Baby Hardly Ever Sleeps

I know it seems like these stages go on forever, but they do not! Just try and remember that it is about a year of all this sleep stuff and then you'll be sleeping again...until they are teenagers!!! :)

Welcome to motherhood! All normal -- hang in there. Most mothers will probably tell you the same thing ---wait another 20 years, then you'll get a full night's rest. If we're not woken by a child, we stay awake worrying about our child. Ahh... the joys of being a mommy. Treasure these first weeks cause it passes by WAY too quickly. You'll be missing it before you blink. Congratulations!

Babies cannnot be counted on to stay the same for long. You didn't say if he is crying more, or I would think he has colic. They say not to put in swings too young, but the newer ones are okay. Many babies will sleep in swings during this time in their development. Considering that you and your husband need sleep, there is nothing wrong with sleeping the baby in the swing to get past this time, even through the night.

Hi L., I’ve been there & know what you are going through. Our little guy was never a good sleeper. We read Dr. Weissbluth’s book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child and followed it to the letter. The problem is that our son did not follow it. According to the book a newborn could not tolerate more that 1.5-2 hrs of awake time. So after waking we waited 1.5 hrs and began soothing out son to sleep. No matter what we did he fought us on sleep. We literally spent hours trying to sooth him to sleep and when he finally did go to sleep (in his crib as recommended) he would wake after 30 minutes and not go back to sleep. Then we were desperate for sleep and tried anything to get him to sleep. Nothing worked (walking, rocking, swings, holding him), in fact they made the problem worse.

Our tale of no sleep is much more complex… way too complex to go into here. The moral of the story is that we are finally getting some sleep. We incorporated what we learned from Dr. Weissbluth’s book with a book called The Baby Whisper Solves All Your Problems. Awesome book I highly recommend it. The EASY method along with teaching us about all the common mistakes that we made that were making the problem works saved our lives. The book is a very easy read, even when you are exhausted, and there is a great website to supplement the info and gain support (www.babywhisper.com).

If you have any specific questions feel free to e-mail me directly. Good luck getting some sleep.

What are you eating? Take extra calcium yourself.
Calcium relaxes ( that old wives tale of warm milk if you can't sleep) I don't suggest the milk however... many kids have sensitivities to cows milk and that will come through your milk as well.

it's so hard, isn't it? sadly there's not anything you can really do but be patient and wait--he'll figure it out. most babies don't start taking 2 long naps till around 6 months--lots of catnaps is totally normal for 6 weeks old, though i know that hearing that doesn't really help your sleep deprivation situation at all!

we ended up sleeping our daughter in her swing, and i mean all the time, becuase it was the only place she'd sleep for longer than 20 minutes (she'd go nice 6 hour stretches at night). i'm sure that lots of moms out there will be opinionated about our choice to do this and tell you not to, but even our ped. supported it. she said that whatever we needed to do to sleep was just fine and she assured us that our baby woundn't be sleeping in her swing the night before she began kindergarten :) we moved her out of the swing at 12 weeks (out of our room, too) and she did great!

bottom line is this: you do what you need to do to get rest. you are in a survival mode right now and you need to respect that. i also got a babysitter for a few hours every week so i could get out, nap, whatever and she was a lifesaver!!!

good luck!

This is so normal, especially breastfed babies. He could be having a growth spurt or just adjusting. One thing I have learned is not to count on anything! The minute you think something is set, they switch it up on you. I always tell people to try The Baby Sleep Book by Dr. Sears for some ideas and just to understand a little bit better. Don't, don't let him "cry it out" he is just too little and it doesn't do anyone any good. My first one didn't sleep well until 8 or 9 months and my second one is 6 months old and doesn't sleep through the night. You learn to adapt, it's tough but remember it's not forever and soon enough you'll look back and won't even remember when it was that he actually started sleeping well, and then you'll be on to the next challenge!
Good luck!

you've gotten so many good responses, i doubt i am providing any new insight. but i hope to provide support and assurance. i had three and they were all different. the one common observation i came away from the experience is that at around 4 weeks they seem to wake up from this deep slumber and start recognizing this whole new world around them. it sounds like b.s. but i started recognizing this with #2 and #3. my third, who i remember the most, slept some 20-22 hrs the first 3mths. sounds great, but just try nursing a sleepy baby, that in itself became a problem. after that, the next few months she gave up naps althogether and only slept at night. her sleeping patterns change also with every development. once we got her back to naps she started learning how to crawl and then she began refusing naps again. the first year, the baby may go through so many changes, that you just need to hold tight sometimes and wait it out. (also, i found the carseat to enhance the sleeping experience during those early months. i know the controversy about this, but i did it anyway and their fine.) good luck!

