Any Traditional Moms Out There?

Why do you have to be a SAHM to be those things?

We are strict, we have strong morals, I don't care what everyone else is doing, my kids have manners, they do chores without being paid, my son holds doors for people.

I work, by choice. My husband works, by choice. We split housework; although I do more because I am home more (he travels) and I am also the one most often in charge of kiddo scheduling. I really don't think you have to be a SAHM to be a traditional mom, it's one of those outdated notions that drive a wedge between moms and should be retired.

Yes, I stay home because that's what we decided before we even got married. I am very happy with it. I do all of the cleaning and most of the cooking. He loves to cook and is great at it, so he will maybe once or twice a week. When he gets home from work, he takes the kids to play and I get some time to myself. I love it!
The one thing I have noticed since moving here to VA, is that it is VERY hard to find a stay at home mom. I have only met 1 other mom who actually stays home. Also people are a lot more formal around here, than they are back home in Laguna Beach, CA. That is kind of 1 thing I don't like around here. People are a little too uptight and too strict.

I am very close to it, without being a stay at home mom. I can't be because I'm a single mom so I have to work or I would stay home. I have strong morals and don't buy that phrase. I teach manners. My 2 yr old says thank you, please, and asks for things like May I have the ball please. Right now she picks up her toys in her room or den and sometimes helps me make the bed, when she's older yeah, she'll be doing chores because she's a member of the family. I don't think she should get paid to help out around the house. If I had a husband though, I'd have these same values but work would be 50/50 because I'm all about equality too. I don't want a guy demanding my daughter to be a stay at home mom or whining if she works or acting like house work is "womens work"
If traditional means being a responsible mom who guides and teaches her child/ren then yes, but like other moms I'm not in the 30s and I would never tolerate a guy who won't help in the house and spend time with my child/ren.

Cast off the shackles of yesterday
Shoulder to shoulder into the fray
Our daughter's daughter's will adore us
And sing in grateful chorus...
Well Done!
Sister Suffragettes

Well... <grin> ... It all depends on how one views the term traditional.

I neither have a day and night nursery, nor nannies & nurses & governesses to staff them, which is the good 500+ year old traditional practice still employed by wealthy families. (But then again, I'm a peasant. So I should also point out that we have more than one bedroom & bed for the family, since peasants traditionally up past the industrial revolution all the way into the beginning of this century, all slept in the same room)

I use birth control (but then again, so did egyptian and greek mums in the delta for well over a thousand years - crocodile dung, when powdered is almost the exact same mixture and concentration of estrogen), so I have a limited number of children without a limited sex life.

I'm not blessed or saddled (depending on your view) with sister wives, nor am I kept in a harem away from prying male eyes.

I was not trained from infancy onward into a profession (in Japan, where I spent my childhood, both girls and boys were trained in the family profession from the time they could toddle - be that ninjistu/espionage or rice farming... only very very recently -last 50 years or so- have most Japanese families become "modern", traditional lives are VERY different from modern lives).

The term "traditional" is actually a not-so-lovely fiction when applies to America. We're not even 250 years old yet, a mere 5 or 6 generations, and we come from an absolute buffet of VERY different traditional lives. For those of us out west, as recently as only 1 or 2 generations back (many of our grandparents and their parents and theirs) never even held ONE job. They were farmers and trappers, with wives in the fields and skinning and tanning right along with their husbands.

Jump back into MY family history (british & norwegian) and it was the WOMEN who worked outside the home, by and large. During the industrial revolution it was the WOMEN who held the management positions and the vast majority of the employee jobs in factories (because we women were the ones who knew how to sew, and the industrial revolution was based primarilly on cloth production). For more than a generation (during the industrial revolution, talking peasant stock, again... because the wealthy NEITHER the husband or wife stayed home with the children nor did doestic tasks) it was MEN who stayed at home raising children. Women had paying jobs, men stayed at home and either "just" raised the children, or typically worked from home (crafting barrels, carving furniture, etc.). A small percentage of husbands were "away" working (mostly military or EIC type), but even then women USUALLY had paying jobs to support their families. Prior to the industrial revolution, women again usually worked (in or out of the home) after having children. There wasn't enough money to support raising a family without 2 incomes.

In my own family, women have always worked UNTIL just recently. Nurses, a doctor in the turn of the century, seamstresses, politics (sister suffragettes!), teachers... and in more modern times... doctors, nurses, engineers, professors.

Myself... I happen to be a SAHM. But in doing so I am breaking VERY strongly with tradition in order to do so.

I often wonder where on earth the ***idea*** that a 'traditional mom' came from. It's just so far from reality of the past several hundred years that I'm always just kind of blown away by the concept. The "tradition" is a mere 1-2 generations old, and completely opposite of what women have done for most of human history, both modern (industrial revolution onward) and older.

fascinating question! It is the 1st ? in a long time....to really strike me as totally offensive! & I say this with a smile....which surprises me.

I truly don't believe that "traditional mom" applies to SAHM. Both my Mother & Grandmother worked outside of the home at various times during their motherhood years, with my Mom working full-time by the time I was in school. With two generations working, wouldn't this be the definition of traditional? I was blessed with a "Leave it to Beaver" childhood even with a working Mom!

I can- honestly & truthfully- say that she achieved each of your benchmarks + a whole heck of a lot more! In addition to our "city" home, we also owned a lake home....built from the wooded lot up. Most wkends were spent at the lake, but my Mom still managed to home-can a lot of our goodies.....she sewed most of our clothes....she transported us to our evening activites....& worked 40 hours a week. Until we were teens, we spent an hour afterschool with our grandparents across the street. Summers were spent gloriously with all of our grandparents....either at our home, their homes, or at the lake!

I am proud to say that I, too, have achieved each of your benchmarks. For the 1st 12 years, I was a SAHM. I was not as content as I am now. When my DH lost his dream job & took a huge paycut, I went to work....part-time at first & then full-time. At that point, our sons were 3 & 12.

After a few years, I then decided to open an inhome daycare. I have been doing this for 10+ years now. I am continuing to hit each of your benchmarks & more! I do not consider myself a SAHM, because I am working & working hard.....10-11 hours each day!

So, in response to your question, I do not believe that SAHM & the phrase "traditional Mom" mean the same thing. In today's world, I don't even believe that "good Mom" & "traditional Mom" go hand-in-hand. I think a truly "GOOD MOM" has to adapt with the times while still providing a moral, loving childhood for her child.

I think this is basically an unfair question as it is implying that children of SAHMs are stricter, and more "value-oriented" than WMs.

I know plenty of working moms that are raising kids just as you described but WITH THE HELP of daycare or sitters and plenty of SAHsloths raising selfish little brats, you know?

Seriously, re-read your question. That may not be how you intended it--but it kind of sounds like it.

