K.J.
Hi,
You sound a lot like me! (older (well age is just a number, right?? and married for 20 yrs Weds!)
We went to my nephew's wedding this summer on the Jersey shore. Fortunately, they were registered (shame on your friends! Whatsup with that?? We all need direction or you'll end up with a blue table cloth when you hate blue! I ended up with one at my wedding despite the fact that I was registered at several places.)
Anyways, I don't know about you, but I think it's safe to say that we all needed money (alot!!) starting out. We gave my nephew something on his registry for the bridal shower but gave him a check for the wedding. I personally think one gift to remember you by is enough...give them the cash for the rest! Now, what gift??? There, I can't help you as everybody has such different tastes. What I would suggest however is pin them down (or someone close to them) and find out their favorite store. Get them a gift card from there and tell them to buy something at that store from you.
They also have so many beautiful platters, chip /dip at Macy's but again, are they fancy people or beer and chips out of the bag types? Well good luck! You're the first letter I could relate to as mt kids are not babies!
K.