4 Yr Old Doesn't Wipe

She is only 4. She is not supposed to be able to do a proper job yet. Developmentally they don't do it correctly till 6 to 7 yes of age. Also if she is getting a UTI it could very well be that when she is doing it she is wiping from back to front instead of front to back. This brings the anal bacteria and they cause the infections.

It has been a while since mine were 4, but I seem to remember wiping for them at 2, and teaching them to do it themselves over a long period of time. I really think you have set yourself up for disapointment here by expecting her to be a little adult. She's not.

I hate to tell you this (from experience here) they will fail to do a great many things long after you think that they should have picked up on what you told them to do, and if you get too disapointed and upset about it, be prepared to be "crazy" for a long time to come, because they are going to stun you over and over again. Having them not do what you taught them occasionally is just part of parenting, and if you take it in stride and realize that that is typical, you will feel much better about what seems to be a set back.

Just wait. One day you will realize that she has not brused her teeth for a week, or decided she does not need shampoo, or is using the deoderant on the cat...you will be much better off if you just expect the unexpected and learn to laugh at it.

Been there and laughing about it!
M.

well, give her accurate info for starters. urine is sterile, so while it does irritate her skin, there aren't germs traveling into her body from it. some things just take a while to sink in, and she's really very young. some children have only recently potty-trained by this age. so if it's not something she is ready to take control of, it's up to you. check her a couple of times a day. i would suggest keeping a tub of soft chemical-free baby wipes in the bathroom for her to use (they are gentler and will get her cleaner than toilet paper.) devise a reward system so that if you check her two or three times a day and she stays clean, she gets some sort of reward (or if she does it for a few days straight, you get the idea.) you are applying adult logic to a very young child. she's not being deliberately obtuse, she really doesn't get it yet. but she will. hang in there.
khairete
S.

Urine is sterile so it can't cause an infection. Wiping back to front is a much more likely reason (or not wiping and having feces in her underwear that reaches the urethra).

I had so many UTIs as a child they did a scan to make sure my urinary system was ok. They never did find out what was wrong and after several years they went away.

I have a similar issue with my 4yr old. she "wipes" but she doesn't actually wipe well. She barely gets the area and will wipe back to front (even though I repeatedly tell her front to back). It's very frustrating. I am glad to know I'm not alone...but sorry you're in a similar situation.

The only thing that has "worked" for me was every time she goes to the bathroom to remind her to WIPE! and wipe correctly. I've showed her several times and sometimes she does great and sometimes not. I'm alawys afraid of her getting a UTI.

I agree with Suz....keep some of the moist towelettes that are made for that purpose for her to use. They have some cute ones in the baby section, Huggies brand I think, with pictures of the Disney Princesses on the package! Another problem may be that your daughter may not have the physical dexterity to wipe as efficiently as you would want her to do!! Have you SHOWN her what you would like for her to be doing ?
I also agree with Suz that you are not thinking like a 4 year old thinks...we adults are guilty of that a LOT as we try to reason with young children!! She is probably in a BIG hurry to get out of the bathroom and back to whatever she was doing before she took a potty break. You need to make it EASY for her to keep herself clean, either the wet wipes, toilet paper already torn and folded and in a neat little pile on the counter. Also, ( and this is ME thinking like a 4 year old...lol) I wonder if it would help remind her to wipe if you sit down with her and have her draw a picture to put on the wall where she can see it when she is sitting on the potty. Momma with a big smile on her face because her big girl remembered to wipe, or a bouquet of flowers because she is SO grown up....you get the idea.
If all else fails you may need to be in charge of "clean up brigade" for a while, after she goes potty, until she gets the idea. But whatever happens, stay calm, keep a smile on your face and be positive!!! This is just part of the growing up process.

I hate to say this, but I think it is normal behavior for a 4 year old. My 4 year old wipes, but barely. And she still needs help with her bum. I asked her teachers about this and they said all of the 4 years olds in her class still need help with bum wiping. Front wiping prob still needs assistance and supervision?

I have a boy so I don't have to worry about the pee--but I'm just NOW weaning my son on wiping when he poops. We taught him to do it well enough when he is at school but he normally poops at home and we were still doing it for him--and still do occasionally. When I have let him do it alone he was missing and becoming irritated. Now he can do it alone and won't b/c he's dependent on us but that can be changed too. I would rather have that problem then multiple infections.
On a side note, I had many infections growing up and ended up having a more serious condition that required surgery when I was in second grade. I started having UTI's in preschool and would have at least 6 a year every year until I had my surgery. If you KNOW it's not her wiping, tell her you have to wipe her everytime she goes until she can wipe herself. Taking away independence really helps some kids (obviously not mine lol).

You're doing well, and the below's great, and maybe ask her preschool teacher to help in asking did she wipe front to back?

Good luck:)

wow..i thought that my daughter was the only one that wasnt doing it..she has never gotten an infection, but she does get red and irritated down there...
the ladies here gave me some good ideas..
thanks girls

If she isn't doing it the right way and causing UTIs, then you are going to have to do it yourself. May sound like a pain in the rear but she is still young which makes proper wiping not a understandable concept and at her age and kids are in such a hurry to go back to playing that even flushing the toilet is a time consuming task let alone wiping!!! You might just have to do it for her for the next 6 months to a year till she gets it down. Or you stand there and supervise her doing it and instruct her when she is doing it wrong.

I wouldn't use the moist wipes as those can cause just as many problems as not wiping properly-UTIs and yeast infections because you are adding extra moisture to that area unless you make her stand there in the bathroom with her pants down letting herself dry out first!!

Good luck
S.

At four they still need to be wiped by you.

My son was like that until I bought those moist wipes for him to use. For some reason he thought they were more "fun" to use than toilet paper lol. Whatever you decide to use, make sure they are bio degradable so they won't plug up your sewer lines. I'm not sure if actual baby wipes are. Good luck.

She's only 4. Some 4 yo's wipe pretty well, others don't. My son is 7 and I'm only recently trusting him to wipe himself well enough after a b.m.
You can still wipe her and teach her to wipe front to back. Try wet wipes followed by dry toilet paper. Good luck.

Try the flushale moist wipes. My daughter would got thru the motions of wiping and still not get it done. The moist ones do a better job with using less. She is almost 9 now and still I don't think she does a good enough job, but it goes alot better when I have the moist wipes in the house.