Can I vent? I'm annoyed by my in-laws. We tried flying there and got stuck at an airport for a couple days due to snow in their area. All flights were canceled and every flight we got on kept getting canceled. After paying for an overpriced hotel and eating restaurant food and seeing that all flights on the 3rd day were also canceled we decided it was best to give up and fly home. The whole time my husband was communicating with his parents via text and phone. The morning we flew out his brother and his family (who was stuck at a different airport in a different city) decides to fly to the airport we WERE at and they drove and picked him up and drove back to their home (10 hours!). When we talked to them just the night before they said there were no snow plows out and everything was snowed in and the roads were closed. We all agreed it was too dangerous for us to rent a car and drive. They said it was too dangerous. The next morning we were communicating with them before we got on that flight home. Then at whatever point later they decided to do the drive...by that time we were on the airplane to fly home. So they all spend a late Christmas together and opened gifts. I was kind of bothered but figured it was just bad luck and they just changed their mind. I told my MIL what I had sent for the kids and asked her if she could wrap the gifts for me. She said no problem. Today...three days later and three days after they did their gift exchange...she calls and says she cannot find a gift. No make that 3 gifts. I look up the records and tell her what day they were delivered. Then she calls again and says she found two. So basically, she never wrapped our 4 gifts to our 4 nephews/nieces. And she is trying to figure it out today. One gift is still lost even though it says it was delivered at x date. It was in a box with a larger gift that she did find. I have a feeling it might have been thrown out because it was small in size. Who knows. I am just feeling annoyed. One, we could have all been together if they had let us know the new plans or had decided earlier. They never even mentioned that they were thinking of doing that. Two, our family was left out of the gift exchange and were like an afterthought a few days later. I know. I'm being way too sensitive. I'm just annoyed. I don't know what my problem is. Would you be annoyed?
Thanks for giving me a place to vent, Mamapedia. I feel better already just getting it all out. My husband and I were just laughing/rolling our eyes about it. His mom is not the most organized person.
Thanks everyone for your responses! I know my explanation is confusing. I know it was illogical to feel annoyed with them...they cannot control the weather. We spoke that morning before we booked the flight. I just wish they had told us they were even thinking of doing the drive. I wish BIL had communicated they were going to fly into the city we were in. Then we could have thought about waiting a bit longer. We spoke again 4 hours later when we arrived at our destination and they were on the road. I will assume they all made these decisions after we got on our flight. No one's fault. I am just jealous that we were not there to see everyone and join in on the family fun. boo hoo. I did expect that when they did the family gift exchange that our gifts would be wrapped and under the tree for the kids to open....that is what was promised. Oh well...not the end of the world.
I would feel bad that a nephew or niece might not get my gift.
You can't control stuff like this.
Do what you can to square up with any child that got gypped. Otherwise, LET IT GO!
Well, it wouldn't bother me - mostly because I don't/won't travel for the holidays (any of them) in the first place and a phone call or two would be the extent of my family 'visiting' - so any screw ups that happened would not have inconvenienced me in the least.
Nothing is more cozy than staying home, watching a favorite holiday movie or two, sipping egg nog and sleeping when ever I want to - no fuss or bother or running around - for ME, that's a perfect holiday!
It was just a frustrating circumstance in general. Nerves are a little frayed in everyone. I'd just cross it off as one of those Christmas's to forget. I'm a very "go with the flow" person because I spent 20 years in the airline industry, these things happen this time of year.
Maybe next year try to leave a day or two earlier or meet in your sunny New Mexico location? I'd be frustrated too but no one meant ill will so I'd just shake it off. Sorry it was a rough Christmas....
Given the situation, anyone would be annoyed. You would have to be a complete optimist to turn that into an "okay" situation.
It all stinks, but to give it some balance, you can't blame your in-laws for the snow and all of the canceled flights. And you can't blame them for you leaving, the brother arriving, and the roads clearing enough to drive on. At that point, I think the only thing to do would be to salvage what was left.
It's a natural to feel that you were left out of the celebration. Christmas happens and there are kids involved. It's hard to ask kids to wait until everyone can be together. Would it have been in a week, 2 weeks, 6 months?
