Another Commitment Issue

A., I was in the somewhat same situation with my sons father. The only time that he realized that he really loved me for me and not just because I was the mother of his son is when I told him that I was going to move on with my life. I had started dating someone else and everything. When I started that I guess that was an eye opener for him. He saw that I was not going to wait around for him to make up his mind. He was willing to wait on me for me to make up my mind whether I wanted to be with him or with the other person that I was dating. It has been 4 months now and our relationship is so strong right now.

A., if you would have gotten married just because you were going to have his child, I really do not think it would have worked out the way that he wanted. I have two close friends, that are men, that got married because "it was the right thing to do" and they are both going through a divorce.
I think you want to make sure that you guys feel the same about each other and are not just getting married for the child.

Just something to think about
T.

All things, good or bad, happen for a reason. I believe this.

When I found out I was pregnant, in December of last year, my then boyfriend moved up from NC in two weeks. We had such a rocky relationship after that. Ya'll know how pregnancy hormones can affect even the calmest of people, which I am not, lol.

It took me until after our daughter was born to realize that God had chosen better for me than I would have for myself. I may not have started out in love with him, but I am desperately in love with my husband now. The baby has only brought us closer together.

Follow your heart, let that be your guide. You will make the best decision for yourself and your baby.

I would not have any regrets. All things work out for the best. Marriage is a big step and you do not want to marry someone if there are doubts on any side. I found out I was pregnant 2 weeks before I got married. I had some major doubts about going through with the marriage. We have had a very difficult time because of our differences. Sometimes I think I should of followed my gut intuition and called off the marriage. You don't want to be together for the child. And trust me if he doesn't want to be married to you and you pressure him into it not only will he always resent you but you will know in your heart that you are not the love of his life. It would be easier in the long run to wait for "MR. Right". I'm sure he really loves his son, but trust me if he truly loves YOU wild horses couldn't stop him from marrying you. Hope this helps.

hey A.,i think you shouldnt get married unless both of you are 1oo% sure of your love.trust me you dont want a bitter divorce battle with children envolved if you can say you love him for real with no limitations you should talk it out .I dont know your religion or his but i only know ive been through alot and trusting GOD is the only way out.
your friend Berni.

hey,
I know what you are going through. But i have to say that you were right not to marry him when you found out you were pregnant. Being good parents does not mean you need to be married or in love with each other, it means that you do the best for you child together. If it is meant to be more than just being partners in parents than that will happen, But if you say then again after you say we are back together you aren't and being romantic with him is a waste of your time and your sons, Your son needs you to be happy not just alright. Good luck!

My husband and I have talked about splitting up. We have a 20 mo old son, and have been married for 2 1/2 years. Honestly, I wish we would have waited on the marriage deal. He and I fight or have arguments a lot. He lived with his mom before he married me, and that's where he goes back to when we fight. He and I have talked about divorce many times, and he says he wants to be here for our son. He's also told me at times that he isn't in love with me, but that he cares for me a great deal....of course, then two days later, I'm the love of his life and he could never leave me....anyways...about your situation. Give it some time. I wouldn't give up on someone that I loved and whom I felt I had a good chance with when the time was right. Like the old saying goes, if it comes back...it's yours, or it was meant to me....something like that. Good luck A.....I wish you the best of luck in your relationship with the father of your child.

You were right to wait to get married. If he wasn't ready to marry you after your son was born, he wasn't ready befor. If you had gotten married would have simply have had a very bad and stressful marriage with a bad divorce. Keep him in your sons life but move on yourself, and find someone who loves you for you.