Anyone Have Kids Between 17 and 21 Months Apart?

Hi there,

My boys are about 21/22 months apart. They are 26 months and 4 months right now. While there are definatly some challenges, I love having them close. I really think that as they get older it will be great for them. I consider myself very lucky up to this point because my 2 year old has been GREAT with the baby. No issues of jealousy at all so that has been helpful. I think the thing that helps me manage the most is having a good schedule. I try to keep them both on schedules and we manage pretty good. I work out of the home so they are in daycare two days a week and my husband is able to stay home with them the other three days. They love daycare and it is great for them socially. We do have family close that helps out sometimes.

Overall I think it is great to have them close, lots of diapers!! But otherwise we love it.

good luck!

Just had number 2, at 37.5, and they are 21 months apart. The second baby is a breeze! It's the toddler who is difficult, but the toddler would be difficult whether or not she has a baby brother! I will say, though, that I am very happy I potty trained my daughter. I couldn't imagine having two in diapers (I cloth). I highly recommend early start potty training!

Yes, we have a play group we belong to, and we do about 2-3 activities a week with them, on top of a music class, swim class and story time at the library. We are super busy, but as you will learn when you have a toddler, it's best to not be at home as much as possible ;-) The baby has been sleeping like a champ through it all, in a sling.

I'm a SAH. As to finding time for myself, hubby takes the oldest to swim, so I get a little bit of time on Saturday mornings, if the baby is sleeping. My mom also takes the toddler for a day every two weeks or so. Baby number two is a much better sleeper, partly because I moved him out of our room at 7 weeks, so I don't get disturbed by the little noises and "jump" to rescue him when he isn't really interested. Baby number two isn't getting as much attention, but he is all smiles and seems very happy.

my kids are 18 months apart... I dont recommend this spacing... try for closer to 2 years..

the first year was extremely difficult. there were many days when my husband looked at me at the end of the day.. and said we survived another day..

i worked when I had one child..I quit my job whenthe second was born.

I have no local family to help. I pay all my babysitters.

When the kids were very young I paid a sitter to come once week so I could do errands. I found it impossible to do errands with a newborn and a toddler.. Grocery shopping with 2 young kids is a nightmare.

It is fun to take one child on an errand but if you take 2 somehow it is horrible.

my kids are 2 1/2 and 4 now .. and they are great friends.. and play well togehter but the firs tyear was really really hard.

Hey there! My daughters are 21 months apart... I don't know how I did it, but I did! I was a single mom at the time, and I'm not very close to my family... I had no help, but I managed to work a full time job, take night classes, and raise my daughters into the outstanding little citizens they currently are. I'm not saying it was easy, but I honestly can't look back and remember any of the negative stuff. I say go for it! Make those babies! Because no matter how close or far in age they are, motherhood and parenting will still have it's ups and downs... but it's those 'ups' that melt your heart and stick with your soul :)

My kids are 22/23 months apart.
I was quite anxious (working from home+ studying at night) but it has been much easier than expected.
My family leaves far away but they came for the birth (my parents came for one month and then my MIL for the second month, until I graduated) and it was a good help.
I think in many ways the second baby is easier, because you know so much (how to bath, fold the stroller, nurse in public...). My son is also a very mellow toddler and very nice to his baby sister, so it makes it a lot easier.
Nursing sessions (for her) are also special cuddling and reading sessions (for him) and I love this time when we are just all cuddling.
The hardest part for me is that I always feel that I give less to her (time, attention...) as I gave him. But she is a very happy baby in love with her big brother.
You can find lots of support and resources on line. Just google "two under two" for blogs, forums, expert advice and the like.

I laugh while reading your question and your responses, mainly because I have 5 and one on the way (I will be 40 in 2 weeks) the ages of my kids are 8,6,5,2, and 1. Some days are wonderful some days I would like to crawl under a rock. I have alot of help-both our families live 15 min. away. The kids are great together most days-some days not so much. I didn't start having kids till after I was 30 I worked full time but stopped after baby #2. I do my best but there is always room for improvement my kids go to preschool-starting at age 2. And sometime our parents take the kids for the weekend (when they feel brave). I nursed all mine some pass 1 year.

My first two children are 20 mos apart. We were military, so I was never near family to help, but always had good neighbors. I was a stay at home mom during the time, and I just remember being a very busy Mom! One thing I would do when the baby slept was to lay in the room my toddler was playing in and take short little naps. Thankfully he was a very good toddler and let mommy do so. I also invovled him helping as much as I could so he felt like he was part of the baby's life. He could get diapers and stuff, and rock the baby in her seat.

Now that they are older, I am so glad I had them so close! Since we moved often, military, they always had each other to rely on, to go the new school together, or run around base together. They both went off to the same college and next year will rent an apt together. My oldest is a boy, and then my daughter. I felt so much better about her going off to college knowing her big brother was there if she needed someone.

So, it is hard at first, but I think it pays off well in the end.

