Advise on Taking Away Pacifier

Updated on February 09, 2012
L.D. asks from Joliet, IL
24 answers

Hi everyone, I have a little girl who just turned 2 last month. She still takes a "passy" but only during nap and bedtime. the pacifier is not allowed to leave her room. She has been very sick this winter and i decided to take her pacifier away today. I cut the tip and told her passy was broken. She layed in her bed and screamed and sobbed for almost 2 hours (with me checking on her to try and calm her every 15 minutes or so) she finally ended up vomiting in her bed she was so upset. I broke down and gave it to her and she was asleep within 4 minutes. Everyone , including daddy, is telling me she is too old for it and to just take it away but she needs to sleep! Any advice??

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A.B.

answers from Chicago on

What we did is consulted the Farmer's Almanac and when a calf is weaned from his mom is the right time to take a pacifier away. Let her throw it away in the trashcan and say bye to it when she does and she will not look for it again. That's what we did for my daughter and son.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

Just let her have it. You already have restricted its use to the bedroom, who cares that she has it there? Yes, she needs to sleep!

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A.D.

answers from Minneapolis on

We cut the nipples off the plastic handles of all of my older DD's pacifiers. We told her the "nuki fairy" came to take them from big girls and give them to tiny babies. The fairy also left a book as a gift. She only had one tough night, but I still remember just how very sad her little face was looking at the pile of plastic handles. I would not recommend it doint it that way. I had to pack them away out of her sight, she wanted nothing to to do with just the handles. I wish we did not save them out for her to see. Better if they were just taken altogether.

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S.A.

answers from Chicago on

I took my 2 yr old son's pacifier away in December. I did it cold turkey. We told him it was lost, and every time we put him in his crib we'd say we're going to go look for it and we'll bring it when we find it. He cried for a few days (10-20 mins) He gave up napping for a few days, but then he adjusted. I am so glad I broke down and did it then. My older two kids were both 3.5 when we finally forced them to give it up and it was much harder.

I would say let her skip her nap for a couple of days if she screams longer than 30 mins. She'll be so tired at bedtime that she'll fall asleep without much fuss. Hopefully then, she'll adjust in a matter of a few days.

Good luck!

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H.D.

answers from Dallas on

If you are the main caregiver, I say go with your gut. If it is only bothering the outsiders leave her be with it. If it bugs you, then keep looking for the magic method that works as no kid is the same in how they rid their pacifier. To be honest, each one of my kids gave up their pacifiers in their own time and not one of them made it to age 3 with one. Sometimes you have to let the child feel comfortable with giving it up by themselves so they don't feel like you are such a mean and untrustworthy of a person. GL!

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C.M.

answers from St. Louis on

My son is 2.5 and only has his at bed/naptimes and occasionally in the car (if we'll be in the car around nap/bedtime). Hubby and I are going to take it away for good when he's 3. We are already telling him that when he's three, it goes away to the babies becuase he will be a big boy and will get a bike (that's my parents doing!). He keeps saying he's going to get a monster truck (LOL). So I haven't gone through it with him but we did with my daughter - cold turkey when she was 2 years 3 months. She cried a few minutes the first night (after asking for it and me telling her she's too big for one now so they were gone). Cried maybe 5 minutes the 2nd night and whimpered then went to sleep the third. I think it's harder on us honestly!!! But I say that knowing my son still wants his when he goes to bed. It's hard when they sleep SO well (as my son does). I realize it may come with a few sleepless nights but it's worth it in the end. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Kansas City on

We didn't take the bink away until my daughter was almost three. We were going through many transitions and in essance felt bad so we let her have it for that long. What worked for us was telling her a story about the bink Fairies . . . they would swoop down to littler girls & boy's homes to take the binks to all the newborns that needed them :) A little cheesy but it worked. She had three binks left at this point so for three nights we would put one bink each night into a basket and when she woke up she would have a surprise as a thank you from the fairy. We never bought anything expensive . . . small toy, coloring book, etc and it worked. We are about to take them away from my son but he is truggling to understand the concept compared to my daughter but she very much remembers the bink fairy :) Good luck to you!

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S.L.

answers from Kansas City on

I would let her have it for a while longer. She just turned two and is not ready to give it up and only has it at nap and night so it isn't like she's walking around all day with it in her mouth. Just stick to nap/bedtime for awhile. Our kids were different ages when we took theirs and they all are different and none went to school with a pacifier.

