7Yo Pooping in pants...sad.

Sorry, somethings's amiss. Instead of having his grandmother say something to his mom YOU should. She more than likely won't do anything as she's enabled and encouraged this behavior for several years now, but he should see his pediatrician at the very least. Poor guy, how would he feel if he went on a sleepover at a friend's and did this? What a rude awakening he would have to be laughed at and made fun of!

Bed wetting while sleeping is very normal for a 7 year-old. Pooping during the day time in the hallway is not normal and should be dealt with, by seeing a doctor first and a psychologist next, if there is no medical issues.

My stepdaughter pooped in her pants when she was 8. She was with me when she sat down on the floor in a grocery store, just like she used to when she was 2, and pooped in her pants. We found out only later that during this time, she was in a LOT of stress at her mother's house including her mother's husband losing his job, them talking about moving (again), and her stepfather physically abusing her older brother in front of her.

Your nephew needs the adults in his life to help him. Starting with you speaking frankly with his mother.

I have a friend whose son had the exact same thing Rebecca B. described. He always had constipation problems.....then he would hold it because it hurt to go. After a while, he became so backed up that bowel movements would just happen without notice.

This does sound like a medical problem that needs to be looked at.

My son was about 6ish I think when he started pooping his pants. To this day he still wets the bed nightly at 12 ( really hoping he will out grow it soon!). After a month, I took him to the ped because this was not normal for him. She told me that he also was just probably preoccupied in what he was doing and was waiting until the last minute.

Then a little while later ( maybe a week or two) he started getting such sharp pains doubling him over. We took him back in and this time they did an xray and they found out he was so constipated. It was backed up literally to the base of his stomach and that if we didn't get him cleared out with in a couple of days they were afraid it could tear his intestines. He also didn't eat or drink much because when he did it would hurt so bad since there was no place for it to go. When he was having the accidents, his body was literally pushing it out with out notice.

I was amazed... and grossed out at the same time... at how much came out of him over a 3 day period! It turns out he had one that hurt when he went and after that he was afraid it would hurt again so he started holding it. After a while he got use to the feeling and holding it that he didn't even have to think about it and it almost came natural for him to hold it. After that we had to "retrain" his body to go normal again. We had to write down every BM he had and he couldn't go a day with out having one or we gave him an enema before bedtime. After a month he was back to normal.

I would suggest that his mom start giving him one laxative a day and upping the fiber in his diet and see if it makes a difference after a week.

Good luck!

He needs to see a Dr. now, talk to his mother about this.

For one thing, children can have accidents at this age, but he is already being traumatized by it. He sounds like he is having difficulty, and picking it up with his bare hands, that is so sad and disgusting. A lot of older kids have bathroom issues when they are stressed, traumatized, abused, during difficult changes... he needs help.

If you know his pediatricians name, I would send him a short letter.

I agree that his mom isn't doing enough on her end and should really focus. Telling him that it's ok is the wrong thing to do. There is no urgency for him to stop. THey are being to nice. I'm not saying scare the kid to death, but being a little more stern in the instance is definately warranted.

Aside from that there may be something else going on. I know when I am super nervous about something I have to go really bad. What is going on in his life? Any stressful situations in his life that maybe he can't cope with?

I agree. It sounds off to me and I would make sure the pedi knew if it were my child.

I know it is difficult to talk about things of this nature, but you have to press the subject for the sake of this boy. He can't help himself so it is very important for someone to reach out and get him the help he needs. There is no way he will develope normal socially if he is having accidents like this. He will be made fun of at school and no one will want to play with him. It is not fair to him...he needs and deserves help to figure out how to resolve this problem soon! Good luck and be persistant for his sake.

Sorry I haven't read the other responses as I'm in a bit of a rush, but wanted to say my oldest daughter had a good friend that had a similar problem. Her father is a doctor so they had her on Miralax and explained that she would wait to long to poop and then it would just sort of explode out of her. The problem just kept getting worse instead of better; at one point they were having her seen by a psychologist. Finally they took her to a gastroenterologist who did a rectal exam on her. She really hated that and never wanted to have to see that doctor again. Miraculously, the behavior stopped. She 'slipped' a couple of times but her parents would say, 'Oh, I guess we need to go and see Dr. So and So again,' and it immediately stopped again. Bottom line...she was the youngest of 3 children and was basically using this as an attention getter. All the attention of the whole family was focused on her during all of these 'episodes,' so it was working for her. Once they found a deterrent (the doctor with the evil finger), she no longer had the problem. I have no idea if this is what is going on with your nephew, but it certainly wouldn't hurt for him to be seen by a pediatric gastroenterologist. Good luck!

There was a boy in my class that did this until he was well over 10. Yeah we made fun of him. As an adult I feel bad but we were kids, ya know. He always did it when he was scared or stressed. Not sure if he outgrew it or they did something. Like kids we really didn't care, sorry.

actually, in response to one poster who said that they are being too nice: the only thing this mother is doing right is telling him that it's ok and trying not to make a big deal about it in front of him. adding stress and shame is absolutely not going to help the boy or the situation. other than that, as people have said (and I just want to reiterate b/c it sounds like you really want a quantity of answers, maybe so you have ammunition to take to the mom?), there are really only two reasons for a child to regress to pooping in his pants at this age: psychological and medical. both of these reasons REQUIRE an immediate trip to the pediatrician.

your first line of defense is talking directly to the mom. try to be gentle and empathetic. she may be scared and embarrassed herself, and not willing to face how dangerous/serious this could actually be. she may feel like the pooping is a reflection on her parenting when in fact it might be totally physical. she needs to know that finding an answer will be a relief, and will not result in blame being shifted to her (even if it's psychological; unless she's actually abusing the boy, of course). and she needs to understand that, no matter what, this kind of regression needs to be addressed by a professional.

if the mother denies, or blows you off, or otherwise indicates that she's not going to take the boy to his doctor, then your only other option is to write a letter to the pediatrician, as someone else suggested. you can't talk directly to the pedi; he's prevented from talking to you by privacy laws. but a written letter from you will find its way into the boy's file and the next time the doc sees him, the doc can be proactive about talking about it and starting to look into it, even if she never brings him in for any reason other than the annual check up. just list out the facts, what you've seen, and note that the mother is not trying to get help for the condition. let the doctor draw his or her own conclusions and make his or her own decisions about what actions to take (or not to take); your letter is for the purpose of informing the child's doctor of a medical (or potentially psychological) situation. beyond that, let the professionals do their jobs.

and I should be clear: this step should be taken if and only if you talk to the boy's mother, tell her your express concerns, and she chooses to dismiss you and/or the situation. if she's willing to take the boy to the doctor herself, then there's no reason to get your nose into somebody else's business. but if she won't, then you do need to do something. it's actually a really big deal if this goes untreated.

good luck.

He should go to the Dr, at least call the Dr & talk about it.

I agree that this is a sign that there could be some issues going on, but how do you know his mom hasn't asked the pediatrician about it. Since he stayed at your house, you have every right to speak with his mom and ask her what his pediatrician has said about this type of issue and if there is anything you can do to help especially while he is at your house. That way you don't sound like you are accusing her of not taking care of her son. It sounds like you may not have all the info or know all the circumstances but it's definitely cause for concern and I think you should try to find out more info and see if you can help. That is just my 2 cents.