Specifically, what age did you tell them the truth of how babies are made and how much info did you give?
2nd grade. In public school they're going to learn sooner rather than later and I wanted to tell them first. Just gave age appropriate information and built on that as they asked questions in the following few years.
Ours has been a conversation that happens over time. It's never been one sit down and there it's done. It's been using real-life situations - pregnant friends, me being pregnant, etc. we've used movies, TV Shows and other articles in magazines and newspaper to talk about it too.
Our boys are now 16 and 13 and know how how babies are conceived, the price of babies (labor/delivery, diapers, clothing, etc.). They also know how to use a condom. While we would PREFER them to wait - we were teenagers once too and know how hormones go - and have told them this.
We've STRESSED "no means NO" and "stop means STOP" - no matter how hot and heated things get from EITHER side....it's NOT just the girl that says NO.
I agree with the ongoing conversation starting very early. Once they get on the school bus, the info (correct and incorrect) is out there. The point is, don't save it all up for one conversation and load them up with excessive info. Start early, start small. By all means, talk to the children's librarian about a sensible series of books you can use to work up from basic to more involved levels in a reasonable way. Don't have a book per week. Just a small amount of info, let it settle, then more. And DO use the car as a good place to talk as al alternative to only face-to-face.
I absolutely insisted on proper terminology for body parts although I also made sure he knew the slang terms as well.
Like TF, ours was ongoing conversation. They would ask something, I'd answer as simply and honestly as possible, and if they went on to ask another question, I'd answer that .. and sort of gauge where they were. Sometimes they'd ask one question, and were happy with a simple answer then ran off to play.
I also bought a book that had been around since I was a kid, and it's meant for kids. They knew that when they asked me about stuff in more detail, that book became available.
They have the full on discussion at school in grade 5 here, but the kids knew well before that.
One of mine had never shown any interest, so I asked him if he had any questions he'd like me to answer. He said "Oh you mean about DNA transfer? Thanks, I got it". That was like in grade 3.
Well we never really had "the talk" it was more of an ongoing conversation. When they were very young and I was clearly pregnant I would just tell them that babies grow from a teeny tiny egg deep inside a mama, which is technically true. I'm sure they heard about sex the same way I did, from older kids on the playground (I learned about it as a five year old, pre internet and pre graphic cable TV days so of course I'm sure they heard it too.) We talked more about it when they were in 5th grade and were having the puberty/sex lesson at school. At that point they already "knew" of course, but I just made sure they had the basic facts straight and let them know they could always come to me with any questions. It was awkward for all of us lol!
I have been telling my kids the truth, in age appropriate ways, from the beginning, starting with using the correct terms for their genitals from the start. When they asked how babies were made I told them the truth, and as they neared puberty I got them the book "its perfectly normal" and had my oldest (11 at the time) read out loud while my younger son listened in. We stopped whenever they had a question or wanted further clarification. Since this has been an ongoing discussion in our home the kids have no embarrassment talking to me about such things, for example when my son had real questions recently about HPV, how it is spread, and how to prevent it, he came to me. That has always been my goal, to make sure my kids are comfortable talking to me about sex, asking me their questions, and that they know they are getting honest and medically correct information always.
I had two sons when their sister was born (they were 3 and 2ish at the time). The older son asked, while I was changing a diaper, 'why is her fanny in the front?'. From then on discussions were open and ongoing.
They continue to be even today, and eldest son just turned 27.
Best luck
At age 7 we read the book "It's not the stork".
It was a process that gave them as much as they needed at the time they asked.
When she was 3 and asked where her baby brother came from I told her there was a special place in a mom's body that a baby could grow and then come out to live with us. She was fine with that.
When she was a little older she asked harder questions. Leading up to being approached for sex at about 9. She told on them and then had a lot of questions.
When she was 10 she asked me if girls her age could get pregnant. We googled it, don't. It's so sad it will break your heart. So many younger than 10 ended up pregnant by parents, grandparents, siblings, other relatives, pastors, teachers, bus drivers, etc....anyone can take advantage.
I think we've had a very open relationship and I've told her she can ask me anything and if "I" don't know the answer we will google and keep searching until we find the information we need.
Since they were old enough to ask - probably 3 or 4. Agreed, it's an ongoing conversation, since they didn't remember or maybe didn't believe it at first. Anytime they have questions, it's very matter of fact, and they know they can ask me anything and get straight-up answers.
Age 6. He asked and I told him body part accurate age appropriate information. Beyond that there was a continous open conversations. He's 21 now and we still have talks.
My son first heard about it in 4th grade. He came home asking where do babies come from, never having an interest before. I asked him why he was asking and his response was, "People at school were saying things about it." After this I had him go to his daily swim practice and had a long conversation on how to deal with this with my husband. He decided that we should sit him down that night, and tell him that when a man and woman love each other they decide they want a bigger family. I told him it was specific in the human body. And gave him a general explanation. After our talk he quickly lost interest, and forgot most of what we said to him. I would suggest to be general with them and see how they're interested in the topic before going to much into detail.
my 8, almost 9, year old had very specific questions because someone in her class was spreading bad information, and so I started general but she kept probing so I went farther and ended up graphically explaining in detail -- she was completely grossed out but amazed that is how it works
she ended up telling her younger sister, who was 3 yrs younger, just enough to make her ask the same types of questions, so I gave her a more general explanation
I talked to them about not just telling anyone, that it was up to the parents to tell kids this thing but if they heard wrong information they could say that person was wrong and needed to ask a grown up how it really works. They are 13.5 yrs old and almost 17 now, both not sexually active at all, both have kissed boys but nothing else, and the younger one is still disgusted by the whole thing while the older one thinks it's stupid to go all the way this young.
