Advice on Books for Raising and Disciplining Toddlers

We just finished covering this in my church's mom's Bible Study! We used Boundaries with Kids, by Henry Cloud and John Townsend. It teaches realistic limits, and with your so young, it can just become a part of how she's raised, without having to backtrack. It teaches things like, as a parent, you shouldn't need to do the "1..2...3 - you're now in trouble", but that they need to listen and obey the first time.

When our first was around that age, we used hand slaps for some things. It may have taken a time or two and sometime 20, but he would get the idea. Don't let what others might think distract you from how you want to discipline, your only goal is to raise safe, respectful and thoughtful children.

Congratulations on the new addition coming!

You are so wise, J., to be proactive in your search for wise advice. Though I have not read all his books, I have heard parenting "expert" Dr. Ray Guarendi speak, and I think he is right on the money when it comes to discipline issues. You can see his book offerings at http://drray.com/product.htm.
Congrats on your soon-to-be new arrival!
God Bless,
A.

I have read a couple of books but the one that I think is important is titled "No: Why Kids of all ages need to hear it and ways parents can say it" written by David Walsh. The book covers a lot of really good points. A description of the book I copy here from Amazon....

From Publishers Weekly
Psychologist Walsh (Why Do They Act That Way?), president and founder of the National Institute on Media and the Family, tackles a tough subject in this book on how parents can say "no" to their kids and why they should. Walsh argues that we are raising our children in a "Yes" culture that gives kids the message that they can and should have whatever they want whenever they want it. But scientific research, the author contends, reveals that children's brains are primed to learn the concept of "no" early on; in fact, Walsh points out, instant gratification is not the path to resiliency or success. On the contrary, our "yes" culture leads to disappointment and failure when kids later learn that they can't always have their way. Walsh's approach fosters such qualities as perseverance, patience and commitment, emphasizing a balanced parenting style that is neither predominantly negative nor permissive. In age-by-age chapters, he chronicles the developmentally appropriate use of the word, revealing how it helps children grow into self-disciplined, well-adjusted adults. Peppered with anecdotes of other parents' struggles as well as examples from raising his own three kids, Walsh's reassuring voice will give parents the courage to just say "No"—and mean it. (Jan.)

Check out the book...you can probably get a pretty cheap copy on Amazon.

I don't have a recommendation specifically for toddlers and discipline, but I wanted to share something that I recently learned and have found helpful. Before the age of 18-20 months toddlers are basically "incapable of misbehaving"; that is to say that until that point/age their behavior is not meant to anger/frustrate/annoy you (even though it does) because they are unable to understand that what you want and they want might be different things. They can't think, "Mommy isn't happy with me for throwing things off my high chair" because they are enjoying it so much...they think "if I like it, Mommy likes it". Until this shift in their thinking your best bet is to distract and redirect. It will get better!!

123 Magic

You Can't Make Me, But I Can Be Persuaded

These are great books, but might not work until she is a little older....we started using the tactics closer to age 2 with a lot of success. I found both at our local library.