This is an odd post. Not offensive, just odd. It's 2011. I despise words like "husband is the bread winner". Remind yourself of your worth. If you have a husband who makes you feel like you are "supposed to" make lunches for him and do all the house work, then something isn't right. In my house we both do housework, happily. I work 2 days a week for fun money. That alone makes me feel like I am contributing. I don't ever have to feel like I am spending all if "his" money.

What does "traditional mother" mean? I know SAHM's that are horrible mothers. I know some who do nothing but sit on their couch all day while the kids are entertaining themselves. And keep in mind that children don't sit around the sandbox, and say "My mom is a sahm!" Or "My mom works instead of stay home to teach us traditional morals."

You do what what feels right for you, but it doesn't make you better.

.

There is no one 'template' of what a 'traditional' Mom is.

There are many factors in the mix:
- Politics
- cultural ethos
- world views
- what a person grew up with
- what a person experienced first hand, within their own lives as children and in becoming an Adult, and now a Parent. And how they either deposit that or not, into their own children.
- national connotations of what a "Mom' is and what that is traditionally.
- Ethnic traditions of that
- not all Women, are married, so there is no "Dad" or "Husband" in the picture.
- Gender biases or not.
- Not all Men, are that way either.

There is no one static linear unchanging connotation, of what a Mom is, or what a "proper" Mom is.
All women and Mom's... evolve.

The foundations of morals/rules/values.... is mostly a perspective reflecting the culture's 'ideals' of what is or is supposed to be right or wrong.
Manners/rules/values... is a 'glue' for overall society and what is acceptable or not. Every culture has that. But not in the same way.

And, everyone has a point of reference, or not. For how THEY themselves, now with children, further reiterate that or not, within their own children.
And, some people just don't know... what is appropriate or not. Nor with children.

I am a SAHM. On purpose. I am not a 'traditional' Mom.
I am, the best Mom I can be, for my children, who are individuals.
And who have, a good heart and minds. They too, are their own person. They know who they are and have solid sense of self's.
For that, I am proud.
My Husband and I, are evolving too. Hopefully for the best.
In NO way, do I think that Men only, are "breadwinners."

Today, is not the past.
But yes there are overall, per our society, ideals of what is normal or not, right or wrong, mannered or not.
Children are taught that.
Hopefully.
But teaching them that... is not finite nor static, nor only taught in ONE way. It is taught, WITHIN the culture and society, in which 'we' live. And then taught, about the world. Not just being "insular" and egocentric.
That, makes a 'whole' person.
Understanding, the world and cultures. In relation to you.
There is no one singular way, in which to do this.
That creates, a moral compass, and teaching a child that they are a part of the bigger picture.
That is what a Parent's job is. Not just a Moms.

I am a Mom.
Doing the best I can.
Home with my kids or not, we do what is our best.
For our children and family.
It is a partnership.

And... in NO way, do I think that SAHM's are better Moms than working Moms.
All Moms... are Moms.
Different shades of gray.

oh c'mon- another question that the SAHM's and working moms will have to defend themselves and their choices? blah! lol!! I'm sure you weren't trying to make it like that.....but of course that is what it will turn in to......so I guess here is my answer lol!
I'm a "values" mom and a mom with strong morals and who teaches manners. I actually work full time- and both my husband and I are big believers in being "good parents".....ie: ones with strong morals, who teach manners, give chores to kids, and teach them to be gentlemen and ladies......not sure how that means we can't also be parents who both bring in a paycheck (because it's both needed and b/c I have a graduate degree in a field where I help children that I would like to put to use), and BOTH do laundry and cook (actually- the hubby is much better at that than me! I'd rather clean toilets lol.! so, yep, I guess we are "traditional"!!!!!!!

I think traditional moms should take their job seriously, because when you are a housewife and mother it's hard work.
The house should be clean, the kids should be taught, the husband should be taken care of since he's making all the money to keep you in the home.
A stay at home mom that is lazy is very different than a stay at home mom that is efficient. A stay at home mom that is efficient is envied by the moms that work away from home. The stay at home moms that are lazy are looked down upon by the moms that work outside of the home.
Just my observation.
I think it's best for the family if its affordable for mom to raise the kids.
There's a very secure feeling when a home has mom in it all the time.
Unfortunately, with progress, this has changed. I'm glad women have the opportunity to have a choice, but I still believe child rearing has taken a back seat and it has affected our nation as a whole.

I am a values mom.

I was a single parent by choice. I found out I was pregnant after I broke up with my daughter's dad. He wanted to get married and I declined. Marrying someone I was no longer in love with just because I was pregnant with his baby would have been wrong.

I have worked since I was 16, and went back to school full-time as well as working full-time when she was a toddler. Her dad, who was often "between jobs" (teranslation: unemployed and not looking for work) came over and stayed with her a lot of times while I was at school or work.

She lived by MY rules, not everyone else's, although my rules were often LESS strict than everyone else's.

Manners: I didn't require "sir" and "ma'am" but I did require "please" and "thank you" and I required "yes" and "no" instead of grunts of "uh huh" and "uh uh." I didn't require her to be seen and not heard while adults were conversing, but I did require her to say"excuse me" if she wanted to contribute to the conversation.

Morals: I didn't teach abstinence until mariage, I taught "no sex until you're old enough to be able to deal with any unpleasant consequences" "never have sex with anyone unless it's what YOU really want," and "show respect for yourself and your partner by insisting on safe sex." I taught her to own her mistakes, and modeled it by apologizing to her when I was wrong.

"Ladies" and "gentlemen" - not sure exactly what you mean by that. Did I teach her to wait for someone with dangly bits to open her door or always expect him to pay for dates? No. I did teach her how to change the oil in the car and how to change a tire.

I'm married now and I am the main breadwinner. My husband and I share housework. He's a better housekeeper than I am. He usually makes my lunch in the morning.

My daughter is now grown and has told me on more than one occasion that she is glad I raised her the way I did. She is 21, a full-time college student, works two jobs, plans to apply to veterinary school in another semester, has a strong sense of ethics, registered to vote on her 18th birthday, and she and her fiance have their own apartment. She has grown into the kind of person I would want in my life even if she didn't have my DNA.

And I wouldn't have it any other way.

Nope cause I don't live in the fifties. I am a stay at home mom but I've also been a working mom. It didn't change how I parented one inch. My husband helps with all house hold chores. Right now we have an if I cook it, you clean it rule. Works great. You betcha my daughter is taught manners, and I am strong, strong believer in a broken rule has consequences. I guess I am not sure about the ladies thing. My daughter likes to play in the dirt, jump off things, and rough house. I guess none of those things are very lady like. But she does say please and thank you, and most recently Bless you, which warms my heart.

How does one become a stay at home mom on accident?

