Attending a Wedding

Updated on May 16, 2010
A.S. asks from Plainfield, IL
9 answers

Hi Ladies - My husband & I will be attending a wedding reception in June. All of our friends, cousins, etc. are married so we haven't attended a wedding in a few years. What does a woman in her 40s wear to a wedding these days? I know it will be summer but do I have to have bare legs with a dress? What kind of hose are age appropriate? What about the gift? How much do you spend/give? Neither of us have met the bride-to-be and the groom-to-be is a former co-worker of my husband's who transferred to another location. I'm thinking we won't spend as much as we would for family but they are also paying for a meal, etc. for us so I want to make sure we give enough. Thanks for your help!

Thank you for the answers so far. They have been helpful but I guess I should have been more specific since many of you are asking. The reception starts at 6:00PM and is an indoor reception that is not black tie. Also, I do know a few places that they are registered - I was actually wondering how much money people typically spend on a gift. Thanks again!

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S.C.

answers from Fort Wayne on

I don't think hose are "in" anymore. I know very few people that wear them. You can wear a skirt or a dress or pants. Weddings aren't nearly as formal as they used to be.
If you are wearing open toed shoes or sandals do not wear hose or tights. And 40 is just a state of mind ;) Normally when I go to a wedding I wear a nice dress (usually sleeveless if it's summer) and sandals. That seems to be pretty standard. I have seen tons of women wear dress pants and a nice shirt also.
I would probably spend between $40 and $50 on a wedding gift. I usually spend $100 for family.
Have fun! :D

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M.S.

answers from Chicago on

Hi A.,
You have had great advise on what to wear, but as far as a gift goes....I always think of our budget first and what we could afford. If the reception is somewhat traditional with drinks included at a sit down dinner with a DJ / band...... figure what you would spend on a nice dinner out with entertainment. So we like to figure the cost of each (plate) and add a little extra as the gift. Have fun!

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G.B.

answers from Tulsa on

A lot depends on time of day, location, amount of people attending, etc...I usually wear church dress to anything where I want to look nice. I love dressing up and wearing heels and hose. I know, I'm goofy. But I wore hose and heels to classes in college. A lot of times at the beginning of the semester I was mistaken for the professor when I walked in. I think unless it's very casual, like at the beach or a picnic that a nice dress and semi high heeled shoes would be appropriate, maybe not spiked but more solid looking. If you are going bare legged then work on a tan, nothing is more noticable than pasty pale skin.

As for a gift, they tell you what they want on the gift registry. It amazed me when we got really odd gifts at our wedding that weren't even close to what we registered for. We ended up with many, many, unusable gifts. My husband was 37 and I was 33, had been married before, and was a sinlge parent. We both had homes we had to blend. We really wanted the things we listed because they were things we had picked out together. We did get some money and we used it for spending money on our honeymoon. Original things are often well thought out and special too so don't discount it just because mine didn't work out that way.

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S.B.

answers from Redding on

I love weddings.
I always get sentimental.
As far as a gift, one of the most well received ideas I ever had was a beautiful silver toned photo album that I found on sale for $15. I know that sounds cheap, but the original cost was a LOT more and it was gorgeous. The couple used it to put their honeymoon photos in. It was really nice and I'd have been happy if someone had given it to me. It had a velvet lining. It was nice.
Anyway....as to what to wear....
It's a summer wedding reception so wear something light and summery. Something you feel comfortable in. Is it black tie at a country club? A modest church affair? Outside? That makes a difference.
As far as panty hose....it's up to you. I know some people might say to go with bare legs, but I have scars on one of my legs and don't feel comfortable baring them. Not at an event like that. I'm not ashamed of them. Everyone who knows me knows they're there, but at a wedding, I wear something to cover my legs. If it's a dark reception they may not notice. They make so many different shades and types of panty hose these days that you can wear some without it even being obvious. And, they make darling closed toed shoes so you can be summery without your toes being exposed.

I say have fun! You have plenty of time to look around.
Be sure to get a photo of you and your husband!

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S.B.

answers from Kansas City on

I usually do skirts and a shirt, although occassionally I do slacks and a dress. The thing to remember is that as long as you look nice, that's all that matters. No one is going to remember what you wore, only the bride, unless you show up in something outrageous. :-)

C.C.

answers from Fresno on

I think it depends on the location of the wedding and the time of day. If it is black tie, then you would wear a cocktail dress in any color other than black (although anymore, black is increasingly okay to wear at evening weddings). If it's a morning or afternoon wedding and the reception is outdoors, then a sun dress is fine. Bare legs are fine either way. If you feel like you need hose for the "control top" factor, then just wear Spanx and skip the hose. In June, it's likely to be warm - I hate wearing hose in the summer. Also, if any part of this event will be outdoors, don't wear heels - they will just sink into the grass!

M.P.

answers from Provo on

Agree whole heartedly with Catherine. NO HOSE! Bleg! I personally can't stand it. Probably because I've never found a pair that was comfortable. Same with the dress. If it's a sunny afternoon wedding go for a cute sun dress. Evening wedding more cocktail type dress. But depending on the sun dress you could get away with it. I personally like skirts and a shirt better.

V.C.

answers from Dallas on

Sorry, not sure about the dress. But if it is outside I would think you would want to skip the hose.
Check their wedding registry. Hopefully, they have selected gifts with a range of prices so you pick something.
Victoria

A.G.

answers from Pocatello on

Gift cards are great! Like to target or Bed Bath & Beyond. I loved all the gift cards I got when I got married. You can then go and get whatever you still need after all the other gifts. Or if you want to get an actual gift you could do something that people always need or use like bath towels or for one couple we got them a throw blanket to keep in their family room and a dvd for them to help start their home movie collection. In the card we put something like "thought these would come in handy when you two newly weds want to cuddle and unwind." It was cute and they really liked it. As for your clothes I would do a dress with no hose because it's summer. There will be lots of woman with bare legs. If you really want to wear hose then I would just go with a tan color. Again it's summer so don't do black.

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