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B.B.

answers from San Antonio on

Each situation is different. Do what is right for you and your family. This is what worked for our son:

He was 2 years, 3 months, and still used it at night, but that was about it. His younger sister had never taken to one, so the ones we had in the house were just for him. I mentioned to my dad while he was visiting that I wanted him to be done with it sooner than later, and definitely before summer. The next day while my son was at daycare, my dad took them all and threw them out. My son asked for it that night at bedtime, and my dad told him he was a big boy and didn't need it any more. There was a couple minutes of questions (where they went, could we buy new ones?), and then he went to sleep. That was that - never an issue again. I think we had been making a bigger deal about it than it really was - making it harder on him. My dad simply taking them away and then telling him why was so easy.

Good luck with the route you choose!

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J.J.

answers from Chicago on

With my daughter's binky, I would sterilize it in hot water once in awhile so I started with cutting the tip off when I sterilized it once and then each time, I cut it down more and more. I just told her that when it got cleaned, it kept shrinking. She was finally down to barely anything left and just decided it wasn't worth sucking on anymore. I did keep an eye one it to make sure there were no lose pieces that she could choke on.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Tell them you tried to take it away and she started sucking her thumb. That is the worst thing to have to try and take away and it ruins their bones in their jaw.

A pacifier is such a NON big deal. She will put it down when she is done with it. There is NO reason she can't have it for years to come. They are shaped to fit the mouth, they are there for them to suck on when they need it, etc....it is much easier for her to put down at some point in the future than a finger that is always there, easy to access.

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C.K.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter just turned 3 and still has it most of the time. Leave it alone, it is security for her, she won't go to college with the thing!

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S.L.

answers from Champaign on

My son was about 2 when his were only for nap and nighttime. I tried taking it away during those times - but let's face it - after a couple of restless nights, i realized that we needed sleep as well as him and i gave it back. The problem we had is we had tons of them since they weren't sold in the stores yet, my MIL ordered a bunch offline. Slowly, I started throwing them away and we ended up down to about 3 of them, and then i started to poke holes in them. Finally, he would just "hold" them. One day he threw one down and couldn't find it. He took his nap just fine and slept thru the night, knowing that "he" lost it. We found it and kept it "in case", but he was fine. He was a around 3.

Remember to do what works best for your family - and don't let a lot of people influence you.

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J.F.

answers from Bloomington on

Oh....it so depends on the kid. With our first we took it away cold turkey when she was 21 months. We picked a long holiday weekend to do it. The first night she cried for 20 minutes or so and each nap and bedtime was better.

Now with our youngest who is 22 months, I do not see it going that smoothly. AT. ALL. We've limited her use to just nap and bedtime and have been talking about giving it up to babies who need them and how old she is getting.

I've also been waiting for her to have a better vocabulary to talk about what we are doing. It is going to be HARD.

The only advice I would give is to put it off for a bit longer and then try it again.....but don't give in. Go into it knowing once you start you can't give in. So hard isn't it!?!?!?

It was also good to read that no one thinks 2 is too old. :) That buys me a little more time, right??

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A.M.

answers from Champaign on

I tried going cold turkey with my son when he was right around 2. Everyone said to cut the tip and tell him it was broken and within a week he'd be over it. ONE MONTH later he still wasn't sleeping (and neither was I) and he was crying for it all the time. I finally gave in and gave it back to him. It became clear that it had to happen on his own terms. My husband hated that he had it - even though he only used it at nap time and bed time - and that became a sore spot in our relationship for a while. At 3 I started telling him that the Paci Fairy would come and take his pacis to a baby that needed them now that he was a big boy. And as they started to wear out I would have him throw them away. We finally got down to only having one usable paci in the house and one day he couldn't find it when he woke up. He asked me if the Paci Fairy had come and taken it during the night. I took that opportunity to say yes, she must have. Because we had been prepping for him that, he was totally okay with it. After a successful week without the paci, I left a note from the Paci Fairy saying how proud "she" was of him for being such a big boy and left a small gift. He turned 4 in November and has been without his paci for about 6 months. He does still ask about it occassionally (he was very attached) but sleeps fine without it. I think he just needed to do it on his own. You might find your daughter needs to make that same transition.

