I am trying to help my 18 yr old son who has Aspergers. Any help would be appreciated. I guess I didn't put enough in the first time. So here is more. Thanks lots. I appreciate the answers you sent before.
Hi, Thanks for all your suggestions. I will check into getting hooked up with a support group. I found out he had Aspergers when he was 13. I started doing research a while before that, maybe a couple of years. I had trouble finding anyone here in Kalamazoo that was familiar with Aspergers so I had problems finding a counselor.
After trying to work with the teachers, counselors, and principal and not getting much cooperation (they would set up meetings, I would take off work and they wouldn't show up), I became frustrated and gave it a rest for a while. The middle school he was attending at the time was mad because he would do only 17% of the school work when it was obvious that he could do straight A work. When the principal told me that they were going to put him through the juvenile system because of not doing homework (I was told that that school had a high academic record and they didn't like it that he wouldn't do the work), I went back to homeschooling him.
We have for the most part just lived life as best as possible. He received his GED last fall so he could attend college. He has been able to do the work since he was 13 or younger. The problem now is that he signs up for classes all excited, and then can't handle being in the class room because of the talking and noise. His sensory system is in high gear. Don't bother returning a pencil once you have touched it(I can touch things sparingly). His OCD is getting worse all the time. He knows that if this keeps up he will have to take some type of drugs, but he has already done a lot of research into those drugs and is afraid of the side effects.
He wants to do biotech research (he feels he would need a Ph'd) and can do the work. But he can't stand the feel of paper he would have to use. We are talking a major paper issue. His biggest issues are the things he has to touch. It is a texture thing.
He is really frustrated and feels like a failure. I keep telling him he is not a failure, we just haven't figured out how to make things work for him yet. Frankly, I am 55 and have health issues myself. I am tired all the time. I wouldn't want him to be any other way (well at least for the most part), but it is exhausting to deal with this every day. I have been told that it is my fault that he is like this and his father who lives up north told me years ago that I had ruined my son. I gave up trying to talk to him about it years ago because he only hears what he wants. So, I am on my own.
I guess right now, I need help with adult OCD problems and anxiety issues. If someone knows of anything that they have heard or experienced pertaining to that I would greatly appreciate it. My son just finished his second semester of college classes. Some go ok and some not very well. I help him as much as I can but try to get him to be independent.
Thanks lots everyone.
Hi, Thanks for all your suggestions. I will check into getting hooked up with a support group. I redid my request so please check it out and throw some info towards me please!!
Have you tried the CFGF diet, I've read of it helping many others. And maybe rescue remedy (www.rescueremedy.com/) might help you both.
Good luck, and great job doing all you can. A. H
Hi, C.
Don't hesitate to contact me....
My son is nearly 23, with Aspergers, and is now working, after graduating from college, and just bought a house (foreclosed fixer upper) so take heart, they can reach independence.
Michigan Rehabilitation Services will help with college, job training, job search and interview/resume skills, etc. They were huge help.
Look seriously about what you're son's talents are..... and focus on running with them. My son is very challenged with social interactions, but his extreme linear thinking and literalism makes him good with computers. After getting an associates degree in computer networking, he works in computer network support, interacting with the public well.... because he UNDERSTANDS not understanding something. There will be something where your son disability is not a handicap, and there may be an advantage. Look for it and celebrate it.
Also bear in mind that just as colorblind people memorize things like the order of traffic lights to work around their disabilities, so they become less cumbersome with age, Asperger's people, who are often quite bright, memorize situations where they do not intuitively "get" things and function better with age. My son and I found it helpful to watch movies on DVD or tape and television shows together and talk about interpreting the characters feelings based on their body lanquage, tone of voice, gestures...etc. which does not come easily to people with A.S. He actually got quite a lot of help from taking a Drama class. Learning to portray emotions made him much more aware of how other people show theirs.
I will recommend a novel" The Speed of Dark", by Elizabeth Moon. In this science fiction novel, the lead character is a high-functioning autistic adult, living independently and working. It really helped both my son and me to be able to visualize a life after school for him. The author has an autistic child, and is very accurate in her characterizations.
Best of luck, L.
C.,
You might want to look into the FlyLady program to help your son develop daily routines he can use when he moves out on his own.
The control journals are great because you tailor the routines to his needs and daily chores. If something isn't working you can tweak the program until it does work for him.
Good luck!
-C..
email me off line for an online support group here in Michigan. They are lifesavers. There are links to workshops, caregiver to caregiver advice, some professional advice, whatever you need you can normally get help with when you post a request. There may be some bio-medical things you can try to help him with. There's even a lady that posts advocating for her website that gives helpful hints to a successful college education.
I have to go get my boys - S.
Have you found a support group?
I have a 7yr old with Aspergers and ADHD, and an almost 5yr old with Autism.
It's rough.
what kind of problems is he having? Obviously social issues...is he having Anxiety, Depressed, Problems in school/work? What is his Aspergers like? For my 7yr old he is fixated on Lego...all spontaneous conversation is Lego related...he also has high anxiety which we are treating with Depakote (used to treat bi-polar disorder seizures and anxiety)
Hi C.,
I'm not sure exactly what you're looking for but can share what I have with you. My mom has been trying for years to get the proper help for my soon to be 18 yo sister who aspergers. Seems like she may finally have some leads to get some housing assistance and a programs that'll hopefully help her as an adult.
There is a counselor at a facility called the common grounds sanctuary who has told my mom that she knows of some programs that will get her moving into a semi normal adult life. The Phone number at the SAnctuary is ###-###-####. Not sure of the counselors name but I'm sure they can get you to the right person.
Also maybe try this number, It is for Common grounds but not for the sanctuary house. It's listed as a crisis center but that they can give referrals and info ###-###-####.
Good luck and feel free to send me a message privately. not sure if you are looking for somewhere for him to stay short term, but I have some info on those too.
http://www.umaccweb.com/clinical_services/youth.html
This group says up to age but you might call anyway.
Also Eastern Michigan is setting up an Autism COllaboration Center that I know if offering some programs, perhaps try them too by calling the university.
http://www.michiganallianceforfamilies.org/
For help with dealing with schools, try this page.
HI my name is L. I have a 6 year old son with Autism, I belong to the Genesee autism support group, which also has an aspergers support group they have a social group for teens and young adults, this may be a good resource for you, I have attached the web site for you.
L.
