10 Yr. Old Insomniac

Updated on September 03, 2009
M.W. asks from Frankfort, IL
18 answers

My 10 yr. old daughter started having problems falling asleep during the school year, several times staying up until 10 - 11 p.m. We always just got her back into bed and tried to get her to relax - it seemed like she was getting herself worked up over the fact that she wasn't falling asleep. At that time, it was intermittent, and I really thought that it would stop once school was out and she went to bed later. She always required less sleep than my other kids. However, for the past two weeks since school's out she is up every single night, frequently until almost midnight. I have encouraged her to relax, allowed her to go into another room and read (she shares a room with her sisters), just lay in another room to try to relax, and nothing seems to be helping her have a decent sleep habit. She wakes up at the same time as her sisters, who fall asleep right away, so she's not getting more sleep at the back end. Any ideas on how to deal with her insomnia?

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So What Happened?

Unfortunately, we're still dealing with this issue. We've tried almost everything - white noise, separate room, learning relaxation techniques from a niece that had to learn them for pain management, melotonin, warm milk, etc. We've always had a good, quiet bedtime rountine, and no caffeine, electronics or other stimulation in the evening, so that wasn't an issue. My husband has been hesitant to consult our doctor, but that's going to be my next step because I can't think of what else to do.

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B.B.

answers from Chicago on

My 10 year old son has trouble falling asleep. His dorctor recommended giving him melatonin, which is perfectly safe for kids. It works like a charm!

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

Unless she's exhibiting mood swings, crabbiness, learning problems, behavior problems or something that could be attributed to sleep deprivation, I would just accept that she doesn't need much sleep. I wish I were like that.

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G.H.

answers from Chicago on

Insomnia may have nothing to do with it. Just because it's summer doesn't mean she should be up later. She's only 10 not a teenager. She probably needs physical activity to ties her out. A nice warm shower before bed helps also. Have her in bed at dark except for an occasional hot night when the lighnening bugs are out and the kids can catch them. Physical activity is the key. And bedtime being around dark gives her longer days to play during the summer and shortens itself out going into fall....

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J.S.

answers from Chicago on

I had terrible sleep problems as a child and teen. I would not be able to fall asleep or would suddenly wake up during the night and not be able to fall back asleep. Things that helped me:
Visualization exercise -- you can look up an example online, but basically "picture yourself in your favorite place...." and then go through the 5 senses "what do you see, (feel, hear, etc). Or tense every muscle in your whole body (even your face). Hold for 30 seconds then relax, concentrating on each part of your body (starting at toes moving up to face) until your whole body is relaxed.

Meditation -- concentrate on your breathing, let everything else go every time your mind starts to wander, go back to your breathing. I started doing this when I took a yoga class in college. In fact, you might want to put her in yoga or do yoga with her in the evenings to help her relax. My son is 4 and loves to do yoga poses (he is super hyper and it calms him)

Sleep schedule -- always go to bed and get up at the same time. Sounds easy, but it isn't. Have a bedtime routine that's the same every night (a cup of herbal tea and 30 minutes of reading -- for example)

No caffiene -- no cola, tea, etc
No Tv before bed -- for a lot people, TV makes their mind race
No warm bath, shower before bed -- your body temp has to drop for sleep, so for some people warm bath keeps them up longer

There are also some herbal things. I like Hyland's Calms Forte. They have a kids' version and an adults' version. Other than that, I'd check with your dr before giving her any other herbal things since they are usually formulated for adults.

That's all I can think of. I used a lot of these as a massage therapist for people who had trouble relaxing. Good luck!

1 mom found this helpful
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P.M.

answers from Chicago on

My 20 y/o son has had problems sleeping on and off since he was about that age. I have found a couple of things that help. First, is she having any problems she is afraid to tell you about? Once, my son was having fears he would die in his sleep. Another time he was worried about normal growing boy things such as ~ is he likable, is he growing too slow, is he smart, etc. Talking these things out really helped. I found with kids who share a room, sitting with one in bed before the others helped to get them to open up. They always seem to open up best right before bed (when I'm the most tired). I would take turns who gets to have Mom the different nights.
Another thing that really helped was Coral Calcium. Especially for growing girls. Calcium has a calming effect and too little can really mess with their sleep habits. This is a wonderful way to get their calcium and help them sleep well. She will need to take Magnesium with the calcium as calcium is not absorbed correctly without magnesium. Another trick is for her to munch on celery as she is reading her book in bed. The celery also has a calming, relaxing affect on the nervous system. another thing to think about is that she may not require as much sleep as the others. Is she exhibiting symptoms that she is sleep deprived? Just a thought. I have one who does best on only 7 hours of sleep while another requires 10-11 hours.
Praying your daughter sleeps well, P.