I haven't read the responses (because I don't care what everyone else is doing! lol ;), but here's mine:

When my husband and I got married, we made the decision that I would work until the first baby came. All of my money would be put into savings. I ended up pregnant before we anticipated, and during my third trimester, I quit my job. I have not worked outside the home since. It's been over 14 years. We both felt very strongly about our children having their Mom at home with them.

The morals we teach our children are not particularly popular in our more liberal world. We teach what the Bible says. All of our morals are based on the Bible.

Everyone else can do what they want to. THIS is how we choose to live our lives. That's what I tell my children!

As for manners, well, see my post titled "are good manners out of style?". I I'm raising ladies and gentlemen. I'm also raising MEN and WOMEN, NOT boys and girls! That's a big thing for me. Too many people forget that they are, likely, raising someone's future spouse (thank God my mother in law didn't forget that :)!

Chores are something everyone does. I don't get paid to take care of the children or do the laundry. Why do they need to get paid to clean their rooms or help with dishes? They help because they are part of the FAMILY. Plain and simple!

That said, hubby IS the breadwinner, and I DO do most of the "housework" and childcare, because I'm home more. BUT he (and the children :) do help out. Everyone has things they do; milk the goats, gather the eggs, dust, vacuum, laundry. It's all a working, helping situation. Family helps family.

That said...Most days I do make his lunch for him, but that's because he spends time with the kids in the morning before he leaves. :)

I LOVE the way things are. I'm pretty much living a life as close to a dream as is possible!

I for one totally get what you mean....and yes-I am a 'tradtitional' mom by what I know that you are implying by your definition in the year of 2011. Ask this question in 20 years and the traditional mom will probably be a working mom but for now it means in mine-and most people's-defintions a mom who stays home and raises her children and manages her household while her husband provides the money for the household.

As for the rest of your question...I do strive to be that mom who raises her kid on tradtiional values and I think I am doing a pretty good job of it. I do now people who do it better but many more who miss the mark.

To answer your last question...why yes, yes I do like it. I like it very much thank you. I like that I am there for my children the second they walk in the door. I loved that I was there for my children in the mornings when they woke up when they were infants and able to be with them and nurture then all day long. I loved that I was there to enjoy all of their firsts firsthand rather than hearing their account from their day care 'provider'. What I do not like is the implication that I am a sloth because I have chosen to do this. And I really hate the fact that insecure working moms need to jump down your throat for this question.

In our home, since our daughter was born, the "traditional roles" have been reversed - I am the main breadwinner and my husband has stayed home. The simple fact is I am better educated and have far more earning potential than he does. We are both fairly strict with our daughter and have high expectations for her behavior, how she conducts herself, and how she will do in school. We also tend to split the housework fairly evenly because there are just some things I am better at and more on top of, and other things he is better at. I'd like to think that we are showing our daughter (who will be turning 4 soon) how Mommies and Daddies can work together as equal partners. And that I am being a good role model to my daughter by showing that she can be whatever she wants to be if she puts her mind to it, and that being able to be financially independent (if necessary) is a good thing. You don't have to be a "Traditional Mom" to be a great mom! It takes all kinds!

Hi - My husband is a stay-at-home dad on purpose. We thought it was important for one of us to be home with the kids, and it made more sense for it to be him. I liked my job and made more money than he did, and he hated his job and line of work. He is also more patient than I am and can spend all day playing on the floor with a two-year-old! I wish he would do more cleaning :), but he is a fantastic dad and that's all I ask. I think being a good parent is much more important than being a "traditional" parent. And I actually think that Mom working and Dad at home works well - I tend to take over the parenting duties when I get home from work and on weekends, so I get lots of time with the kids, and my husband gets a break. I know a lot of SAHMs who never get a break, and their kids get a dad who works all the time. Might be "traditional," but seems sad to me.

Yep your description fits my family to a tee except for the making husband's lunch. He gets up way before us and if he wants to take lunch he can make it himself. I do most of the cooking, cleaning etc but hubby will jump in if asked with no griping. Family is very, very important to us and we don't believe in daycare, someone needs to be available to the children 24/7 and it doesn't matter what their age is (6 months or 16 years). I am very happy with how things are and hope they can continue that way. We all vacation together never leaving the kids with family. We live our life according to how we can survive on one salary. We bought a house we could afford, we have one car, our expenses are limited, we have zero debt except for the mortgage, we do not buy anything that doesn't fit into the budget and we save money for a rainy day. Our kids will learn to have manners, behave in public and be punished when needed. I will teach them to be strong and independent and to follow their dreams.

Yes indeedy, I'm a values mom! I work full time outside the home and my husband and I make joint decisions. I am more highly educated than my husband, and I earn more. The values/traits that I try to instil in my children and that are very important to our family are: strength of character, integrity, loyalty, a good (my mother would say 'protestant') work ethic, an inquiring and intelligent mind, independence, equality and love.

I am raising my boys to be gentlemen, and to treat all people with kindness. being a traditional mom (as in your definition) is not a prerequisite for raising gentlemen or having values.

I am not sure how to take this question. The only things that I would say fit the description of traditional, in your post are that staying at home being what you "SHOULD" do, and the male sole breadwinner/ female homemaker gender roles. Nowadays, what you are calling Traditional in my opinion is old fashioned, It has been decades now that families are finding more personally fulfilling ways to live happily ever after. It does not go hand in hand that a stay at home mom who does the housework whose husband is the sole breadwinner does a better job of or tries harder to raise polite responsible children with values.

I'm the best mom I am able to be and the only type of mom I know how to be. The same as my mother was, in very different circumstances. She was a hard-working farm wife.

I work part-time as a consultant and also work with private clients. I'm writing my dissertation to complete my PhD, I'm earning my Black Belt in karate. My daughter has (and loved it) but no longer attends daycare because between her father and I, we are available for her. Her father and I are very amicably divorced, so she has two households. He is retired and volunteers. We share financial responsibility. We each care for our own home.

We have strong morals and values that we are teaching our daughter. We make our own parenting decisions, not based on what others are doing or NOT doing. Our daughter has manners and knows how to use them. She does chores. We treat her with respect and caring and expect the same in return.

At nine she is a wonderfully intelligent, witty, fun, free-thinking, well-liked girl who is excelling in school, music, karate, swimming, and has good friends. She is already showing interest in science or medicine as a career.

I'm glad that I am able to show her that life is what we make it through hard work and focus. And that her choices are unlimited.

If I had my way I'd never do anything in the world but stay home with my kiddo. I wanted him desperately, and now that he's here, I find him absolutely one of the most delightful people to be around. He's so smart and funny and engaging.

I am fortunate enough that I get to be home with him 5 days a week. Then, every Friday night and every Saturday night, I get to go to work from 7 pm to 7 am and be a nurse, and take care of other people's children, leaving my husband to take care of my child. I am doubly fortunate in that although I only work 2 days a week, my employer pays me as if I work 3 days and allows me to get my benefits at the full-time employee rate, instead of the part-time employee rate.

