2 1/2 Year Old How to Discipline

All of my kids tried that with me, but they quickly learned that "mama dont play that" lol. All I did was give them the mean eye and one good pop. Not a spanking, but one good pop!

She's learning that she can be independent. You cannot control her need to be independent. You cannot per se control her. You can control your reaction to her misbehaving and thus teach her to control herself.

She runs off. Then she has to hold your hand. Do not give her the opportunity to run off. Prevention works much better than a negative reaction. When you yell like a lunatic, you're having an adult temper tantrum. It's likely then that she's going to also be upset and have a tantrum of her own.

When she's misbehaving, immediately leave the store. You can sit in the car with her until she calms down or if she doesn't go home and try another time. She has to learn that you are in control of your emotions and of the situation.

I would not stay in the store if she's crying dramatically. However, I suggest that she's crying dramatically because you've allowed the situation to be dramatic. Be matter of fact with her, know that most people are sympathetic, and just calmly stand by until she stops crying.

Your description of her actions suggests to me that you're putting up with too much. It doesn't help to try to make it work when it's not working. Tantrums are best when ignored. Running away can be stopped by holding her hand or putting her in the cart. Continued misbehavior can be prevented by leaving the store/mall/party. Those are all consequences for her actions and will teach her to be more co-operative.

You are not a bad parent. You are a parent in training. Decide what you will accept from her in the way of behavior. Then set up the situation so it's easiest for her to conform. Maintain control of yourself. Stop misbehavior before it gets out of control by leaving the location. Practice will make this comfortable for both of you.

Sorry, but 2.5 is a hell age (except for those where 3 is harder)......

Prevention is 90%, but with a lot of it there is nothing you can do. Yesterday my son screamed for 10 minutes upon arrival at the grocery store because the blue car wasn't available. He was tired. I shouldn't have taken him to the grocery store. It was hell. My bad. I don't leave stores, however, because we are there because I need to be there and there is no way I'm not getting what I came for! I stopped caring what others think. I just remain calm, do what I can to managed the situation, and move forward.

Part of it is about you wanting to control your child. Your child wants to be independent and not controlled. It might help if you start thinking of it more as a partnership. Talk to your child as you would talk to a friend. "Streets are dangerous, please hold my hand." If you are putting your child in tons of TOs, you aren't preventing enough. 90% is prevention, and yes, this does mean that when your child is not having a good day that you just stay home.

I try to do my shopping when hubby is around to babysit the kids. 2 year olds hate shopping. When I do have to shop with the kids (including yesterday), I give the youngest a snack to eat while we are shopping. Sometimes that helps keep him happy and distracted.

She can't run off if she is strapped into a stroller. If she's running off into the street or other dangerous situations, then as the parent, you need to take the necessary steps to keep her safe, like strollering her. If you are married/partnered, do food shopping or errands when your spouse is at home, or hire a babysitter for when you must do these things. I never took tiny tots on the weekly food shopping trip or the rare occasion that I'd need to visit a mall.
The best thing to do about tantrums is ignore, just go about your business. If you're out in a public place, take her outside where she can tantrum in her stroller or in the car. When she's done, go back to what you were doing.
Good luck!

Whatever discipline is right for your family - it must be Swift, Certain and Consistent.

At the grocery store I would make her sit in the cart, give her a toy or snack to keep her busy, my daughter is same age, she loves holding all the fruit pretending they are her babies, or I take her to the deli area first and get her one scoop of icecream in a cup, she eats it while we shop. It also helps if I go over expected behavior with her before we go somewhere and make sure she understands what reward she will get if she is good, and what she will lose if she is bad. For example if you are going somewhere give her some simple rules: maybe dont run away from me, listen to me and no screaming. Have her repeat it and tell her several times, before you leave, in the car and before.you get out of the car. Get her excited about a reward, like stamps on the hand and feet, stickers, a special snack, ect. Also let her know what will happen if she doesnt behave, like we will leave and no cartoons for the rest of the day, and no stamps, candy or whatever. You could try playing pretend at home, play with her like you are at the store and how she should act, let her pretend to.be the mommy and tell you the rules, my daughter loves that. Or use a babydoll, have it misbehave and she can tell.it how to act, 2 yr olds love bossing people around, lol. Also show her with the doll how to be good and that baby gets a special treat for being good. Hope that helps and GL.

