Anxiety Overtaking Me :(

I have been where you are exactly! I'm so sorry you are going through this. I know how it feels! I have struggled with anxiety for several years and was giving xanax as well. I find that they work great for really bad attacks but are not something I want to take every day. Last November I was doing really bad and went to see a new doc who gave me a prescription for Paxil. I was hesitant at first but desperate to feel better. I saw almost immediate relief. I went from having daily panic attacks to only weekly and now three months later they are very rare! It has also helped with the obsessive thoughts racing through my mind which I had thought was just something I had to deal with. I am much more relaxed now and calm and can think clearly. Anyway, I don't know if it will work for you but I had to respond because I have been where you are and now am on the other side feeling so much better. I really hope you can find some relief as well. Feel free to message me if you have any questions.

Listen, JM, you deserve a better life then this, ok? You need to go to the docs and tell the truth, you need some help. There are a zillion different meds to help you, find one that works.

Life is to be enjoyed, especially when it's full of children. You're missing it. You don't wanna miss the good stuff, do you?

:(

I'm
Sorry you are having terrible anxiety :( I suffered for years- once I had kids I decided that I need to at least try medication and see if it can help me- I don't want to waste my life worrying about everything- l have been on zoloft for about 3 months- at first the side effects were really not fun but they went away!!! I still get anxious but not nearly as bad as I used to! It's def worth a shot! Pm me if you need/want to talk!

You sound like me! It's refreshing to know I'm not alone. I , too have suffered from Anxiety all my life. I am a worry-wart, as well as a hyperchondriac( that started after having my son). It doesn't help that my father is a doctor, and both my mother and stepfather are nurses!

I was on Paxil in my late teens for Social Anxiety, but was only on it for 2 years. It left me with tremendous weight gain, and terrible side effects. So, I too have worked on decreasing my anxiety naturally. During this time I met with a Psychiatrist and a Psychotherapists. Both were very helpful and wonderful to me. They helped me build up a list of coping skills and techniques to utilize when I am having an episode. I also had panic attacks, and learned to work through them without using medication.

I use self hypnosis, positive self talk, deep breathing/relaxation techniques, talking with friends, etc.

If you would like, you can message me and I can talk more with you.

Those of us with above average intelligence trend to be more prone to anxiety, unfortunately, I guess because we can see what can happen and have enough knowledge to realize a fever could be more than just a virus, etc etc etc...

I have dealt with it many many years...started out as health anxiety, then started having panic attacks, and then I could barely function because I was so scared of having a panic attack that I just avoided a ton of situations.

The best book I have ever read on anxiety and panic issue is Hope and Help for Your Nerves by Dr. Claire Weekes. She was a woman going through medical school I believe back in the 40s or 50s and started suffering from anxiety and panic. She used her knowledge of human anatomy and the nervous system to figure out how to over come the anxiety and panic. She went on to help thousands of sufferers world wide.

I will tell you I did go to my doctor and he did help me figure out some medication to take to help until the "therapy" (I never went through therapy, as I tried several doctors and none of them were a good fit for me)...but the book I mentioned was my therapy and several online support groups.

You can overcome this...you can PM me if you want....you are not alone and you do not have to suffer!!!

The thing with anxiety and ocd.. therapy doesnt work very well until you are on medicine and you are thinking more clearly. I have several friends and family members on SSRIs they have been helped immensely.

I would think your first step is to see a psychiatrist and get on some medication that will get you moving in the right direction. you do sound well educated and knowledgable.. and I am sure you know that you cannot be an effective parent with all of this OCD anxiety going on. not good for your kids.

once you are on medication.. then you can go to real therapy with a real therapist .. which works way better than a book..

do not let your husbands work schedule limit your therapy.. many therapists work evenigns.. as they have to.. most patients have jobs and school and heave to come in after work.. so most therapist have evening hours..

Do you want to get better and start enjoyinig life?? if so make an appt to see a psychiatrist..

Morning
Couple of things struck me in your post. One, you came from an alcoholic family. (I can relate, both my parents and other family members were huge drunks) That said, growing up in such an environment can breed anxiety into a person.. (even if the anxiety doesn't hit until later on in life) perhaps through a trigger like say having children.. and then we start to become anxious over their well-being and even the small things begin to run amuck in our heads and we start obsessing..

I have suffered from major anxiety as well. Like you , I have read MANY books on the topic cover to cover in search of some healing.. I have even done EFT, Hypnosis, Talk Therapy , "Good Nutrition" , Yoga... etc etc..

Then, recently I found a 12 step.... one is OA , the other Al-anon...
WOW>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>> EYES OPEN!! there are many of us out there who come from similar backgrounds and two of the key terms I keep hearing and have read in the 12 step literature are anxiety and obsessing... WHO knew??? so many people are out there with the same issues as us.. Since working my program, I can't tell you enough how my anxiety has slipped away.. oh, not all of it, but I DEFINITELY feel a shift...