I also do all of our laundry, all of our pet care, all of our grocery shopping, and the majority of our housework.

My husband is pursuing his dream at the moment, but he does so from home. So he is home with our kiddo essentially 24/7. So I am the breadwinner, provide the bulk of the childcare, and do the majority of the housework. Is that traditional? Who cares? It works for us - he pursues his dream, we have income/benefits, and I get to spend the majority of my time with my child.

What the hell is a "values mom"? All people have values ... they just might not be *your* particular values. I'm going to try to raise my son to find his own values and to stand up for those values.

I'm not strict. I have no intentions of being strict. I have no desire to try to raise my son in a restrictive and joyless environment, or one so repressive that it pushes him to extremes to express himself or enjoy anything in life. We are very liberal people - some of the things we find tolerable or even enjoyable would probably be morally reprehensible to some of the "values" and "moral" moms who are so strict. I'm ok with that.

I'd say I'm pretty opposite towards what you've described and except for the staying home with your kids (either parent, not singling out moms as the best person to do so) I'd say that's far from an ideal situation.

Yes, I'm a traditional mom. I stay at home and my husband works.

In fact I've been referred to as the 1950s housewife. I cook, clean, sew, run errands, take care of the kids, and pack lunches for my husband and son. At meal time I prepare the plates and serve them to the family, and get up when seconds are wanted or drinks need to be refilled. I do all of the laundry, ironing, and do clothing repairs as needed (like sew on buttons, fix a seam, and I've even darned socks).

Our son does chores, but does not get an allowance. The motto in our home is "Live here, work here." Everyone chips in. We believe that this way teaches him strong work ethic and responsibility. When he needs/wants money for something we provide it. He is also taught how to save and invest his money. We are more strict than many of his friends' parents, and do not accept "but everyone is doing it." We want to raise him to be an individual who is strong enough to make his own decisions and stand by them, even when doing so is not the popular thing.

My husband and I realize that we have very old fashioned views by most people's standards. We are fine with that. We do not push our point of view on others, and don't tell people who do or think differently that they are wrong. Like most families, we do what we believe is best for us.

Well I am a stay at hom mom(on purpose) and I don't know about traditional. I am not strict but my kids aren't hellions either. I don't make my husbands lunch event though he busts his but to support us so I can stay home(I have my reasons) My sons hold doors open for people without being told and say thank you and please but not always (does that make me a bad mom?) My boys know they are mIghty men of God and I tell them often and tell them why. I value my faith and my relationship with God and my boys see that and they do too. My oldest feeds the dog and lets her out because I tell him to. They clean their room because it's there's and sometimes it becomes a fire hazard. I do all the housework because my husband doesn't care if we live in filth(or so he says if I ask him to vacum..lol)) I never hear every one else is doing it because we make it clear what they are aloud to do and since they are good boys mostly they are aloud to do things that are age appropriate. I don't feel you have to be a SAHM to be this kind of traditional parent. I actually give working moms all kinds of credit. Their lives are crazy busy and I don't know if I could handle being on the go all the time.

I chose to be a SAHM though I had intended on going back to work after our daughter was born. I didn't think I SHOULD be one I decided that's what I wanted to do. I don't see daycare as someone else raising my daughter I see it as an opportunity for a child to learn and experience things from people outside the family. I don't see staying home with my daughter as the most rewarding thing I've ever done. It's a choice we made and I'm glad we made it. I enjoy being able to be with her.

I'm not June Cleaver. My house is always a mess, I'm behind in laundry and there are always dishes to be done. I don't believe in having a spotless house, child, a hot meal on the table and being dolled up before my husband walks through the door at the end of the day. I don't believe in being subservient for any reason, especially just because he earns the money for our family. WE had a child together and it's OUR job to raise her, not just mine. WE have a home together so BOTH of us have a responsibility to make sure it's cared for and kept up. WE make decisions together. If I don't feel like cooking my husband is certainly capable of putting a meal on the table and he does and isn't mad about it. Providing a paycheck isn't the only way to contribute and provide for your family and my husband and I both agree that WE built this life TOGETHER so WE will manage it and enjoy it TOGETHER.

I wouldn't say that we're strict or lenient. I think we fall in the middle. Everyone has a right to their opinion and have it heard and we'll definitely do that. Everyone has a right to be treated with respect regardless of their age and we do that. We do have rules in our house and our child(ren) will be expected to adhere to those rules or there will be consequences because that's real life and that's how they can show respect to me and my husband. We will let our kids have some room to grow and learn the world on their own but with us always available should they stumble or fall. Our job isn't to puppeteer them it's to teach them and guide them. They need to learn to think on their own or they won't survive once they're away from us.

It's important for us to raise children who are respectful, use their manners and contribute to the family and home they live in without being paid to do it. Teaching a girl to be a lady, I don't think so. To me the word lady has a negative connotation.To me it means to shut your mouth and go along with whatever a man wants, to not disagree with anyone, not raise a stink if you firmly disagree with something etc.. Our daughter will be taught to use her words wisely so as to get her point across but without hurting someone else's feelings or bulldozing over others. She'll be taught not to burp and fart in public but so will a son if we have one. Our children, regardless of sex will be taught good manners, how to behave at the theater, a nice restaurant, a funeral and how to be respectful of others. If we have a son he'll be taught to hold doors open for people and that some girls may enjoy him opening their car doors. He'll know that he has to go inside and meet a girl's parents before taking her on a date and to be respectful of her when things get intimate. I don't really think that's teaching him to be a gentleman but rather a good human since I'll teach my daughter the same.

I like the way things are. My husband and I are a team in every way and I don't think either of us would want it any other way. Our job is to raise children who will positively impact the world in some way, any way. They don't have to be doctors or lawyers pretty much any job will do as long as they do it well with pride and integrity.

I don't think there are traditional roles anymore. Everyone has to do what's best for them. Staying at home with your kids isn't better than working or vice versa. Tolerance and respect are keys to life no matter what your job.

I guess I'm a mix of traditional and whatever term you would use to represent the opposite.

I stayed at home and breastfed my daughter (also co-slept, because this worked beautifully for both of us) for her first two years. An unreliable first husband and a need to pay my living expenses required that I go back to work after that.

I taught her strong morals, independent thinking, and fabulous manners by living that example, not by punishing. She had perhaps two time-outs during her first five years, was never spanked in punishment except for two emergency swats on the hip to alert her to danger. People were always commenting on how mature she was. She participated in chores that we both did playfully together or separately. She did not learn that "chores" were an undesirable activity, so she seldom had cause to avoid them.

