Ok we just went to court for custody and fathers custody will be e/o wknd fri to mon mornings and every tues and wed over night. So he receives 50/50 although i am named primary custodian. In the original agreement i was to drop kids off to him e/o friday at 7-7:30 but that was before he moved 30 minutes away. So my question is, if he is now going to get 50/50 wouldn't he be responsible for picking the children up on his fridays just like i do on mine? He says i am to share picking up and dropping off but if we have 50/50 doesn't he pick up and drop off on his days just as i do? Also he states that he can not do every tues and wed but can do every tues and thurs. I think the everyother day is too much back and forth for the kids. Has anyone else experienced this and what was the outcome? Thanks again
CONTINUED: Let me say when we went to court it was for a modification because of a PFA that was expired. Needless to say i agreed to him having them 50/50 because i was told the judge would give it to him anyway, so we never went in front of a judge. And the old agreement stated that i would drop the kids off but that was when he lived in the same city (liek 10 minutes from me), that was never addressed at the modification hearing because it was just overlooked as he had just moved. H enow lives in philly. But these issues were brought up tonight when him and I were speaking and he refuses to pick them up on his fridays even though he will have them for 7 days out of 14 days. My children are 9 and 2 and he was told that whatever activities our 9 yr old is in he would be responible for taking her to on time. I don't know how this is going to effct her schooling as this schedule hasnt even started yet. I am just trying to find out if anyone has had this schedule and if the other parent would be responsible for picking up since he would have just as many days as i would.
I would not do the Tue, Thur thing, that is way too much back and forth. If he can not handle his share maybe he should have less. And yes, it is his responsibility to pick up the girls for his days, as it is yours to get them for your days. Do not let this man push you around.
Wait a minute, you both just went to court but he is now trying to change things? Did he know about the hearing & agreed to all this or was he not there & visitation was set for him? Either way you both have to go by the court order and yes you will still have to drive the extra 30 minutes to drop them off. My ex & I had our court order state that if he or I moved a certain number of miles from our original address then that person that moved was responsible for pick up & drop off. But that's what we agreed on.
whatever the court document says that is what you need to follow, unless you can have a reasonable talk with your husband and see if he would be willing to pick them up. if not, it is your responsibility.
if the court document states in case he moves, or if he lives beyond these many miles, etc then you can room for negotiations. but sounds like the document is clear cut. you need to do the drop off. that is something you should have brought up at the hearing.
You agreed and are under a court order, he can call the Police on you and they can make you follow the order. Make a date to go back to court.
First, what does the divorce decree say about pick up and drop off? If you both want to change things, you can, but at least for now, you should follow it to the letter and then after things are fairly smooth, you can approach talking it over with him if it isn't working well.
As far as him wanting to change from Tues/Wed to Tues and Thurs right after you went to court..you didn't mention the kids' ages, but how does that affect school? How does it affect discipline and their own sense of stability? If you are primary custodian, that means you are given more say in how their education, medical, etc. life goes. Still, I would want to work with him to figure out what the problem is. If he has something that happenes Tuesday nights, or Wednesdays during the day and that is the problem, can it be worked out to Wed and Thurs? What activities do the KIDS have during these days? How this affects THEM is the primary concern. If he can't manage two days in a row every week--days that ALSO work for the kids, school, homework, friends, you, and activities, perhaps he can't manage the 50-50 physical custody thing.
Follow the ruling to the letter. 30 minutes is NOTHING. My hubs had to pick up his son e/o weekend and the child lived 2 1/2 hours one way, away. If ex-hubs wants to change days he has to do it through the courts.