As for the gifts, she needs to look harder. Dig through the trash. Those are the gifts you chose for you nieces and nephews. However, depending on her personality, she may not be willing to do that. My mother would, my mother in law would likely no do so.
One year for my nephew I framed a photo of about 7 - 8 horses with their mane's blowing in the wind while tied to a post. I took the photo. It was for his birthday and to decorate his new room. I sent it with my mother in law and when she saw it, she was pretty excited about it, taken back, wowed. So I never hear anything about the gift. My nephew lives with his father, so I blew it off as a guy thing. I go to their house and I don't see it anywhere. I finally make mention of it and my brother in law says what picture. I tell him and he says he doesn't know. Later I mention it to my nephew and he says he never had a picture like that. Yep, my mother in law had a home staging business and she would do different houses in different themes...I wonder if there was a Western theme. Oh well, it happened many years ago and we have all moved on.
Yes, I'd be annoyed. Glad you were able to vent and then laugh about it.
I don't know. I might be annoyed - but I would let it go. Life is too short.
It was a snow storm. You cannot control that. A LOT can change in 24 hours with a snow storm - plows CAN get out.
How EXACTLY did you expect your family to JOIN the gift exchange? You weren't there. Did you expect them to wait until you were finally able to get there and then do it? I don't get it. What were your expectations? It's obvious they were NOT met.
About the gifts being LOST? oh heck yeah - I'd be upset. That could have been avoided. The weather? no. You can't control it and really can't predict it...you can assume there will be snow...around this time of year - but never how much or when....
Let it go....
i can't quite make out the driving thing. they couldn't make it out to pick you up, but DID make it out to pick up your brother's family from the same airport, and you feel rejected, is that it?
but you spoke to them the night BEFORE and the roads were too bad.
i know around here the roads can go from do-able to dangerous in a couple of hours. and conversely, roads that are impassable get plowed and become quite do-able. so no, i don't think you're really justified in being mad that one night they told you the roads were awful, but they made it out the next day. 10 hours is pretty crazy driving time. i'm rather taken aback that anyone does that with kids over a holiday!
as for the gifts, if the weather was that awful, is it really that unthinkable that one or two went astray?
if you had time to buy and ship the gifts, why make her wrap them?
i know fed ex has claimed to have delivered packages here and oops 'found' them on their truck days later. so her story is completely plausible to me, especially with bad weather abounding. one time they decided they didn't want to drive up my driveway and threw the box into the ditch in the lane. several other times they've just dumped the boxes at our mailbox on the main road where they could easily have been stolen.
i'm sorry your holiday got so derailed. i too would be twitchy and grouchy over it. but no, i don't think any of it is your in-laws' fault.
khairete
S.
The difficulties brought on by snow storms is most definitely not the fault of your in-laws! I'd be disappointed and upset about the storm. I'd know my in-laws did the best they could. They had no more control of the situation than you. We want to believe we have some control. When we feel lost, it's normal to think someone else has control and help us feel better.
As to not wrapping gifts. I didn't wrap any of my gifts and we enjoyed gift giving as much as we have with wrapped gifts. In your situation, I see no point in wrapping them. You weren't there to enjoy their reaction.
I'm glad venting helped and wish you a better new year.
Nightmare ugh!!!! What woudl have frayed my nerves was all the airport stuff because I HATE traveling at holidays and have pretty much quit doing it. My ex took the kids to see his parents, and they drove 3 hrs to Baltimore for 1st flight, then ended up delayed overnight in Texas on way to Baton Rouge, and the next day he drove to Baton Rouge from Texas since there were no flights for days...eek...I was home watching Netflix.
As for the gift exchange and long drive you missed...it's a bummer, but you have to let it go!! I have misplaced gifts in all the boxes and it turned out OK to do them later. Kids love late presents. They get lost in the masses on the day of opening. Sorry for the headache -I FEEL YOUR PAIN!!-and better luck next year!!!