She grew up being herself, neither a "lady" nor a tomboy. She liked doing girly things and was also very athletic. She was seen by her teachers as a natural leader, highly motivated, a person who knew how to get things done. Now that she's grown, she's been 6 years in a most excellent marriage and is the caring, thoughtful mother of a simply awesome 5yo boy. She's using essentially the same approach of compassionate parenting that I used – only as strict as necessary to get consistent results. No spanking, very few time-outs, and lots of explanation and communication. She has a successful career, but managed to stay at home for the first several months of her son's life.

She and her husband are co-leaders of their household, as are my second husband and I (now happily married into our 30th year together). We all seem able to recognize our strengths, and step forward when those are needed, as well as our weaknessness, and we defer to our spouses for leadership in those areas.

We are living what I hope will eventually become a "new" traditional. I'm proud of my parenting. I made plenty of mistakes, but if anyone knew how truly dysfunctional my childhood family was, I think they would agree that I worked hard, and pretty successfully, to establish a healthier pattern. And my daughter is, in turn, working with great conscious attention to becoming the best mom possible.

I am such bull headed strong willed gal, but when it comes to my home, I definitely fall more into more of the I guess old school ideas of marriage and family. I waited a long time to choose my prince, because I knew this about myself and never wanted to marry a bully who would take advantage of the giver in me or a man who would think that I needed to prove myself in the work force. I wanted my knight in shining armor I guess!! :D I do make my hubby's lunch and do the cooking, cleaning etc. I have a night off every week to get out and unwind bc I am still busy on the weekends ;) I always wanted to be able to be home with my kids so I made sure when I was considering marriage that my husband to be and I were on the same page in that area, bc for me that was a deal breaker. I think I do place a high standard on manners, like I think children should speak to someone that enters our home and say please and thank you but I also think they aren't perfect and are in a learning process, so we are not like militaristic on this, we just teach them to be respectful human beings. We do teach our son's to respect girls and my husband will be teaching them how to pursue a young lady down the line. So I guess we are a bit more on the traditional roles, we are happy. I think the key is really taking a minute when you meet someone to talk and really see if you two are on the same page with life expectations, either way. One of my best friend's would never consider staying home, she worked very hard to get the career she has and she is going back to work after her baby is born. I get that, it just wasn't for me. Her husband is perfectly fine with it so they match which is what counts most for a happy home in my opinion. If you marry someone that is very similar to you in values and interests I think it helps, I mean Lord knows there is still plenty to argue about regardless!! I don't think this was divisive question at all by the way!

Kind of! I choose to stay home because I can't think of anything else that would be more important for me to do. I think raising my kids is my job, and I can't stand the thought of letting other people do it. We would go to extremes to keep me in this position because we find it that important.

My husband is the bread winner. He works hard for our family, and we love it. Neither of us expects me to be bringing in the money since we feel like my job is to focus on raising/teaching the kids (I homeschool).

As for boys being gentlemens and girls being ladies - absolutely.

As for cooking/cleaning/household chores - my kids actively participate in cleaning the house. Even my 2 yr old. I do the cooking. Hubby does none, but that's mostly because he never learned how. If he's in charge of the meal, he goes and buys one.

I do try to keep the house up myself, but it seems a little lopsided that my husband only goes to work and I'm in charge of almost everything else. When I only had one or two kids, it was more equal for me to be in charge of that, plus the kids. But now with baby #5 almost here (four of them will be under the age of 5), my job is much more complicated and time consuming than my husband's. I definitely appreciate all his work and effort, so I don't mean that in any way to belittle what he's doing. Just that I'd be lying to say him solely working and me keeping up the house, kids, cooking, cleaning, schooling, money...that's too much for me and not enough for him! So, we share the cleaning load. I still do most of it, but he helps quite a bit. My goal is to one day, when they are old enough, have the house easily kept up with the kids helping more than they can now. Then hopefully hubby won't be doing much at all.

As for discipline, I am a big believer in it, but I do not believe in discipline where I dominate my children and am super strict with them. I expect obedience and kindness and love, etc. I more lean along the lines of wanting to lead them (not dominate) and help pull/encourage their potential from them. I try to make everything as positive as I can. Cleaning is something we do together and try to make it fun (turn on fun music and share the cleaning load!). I guess what I'm saying is, I don't believe in the traditional strictness that many families do. My mom did that, and there are too many long term problems that come from it! (interesting studies about this too) So, we choose to approach it differently with the same goal in mind in having well behaved, well mannered, kind, respectful, loving kids.

And, I don't know what the common view here is with women in this position, but I fully believe men and women are equal. I don't do this because I feel less than or like my husband is a man and should be in charge of everything. He and I both respect each other and our positions in the family and we work together for our family. Neither one is in charge of the other. We love it...and each other...and our kidlets. I wouldn't have it any other way!

i am a huge traditional mom :). it's funny cause i never thought that i would ever get married or have kids. i had my daughter (now 7), and went back to work for about a month when she was 3 months old. my mom was watching her, but i still wanted to be home with her. my husband agreed. i now have a 7yo and almost 5yo. my husband works overnights. he does the outside yard work, and i do everything inside. i cook, clean, gave kids a bath, deal with the animals, take kids to school, etc. i do have my kids do certain things like clean their rooms, and pick up after themselves. they also now let the dogs in and out. i don't give them an allowance. like you said, it's their house, too, and they should take pride in it and take care of it. i'm ALWAYS telling my kids (when they say, well so and so did it) that those others aren't my kids and they can do what they want. if they WERE my kids they wouldn't be doing it. my son has been holding doors open for people for the last year or so and most of the time they say please, thank you, etc. we are working on "ma'am and sir" but that ones hard because my husband thinks it's silly to say to us since we are their parents, but i think that they should. i do it because i enjoy spending time with my kids. i love that i can spend time with them without feeling rushed with dinner/bath/homework. i love that i can go and volunteer at their schools. i love that they love for me to be there with them. i love that i can spend time with my husband since his work schedule is 5 days one week and 2 the next. it works for us. i don't like that i feel guilty for feeling i'm not helping financially. i had worked since i was 15 to help out my single mother. she didn't have an education so all of us kids had to help out. plus my sister had a daugther young so we all helped with her too. i feel like i'm not doing my part, even though i know in my heart that i am. sometimes i worry that my husband will get hurt at work (he's in high risk) and that since i don't have a degree yet, we're in trouble. i don't like not having my own money to be able to spend it on whatever i feel like. i don't like not being able to buy my husband gifts for fathers day, christmas, etc. but honestly, being able to spend time with my family and instill the values i believe will enable them to be confident, well adjusted individuals is more important to my husband and me. i definitely don't think that there is anything wrong with working or that parents who do work don't have the same relationship or can't do the same things that SAHM's do, and in fact i applaud that they are able to do everything that they do, it seems much harder than what i do :), but it's just not for me.

