt like her personnel dress up dolls. This is never done for the children, but for the parents enjoyment. I have never spoken to a person who went through this that did not despise it. Some actually resented their parents for it. When my brother and I were finally allowed to dress ourselves, we had a much different style of dress. It was refreshing to be allowed to be individuals instead of the like dressing "boys".

My boys are 14 months apart & sometimes I do buy them matching outfits around the holidays etc, or an outfit similar to what the other is wearing, or like you said in a different color. But I do dress them alike when we go to heavily crowded places like the zoo or a museum. Its easier to locate one of them if they are wearing the same color shirt or even the same exact shirt for that matter. I can scan the crowd for a blond haired boy in a red shirt quicker than trying to remember what he wore that day. I can just look at his brother & know right away. they are still young & don't protest too much when getting dressed in the morning. I am sure this won't happen when they are older, but for right now it works!

I do often, mostly because they like to dress alike... they are two years apart. Usually ti's the same shirt and different shoes/pants... or outfits that are very well matched though not identical. ome to think of it, my whole family including my husband usually matches when we go out. Its' not planned, it's just comfortable.

Also, if they are on a playground or something, and when we are out, it is easier to spot them.

Because I can and because I think it's cute. My boy's are 2 1/2 and 6, and when I have to buy special occasion wear, it's the same.
When they start to care, then I won't fight it.

I guess I've only seen it done for family photos and sometimes dresses made from the same fabric at church. One that's really easy to do on accident is tan pants and white polos for our boys.

My sister is 4 years older than me. For a few years, you couldn't tell us apart. There's a photo that even she and I can't tell who is who! One day, my dad was going to go car shopping, and said that if we wanted to come, we had to go NOW. We both dashed out of our bedrooms at the same instant, both wearing white shirts with blue/white striped shorts. We even both had white headbands! We thought we would die. But we didn't have time to change, so we just glared at each other. I didn't mind so much, but my sister was APPALLED that everyone thought she was 16 and my twin (I was 14, she was 18).

I am one of those children that my mom dressed up to match my sister and I HATED it! I didn't understand why I couldn't just wear what I wanted to wear. Why did I have to match my sister. I felt like an accessory, like a doll. It wasn't like it was every day, but it sure felt like it. I'm a human being with my own personality. Granted, I might have been exceptionally independent, still. I would ask the kids if they want to, if they mind doing it. Eventually my mom stopped around the age of 7... ugh!

I absolutely love it. I had a girl, and hoped for another girl to buy matching outfits, but I got a boy. I would have most definitely been one of those moms. It's just cute.

My sister and I are three years apart, and my mom used to dress us identically. We HATED it.
I was in junior high before my mom started letting me pick out my own clothes.

We dressed our twins alike for about the first year, then started pretty much stopped. It's cute at first, and I still do it occasionally, usually when we go somewhere and I need to keep track of them (like an indoor bouncy place). They're two, so they can't express their own thoughts yet. Some children of different ages do like to match. Sometimes little sisters want to be like big sisters, and the same for boys. My brothers would have some matching shirts (not a lot) and they're three years apart. What works for one family clearly doesn't work for yours, but it doesn't mean one way is better than the other. As long as you know what your children prefers it doesn't matter what others do.

My girls are 20 months apart 3 & 5 now. They don't look to much a like; ones blonde/blue eyes & the other is medium brown with dark brown eyes. They typically want to wear the exact same clothes, so that's why my girls match.

I liked it for a while but since my older one passes down her clothes to my younger one I get sick of seeing the same outfits for 2-3 years.

My mom occasionally my younger sisrer and Iin the same outfits. I detested but my mom and sister enjoyed the experience. It was cute. For me I don't dress my kidss alike.

It used to drive me crazy as well...until the shoe was on the other foot. My boys are 18mos apart. I would buy similar shirts, but different, i.e. different dinosaurs. It became a problem with my older son wanting the shirt I bought for his younger brother. The little one doesn't care so much, but there have been many times when my older son has said he wants to wear the same shirt as his younger brother. For him, it has more to do with liking that particular shirt than wanting them to wear the same thing. It's way easier to just buy 2 and dress them the same than deal with the battles and meltdown!

That gets under my skin so much when parents do that. If they are old enough and CHOOSE to do it because they like to match (me and my best friend did it in high school - freshman year) then okay (I know 4-8 yr olds do that too). But I was watching Too many babies? show where she has 5 quintuplets (2 boys, 3 girls I believe) and would dress the boys the exact same and the girls the exact same it drove me nuts b/c it makes me feel like they are treating them as one person, they were like a year old. I know it's probably hard with quintuplets but it's just a matter of picking a different outfit.

this was done to me and my cousin. we were really close (still are.) its was mostly around christmas. we would get the same things (socks gloves pjs even stuffed animals.) sometimes they were different colors but the same things. all our parties were combined (graduation ect) we laugh about it now because we ended up getting married less then a month apart and we both gave birth to boys who were both 8pds 3oz and born a little after 5pm. we joke that doing the same thing has been programed in us