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D.K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi M.!

I had the same problem with my oldest son at that age. We solved it a few ways, and many were discussed here, but what really helped was exercise. Organized sports like swimming, soccer, softball, basketball really do great things for wearing our kiddos out. Before we discovered the sports things, we had some success with other things. One was meditaion where you start with your toes and imagine a light shining through your body inch by inch, it's from yoga but we adapted it to fit our needs, merely relaxing every inch of our bodies (I had to talk him through it a lot). We made a ritual of having crackers w/cheese or peanutbutter and some sleepytime tea, which has chamomile and other good stuff in it to help people relax. Having a full tummy and some mellowing drink helped a ton. We followed that with reading time before lights out - he loved to have 20-30 minutes to chill and read. My daughter is almost 10 now and loves it, too. You get to chill with some music and read, it's very relaxing.

Really I think maybe one of the moms was right to say that if she's healthy and not acting up, maybe she just doesn't need as much sleep as other people. My big guy can sleep anywhere on a dime, but he can also go longer without sleep - good thing too, now he's a fireman in the Air Force! He won't get as much rest as everyone else! lol.

Hope that all helps you.
D.

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C.M.

answers from Chicago on

I would make sure that there are no health issues first and then talk to her to see if there's something on her mind that could be contributing to the problem. After that I would help her to develop a nighttime routine that will help her to wind down and relax. I use holy basil and passionflower. Both are herbs that promote relaxation and ease any anxiety. I am sleeping better than I have slept in years! I know she's only 10 but you would just use an appropriate amount for her age. Melatonin is also a good suggestion that someone else already recommended. Good luck with whatever you choose.

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R.C.

answers from Chicago on

This could be hormonal. I developed the exact same problem when I was 10, and it never improved. Now, I'm 39, and last year, I went to a wellness specialist who tested my hormone levels. The two that control sleep were so out of whack. Natural supplements fixed the problem. In any event, I would not dismiss this possibility in your daughter. Ask your pediatrician their opinion on this.

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S.L.

answers from Chicago on

We use Melatonin for our kids to help them fall asleep. It was recommended by our pediatrician, very safe and it's only 3 mg.

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J.L.

answers from Chicago on

I had lots of sleep problems when I was a kid. There can be many reasons for the problems, though in my case it was all anxiety related. I couldn't stop thinking. If you determine your daughter's trouble is due to anxiety, all the suggestions about helping her cope and relax would be very useful. I wish someone had done those things for me when I was a kid! Don't try to force your daughter into something, though, like forcing her to stay in bed, forcing her to be quiet, etc. When my mom did those things I only got more anxious and it took me even longer to fall asleep. I still do have some sleep problems during stressful times as an adult, but I've learned how to cope much better. Kids don't always have the skills necessary to cope on their own--they need help.

Good luck discovering the source(s) of the problem. I can certainly understand how your daughter might be feeling!

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R.B.

answers from Chicago on

Hi, I can identify - I had this problem and it looks like my 4-year-old is headed in the same direction. I wouldn't get her hooked on substancecs to get her to sleep. I mean, sure, if a few drops of lavender in her bath at night do the trick, go ahead, but I'm doubtful :)

I agree with the person who said it's about thinking too much. What has helped me is (1) not doing anything too stimulating 1-2 hours before bed, including TV, arguments, or anything too emotionally intense. I personally can't read before bed, because I get too involved in the book. So I just kind of relax and do very little. Maybe a craft like knitting if she's into that. (2) some stretching/yoga before going to bed. When the body is relaxed, it's much easier for the mind to relax. If you do the stretches with her, it'll be a nice bonding thing. Also, for me, it was always really important to feel loved and connected before bed - nothing like getting yelled at by my mom to ensure a sleepless night. So try to have a really cuddly bedtime routine.

Good luck!
R.

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C.T.

answers from Chicago on

cut out all caffeine and chocolate (none!), no sugar (juice, dessert) a few hours before bed, no tv atleast 1 hour before bed. that last hour before bed should be quiet activity, and even quieter activity 20 minutes before bed (maybe she has a lot on her mind and spending that time speaking what's on her mind to a parent could help). Wake her up at the same time every morning even if she didn't get a good nights sleep (sleeping in makes insomnia worse). After a few weeks of this and still no help, see your pediatrician.