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K.L.

answers from Chicago on

Went through this 3 wks ago, with our 2 1/2 yr old daughter. She was only allowed to have it during naps and bedtime. We told her that she was too old for it and that she had one last night to enjoy it. In the morning, we walked her down to the trash can and told her to throw them away and say "bye-bye" to her pacifiers. She did it and never looked back. Of course, when she wasn't looking, I took them out and washed them, just in case this didn't work. Luckily reasoning with her and making her throw them away herself, worked for her.

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R.M.

answers from San Francisco on

Yeah, let her have it. Try again in 6 months. A passy won't hurt her. Too old for it why? What's going to happen to her if she keeps using it? Nothing.

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B.M.

answers from Chicago on

I threw them all away and never bought them again. Explained to my two year old that he is a big boy now. He cried for an hour then it was done. I think you gave in too quickly. Don't calm her let her do it on her own.

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K.W.

answers from Seattle on

2yo is not too old. It totally depends on the kiddo. And your kiddo sounds like she still needs it. She only uses it during naps and bedtime, so it's not going to hurt her. And our ped dentist said with moderate use, it shouldn't hurt teeth until they're older than 3yo.

You already snipped off the end. Every week, snip a little bit more off the end. Eventually, it's not going to be fun to suck on. And, bonus, you LO can still hold it and sleep with it. No harm, no foul. Our oldest had a "broken" binky for around 6 months before she lost interest. She would hold it while falling asleep. Some kids just need a little extra something to help soothe them.

L.S.

answers from Fort Collins on

My son LOVED his. We finally took it away at 2.5yo. Yes, it was a very difficult couple of days. Yes, he screamed. Yes, he got to sleep on his own. Yes, I was exhausted but no, we didn't give it back. Yes, he is a great sleeper now.

Try telling her you will give her a new big girl lovie for sleeping - stuffed animal, blanket, music player, etc. She might not take to it right away, but it will be there if she decides she needs something to help her get back to sleep. Build it up as a reward for being a big girl, not a punishment for still wanting her pacifier. It will be hard for a couple days...maybe even a week...but you will both survive and be fine and be so glad you did it. :0)

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L.B.

answers from Chicago on

If she starts sucking her thumb instead, you will NEVER get it away from her. Whatever you decide, make sure you check on her when she's sleeping to make sure she hasn't switched to her thumb.

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K.R.

answers from Chicago on

My daughter was HUGELY attached to her binky....as was I to a certain extent, as I was terrified of her giving it up and never sleeping again : ) We actually allowed her to keep it until she was over two and a half, for bed time and nap time only. When we finally decided to take it away, we had the "binky fairy" leave a note for her that she was coming to take the binkies away. That night we had my daughter wash off the binkies and leave them in a bag for the binky fairy. It was a tough first night, as my daughter was nervous about being without her binkies, but the fairy angle got her excited about the change instead of just sad. The next morning the binky fairy had taken all the binkies away and left my daughter a special toy. She was overjoyed! She definitely mourned the binky for a few days after that, and asked about getting it back, but all in all it was pretty easy. So that's an approach you might want to consider, to help ease her through the transition.

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K.L.

answers from Washington DC on

My youngest was 3 when we took it away, cold turkey. At that age, I had a somewhat "rational" conversation with her about how she was too old for it. I think she understood, because she didn't put up a fight. If I were you, I'd let her have a while longer. My oldest actually gave up her paci when she was less that a year, only because she was staying with grandma for a few days and grandma lost it! Apparently it didn't occur to her to buy another one. When I came back to town my daughter no longer needed it and I was actually thrilled! Something I wouldn't have to worry about down the road! Fast forward to today, and I'm not so thrilled. I have a 10 year old thumb sucker!! That's what she turned to when she didn't have the paci as a baby. My youngest never sucked her thumb, and I think it's because she had the paci as long as she needed it and then was done, with ALL the "soothing" stuff.

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N.T.

answers from Chicago on

We recently asked our pediatrician about this, since our 18 mo old seems a long way from giving up her paci. Her recommendation was that it was no big deal for kids under 3 to still have a paci for sleeping/stressful times. After that, she recommended trying to get rid of it. She also mentioned that if if the child isn't ready to give up sucking, they may replace the paci with their thumb--much harder to break that habit! Good luck.

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