6 yr.old Peeing on the Carpet

At six years old, he's definitely old enough to understand that it's not O.K. to pee on the carpet. No motivation needed, just TELL HIM TO STOP!

Please be gentle with your son in dealing with this matter. I know it is hard to not get frustrated or angry when it keeps on recurring. Much to my regret, I scolded my little 5 year old and put him in the naughty chair when he started peeing in his pants for a couple of weeks before I really delved deeply into the reasons why he was doing it.

I kept on asking him why he was peeing in his pants. Did something happen at school? Was he mad or sad about something? Was he scared of someone or something? etc...He would answer no or I don't know.

In the past he would regress to wanting a bottle or peeing in his pants after visitations with his father then he would re-adjust in a few days.

At the time I was going through some major court battles with his father and I realized he must be picking up on my stress, fears and anxiety. I changed my demeanor around the court case and around my little boy. I decided to stop the naughty chair and the scolding. I used lots of positivity and reinforcement to make him feel completely safe and loved and about not peeing in his pants anymore. I calmed down and so did he. He went back to normal toilet behavior immediately.

Poor little guy was just stressed and worried and didn't know how to verbally express it.

Hope this helps.

It's not exclusively a boy thing. My daughter did the same thing, and it was SO hard to get her to stop! It was a combination of her not wanting to stop what she was doing and simple defiance - the idea that, "You can't make me." We finally did what parenting expert and author John Rosemond calls, "kicking the child out of the Garden of Eden." We stripped her room of everything but her furnture and a few clothes. We told her that we had to protect the house and the rest of the family from her destructive behavior, so she would have to spend the whole weekend, except for meals and bathroom breaks, in her room. It was a LONG day Saturday for everyone. On Sunday after church we went over to her aunt's house, so she really had only 1 day, but it was enough. She FINALLY stopped. I hope your son will respond as quickly - maybe just the threat would be enough. Good luck!

Even a 6 year old can regress during stressful times. Anything new happen in his life. New school, family situation change, etc...sometimes even the smallest of events can be major to them. I would investigate both medical (bladder, colon, etc) issues as well as consider something that might really be stressful for him. It's completely normal and definitely not unheard of in a 6 year old.

I know of a woman who's son was 6 when he regressed and she got verbally frustrated angry with him over it (understandable) and eventually he started hiding his poop in strange places...like in the closet, under the bed, etc...in hind sight I'm sure she would suggest a more gentle approach to solving the problem. :) Later down the road (as we all know hind sight is 20/20 as parents) she discovered that it could have been the combination of her father dieing a few months prior (they weren't all that close and he wasn't heavily involved in her son's life) and school starting up. The stress of knowing when to stop and go potty, was more then he could handle when you add the stress of school demands and family loss (which she didn't think affected him, but it affected her, so in a round about way, it affected him)

Sometimes you don't find an answer, but guilding your child gently back on track is best when they are doing things out of the ordinary. And knowing that just because it's not something you hear about all the time, it can still be in a very normal range. Adding extra stress and frustrations makes it harder for these little ones to help themselves.

Little bit of a ramble there, sorry...in a nutshell, it's normal for regression, try to relax and gently guild your child back to the toliet, as if he were 3 and you were doing the inital potty training. :)

C.,
If your son is developmentally on target then I suspect it is an acting out behavior. Behavior modification (i.e. giving a consequence)is the way to go. I also strongly suggest that motivation for his acting out be explored. Sometimes acting out is a way to express anger or to call attention to other emotional matter OR it is simply a testing of the limits. In any case, being clear that peeing on the carpet and providing a consequence should reduce the behavior while you explore the underlying motivation.
KathyV

He is old enough to clean it up. That should get him to stop!

Good luck!

Is it occurring by accident, or on purpose?
Is he going through any kind of "stress" in his life? Sometimes that can happen.
Is he simply waiting too long to go pee, and so by the time he "has to" go it's too late and it ends up on the carpet?

Other than that, ask his Pediatrician...I'm sure they have heard of this before. Or even to just rule out any medical issues...

How is he handling this at school? Or does he just do it at home? Any pee accidents at school? Anything happening at school that is upsetting him?

have you tried just asking him "why" he does that? Or has he seen anyone do this and copying?

Good luck,
Susan

Hi C.:
I'd like to respond,but could use some more info.How often does your son do this? Is it when hes half asleep? Does he do it in front of you? or hides? Have there been any drastic changes in his life? like a move? or marital problems?It really would help, if I knew a little more.

There are some great motivators for using the toilet...reward charts with prizes(!), extra hugs and stories for using it, or even creative targets you can actually make and put in the toilet and let him take aim and pee on it. Make it fun and exciting and very, very positive. On the other hand, try to be as UNemotional as possible if he pees on the carpet. No big yelling lectures from you - just a swift "NO" and removal from the "fun". But on the contrary, when you use the toilet - it's the best thing and brings lots of praise. It'll work, but don't make it a huge issue. At this age, phases last only a short time.
Good luck,
M.

I think you need to talk to him. This is something more than "a boy thing". Maybe he is having a fear of the potty? I would talk with your son and then with your dr to get help with this.

Based on the information you provide, I'd say it isn't normal. But like Julia asked, is he sleeping, is this new behaivor, etc?? My son is 3 years old and has yet to pee on the carpt on purpose. Just a few times during the potty training portion of his life.

M.

Hi C., is your soon peeing his pants on the carpet? or peeing on the carpet? This is not a boy thing, I have 2 sons, and i have boys in my daycare they don't pee on the carpet. I think you need to lay down some firm discipline, before your carpet is ruined and you house starts to smell. J. L.