I am at a loss here. I shall gather that you live in an area of New Mexico that did not get hit by the blizzard which closed most of the eastern side of the state down. So traveling became difficult for you to get to your destination I gather still in the state. This time of year is very unpredictable for travel as you have now discovered. I was not able to leave my home for two days with the storm.
Your MIL misplaced your gifts and your niece and nephew did not get them. When the BIL came he should have taken you back to his home unless he had a small vehicle.
You have a tale to tell in the future about the Christmas of the storm. Let it go. There are too many other things in life to get upset over. Next year stay home or watch the watch forecasts for travel and plan accordingly. My son always wants us to visit more in Colorado and I always state this time of year "weather permitting." Mother Nature has the last say this time of year.
Have a great year.
the other S.
Sounds like your MIL is not just unorganized. Sounds like she doesn't have much of a clue about what goes on in her life. I'll bet her house is just chock full of "stuff", isn't it.
Just make sure you send a note or email to the other family explaining what happened so that they don't think you didn't get their kids gifts. Tell them that you hope mom will send the 3, and finally find #4!
I will tell you that if I were you, I'd find another time of year to fly there when you don't have to worry about the weather. I have learned in MANY years of being married that holidays aren't that important. Seeing family members when it can be worked out IS.
And yeah, I would be MORE than annoyed if that much time was spent in an airport and hotel and I never made it to my destination. That would be the last time I tried that... Spring is a much better alternative!
My own grandmother left my entire family's gifts at home. We'll pick them up at Easter. So for the gifts, tell the recipients that they got lost in the back and forth, and send them a gift card or other replacement to their home directly.
The thing I would be upset about would be their willingness to drive to get your BIL's family but not telling you that might be an option before you flew home. I would be disappointed that the BIL's family was able to be picked up and you were not - it's not clear if it was decided in time for them to get you as well. Do they tend to favor BIL or was it just a matter of you caught a plane before they could come?
Overall, try to look at the big picture. Sorry about this Christmas. Maybe have a re-do with the grands another day.
No, I wouldn't be annoyed. Perhaps because I live less than a mile from a major river that flooded like it never did before. Because I watched that same river reap havoc on my community while my cousin was getting married last night. I watched our family scramble and nothing was perfect.
Still we cannot control weather, my family cannot control weather, no one can control timing of planes or any of that. Sure you are disappointed that things did not go as planned but to be upset with your in laws, come on? Surely even you see that is being silly.
Absolutely let this go. The odds were stacked against you guys.
I would have to vent also, though.
Just have to share...Amazon messed up on three of our holiday orders, and Walmart messed up on two. So we had to scramble last minute for gifts. Never had these problems before, but per the numerous phone calls to customer service these two places were having problems delivering packages left and right this season........
Yes, I'd be pissed off. My mother in law was a wonderful woman and I miss her every single day.
I did wonder why you didn't rent a car or something and try to drive to them, that's what happens in all the snow in movies, right??? Big adventures!
I guess the roads were cleared enough for them to make that drive a few hours after you left. I would have gone home before you did I think. Sorry you had to go through all that.
I guess my thoughts would be that you simply call the parent of the niece or nephew that didn't get a gift and let them know what happened. Next time you might just go ahead and wrap the girt and tag it all in one big box and have it shipped with peanuts and stuff inside.
I would hate to be angry with my mother in law. Maybe in time you can get past this, I hope so.
Wow. For someone stuck at an airport for two days, you sound very calm to me. :)
Happy New Year's Day and many more.
I'm sorry but I'm confused. The BIL picked your husband up, but left you and the kids at the airport? Why didn't he drive you all? Did he drive your husband back to his house? Or to your Inlaws house? I can't follow who is where. But yes I would be annoyed at this situation. No way would my husband leave me stuck at an airport and hitch a ride with someone else. So you mailed the gifts to your Inlaws house and she set them aside for you to wrap when you arrived? Now she can't find some of the gifts? That would be annoying, yes. But you can't count on someone else to be as careful with things as you would have been. I'm sorry you had a miserable holiday. Next year I would stay put and if people want to celebrate with your family, they can come to you. I hope your new year was better than your Christmas was!