I am very close to this. My husband knew before we got married that once kids came along I would no longer work. I think it is just too important for their well being for me to work. I love being a stay at home mom, it is the best decision I ever made. DH sees the good in it too.

We teach our kids values and demand respect from them. We want our kids to grow up to be wonderful adults who put others first and are respectful of all people.

I do almost all of the cleaning DH helps with some things, especially since I am pregnant and very tired right now. He does the cooking simply because he loves it and is a better cook than I am.

yes to everything you said

except i do give my oldest an allowance

I would say we are more traditional. I chose to work as minimally as I could (I am a nurse) because I wanted to raise my kids myself, not have someone else see the "firsts." I am very happy with my decision and am lucky to have a job that is very flexible.

Along with staying home came the cooking and cleaning. I did it because I had the time and my husband didn't. Not that I thought I "should" but the system worked. HOWEVER, my kids are in school now and I am working more. I am still the sole cook in the house which IRRITATES me. Now I work, grocery shop, house keep and cook and my husband just works. My husband can't seem to let go of the traditional roles which makes me a bit bitter.

As far as raising the kids we emphasize good manners and hold firm to values (being a good friend, family is important, being responsible, etc). Our biggest efforts go in to making sure they are doing what is age appropriate (no cell phones, no texting, no early ear piercing, etc.) We are trying hard not to to follow the tide and stick to our values but in this society it is harder than following the crowd.

I guess you are talking to me!!!

We did everything we did planning on my not working...so we made sure we could live off my husband's salary.....I admit I've worked at times while my kids were younger but I've always gravitated back to home....

I am a "drill sergeant" - no means no. You don't hit girls (although I've said if you are W. enough to hit, you're W. enough to be hit back)...

Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am....Yes Sir. No Sir. Firm handshakes. Good grades are expected in school. We aren't looking for perfection but we are looking for them to always do their best.

We are working hard to raise our kids with values...no swearing, keeping them informed on social situations and how to best judge and avoid certain situations....especially since our oldest is 11....

I do the house work, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping...yes, hubby will run to the store, etc.

I don't make their lunches for school - they like the school lunches but they do ask for them every once in a while and I fix it. I make my husband's lunch every day..make sure he has coffee when he wakes up as well...by no means am I a "Stepford" wife...but I do make sure things are tidy (well, right now, it's not!!) but you get it....

our kids have chores and earn an allowance...things are just not "given" to them. They are rewarded for good behavior...and have consequences for poor behavior.

I'm happy with the way things are....I sell things on ebay to make funny money for me...we have no debt but for the home mortgage...although that might change if we have to buy a new car for me.....URGH!!! I don't want to deplete the savings account for that!!!

Updated

I guess you are talking to me!!!

We did everything we did planning on my not working...so we made sure we could live off my husband's salary.....I admit I've worked at times while my kids were younger but I've always gravitated back to home....

I am a "drill sergeant" - no means no. You don't hit girls (although I've said if you are W. enough to hit, you're W. enough to be hit back)...

Yes Ma'am and No Ma'am....Yes Sir. No Sir. Firm handshakes. Good grades are expected in school. We aren't looking for perfection but we are looking for them to always do their best.

We are working hard to raise our kids with values...no swearing, keeping them informed on social situations and how to best judge and avoid certain situations....especially since our oldest is 11....

I do the house work, cleaning, laundry and grocery shopping...yes, hubby will run to the store, etc.

I don't make their lunches for school - they like the school lunches but they do ask for them every once in a while and I fix it. I make my husband's lunch every day..make sure he has coffee when he wakes up as well...by no means am I a "Stepford" wife...but I do make sure things are tidy (well, right now, it's not!!) but you get it....

our kids have chores and earn an allowance...things are just not "given" to them. They are rewarded for good behavior...and have consequences for poor behavior.

I'm happy with the way things are....I sell things on ebay to make funny money for me...we have no debt but for the home mortgage...although that might change if we have to buy a new car for me.....URGH!!! I don't want to deplete the savings account for that!!!

I stay home because we felt it was important that the children have their mom at home. We felt that the children would benefit from structure and discipline and from having mom around to kiss the boo boos, to pick them up from school, to take them to their activities, to volunteer at school, and to help with homework and such.
My oldest is off to college this year. My being there kept my kids on the straight and narrow. My being there allowed them to have their family close while still participating in the activities they love. My husband also participates when he can. He has NEVER missed a performance, a game, a competition, anything. I can't tell you how many times my children have said something like, "I can't believe that so and so's mom never comes to anything. I'm really glad you and Daddy can be there for us."
If I had a nickel for "but everyone else is doing... or everyone else has...". My answer has always been: If you really want that, I'll need to go back to work. My children have never told me to go back to work. They have ALWAYS said, "No. I don't want you to go back to work." They know how good they have it.
I would make the same decision again - to stay home with the children. My family needs to come first.
LBC

My husband is the breadwinner, but we split the housework in half. He knows MY job is really hard, too. I shouldn't have to do everything here, just because I don't work outside the home. I work all day too, so my reward is to do everything here...um...no. We are very big on values and manners. Our son is only two, so we're really just starting on basic manners. My son will help with chores and contribute to the household. However, I will give him opportunities to do extra things for a bit of money. I definitely want to teach him the value of a dollar, hard work, and how to manage money.

We did choose for me to be a SAHM. I wanted to be one. In addition, my husband practically grew up in daycare, and he is against putting our son in daycare. I did not ever attend daycare, so I was a little leery of the prospect myself. I'm glad that we have managed to live on his small salary, because I can't imagine missing out so much on my son's life. We have planned to homeschool before we even conceived, so it just makes sense to be home with him now.

I'm in the same boat as "M.". I am a traditional/old fashioned SAHM, but did not come from a family like this... at all.

My husband was blessed and fortunate enough to have a childhood and adolescence that I did not have access to. He was surrounded by a grounded Christ loving family and both sets of grandparents. Has friends that he's known for his whole life, and really had a great foundation. I want that for my 3 kids. I wanted it for myself, but am genuinely thankful that I am where I'm at today. I just could have done with a little less heartache.

My husband knows the value of hard work, and so do I. We live on a farm, and he is a big part of his father and uncle's family business. But when he comes home from work, he does not lounge around, he is back to work. The kids are learning about chores, responsibilities, helping, working just by watching him. There is always a job to do.

During the day I have normal chores, laundry, grocery store, *reprimanding*, etc, etc. but I also try to pick up the slack with farm stuff. I do things around here so someone else doesn't have to. It's a discipline, really. Certainly there are times that I do not want to, but I do it so he does not have to. I don't know that he even knows that, but it is one of my ways that I can love him.

I know that my children do not have the same life as some of the other kids in their classes, but I hope that they will grow up really appreciating what we are trying to give them. Sometimes they complain when they have to go gather eggs, but I know one day they will look back and understand.