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D.J.

answers from Chicago on

Have you considered reading to her or books on tape for her to listen to with head phones? perhaps a luncheon wih mom or dad all alone will help her discuss whatever is on her mind...she is processing something that is bothering her ..or maybe she could be over tired...Perhaps a journal for her to write down her thoughts rather than just stewing over things and not relaxing would help...if she writes a list of things to do or keeps a gratitude journal maybe she will be more at peace with herself....Is she getting enough exercise?
Often physical exertion will relax a person for better sleep...This should pass with time...MOM J

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

We all experience occasional episodes of insomnia. However chronic insomnia is a learned habit that can be unlearned. It could be described as a habit of thinking too much. I have found it common in people who are intelligent and very analytical. A thought leads to another that leads to worry or anxious feelings that bring on the fight or flight response. This is a natural protective reaction that happens when we perceive a threat. An example is how you feel when you have a near accident while driving. The body releases adrenaline and other hormones that are meant to boost energy levels to either escape or defend yourself. It is not an actual threat so no real activity follows to metabolize the body's own chemicals. The result can lead to a vicious cycle of more anxious feelings.
You can help your daughter let go of this habit by using a relaxation recording that she can listen to when she lies down to sleep and if she wakes up in the night. You can find these recordings on line or in bookstores. Look for self-hypnosis or relaxation CDs specifically for better sleep.

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N.W.

answers from Chicago on

First I would check her diet. There is caffeine hidden in many things you would not expect...like peanuts. She should not have any caffeine or sugar in the evening.

Also, TV has been shown to keep people awake. So she should not try to watch TV before bed.

You could also cool the room down. A cool room helps people sleep. She may need a small fan blowing on her.

If I were you, I would require that she lie in her bed and not get up and do things. You could allow her to read in bed, maybe get her one of those tiny reading lights so she doesn't disturb her sisters. If she's in a dark room with just her tiny reading light and is in bed and quiet then she should become tired on her own.

Since it's summer, let her lie in bed and read as long as she wants for a week or so and don't say anything, even if she's up late. I think she'll gradually adjust on her own. Focusing on it is just making her more stressed about it.

Good luck! I used to have similar problems falling asleep and my mother made me lie in bed with a book and a reading light and a fan blowing on me. It always knocked me out...and still does :)

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

I'm wondering if something in her life may have changed at about the time that she started having trouble with sleep. Did something stressful enter her life? Did she start taking in more caffeine? Does she take a multi-vitamin in the morning?

Sometimes insomnia is connected with a B-vitamin deficiency, and caffeine destroys B-vitamins, and stress causes the body to use up B-vitamins faster.

Here are some ideas on foods that may help with insomnia...

http://www.askdrsears.com/html/4/t042400.asp

Could this change be connected to hormonal changes in her life? Could it be connected to her approaching her teen years? Teens tend to go to bed later and get up later.

Here are some other suggestions that I found...

http://www.parentsconnect.com/questions/child_insomnia_sl...

And here is a book of suggestions for foods for teens to eat for a healthy lifestyle...

http://www.amazon.com/Lendon-Smiths-Diet-Plan-Teenagers/d...

I also recommend this resource. It's an out-of-print book, but you can probably find it in your local library, or through inter-library loan...

http://www.amazon.com/CHILDREN-Americas-nutritional-expec...

I also recommend this book...

http://www.amazon.com/Prescription-Nutritional-Healing-Z-...

They both have many ideas for the connections between many health issues (including insomnia) and their connections to various vitamin deficiencies and other nutritional connections.

I hope that this helps.

Best wishes,
J.

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D.V.

answers from Chicago on

try some calcium. the old wives tale about milk helping you fall asleep, it might calm her enough to allow her to relax.

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L.T.

answers from Chicago on

I wouuld take her to the doctor. She is an anxious little girl. I have the same problem as an adult and on medications for this. It sounds like you have tried many coping medications. I have meds. to take at night, but not have needed them. I do take anxiety meds. during the day which helps me sleep during the night because I am not as worried about everthing during the day therefore it doesn't come out in my sleep. Is she excercising? This can help..but I would still go to the doctor and what was her school year like. Was she teased? Was she having difficulty with school work she may be decompressing...I know been there done that...These things can make a child anxious...she may just need a professional to talk to about it. I do that too and it helps me because I worry less. The help me with putting my feelings out there and being able to address my emotions in a healthy way...which will address the anxiousness. People like me can have issues with this genetically and/or it can be situational. I would still get her some professional help. If it is nothing then at least it is nothting, but it is no different then getting your eyes checked or any other part of your body that is needing support! I hope this helps.

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