Advise on 15 yr.old Teenager

D. goodluck with the teenager, i have a almost 15 year old daughter and she has her smart mought times.. I have hardly met any teenagers especially boys who are respectful to adults at Northmont let alone their parents..

I had to take everything away from my daughter at the end of last year, no cell, no internet (had it shut off.) no parties movies etc.. yeah it kinda punished me.. but oh well it got me the repect.

Hope this helps
J.

We have go through this same thing. Here are my suggestions:

1. Book called "How to raise your out of control teenager
2. Get counsesling - and yes it did help. Just having some one to say that you were not being unreasonable and to give suggestions is great.
3. Right out your rules including what the consequences are for breaking said rules, both positive and negative.
4. As hard as it is, try to make time for your teen - even if it is just lunch. They act like they do not want to be with us, but they really do.
5. They sell home drug testing kits a Meijers. A lot of this behavior stems from smoking pot and all the hiding that goes with it.

Good luck to you!

ok this is a hard one! i dont want to say it but you need to watch for odd behaver. has anything changed in his or the families life? that could make a teenager change his attitude.

HI D.! I have a 14 year old daughter who is rude, disrespecful, and down right rude to my other children. She is bossy and seems to think that she "rules the roost". Well, she doesn't! So far we have told her out right that her behavior is wrong - has done no good, and now we take away computer priv. and such. Good luck as you will need it !!!!!

hey i am having the same problem with my 14 year old

HI D.
This is not normal for a teenager to be rude, mean and disrespectful. Something is going on with him. I have 4 children and my first 2 were not like this. My 3rd child, which is my son, his grades were slipping and seemed angry at times. I talked till I was blue in the face. I even took things away. I also told him no driver's license till his grades were brought up. I had a conference with all his teachers. I ended up taking him to a psychiatrist and found out he was ADHD at the age of 16. What a different child he is now. Same personality but his grades are now A's instead of c's and d's. I felt as a parent before the punishment was too severe I owed it to my son to make sure there was nothing going on with him. I am not saying that your son is ADHD but teenagers are under more presssure these days. Before everything gets too far out of hand and he starts doing something worse I really believe you should seek professional help. Wishing you and your loved ones well.
D.

My son is going to be 18 in june. he has been unruly for years. he tries to run the show at home but lately i put my foot down. he smoked pot, drank alcohol, sneaked out at night, cussed, got kicked out of high school, bad grades, etc. finally he got his girlfriend pregnant and now i have a 3 month old grandson. he wont get a job to help support his child and still doesnt do enough in the modified school he attends. i should have been more strict on him sooner. it is so much work and you get so exhausted, plus i have been a single mom. i have a 16 year old daughter and a 3 year old daughter. i am married now but he doesnt get involved since they are MY kids. ive had to call the cops on him a few times too. he's a little better now that i stick to my guns. if he doesnt straighten up soon, i will show him the door when he turns 18 and i wont feel bad about it. he wants to move out probably worse than i want him to. he has no clue about life and i think he is only going to learn by experience. he wont listen to me. i know he is a good kid in his heart and very intelligent but he chooses not to go down that path at this time and im hoping he will change when he naturally matures. i hope you nip it in the bud while you can. good luck!

Dear D.,

I know this may sound drastic but you might want to find a therapist for your boy. I have a 14 year old stepdaughter that is mean, rude and disrespectful to anyone and everyone that isn't her friend at school. She's been seeing a therapist for a month now (about one session a week) and it _seems_ like it's helping her. Around the ages of 13 - 16, kids go through this stage where they reflect on things that have happened throughout their life and wonder why everything is so different. It's pretty much the teen version of a mid-life crisis. _Apparently_ this is very normal. I know hearing that doesn't make you feel better, but every kid goes through it. Some have a much harder time dealing with "growing up". A therapist is someone your child can talk to without feeling judged because the therapist is not in your family. He may feel like he can vent easier. My husband and I are desperate too, we even threatened our daughter with the intent to send her to a private school. Hopefully you have insurance that covers therapy sessions; I truly believe that your son just needs someone he can talk to about everyday teenage stuff.

- T.

Take priveledges away. I have two teens that are back to back along with an 11 year old. Take his prized possessions for a while until he straightens up and the grades come up. Take the computer, his friends away, the phone any of these items. If he is he very unruly, the judge down at the childrens detention center will give him a tour of the center.
C. L.

Wow, I thought you were describing my stepson (who is also 15) for a minute. He is normally a great kid. He was extremely involved in our church youth group. But all of that has changed in the last month or two. He has distanced himself from our church (as well as his mom's church), major attitude, letting his school work slip (was on honor roll kid). Major attitude! I wish I had some advice for you.... but I myself am struggling.

you said lately which means he wasn't like this in recent past. Pay attention to what he is doing along with how he is acting. Has his friends changed, did he drop out of or join any new groups lately. Does he have any new friends or stopped talking to old ones. I know its hard to get into a teen's mind but look for clues that could tell you things and casually ask questions. Kids hate it but try to know the people he is hanging out with. Be aware of his life, know where he's going, what he's doing and who he's with as much as possible. If he's not hanging out with old friends and not really making new ones, the old ones could have picked up a habit that he didn't like and he's conflicted on how to deal with it. If he's made new friends they could be influencing his behaviors. Look at your behavior and his fathers, have ther been any family changes? As much as we hate to think of it, any and almost every teen is going to experiment with drugs and or alcohol at some point. Pay attention to his eyes and if he's able to look you in the eyes, look for glassy, red, small pupils, squinty - I'm sure you know the signs. No matter what the cause is you need to be a strong parent and let him know that this behavior will not be accepted and there will be consequences.