Within the program, their are actual tools you can use to help you alleviate some of your stress and anxiety (go online , it's free) and it's those tools that have been so VERY helpful to me...

Talk therapy was ok.... but after that one hour session, I had the other 23 hrs to deal with life... and I didn't really feel I was doing a good job at it, at least aspects of it.. The step tools GIVE you ways to learn to deal with things and when you embrace the program and really work it, you can get so much out of it... You know that old saying, your input will change your output... I like the steps because it's ME actually doing the work and not sitting in a therapist's chair "talking and talking" about my woes and then getting some two bit advice and yet, no tools in which to follow their advice..

If you can, go online, check out Al-anon.. see IF their questionaire fits your situation.... meetings are free, UNLESS you choose to give a few dollars.. but no obligation..
They hold the meetings at ALL times of the day.... and at a myriad of places..

Whatever you decide, I wish you the best of luck

If this is a chemical imbalance in your body I think medication would help you greatly. I think talking to your doctor (or several doctors) on causes of anxiety and getting your thyroid tested are good ideas. There is nothing wrong with trying different types and doses of anxiety medication and see if there is one that works for you. Think of it as a process though and don't give up after trying one if you don't like it. If I felt as anxious as you do I would definitely look into it. My mom has a lot of anxiety and will have all out panic attacks that last a week or two. She will not go on medication bc she is worried about side effects. But you don't know how something is going to affect your body until you try it. So, instead she lives with extreme anxiety, has few friends, and she has some crazy behaviors that drive other people nuts if they are around her too long.

I'm not sure about all the things that can cause difficulty with anxiety.
But I do know anxiety can be a symptom of hyperthyroid.
If your thyroid levels have been measured and they are fine then I'm not sure what else you can do.
But if your thyroid is a factor, then maybe getting that under control might help.
You can read all the books you want and talk all the therapy you want but if you have an internal biochemical imbalance situation, I don't think talk and books are going to do much to make you feel better.
I'm not a doctor but I think some sort of medication might be able to help.
You are wise to stay away from alcohol as much as possible.
Be sure to tell your doctor how it affects you - it might be a clue to help find a medication that might do a better job in helping you.

I disagree that you are "self-medicating" as you drink very infrequently and in small quantities. You also seem well aware of not going down that road. Not sure why everyone is jumping on that but I don't see that as the issue and I have an alcoholic parent so I am very sensitive to it. Anyway, I am a hypo too, just read through my posts and you will see. I think the worst of every health situation and hyper-research EVERYTHING. I also take l-theanine among other aminos... I don't have much advice for you as I have recently hit a rough patch too, but a dr. of mine suggested that it might have something to do with eating wheat. I was wheat free for awhile but it is SO hard... actually getting "back on the wagon" starting today. :) Good luck to you, I am too afraid to take meds even though I am sure I need them.

I know you don't have a lot of time, but I think you would be smart to make an appt. with your PCP to discuss this.
And in really glad you understand the potential risks of self medicating (alcohol). MANY addictions are the direct result of self medicating for issues like anxiety, bipolar, etc.
Talk to your doc.
Good luck!

when I went back thru your previous questions, a couple of things jumped out at me....

do you drive? Why can't you take your husband to work & use the car for dr appts?

a lot of your questions focus on drinking/alcoholism. Do you think this is an issue for you? I know you mentioned it runs in your family, but do you think this is part of your life? If so, dump out those bottles!

at one point, you mentioned you were taking an online doctorate program. Are you still? Is this feeding into your anxiety?

& it seems that your daughter is also experiencing anxiety. You mentioned her in several questions. Is she feeding off of your angst?

When you add all of this up + your comment above about how you don't think a dr could help.....all of this points to some serious issues. Please stop taking OTC supplements & seek the assistance of a licensed dr. Start with your general practitioner & then ask to move on to a therapist. Stop finding excuses to prevent yourself from recovering!

I sincerely wish you Peace!

Hint: Those of us with neurological disorders? Its almost impossible for us to get addicted to the meds we take to bring us to normal.

ADHD folk use stimulants that are "highly addictive" (for normal folk) for years, then go off with no weaning, and no withdrawal. ((But we get addicted to everything EXCEPT stimulants just like everyone else.))

Chronic Depressives use mood stabilizers that are "highly addictive" (for normal folk), but do a slow wean on build up meds or just quit in-n-out drugs, and have no withdrawal symptoms

The list goes on.