Hi my 2 sons are 21/22 mths apart (25mths & 4mths) and its just starting to get easier for me. My first was a breeze to nurse, the second not so much so I found myself frustrated and so sleep deprived. And to top it off the toddler would always seem to start doing something he knew he wasn't supposed to do, once I finally got my lil' guy to latch on. Something I wasn't counting on was trying to discipline from the couch :) (needless to say it wasn't very effective). So it wasn't until the youngest was about 3mths old that we were able to go out and about, that's about the time he was able to nurse discretely and the toddler realized Mommy can now move while nursing.

I was constantly reminded by family and friends that the second would be so much easier...Not for me and my boys. Both boys are so alike in some areas, mainly sleep and neediness. Something I've found hard to balance, and when frustrated I find myself taking it out on the toddler:) But way different in other ways...like my ability to know what is making my youngest cry. With my first I knew exactly what was wrong ,not with the youngest. He was super hard for me to read, and it wasn't until recently I got the hang of it.

Some things I recommend is to try to keep your oldest napping as long as possible. You'll need it. You'll find yourself doing things you never would do with the first ( ie watching TV for hrs, letting the baby sleep in bed with you etc), just be assured its not the end of the world and whatever makes things easier for you, do it!! Slings, slings did I say slings...I personally use the moby. it was my lifesaver!! Also if you have family around utilize it as much as possible. I found myself just needing some down time with the baby and me. Unfortunately we don't have family nearby so I had to wait until the hubby came home from work!! Long days, but at least I got a hr or two.

The plus side my toddler LOVES his baby brother. I have battles trying to keep him from kissing and hugging him so much. This just makes my heart melt. We have never had any jealousy issues at all. I can't wait to see them grow up together so close in age.... everyone tells me they'll be best friends!!! I pray that will be our situation...

Anyway sorry so long winded,,good luck children are definitely blessings from above..FYI the month I stopped nursing was the month we conceived my second... so different from my first it took us almost 2yrs to conceive him!!!

best wishes

I thought I'd respond to your email even though my kids are 24 months apart (almost to the day).

I think that the space of 2 years is a good one. I guess we are lucky because we didn't have to deal with any jealousy issues with our daughter and son. If she were a little older and potty trained, it would have been easier.

My husband works Mon-Fri nights so I have the kids alone. It is NOT easy!! I am lucky enough that I have our families close by. I do not ask for help from his parent during the week but do rely on my parents. His mom does a lot for us babysitting wise on the weekends when we want to go out.

I understand your reasoning for wanting your children by a certain time which may mean doing it sooner rather than later. I think 19 months would be a fine age...you will still have to deal with diaper changes and all that but it sounds like you want to do it so go for it!

Ours are 16 mos apart (3 and almost 2 now), and I love it. The first couple years are crazy! I was 38 when the second was born - so you aren't alone. The first part felt similar to two babies! However as they've grown and can interact, we are looking forward to them being able to do similar activities and vacations will be 'easier'. I do have to say that while I was nursing #2, it was tough - gone were the days of relaxing nursing as the other was always needing me it seemed! We did find ways around it - special toys for that time etc. My daughter (older one) did attend a play group/school for a bit. Also, I ended up switching to formula for some digestive issues with my son - and that made feeding easier. Time to yourself.... still looking for that. Thankfully my husband is incredible with the kids, and we have found ways to give each other breaks - scheduled, even if it's a trip to Target (alone!!!) - it makes all the difference. Good luck and enjoy!

my kids are 5, 4, & 2.....15 months apart then 20 months apart, so 3 kids in 3 yrs.........i had my last at almost 35.......its crazy busy.....i really didnt leave the house hardly ever....grocery shopping only at night....but they are all the best of friends, they are close enough in age to be interested in similar things.....for me going from 1-2 was not bad but going from 2 kids to 3 was insane, but we dont have any family to help...i am just starting to have a sitter come in once in a while ....i am not sleep deprived anymore but i still havent found me time, but next school year will be easier as my oldest will be in school all day & the other 2 will go to preschool together for 3 hours!!!!! i cant wait.........go for it

My middle two are 15 months apart. I was told if you nursed exclusively it was pretty same birthcontrol--they were wrong. I love them being close now-they have alot of the same friends, and the oldest who is a boy can look out for his sister.
But when Shelby came along it turned my Happy baby into a very unhappy one. He would walk around and cry because I was nursing the new baby and could not cuddle him. If I was to plan it I would not of had them so close together-it makes the older of the two give up the precious baby time that is only there a short period.

My boys are 13 months apart and I was a single mom then, but I had lots of help from my mom, and don't know how I would have survived without her! It is a lot of work in the beginning, but people are able to handle twins and this was not much different. My boys have grown up very close and I really like having them so close in age as well. I would not change a thing, and the best part was once I was done with diapers I was done with diapers, once I was done with bottles I was done with bottles and did not have to go through everything multiple times, which personally I loved getting past all those milestones one by one. I would have to say I love it this way, but yes, do prepare yourself for lots of work but it is good and rewarding work!