I have a 3 1/2 year old and a 5 year old, both boys and had the same problems with both. I know it's not easy, but you have to train them on how to behave in public and remember that at this age they want to help and have very short attention spans. Grocery store, give them something to do like put the groceries in the basket, help pick out the apples, etc. State your expectations before you go, even though they don't fully understand, it's still important. Snacks are a life saver for almost any situation, and be careful about the times you do things. Avoid going places during nap time, and like some of the other posts, be consistant. I have left a full cart of groceries at the store, left restaurants, stores, etc. when needed. I only had to do it a few times and both my boys are very well behaved everywhere we go and know the expectations. Good luck

Good variety of responses...my quick 2 cents....BE CONSISTANT!!! And FOLLOW THROUGH!!! Dont threaten and threaten and then do nothing, its worse then just not reacting...and when it comes to dangerouse things (like running into traffic!!)...ZERO tolerance, period. I am not a spanker, but occasionally it really does help to just focus her and bring her back to reality in the moment. The key to spanking in my opinion...dont over use it and do it good and hard or you are wasting time and energy. It HAS to hurt their little butts...or it doesnt affect them in the slightest.
Also, good for you for admitting your 2 yr old is out of hand...that is the most important start! We've all been where you are...it WILL get better...just pick a method and stick to it...good job momma!

Grocery shopping with children is a little stressful. try to make it into something fun for your daughter. maybe make a list for her, i used to draw a picture list when they were too young to read. Have her sit in the cart with the list and as a reward for sitting nicely she may get out and find some of the foods on her list. it will take time so don't rush. If she behaves reward her with a cookie or something she likes. You can buy back packs with animals on them and the tail is a strap for you to hold, they work great for toddlers in crowded places as they still feel free but you don't have to worry about them running, Please ignore all the rude people that comment on it being a leash( because you will hear it) its for you childs safety and your sanity. good luck.

You have some good advice, but I want to say, you are not alone. I have 3 year old twins, one is easy in public, the other challenges me more often, but getting much better.

We moved to a major foreign city in which they have to deal with subways, trams, busses, tourists, lots of fast moving bikes and cars. They now navigate the city with me. What a difference.

The biggest help has been:

Routine, well rested and not tired, going potty before we leave anywhere, preparing my son for transition, and maturity. Oh and mom not yelling, just giving a consequence and holding to. I am learning to say, "It's okay, you can cry. But you won't get what you want when you cry." We have had our episodes. But it is so much better. Every six months seems to be a huge change.

My son needs to be prepared, know exactly the plan ahead of time then step by step as we go, "Okay, we have six stops on the subway, two more stations, getting off at the next station." That detailed. Lately I have to tell him as the bus arrives, "the bus is crowded and you might not get the seat you like, and that is okay." We talk about being polite... This after he had a tantrum the bus ride home. Try holding a gym bag, two bikes and a screaming child who is hitting you on a moving bus. You are not alone. But it never happened again. And he did not get his bike riding time or a treat he was expecting that day. That helped.

There is so much to say... but alas I am a mother and they woke up from a nap. Hang in there! Get some adult time too.

Several things have been mentioned here already, and I will try to reiterate and put them together into a plan.
First, be sure before going out that you've covered these bases: Is she too tired to be going? Has she eaten adequately so she won't be hungry during the trip? Has she gone potty (or have on a clean diaper)? Have you prepared her for the trip, by telling her where you're going and giving her an idea what to expect (including what will happen if she does decide to misbehave)?
Yelling doesn't do any good, as you already know. Make up your mind that as soon as she starts to get out of control, you give her one or two warnings, then immediately leave the area (go outside the store) and have a good firm talk with her. If that doesn't calm her down and restore acceptable behavior, you may end up having to give up on the outing, but usually a firm talking to will help.
By firm, I mean quietly reminding her of what you expect in behavior, and letting her know that the way she's been behaving is unacceptable and won't be tolerated. If you normally give her some sort of treat on an outing, let her know that misbehavior means she won't get that treat, (or even better, some sort of priviledge that she's used to getting, just won't happen).
As someone else suggested, find a little 'job' for her to do to keep her occupied. If in the grocery store, perhaps have her look for something in particular as you go down the aisles. Talk to her constantly about what you're purchasing and give her the idea that she's helping you.

My daughter told me one time that she felt sorry for all the children whose parents either left their child with a sitter, or one parent kept the child home while the other did the grocery shopping. Her reason was that she remembered how much she learned from being with me when I was grocery shopping. She said she learned a lot of concepts in math and language skills just from those trips to the store. I hadn't even realized that I was teaching her as I shopped!

Having said all of this... and I probably could go on much longer than you want to read... are there times when you maybe should find someone to watch her for you while you go out? Perhaps you have a neighbor you can trust with her, either an older person who might just love to have an hour or two with a young child, or another mother who would appreciate the opportunity to watch your daughter once in a while in exchange for you watching her child (ren) when she goes out.

Give all of these ideas some thought and I'm confident that you will come up with a solution that will make your life and your daughter's life much easier and happier.