Seeking Advice on Getting Toddlers to Behave.....

Hi Theresa,

I teach Love and Logic classes because they worked so well for me. I teach privately and group classes. Check out the Love and Logic website if you would like more info. www.loveandlogic.com. Feel free to drop in on the class on Sunday night the 15th at 6pm at the Unitarian center on Abrazo. It's a two hour class and the class is 7 weeks long. It's a very loving method for teaching kids respectful and responsible behavior without any yelling or having to think too hard. Please feel free to call if you have any questions. E. at ###-###-####

NoGreaterJoy.org

Click on the "Child Training" link. they have a bunch of good articles and you can subscribe to their newsletters for free. Watch Super Nanny episodes on Hulu.com. She has a lot of good tips and techniques also. Good luck!

Since you have tried the discipline route and it isn't working the way you would like, why don't you try rewarding her? Before you go somewhere explain to her where you are going and how you expect her to act or what you expect her to do in a way that she can completely understand. Then let her know if she is good you will give her a special treat to eat, or let her do something that she really enjoys and doesn't get to do often, or even let her pick what her reward will be when she gets home. By letting her pick, she might want to especially be good because she is excited that she is picking her own reward (and kids usually pick small, easy rewards!!). If she starts acting out, tell her that if she keeps behaving poorly, she wont get her reward. If she continues acting out then discipline her in whatever way you see best. Otherwise when you are done and it is time for her reward, explain again why she recieved it and tell her what a good girl she was, get her excited that she behaved in the manner you wanted her too. I hope that this might be a good idea for your situation. The key to this though would be the praise to her for how she behaved.

Believe me, I have the same problem with my 20 year old a lot. What has worked for a period of time is bringing little stickers with me and something that she can put them on (paper, a doll, herself?). It doesn't last for hours, but it sure does keep her attention for a period of time when we are in public situations. I look forward to hearing the answers to this, too.

Hello Theresa,

I wish I could tell you it goes away but it usually does not. My daughter is now 3 and still pulls the same tactics on us. She has gotten better but still has her deviant moments. What we have had to do is remove ourselves from the situation. If she would be naughty in church, a store, someone's house, etc. we would warn her and then if she did not control herself we would leave. We have done time out, we have taken things away from her that were creating the problem and sometimes it works and other times she is just going to spazz out no matter what. The best medicine I have found is ignoring her when she turns into a banshee. Obviosuly I would contain her in a public situation but I would not buy into the behavior. I found that the more attention I drew to her misbehavior the more she was fueled to do it. Then it became a fun game to her. If I ignored her then the fun was gone and she would stop out of boredom. I like this solution best because it does not involve yelling, getting angry, spanking, or anything like that and it lets her know I am not buying it and the better behavior lasts longer and works better when she decides it is not working and is boring. It can be hard in public because you will always get the people that will stare at you while your child screams in your arms or throws a tantrum in the shopping cart but if you stick to your guns you will eventually reap the benefits. If you come up with anything else let me know!!