Baby Number 2 - Need Some Reassurance

you will be amazed at the ammounts of love that you will have!! I thought the same thing, worried that I would have a "favorite". But now, I have a 2 1/2 year old and twins that will be 1 year old on Thanksgiving day. I couldnt love them more, and I love them all the same. They are ALL my favorites!

and that is not an "irrational" fear. it is one that many many of us have had. it just shows how much love you really have!

You love them the same but different - if that makes sense. My first born was my angel child and I swore I'd never have a second - but after 4 years I thought I'd like just one more and we had a second. I loved her from the get-go but it's a different way - I guess. It's kinda hard to explain - I think it's different with the first because you are so learning together - with the second there is learning but all the "basics" have already been mastered. IDK - when I look at my two kids I'm over run by love - you'll see it's just fine...

It's not irrational; I also worried about the same thing when we started trying for #2. I know it's hard to picture now, but your little guy is going to one day in the near future not be able to picture your family without his little brother or sister. And the same will go for you and your husband. The baby will bring his or her own wonderful and funny traits and be their own little person, just a beautiful extension of your already perfect, soon to be even more perfect family.

And in my opinion, you are giving him the best gift in the world - a sibling.

Your fear is so normal! I felt the same way and I just have to tell you, when my second baby came, I felt the same joy and love that I felt the first time. What is even better is now they love each other, and it's the greatest feeling in the world to see your babies playing and loving one one another. :) I promise you are normal for feeling this way, and I promise your heart will grow to include love for your second. :)

Yes, Yes and Yes! You have tons of love to go around! You will find special ways to bond with each kid. With my son I have our sarcastic sense of humor, with my daughter I have our love of animals and thrift shopping!!!! They only thing cuter than your child is two of them!!! and the way they interact, the way they are best friends and worst enemies (at least mine are :) Don't worry - after sometime, you'll wonder how you ever felt complete without #2 (or 3, or 4)

Two kids is SOOOO much fun!! NOTHING will fill your heart with more joy than watching the two of them interact and love on each other. We just had #3, and the love between all of us just keeps growing. Families are awesome! :)

I have 7 children and each one of our children has brought a special something to the house. I don't think that I ever had this worry when we went from one to 2 kids, but I think that the first time that you lays your eyes on that new bundle, you know that you love them. Your love isn't the same as with your first born, but you don't love them any less. You will find things that make the new baby special and different from your first. I know that there won't be any lack of love. Good luck in trying and when the baby arrives.
J.--SAHM of 7

I am a mother of 5 with my 6th due any day... believe me there is always enough love to share. Not only from dad and I to my kids but also my kids to the other kids and the kids to us. Each of them are completely different and I love them all for those differences. We share lots of hugs, cuddles and kisses & do lots of stuff (play, park walks, bird watching, gardening) as a family.

Just try to be understanding when the baby comes & still give your son some alone time with both mom & dad. I try to watch a movie with or read to my kids when I nurse, that way I am still doing something with them as well. We are going to have the kids come to the hospital to do homework with me - since mommy always does homework with them.

As long as your kids are made with love - you will always have love to share with them!

I felt the same way when i was having my second baby. I have 3 now. And believe me, you will love the new one just as much as the first. And you will be so surprised at how that happens, but it is just automatic. I know it is hard to imagine, but its true. You will love them abundantly and equally from day 1. Its hard to explain, i guess its just a mother thing. So dont even worry about it. Wait til your baby is born and you will say "i cant imagine how i thought i couldnt love anyone as much as the first". And when i was pregnant with my 3rd i wondered if i'd love her as much as the other 2, and sure enough, i love her just as much. Its incredible. Good luck to you.

I have 3 kids and there is more than enough love to go around. They all get enough one on one time. I even have enough time to love on my 4 cats and even my husband gets some too.
I could not imagine life without my 3 babies!!!
My first was so high needs that I wondered how I would ever do it with more but it's all worked out.