As for values, we are pretty much traditional all the way. Again, not how my family was/is. I am trying my best to teach my son to be chivalrous, and genuinely care for people. My daughter is young, but as she gets older I want her to be proud to be a girl and cherish herself and find value in herself, so she won't try to find it with someone else, like a man. I want them to be disciplined and obedient, but not robotically so. I encourage them to be their own persons and try to have a loving a warm home, but don't break the rules ;) because there will be consequences.

I make a home cooked meal most evenings, mostly pack lunches, my husband comes home for lunch, so I make him something then, too. And this is the way that my husband likes it. I can't imagine having a job, and what I would do with my children. Luckily their grandparents live on the same family farm, but even leaving my kids all of the time with grandma would be hard. And I really couldn't see the benefit to me working outside of the home.

I am blessed that I even have the option. And I know it. My heart goes out there to any mom who reluctantly works.

It was fun reading all of these posts.
KATIE

www.cochranfarmlife.blogspot.com

I am a stay at home mom, ON PURPOSE, b/c I think I should be one. Because I think for our family and my childhood having my mom at home, was best for us and I think it will be best for my children. I want to be there for every little thing and I am too much of a 'M.' at heart to let anyone else watch my kids. I just miss them too much.
I have strong morals and try to influence my children with them. I am a laid back mom on some things like tv, etc but yet am strict on others like manners. I believe in paying children for extra chores but not for the norm like making your bed, taking your plate over, putting your laundry away, etc
I am really big on teaching our son to be a gentlemen to the ladies and I have asked my husband to impress this upon our son any chance he gets. My husband makes sure to mention to our son or have him shop with him every time he buys me flowers, etc I, as the mom, take the first bite at dinner, my husband holds the doors for me and teaches our son to do the same, etc
My husband is the breadwinner and I like that. If I made more, we would be ok with that too, but I do like the man being 'in charge' so to speak. I like my husband driving the car when we are all together, I like feeling protected and respected by him. I also like having a say-so in things. I make my children's lunch most of the time but my son likes to buy every once in awhile. I like to know what they are eating and how much. I do not make my husband's lunch, he makes it the way he wants it. My husband does the cooking b/c he loves to cook. I do the house work and he does the yard work. Very traditional upbringings for us and we are trying to do the same for our children.
:o)

I am 100% a traditional mom.
I am everything you said above.

Funny thing is, I was not raised like this.

My mom was never home. She smokes cig.'s. Drinks, Party's.
You name it she did it.
I had a very hard childhood and I turned out good.

I had a family member say to me " I never thought you would be a Suzy homemaker ", needless to say I was not happy with her.
In time I realized what she ment by that. She said it because she knew my mother was such a bad example and she thought that I would follow in her foot steps.

Thank the Lord, I turned out to be a SAHM who turned out to be a traditional mom.

= )

I am so glad I'm not your defiintion of a traditional mom...and I find some of the responses below outrageous...

I'm not traditional in anyway shape or form, and I don't want my kids to be either. They are well taken care, polite, respectful and purely themselves.

Of course my husband is a work from home dad, and I work outside the home. We parent together, do chores together (including our children), make decisions together...so no we are not this "traditional" family/mom/dad ... But we are happy, well adjusted, loving, caring...doesn't make those of you who are traditional better than us. And by some of the responses...that is my interpretation.

I would LOVE to be a SAHM... can't afford to be. My husband currently is the main bread winner, but my salary pays for a lot too - and when I'm done with my schooling (moving up the ranks of Nursing) I'll be the main bread winner, but hopefully not working as many hours to do so.

I do feel beiung strict on certain issues is important as well as following thru on discipline.

I teach my child good manners, assertiveness, love of learning, kindness, being social, to be curious and to be an individual.

We do have similar beliefs and values. Our family goal is for one parent to be SAH w the kids, we have 3 small boys 6,4, 20mos, and want one more :)

The problem has been the job market, I have had to continue to work as a nurse while my husband has been laid off and hired on for *contracts*.. I love working (NICU RN) but would like to be able to do it way less than my 24 hrs a week.

Our family is just happier and I run smoother when I am able to be a SAHM! I love preparing healthy low cost meals, gardening, teaching the kids, going places. With me working we just don't always have that flexibility.

Soooo he is working in Alexandria and I am still in OH with the kids, we are looking to buy a house in Fort Washington, with the goal of me not having to work!!!!

I am a stay at home mom right now because i made that choice. we are an active christian family, so we have traditional christian morals. but i like to add my own personality in the mix, because im not your average lady. and i mean for this decade... or century...
i love the old fashioned way of living life with the new fashioned way of open minded thinking, you know what i mean?

im sort of a liberal conservative. lol.

lets take the best of both worlds!

I am pretty traditional. Although, I would like to go back to work. I am a teacher by trade, so once they're in school I'll have the same schedule.
Why? Probably because my husband and I were both raised that way and it just feels right. Of our siblings, we are the most strict. As the youngest children, my husband and I have both been blessed with learning from our siblings' parenting accomplishments and mistakes.

I stay home, But I am not sure if it's totally by my choice - more my husbands choice. He thought it would be best for the kids, if mom was at home, and of course it is.
I do everything around the house, I make lunches for everyone, including my husband. When he comes home from work, I bring his dinner on a tray. Because he is tired.
I teach my son to have manners, and my daughter to be a lady. My kids do chores, to earn screen time, rather than money.
I am not particularly strict.
My husband earns the money, we have a joint account, and I have a card, I can spend what I want within budget.
During the week I can do what I like when he is at work. When he is home, he wants us there because he misses us.
I have not always enjoyed being home, I find it boring a lot of times, and I will be glad in some ways to go back to work, which I will once my daughter is old enough. Though I will MISS her!
I am both traditional and non I guess.

Updated

I stay home, But I am not sure if it's totally by my choice - more my husbands choice. He thought it would be best for the kids, if mom was at home, and of course it is.
I do everything around the house, I make lunches for everyone, including my husband. When he comes home from work, I bring his dinner on a tray. Because he is tired.
I teach my son to have manners, and my daughter to be a lady. My kids do chores, to earn screen time, rather than money.
I am not particularly strict.
My husband earns the money, we have a joint account, and I have a card, I can spend what I want within budget.
During the week I can do what I like when he is at work. When he is home, he wants us there because he misses us.
I have not always enjoyed being home, I find it boring a lot of times, and I will be glad in some ways to go back to work, which I will once my daughter is old enough. Though I will MISS her!
I am both traditional and non I guess.

Riley J.: awesome answer!!!

I am the first true stay at home mom in my mom's side. My mom worked, her mom worked, her mom worked and the same back down the line. On my dad's side my great grandmother was a "work at home mom" and made money sewing, providing daycare to the kids... and um, gambling down at the local bar.