Hi L.,

I know it is hard but when you know there is nothing wrong with your child you have to let them learn how to get back to sleep. I used to go in my daughter's room pat her on the rear whisper that all was ok....and then leave....at first 5 minutes later she was still crying...so I repeated the love pat and left....after 3 nights she was getting herself back to sleep and sleeping 5-6 hours straight. Good luck and good rest??

try using the Baby Whisperer's EASY method for a schedule, and the Happiest Baby on the Block 5 s's method.

EASY - when the baby wakes up it Eats. After you feed it, then it has Activity - bouncy seat, tummy time, sitting up and playing with toys, swing, exersaucer, etc. When the baby gets fussy check the B's - boredom, butt or burp. If it's none of those then off to Sleep. Don't wait for the baby to do more than get the tiniest bit fussy, then see what is causing the fusses - if it's just that they needed their diaper change do that, but if it's not the activity is boring, the butt is dirty or they have to burp, then put them down. This may happen after as short as 45 minutes, don't freak, it really means they are tired.

Now, to get them to sleep use the 5 s's. Swaddle the baby, hold the baby on their side and sway as they suck on something (paci, your knuckle or their finger/thumb) and make a shush noise. This will calm your baby. When the baby is calm, but not asleep yet, keeping them swaddled lay them in the bed. I like to pat them instead of sway after a minute or two cause you can still pat after they are put down but you can't sway, so pat the baby and continue patting gradually decreasing it as you put them in the bed. Also continue the shushing as you put them down, again gradually getting quieter.

At that age they may start having more solid naps if you do the above. More solid naps make for better night time sleep. Sleep begets sleep.

When they do wake from sleeping either from nap (if it's been less then 2 hours) or from during the night, wait 10 minutes before going in to them. Almost always they will go back to sleep in under 5 minutes. This is also teaching them to calm themselves and go back to sleep.

If you don't have a fan or white noise playing in their room you may want to do that to block out other noises they hear.

If you do these you will find a well rested, easily managed baby in no time.

N.

not sure what you do.... but it helped us make sure you have a routine each time its bed time. feed in the same place. we used the same music. make sure its dark in the room. do NOT turn the lights on when/if he wakes up. we use a nightlight and if we have to we turn the closet light on w/door closed.... i think it confuses them. and not to talk to them during the night too (so its different than day). good luck. i'm sure its just an adjustment

Your baby is right on schedule. Give it a few more weeks. Your baby must be at least eleven pounds before he can sleep longer than three hours.

I feel your pain - and it will soon be a memory. We put our youngest in a swing to sleep out of exhaustion too. Sleep deprivation was making me crazy! It did not seem to work at first, but then it did, and she slept in there until about 4 months when I knew she was too strong to be safe in it if I wasnt watching. I then I started to put her in her own crib (even if it was for 10 minutes) to get her used to that. She was extremely colicy and had reflux early on, we think.... Dont you wish they came with a book? I also would say that this is just one of the schedule changes he'll go through. Just when you think you got it figured out,it changes again. Dont be afraid to talk to your Ped. Wishing you good luck and more sleep.

6 weeks is a growth spurt and babies need to nurse more to build you milk supply to meet their growing needs. Fortunately it doesn't last long. The more the baby nurses, the more milk you will have. Relax, drink plenty of fluids (not caffeinated), put your feet up and put baby to the breast. In a day or 2 you will have enough milk to fill him up. And hopefully get at least one 5 hour stretch of sleep.

Also, my 5 year old still wakes up to go to the bathroom, get a drink and climb in bed with us!

He's totally normal. He's still trying to adjust to the outside world. Give him some time to figure things out and his sleep stretches will get longer. I thought it would never happen and it always does.

i have been ther and understand what you are going though my little one is now 4 months old. we have went thought the no sleep thing a few times. the best thing to do is try and make everyday the same. try and wake him up at the same time every mornig and get a secedual going. it is really hard to do but if you can do it it really will help. my little girl went though the not sleeping thing a few times. it really starts to get to you when you dont have sleep. also sometimes they go though the not want to sleep stage when they are growing. it will get better. try your best to take truns so that you get a little more sleep. also try to get a little nap in i no it sounds crazy and you prob. dont think you would be able to take a nap but even a 10min cat nap helps a lot. if the no sleep goes on longer than a few weeks ask your doc for ideas that will help.