The vast majority of people who get addicted to Rx meds
- DONT need them in the first place

The next sub group are those who
- DONT take as prescribed (10x the dose, multiple doctors, drink or mix other drugs)

I'm sure they exist, but in all my years of being ADHD (and new docs every 2 years when I moved, for 20+ years) none of my doctors have ever heard of a case... And in all my schooling (including a concentration of neurology), Ive never heard of any cases of people becoming addicted to their meds who
- NEED them (properly diagnosed)
- Use them as prescribed

The thing with disorders... The meds bring us up to NORMAL levels.
Neurotypical folk take them, though, and that brings them ABOVE normal levels. Then the brain adjust to being above normal (physical addiction).

_______

PTSD people (and PPD, etc.) are tricky.... Because its not an inborn neurological condition. As they take their meds, and are in therapy, they (and their brain) heal. Which means THOSE people, people with temporary conditions, are at a VERY high risk for addiction if they're not overseen by competent professionals (who start backing them off their meds).

Even so... A competent professional? Lowers the risk to almost nothing.

You sound more like me (born this way... So nearly no risk), but even if its trauma related... If you want to LOWER your risk... All you have to do is work with a competent professional.

MIST IMPORTANT PART

*** TRY meds for a couple months. Say, 3. After your head is clear, THEN come to a decision about whether to continue with meds or not. *****

USEFUL

Most therapists have evening hours
Most therapists have weekend hours
(All therapists have clients who work the hours your husband does, so most accomidate by working tu-sat, or m-f but stay late 1 or more nights per week)
Some have daycare

I agree with Marda. You are using alcohol to self-medicate. With a doctor's help, you could be on proper medication (NOT drinking with medication, by the way) and it would help your entire family. The OCD and anxiety aren't good for your children either. It affects your entire family.

I remember your story, without going back and strolling through your posts (I'm writing after you've written that.) I think the other poster is actually talking about WHAT you've said about drinking rather then how much you've talked about it. And that's why I'm telling you that you are trying to self-medicate. It doesn't work and it will just end up exacerbating your problems and causing your family problems too.

Get off this type of merry-go-round and get help. You ARE using alcohol as a coping mechanism. Saying you aren't doesn't make it so - we all can see that, JM. Until you work on your issues with a doctor, you're just going to continue to have this anxiety.

Dawn

I urge you to give medication a try. I've dealt with anxiety and depression all my life and have found that daily medication makes a big difference. I've not had side affects and have taken several different ones. When one stops working for me the nurse practitioner gives me a different one.

See your primary care doctor to get started. Then ask about seeing a therapist regularly for continued supervision of medication so that you can get help finding the correct dose and type. When I start a different one, I see the Mental Health Nurse Practitioner every couple of weeks as I gradually increase the dose until we know it's working or not. I've had to change meds when I don't get relief in a month or so. It does take time, sometimes to find the right med and the right dose but it's worth it.

When I first started asking for help my psychiatrist suggested that meditation wouldn't help me because I already tend to keep thinking the same thoughts over and over. He suggested keeping my mind active focusing on interesting thought would be more helpful and I find it to be true. I often escape with a book or a movie.

I've also learned to tell myself, "stop," when I notice I'm ruminating. We can, with practice, control what we think about. Positive affirmations are a great help. When I start down the path of negative thoughts I substitute a positive thought in it's place and say the same positive thing over and over. For example: a positive affirmation would be, "I'm healthy!" said over and over.

BTW: I've used alcohol to self-medicate and over the years I drank more and more often. It's hard not to. Remember alcohol is a depressant and in the long run does not help with the anxiety and depression. One feels better for a while but once the alcohol is out of your system it leaves your system more depressed. It's a physiological thing.

I would find someone to watch them while u go to therapy. You need that time alone to build coping skills and ways to combat your thoughts
Your healthy lifestyle is a good start.

I have the same anxiety. Things about myself then my kids with a little OCD. I would cry myself to sleep at night convinced I was going to die of a brain tumor overnight. My OCD was in my head. I would spell things over and over and over till it was driving me nuts. I went to a Psychologist and they said that everyone has a bit of anxiety but can push the thoughts out of their head. Since I can't push the thoughts out of my head that's the problem. I started a low dose of Zoloft and it worked miracles. I was able to take those thoughts and push them right out of my head. No more crying myself to sleep, can stop the spelling as soon as I notice it, can stop the fears that I am dying, stop thinking every ache is a deadly disease, stop checking to see if my kids are breathing all night long. It's such a relief.

I don't notice I am on meds. I don't feel them kick in like Xanex does. You have a brain chemical imbalance and it needs to be addressed.

I wonder if it might be helpful for you to consult with a naturopath, or some kind of alternative healer. Acupuncture might be a good fit for you, especially considering that you would prefer to stay away from medications. Reiki could also help. There may even be adjustments in your diet that could help bring balance and calm into your life. Do you know anyone in any of these fields, or could you find a reference for someone?

