31/2 Year Old Cries Around Men and Won't Say Why

My son is 3.5 years old and has attended a Mom's Day Out class since he was 18 months old. He absolutely loved it until he moved up to the 3 year old room this past January. The teacher was a male. My son is very outgoing and social and had no problem whatsoever with separation anxiety. However, a few days into going to this class he was hesitant, wasn't eager to go, just a complete 180 in his whole attitude about going to class. His teacher is very popular and very funny and charismatic. I seriously didn't think anything fishy was going on, and actually thought it was because he is mostly around females all day. Mom, grandma, female teachers, sister, etc. My husband isn't the loud, boisterous type so I think this personality scared him (which is ironic because my son is more of an extrovert than introvert). At any rate, until he can fully articulate to me as to why he didn't care for this particular teacher, I switched him to a different class. He had a female teacher again that he knew vaguely and it was night and day difference again. Loved school and couldn't wait to go back. So to get to my point, I certainly hope nothing sinister is happening to this little girl, but be vigilant in that regard because you just never know. But it could be that she hasn't been around someone that has scolded her or spoke to her in that manner before. She could just be a very sensitive child. Good luck and God bless!
A.

I'm not technically a mom either. But she's either not used to her dad/brothers using a scolding voice.. Or there's something more going on.

Instead of asking what she's scared of... you could ask her if she ever gets in trouble with daddy? or any other questions that might help lead to an answer. If she has been molested or something along those lines, she's probably not aware that it's not ok and that it's something she SHOULD be afraid of.

I might suggest counseling to the family, see if the professional can find anything. But all in all, unless the child gives you specifics (w/o being coached), there's not much of a case (assuming there's one to be had).

I think she could just be a sensitive child- she may not be used to hearing a man yell if her dad doesn't do that.

She may also have sensory issues and be bothered by loud sounds. My almost 3 1/2 yo DD has that problem and covers her ears and cries when the vacuum is on- I tell her ahead of time to give her the opportunity to go to another room, but she still cries.

Check out this website and see if you notice other things about her that might point to sensory processing disorder. It's not all that unusual. I wish I had known earlier that that was my son's problem. I didn't find out until he was already 11 when his principal suggested it to me. I finally understood why he did certain things that always baffled me.

If a teacher notices it at a pre-school level, it's much better. If it is a sensory reaction, it might make it easier for her mom to understand why she behaves the way she does- even if it isn't problematic enough for her to need occupational therapy.

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/sensory-proces...

Here is some information more specific to school:

http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/problem-behavi...

Best wishes! =o)

- feel free to PM me if you want

I would talk with her Mom.
And just see if she has any insight.
The girl seems close to her Mom.

My niece went through this at about the same age. Nothing traumatic had happened but she was suddenly terrified of men. She would scream and cry if we went out the eat and their was a male waiter. She is 8 now and had outgrown it all by the time she was four or five. She still doesn't like loud noises very much and I think that had something to do with it. The deeper voice bothered her ear or something. Good luck.

It's possible that mom is the disciplinarian and she's just not used to seeing a male be scolding like that. Maybe her dad never gets on to her or just does so in a different manner. It's probably just a phase. My boyfriend has a 3 year old daughter and whenever he raises his voice in anger (even if he's just venting about his workday or something) she gets upset and sometimes cries. I would maybe talk with her parents about it and see if it happens when she's with them.