To add to what has been written...all good advice...my recommendation is to stop looking at the clock and counting the hours that you and your husband have slept. AND...I don't believe that you only sleep 4 hours. Turn the clock to face the wall. You'll still hear the alarm. If you are woken up, so be it! Your baby needs you! Just go back to bed and go to sleep...you'll get the hang of it. Also, you could try bringing the baby to bed with you. No, you won't crush him...then when you breast feed at night (and he may be very hungry when waking up), you can nurse him lying down and sleep when he's latched on...

Have fun! As you age into parenting, you'll realize that your sleep time gets shorter and shorter. Also you will learn to wake up at a pin drop.

Here's another thought, are you drinking too much caffiene?

can you possibly keep your baby in bed with you safely? until I did that, I never slept. However, she was colicky and often we were walking walking walking up and down our hallway with her!
Take turns. If she's not eating, then it's your husband's turn. Try to keep the lights and speech low and start to guide the baby to sleep/wake cycles by these cues. Eventually, it will come. We thought we'd never sleep again! but we are!!

If you've been nervous about the baby or something else going on in life, your milk could slow down it's production and baby could not be getting enough to satisfy him. That would account for him not eating as much and still fussing. You may have to switch to bottle with a little cereal mixed in it. Good luck honey.

Please check out he book Healthy Sleep Habits Happy Child. I didn't realize when to encourage sleep at this age. I let my baby get overtired and it was terrible. A couple months of coloic like behavior before I realized. At this age the baby should not be up more than a two hour stretch. The book will guide you and help you understand the baby's sleep needs. Skip the cry it out part, just yuse the schedule suggestions for this age.

I realize that the last six weeks may have seemed more like six years,but, really, the baby is just too little to expect him to sleep on any kind of schedule or to even sleep much at all. At this stage you basically have to take what you get....some babies sleep a lot and some sleep according to the textbooks and some don't sleep much at all. I know...my first sounds just like your son. The second one slept so much the first several weeks that I actually called the doctor to see if it was normal. The doctor said "this is what's known as having an easy baby."
Oh. Anyway, I know this is not good news. The way to survive is to do whatever you and your husband have to do to get some sleep. If you can swing babysitting then absolutely do it. Hire some one to hold that baby while at least one of you gets some sleep. If that is not an option,play trade off with your husband. If one of you is up the other should be down. Trade naps on the weekends. Get some kind of loud white noise to block out sound so you can nap. Sleep in separate bedrooms....whatever it takes to get some sleep.
Then, experiment with different things to get the baby to sleep. Try the baby swing, try sleeping with the baby in bed with you (only if you can sleep too!), try the pacifer, I even propped a bottle in the kid's mouth and altho they say never do this, it worked sometimes and I stayed relatively sane.
Just know that this will end. One magical day he'll just start sleeping more. I advise buying some books on sleep physiology and read up. When the baby is 3-4 months old its time to start thinking about a schedule, bedtime routines, the all-important transistional object etc.
My fussy sleeper was sleeping thru the night by 6 months (and a good portion of the night at 41/2 months). No permanent damage from the occasional bottle propping, or letting him cry at times. So far.
Good Luck! M. SAHM of 14,12 and 5 year olds

This is very normal for his age. the book "healthy sleep habits, happy baby" by Dr. Mark Weisblut is really good. First babies when so young are often like this. It takes time for them to get on a good schedule and they often wake themselves up by flailing around and then find it hard to get themselves back to sleep. Swaddling helps. Also, the Amby bed can be fabulous. It is JPMA certified and recommended by Dr. Sears. It is like a hammock and so when baby wakes, it rocks and so they fall back to sleep. My little one did great in it. Some children also sleep well in their car seats. It is something about it being cozy - more womblike. During the day, baby should be up for more than 90 mins to 2 hours at a time. The moment you sense he is tired, get him to sleep (nurse him, rock him, whatever works). The more sleep he gets, the better he sleeps at night (sleep begets sleep). Try not to let him get overtired as then it is much harder for him to get to sleep. I was a first time parent and clueless initially. I kept my sweetie up too long and at around 6-8 weeks when "colic" ie unexplained crying maxs out, we had several melt downs. Then I read the book and life was so much better. Good luck.