For us, staying at home is SO weird, and everyone couldn't believe that I was even considering it!

My children are raised to be compassionate and considerate. Often that includes "please and thank you" type morals and manners... but I don't care if it is traditional, you are either considerate, or you are not. I try to instill integrity, self-responsibility, thoughtfulness, confidence, honesty, and inner strength in my daughters. I don't want them to be "subservient" to men... I want them to feel that they are equal, useful and valuable. I think part of being "liberated" as a woman is having the ability to choose, as a family, how your family will function... in MY family we want to be the most active factor in how our kids are raised... thus, I stay home. Also, it makes sense for us financially.

My husband has the income, and I stay home... if he could breastfeed, and I could currently make significantly more than he does, maybe he would stay home! I do most of the housework... and most of the childcare... but certainly not all of it. The house is my 8 hour job, so in 8 hours on a good day i can usually keep the house in working order. When he gets home... we share what is "left".

I LOVE the way things are. I wouldn't change a thing. BUT I don't think that staying at home is "better than" working, or having dad be the "breadwinner" is "better than" having mom be in charge. I am NOT running around in a pinafore and stillettos or having my daughter stitch samplers that say "be seen but not heard"... What am I doing... the best I can!

Good Job Mamas, whatever you are doing ,as long as your doing your best!

-M.

Ok, so, I am a fairly even mix of "Traditional" & "Modern." I stayed home with my son for the first year on purpose not knowing what the long term would officially be. I was made for working so, when he was 6mo I found a place to work where he could come with me :) so off to work we went until he was 1 and no longer able to work there with me. Then, I was able to get a job where day care was part of the benefits, at least it was supplemented based on your income and it was very close to the office campus and they were actually building one to be on campus (yes, that large of an area it was referred to as a campus). So, when he was 13mo we went to work, him to day care and me to work. I loved it! I had a schedule that allowed us to still have time before/after work to hang out and spend time I had adult time and I was doing something beneficial for society by working hard and raising my child. Yes, allowing those at his child care center to help guide him in ways they had experience in and I was not quite as good at for me was being a good mom. My son went thru a lot of medical issues at that time, the way I did not dwell on it was by working, did not hurt that my sister was in the same building/same floor just VERY different department. A while later, my son was showing signs that he NEEDED me at home full time with him while we figured out what all was going on with him in regards to his speech delay and behaivor issues going on in day care (different day care, my department was bought out). Turns out my son was having a difficult time hearing, needed tubes (honestly a miracle) and the day care was not doing anything suggested by myself or ECI when we started him with it so, I pulled him. I was able to take FMLA leave for the tubes and a few months of therepy spd & unkown other issues (adhd), in the middle of that I was laid off ... at the end of my FMLA I was planning on leaving my position b/c I was needed at home for a while. It has been 2yrs now, my son will be starting pre school this fall under the special ed classes, we now know that he lives with adhd and spd, he is learning to live with it and not be controlled by it. My intentions are after we see how he is performing in pre school for me to get a job of some sort again. I am modern in the sense that I do enjoy working and feel we as a family unit are better and stronger, as well I work with and thru Adhd and other current issues parents today struggle with. I however am still traditional in my values/morales, my son does not "get away" with anything due to his Adhd, in fact he may have to work harder or differently than others but is still to be held to the same standard. I require a 3.0 GPA in my home, once school starts we will see what extra help he does/does not need to achieve that, however good grades are his JOB! My man is the main bread winner, I do not see that changing, when I do work I ensure the pay covers what ever costs (child care, gas, lunches, etc) and then enough on top of that each month to make it "worth it." I do most of the house work but that does not mean my man does not pitch in around the house and help when things are crazy or gasp! I just did not feel like cleaning all day that day! (mostly sick days). One thing I do have set up in my partnership is just that, a partnership it's all 50/50 one way or another.

I'm one...! :) While I work fulltime and I am definitely about equality between husbands and wives...you can definitely call me traditional!!

Nope. I'm a teacher. Husband and I split the chores and the childcare/taking-dropping off at school/helping with homework/etc. We are much more strict than most other families that we are friends with, and our boys are expected to do chores and help around the house because they are part of a family. We do not pay them for chores. Being respectful and having good manners is always expected, and our children make their own lunches. We have very strong values, and we are passing those on to our children. They are encouraged to ask questions and discuss why those values are important to us as well. I think that covers most of your questions.

I have to say I am close to it. I have a 21 month daughter and she already knows to pick up after herself(sometimes of course it is a fight.) and says "thank you" and I most likely won't likely won't give or this baby to come a allowance. When either of them get money- birthdays or christmas then that's when I'll teach them the value of money.
I stay at home like you and do most of duties also but not lawn care-that is my dh's job. I wish it was more 50/50 with household duties and caring for kid(s) with us but it's not and I just move on and do it- although I do have to say, he is getting better at it. I have told him the further I get with this pregnancy I get and after baby comes that he will need to help out more since we already have one child.
My daughter is half tomboy and I'm fine with that otherwise she's kinda of lady like. Another thing is I don't think the husband/so should be catered to all the time. I understand he makes the money but still that's a bit much. He's not a god. I love and respect mine a lot but i will not be "barefoot and pregnant" for him.

I would say that I am very fortunate to be able to stay at home. I know financially this option does not work for everyone but we are able to and I am so glad for that. I think I fit into the more traditional role, yes. My husband is a fantastic provider for our family and because he is off making the money I feel I should be responsible for most of the chores in the house. Even though he works all week he still does the 'manly' jobs like the lawn care and the garbage and he will even help with the inside chores if I asked. As for my DD, we are trying to teach her to pick up after herself and she will help to pick up her toys every evening before bed and she has excellent manners for an 18 month old. Always says please and thank you (and bless you and excuse me, etc) I love the dynamics of my family and I dont plan on that changing anytime soon

So I guess I also am a combo of traditional and non traditional. I stay home by choice and love it most of the time but I was a single mother when my kids were very young so I didnt have that option then but dont think my parenting style was different. I teach my boys to be gentlemen and always respect women but also to not be taken advantage of. I teach my daughter that her most important role will be to be a good mother if she chooses but that she has options and that no matter what she needs to be able to support herself. We do not parent by whats popular....our kids know that and rarely challenge it. We are pretty strict but not in an iron fist way. I do most of the housework but my hubby happily helps out when asked.I dont pay the kids for chores but do reward the above and beyond. I do make hubbys breakfast and lunch most of the time and serve him dinner all the time but not because he expects me to. He makes the money but we both decide how its spent we both have complete acess to it.He does all the traditional guy things takes out the trash, maintains the yard and the cars. He is super involved in the kids activities like sports and things too so I get tons of help there. So basically we just do what works for us. I think it really helps that we are usually on the same page about who plays what roles in our house but we are all pretty flexible at the same time.