Hi there!! I have 4 girls, and when I was going from 1 to 2 oh my i was a wreck!!! I remember tucking her in and then going to my husband and i would just cry and cry in his arms because I felt so guilty that she was going to have to share me. Then DD2 came along and a good friend of mines (with 5 kids) gave me the best piece of advice ever, she told me " You have to give your oldest all of your attention right now, the baby, well all she needs is to eat and rest, your oldest well she's the one who really needs the attention right now because she is the one feeling all the changes around her, the baby will be fine, the older child is the one you have to focus on" and I did just that and I think things worked out great. I did the same with as i had my other 2 daughters and each time it seemed to work. Trust me when I tell you, that in a good mother's heart there is ALWAYS enough love to love all her children the same :) good luck to you!!

Normal fear. I remember having the same fear when I became pregnant with our second child. At the time my daughter was about 16 months when I found out I was pregnant again. I wanted our second child, although we never did actually "try" for a baby, we were one of those crazy couples who said "If it happens it happens" and let it be at that. Well it happened! I remember hugging my daughter and worrying that I might feel differently about my second child or that my feelings for my daughter might change. Neither of which were true. I love both of my children, but I love them both differently, part of that might be because my second child is a boy. I love them so much if I think about it, it starts to boggle my mind.
You will have more than enough love for both of your children. You may feel amazed how you will feel about each child. Both will hold special places in your heart, granted it may not be the same place, but it will be in equal parts.

I had a similar experience, but my first two are 11 mos apart! When I found out I was pregnant I thought "How could I possibly love another child like I love this one? Do I have to split my love in half?" We have 5 kids ages 22 to 10. Everything works out. They are all different. I keep thinking to myself, 'How can they be so different? They were all raised by the same parents!" I love my family and you will love yours, no matter how big or how small it is!

I remember wondering the same thing, but it's true that love just multiplied when I later had 2 more children. What doesn't multiply is your time and energy to care for each one. Taking care of 2 children under age 2 can be very challenging. I highly encourage you to wait until your little one is 18 months to start trying for another child. Current research suggest that a space of 18 months -4 years between birth of last and conception of next will give your body the best chance for a healthy pregnancy and birth. A good article to read is at :http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/family-planning/MY01691. There's also some recent research indicating closely spacing your children may increase the risk of autism in subsequent born children. Your body needs time to heal and restore it's nutritional status after pregnancy and birth and it usually takes longer than we think.
My first 2 kids are 3 yrs apart and I found that to be really enjoyable. I had a 3rd child (BC failed us) 20 months after my 2nd and that was SO VERY HARD. I had 2 kids get up with at night (thankfully my husband usually got up with my toddler since I was breastfeeding the baby), 2 sets of diapers, 2 kids to hold and rock when they were sick or hurt, etc. I am not trying to discourage you from having another child for I LOVE my children. I'm just encouraging you to wait so the next stage of parenting 2 kids can be more enjoyable and less frustrating. Congrats and best wishes on growing your family. Nurse Midwife Mom of 3

First, be sure you are ready--we decided we were going to start trying and got pregnant immediately (at 37!). Had I known I would have waited a few more months.
No doubt you will love the new baby (the hormones help). Actually I had more trouble making sure my older one got enough mommy time. It may take a little while to find the right balance but it will come.

I remember crying right before my baby #3 was going to be born. I was looking at my twins and thinking that this decision will drastically change their life, too. But, the moment my daughter was born, we all fell in love. She is the perfect addition to our family and I can't imagine life without her!

I had the same fear when my husband and I were considering a second baby and again once I had gotten pregnant. I had these feelings up until my little one was born and the minute I heard that I had another daughter and they put her in my arms I fell in love! I felt awful feeling that way while pregnant and only shared those concerns with my husband, own mom, mil and a few close friends but they all assured me that I was wrong - and they were all right!

Good luck to you =)

So completely normal! When I talked to my dad about this (father of four), he said, "You will be amazed. You cannot imagine that it is possible, but when you see that little baby, your heart is filled with love all over again!" Did you ever think that you could share the love that you give to your husband with someone else? You did, when you had baby#1! It is a different kind of love but it still comes from the heart. Don't worry about it. It will be such a great joy! And wait until you see your older one sharing the love too...it will melt your heart! Be sure and tell your older one from the get-go how important he is in your family and how great it will be to have a sibling. I used to tell mine that he will have a best friend for life. At ages 4 and 6, they are best buds. God bless.

Quite simply ...love multiplies, not divides :)