Am I Making the Right Decision for Myself

I have been married to the same man for 29 years.We have 5 children.
I know that men can be stubborn and thats where we (as wifes come in!!) Make an appointment for him insist that he go to this appointment and be there for him.Tell him that you will cook his favorite meal and make a family care thing out of it.All of you will benefit from it plus the kids will be involved.
I hope this helps you.

I would let him get the vasectomy. It's much easier for a man than a woman. And from what I've heard, there are less risks involved. Just make the appointments for him:)

Let me just tell you that I had my tubes tied and the procedure itself was not bad but the recovery time was brutal!!! With kids as young as yours trying to get the rest you require after the procedure could be very difficult. Also I ended up getting a viral infection which is not that uncommon but it prolonged the recovery time. If I were you I would make the appointment for you husband!!!!!!!!!!!

My husband had a vasectomy about a year ago and although he had some swelling, etc. for longer than he anticipated, overall it was quick and painless. It's an outpatient procedure for men, no big deal. I have never heard of Essure, but since you've already had surgery, it seems like it's his turn. It does take about 3 months for the man to be declared "sterile" however, so in the meantime you'll have to use barrier methods.
We have Kaiser so it was very cheap - I think the whole thing cost $50. Do it on a Friday, give him the weekend to recover (get some help with the kids that weekend, he may have to lie down the whole time) and he should be fine by Monday.

Hi M., I have to say, the essure worked AWESOME for me. I got it done when it was still brand new, had NO anistisia, watched the whole thing while it was being done and was totally back to normal within an HOUR of the procedure. Back when I had it done you still had to go to the hospital to get it done, now they do it in the Dr. office. I absolutly love it. No cutting or any type of real recovery time for either of us. I would be more then happy to tell you first hand of my experiences, I will also inclose a link. www.essure.com

K.

I think the vasectomy is a lot less invasive, and since you've had the surgery already and your husband is willing to have a vasectomy, I think you should try again before you go under the knife. Would he be offended if you made the appointment for him? Could he take a vacation day to get it done? Men hate going to the doctor, so that's probably why he's resisting. But if you do the legwork maybe he would be more willing than you think.

M.,
I had a tubal ligation following my second c-section. Since they were already in there, I don't know how bad the surgery is. However, I can tell you it's wonderful not having to worry about an unplanned pregnancy. My cyles and hormones are the same as ever (which is so much better than the pill or Depo, which really messed with my libido). My understanding is that it's a very small incision. My Dr. opted for a method where they actually remove a section of the fallopian tube and cauterize each end, over just tying the tubes, because there is less chance of them growing back together and, oops, allowing a pregnancy. Check out your options, and do what you need to, rather than depending on your husband. Maybe if he sees you're serious, he'll get in gear and get a vasectomy.
Good luck!
E. G

It is much easier for the man to have a vasectomy. He can do it on a Friday, take the rest of the day and weekend off and be back to work on Monday! It's really simple and quick and doesn't involve general anesthesia. Nothing better. You probably should just go ahead and make an appointment for him. Good luck!

I have a different opinion on this subject than most. Please don't take any of this offensively, it's not the way I want to come across. I was raised Catholic so I don't believe that God wants us to do this kind of permanent procedure to ourselves. You just do not know what could happen in the future, and who knows if 10 years down the road you want another child or God forbid, something happens to the child or children we have. Maybe your husband never has the time to get it done for a reason.... maybe he's not supposed to. I can't really vouch for being a good Catholic myself, because my husband and I have also used protection for about 4 years now.
We're just starting to learn Natural Family Planning, which is a completely natural method of birth control, no barriers, pill taking, etc. I am extremely leery of it (as are most people) but it is extremely effective if used correctly. It is nothing like the controversial and ineffective rhythm method that Catholics used to go by because it is taught in classes catered to every woman's individual body. It is a very difficult method to use (you can't just have sex whenever you want) but I just can't stand the constant contraceptive "hassle" anymore.
I would definitely look at all of your options before going through with something this permanent. Hope I've helped you. Again, I'm not wanting to offend anyone. Just wanting to put out a different opinion.

I would suggest talking with your ob-gyn about your concerns with this procedure after the endometrosis.

Personally, I would be patient and let your husband get his vasectomy. It's such an easy procedure for the guys and the recovery time is a lot quicker/easier.

Its going to be much more of an ordeal for you to go in and have your tubes tied.

Just communicate what your feeling to your husband. I am sure they can schedule his procedure for a slot later in the afternoon on a Friday or something. Then he should be good to go by Monday morning. And hopefully he wouldn't be missing too much work.

And if him missing work is the concern, than just think of it this way. If you do get your tubes tied then -- he'll probably have to take off work anyway to be there for you. You'll more than likely have to go under general anestesia and he'll have to drive you to the hospital, wait, drive you home and take care of you and the kids until you can get on your feet again.

-T.

I would definately ask your doctor about the Essure process...it is much less invasive and recovery is quick. I think it's about a 15 minute proceedure (outpatient) with maybe a little cramping. It's just newer (in the last five years) in the states so a lot of people don't know about it. It's very safe and much easier than a tubal.

Hi, I think you should hang in there and let him have the procedure. Have you talked to your OB about and IUD?? I have one called Mirena its safe and 99.99% effective. It has stopped my periods and PMS symtoms. It is also good for 5 years. Just something to think about.

I have not had my tubes tied, but from my understanding, it is a more difficult procedure and has a longer recovery time. So I would just make sure your husband has time to take care of you and the kids while you recouperate, or that someone else will be able to help you. In the long run, it may be easier and quicker if he just made the time to have the surgery. I would do some research online and speak with your doctor about the pros and cons of each surgery before making a final decision.

Good luck!

Hi M.,

I am using the Mirena IUD for birth control. It lasts for 5 years and is very effective, with few side effects. My husband and I are very happy with it, and it's buying us some time before we make any decisions about having more kids or getting a vasectomy. If we do decide we want to try for another baby, we should be able to conceive right after I have it removed.

Good luck!

P.

Hi M.,
I kind of had the same issue a few years ago when I didn’t want to take a pill every day, certainly didn’t want the shot, and hated the patches, I just wanted to feel free, I asked my DH to get an SA done because he didn’t think he could have kids, I told him I don’t want to be preventing if there is no need and I told him that maybe I should just go get my tubes tied. He kept procrastinating for a few years, and finally I told him I was going to go get Fixed, He freaked out and said he wanted to try for a child, (he's never had one of his own) So I looked into my options and found the Merina IUD, My OB-GYN told me NOT to use the Copper IUD because I already have bad periods and really painful cramps and it would only make it worse, but the Merina actually helps flow and cramps, I got that put in and I only spotted once a month and had very little cramps. I loved it, and now we got the Merina removed we're trying to have a baby. BUT I relate to what your going through, I hit a point for me that I wasn’t sure if I wanted more kids, He wouldn’t get checked so I took a route I could live with, its lasts for 5 years and is sooo simple to have removed, Just make sure you are absolutely sure of what you want for your self before you do anything, and If your ok with having your tubes tied Go for it. If not, I'd suggest maybe alternate methods like the Merina to carry you through until he makes his move. Funny story, lol, I have a friend in your exact same situation, and she made 3 appointments for her husband to go in and have the procedure done and he kept missing them, Well, she got PG again, and wouldn’t you know, Her husband went and made the appointment HIM SELF to get his vasectomy the week after they found out they're having another baby. Kind of funny what motivates men. I think they’re just terrified to have clippers down there, and maybe if you're do all the work, they wont if they don’t have to.