My first 2 are 14 months apart and the second 2 are 18 months apart. I'm a stay at home mom- don't live too close to family(3 hours away) and baby # 2 was a surprise. I was able to have my mother in law down to help me out the first couple of days after the baby was born. We didn't do play groups but we had a side by side double stroller that we used all the time(it was an umbrella stroller, so it was easier to cart everywhere) we also had a baby backpack- the frame kind for when the baby is old enough to hold herself up. That helped alot! I would put the baby in the back pack and take my toddler out to play at the park or be able to fix dinner while he played. He didnt' pay much attention to his baby sister until she was old enough to be interesting(crawling around). He still took naps, so I made sure that when he was asleep so was the baby and so was I!
They are best friends now at ages 8&9 and the other two are the same at ages 4&5. they all entertain each other and there really isn't much fighting. So I would say- go for it! and Good Luck!
~ C.

My daughters are 15 months apart and we are loving it. I was still nursing exclusively when we conceived our second. She was unplanned, but definitely not unwanted. I do have to say that it has been difficult and we have given in to things we otherwise would have held firm, but we are making it (our sanity and all!). I have enlisted the help of my toddler in EVERYTHING and she has enjoyed the transition. She “helped” with the baby and housework and we were able to blend our daily routines to accommodate everyone. I encouraged meals/snacks at the same time, naps at the same time, evening routine and bedtimes at the same time, etc. This often results in myself going to bed at 8:30pm some nights, but I need that sometimes too! We have LOTS of family close by, so we do get time to ourselves on occasion. I definitely look forward to time without kids more now than I did with our first. I was working full-time at a very demanding job throughout both my pregnancies, so I transferred within my company for a desk job once our youngest was born. I still work FT and my husband is self-employed working construction when work is available. He also works evening’s delivery pizza to supplement his lack of work in the winters. It is tight for us financially, but we found an in-home daycare provider that is significantly less expensive than the center our oldest was in, and we are VERY happy with the change. My girls are one and two now, and they play together very nice. They have a lot of the same interest and toys are shared by all! And I look forward to growing out of sippy cups and diapers all at the same time… they’ll be sharing clothes before I know it! It definitely works for us and we are grateful for our family the way it is.

Our boys are 18 months apart. The first six months or so were the most difficult with lack of sleep and all of that. After #2 started to sleep all night it got waaaay easier. They were both in day care until they were 2 and 1. I now stay at home. There was a big rut of boredom (for me) for about a year after I started to stay home. Having to keep their routine consistent and changing two diapers at a time really got to me. They are now (almost) 5 and 3. Once they were both potty trained my life became super easier.
The best thing about them being so close together is that they are the best of friends. I think that being at home versus at daycare certainly helps this. I'm glad that I had the opportunity to be with them. Now, I am looking forward to starting school next year (for me) and getting some time to myself.
Whatever you decide will be fine. Remember, it might take longer than you think to get pregnant again or it might happen when you least expect it.
Good luck!

Edit:
I wanted to say after reading the other responses.....Running errands with two kids IS kind of a nightmare. I tend to do the grocery shopping at night and only go to the dentist once a year. We don't have family close and have to pay for childcare any time we need/want to do something. As a result, we don't get out much together. I keep telling myself that if they were further apart, it would take that much longer for them to get out of the house or even be able to leave them home alone. Honestly, though, it is what it is.

My first 2 are 16 months apart. I do have family around, which was helpful those first few weeks with a newborn. My second child pretty much lived in a sling so I had free hands to assist the toddler. I had him in a Moms Day Out one day a week, but didn't start that until he was nearly 2. When the baby was about 18 months old, I had them each in a Moms Day Out one day a week so I could spend one-on-one time with each of them. As far as managing, you will find little tricks that work for you-- like my older one had to put one hand on the car as I got the baby out. I loved having them close in age. Everyone told me it would get better affter the first year-- I thought they were crazy because I figured once the baby was walking that they'd head in opposite directions-- but they didn't. The first born was very protective of the baby and the baby always stuck close to her big brother. The first year is really hard because the baby can't do anything for herself, but once she can stand and you can actually set her down instead of always having her in a sling, your arms, a carrier, etc, life does get easier.

Oh, and as for finding time for myself... I don't... but that's just my preference. I used to have a monthly night out with lady friends when they were little, but don't do that much anymore because all of my kids are in school now at least part time, so I have plenty of time at home without them now

My daughter was 21 months old when our second daughter was born. At first I thought we were in for a heap of trouble but honestly it hasn't been bad at all. They are now almost 4 (in march) and 2 as of this past December. They are the best of friends and their own worse enemies. We definitely deal with fighting and arguing but my 4 year old would NEVER let anything happen to her younger sister. There is truly a special bond forming between them. When my second daughter arrived thing's honestly didn't change that much.

And as for having "time to yourself" well forget it. We don't get stuff like that as mom's of such little ones. But there are times when hubby takes over or my parents take them so I do get breaks here and there.

Bottom line, it was not at all bad for our family to have them so close together. I think you will find it just fine too.

Good Luck!