I hope that an answer is near for you. It may take some work, but there is surely hope. Best wishes.

Take the meds. U think u feel more relaxed when u drink wait till u try the meds!! You will be a new woman and if u don't feel better try a different medication. In the mean time u need b12 b6 and folic acid. The more b vitamins the better for your brain with this. I just have soooo many personal experiences with anxiety from family me ever to best friends am my son and daughter. My son who we waited for ever to medicate yes because he is only 8 said to my husband I wish the dr found this medicine for me sooner. Well he did and we were too reluctant to put our 6 year old on antidepressants. It has changed our lives his lives his school and friends. Still a few panic attacks but less secere and he will leave the house. No more headaches and stomach aches and lethargic kid. So many positive changes the only negative is he has gained weight but since he was only 10% because he was scared to eat. Scared he would eat an allergic food and scared food will give him pain stomach ache. Now he is 80% tile. So it's more of a blessing to see him healthy. Please just try the meds. They are not all addicting. Find a good dr and go to therapy with your children. It is a good experience for them for later in life to know its ok to get help, not to be ashamed or embarrassed and there are all kinds of drs out there. Plus sounds like just any therapist doesn't need to be cbt just to talk to is wonderful. If it is the right therapist you will walk out feeling empowered and so happy! Please I have seen this work and I have seen those who did not do anything. If u want to email me please do. I can't tell u everything but I know there is help out there waiting for u. Take it

I could have written much of your post. I have a lot of anxiety, most of which is surrounding the health of my family. It is crippling to deal with. I am in the process of trying to find a therapist who can help me sort through things, and I would like to be on some medication as soon as I am done breastfeeding my baby. I don't have any answers for you, but just wanted to say that I understand exactly how you feel.

JM, most of us have some form of anxiety. Behind that anxiety it is FEAR. For you it is health. Being sick makes YOU feel out of control and that takes away from you because it is not something YOU can solve or control. My advice to you would be that whenever those thoughts start to possess your mind, pretend you are literally and physically moving that thought to another spot or "space" in your mind and then replace that "space" with a totally different thought about health. For instance, when your child starts to have a symptom, instead of worrying what it COULD be and waste all that space, pick up a book, or a phone and call your pediatrician, read about the facts about the symptoms, try home remedies or talk about it - that way you have control over something other than the sickness.

Basically just control what you can and leave the rest to the experts. As you said, most times it is nothing, but at the most you have the reassurance in your mind that it is not. Repeat for every episode/attack. Remove yourself from the situation and then come back when you have it together.

I too had anxiety accompanied with OCD and I don't like taking medications either but when I kept breaking out in little hives on my upper chest and scratching my arms cause they itched in high stress situations, I finally broke down and cried in the doctors office one day and was sent to a "pill" therapist who prescribed something. It took about 5 different medications before we found one that didn't interupt my sleep, make me sick, etc. There are ones out there that aren't addictive. I would look into Pristiq and Eefexor they worked the best with the least amount of notice. I switched from the pristiq to eefexor for insurance reasons and price. I got laid off 9 months ago and lost my insurance, had to quit taking the Eefexor and it wasn't a problem for me at least quitting cold turkey, since I was no longer working I no longer had the anxiety levels I had in the past.

You might have a chemical imbalance and meds are wonderful. I have witnessed this and although therapy is great too do not rule out the meds. Or perhaps if that seems so hard to do then find things that take you away from your anxiety. Books, stories, painting, drawing, music, and anything that distracts you from your worrying. A good mystery that you can't wait to read, songs, exercise (bring those little people on a walk!) Get involved with things. It's funny how when we are involved with so many other things anxiety kind of takes a back seat. But seriously, examine why are you upset about taking meds?

You mentioned the difficulty in getting to a therapist. I just wanted to let you know that many Life Coaches actually do sessions via the phone. I have many clients that I work with over the phone and even clients from out of state. A really good coach, especially one with a psychology background could support you in addressing these issues right from your couch.

I hope you will be able to reach out and find someone to support you because I know that being isolated like you are can really amp up the difficulties you are struggling with. I couldn't have healed without the support of some really great people in my life and I had a degree in psychology and was a voracious reader. I had lots of information, however, it was really difficult to apply the information all on my own. I needed that other person to support me, listen to me, direct me, guide me, and most of all to give me the reality checks that really pushed me to the deep healing.

I'm so sorry to hear what you're going through. I have struggled with anxiety all my life, and only started taking meds for it after I had kids because I noticed how it (and I) affected them in ways I didn't like. I'd recommend you try a medication before you determine you don't like it (you can always stop after a couple weeks). I have never felt dependent on an SSRI, and any side effects for me have not come close to outweighing its benefits. I feel a much better Mom and wife, more in control of myself and my emotions, reactions to their actions, etc. Good luck.