Bad Mommy!!

First off...NO YOU ARE NOT A BAD MOMMY! Patterns aren't set until 4 months.

Pick him up and cuddle him as much as you want. You can NOT spoil a baby. Anyone who tells you different is full of it!

He is only 7 weeks old! Hold him and snuggle him when he cries. He needs and wants you. If he isn't going to bed in his crib, it's because he wants to be next to you. Also, my daughter didn't sleep through the night until 8 months old! She still woke up 1 -2 times a night until then. So, yes, even though he should be sleeping more, still plan on waking to feed him. Also, my daughter struggled with sleep at first and we didn't know it at the time but it was due to acid reflux. Changing formula's helped the sleeping. I hope you both get some sleep some but remember, you have until at least 6 months old before (I think) you should let him cry.

You are most definitely not a bad mommy and he is way too little to be sleep trained. Right now just love him and hold him and enjoy it because soon you will be in my shoes -- with a 21-year-old and 12-year-old -- and you'll wonder where the time went. My older daughter always had trouble sleeping but my younger slept like a pro from the start. It's not so much what you do right now. Babies are wired to be who they are. Hold him as much as you can right now. And know that you are a good mommy!!!!

You are NOT a bad mommy nor a bad parent!!

At 7 weeks of age, your son is too young for sleep training. You are NOT doing anything wrong!! He should not be crying-it-out yet. Until your son is at least 12 weeks old from the original gestational date of 40 weeks (no matter when he was actually born), you are doing the right thing by going to him. You are not spoiling him or creating bad habits. I promise you.

I realize there is one particular sleep training method that says it can be used from the day you bring your infant home. However, so much science and research indicates that training is ill-advised for an infant younger than 12 weeks old. Newborns need their first 3 months for critical physiological development. That's why the first 12 weeks are sometimes called "the 4th trimester."

Keep doing what you are doing until he is older. In the meantime, get a hold of "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Marc Weissbluth, MD. This book will explain your baby's physiological needs in a very understandable way. It will help you set a healthy expectation for you and your baby -- and help get you on a healthy, happy routine that both of you enjoy.

Hang in there! Your instinct has been correct!

I highly recommend The Baby Whisperer Solves all Your Problems. Also, he is too young to cry it out. I strongly urge you not to do this. Good luck!

My youngest just turned 6 mos. I can't believe how fast the weeks and months have gone. I would say at 7 weeks, pick him up, hold and snuggle him. At 6 mos. mine is starting to become mobile and would rather be practicing rolling and getting on his hands and knees to crawl than being cuddled by mama all day. You are not a bad mommy. At 7 weeks they need their crys to be answered. they don't have words to tell you things like I'm tired, hungry, bored, lonly, etc.. When you answer their crys at that age it teaches them comfort and security. My baby is a wonderful sleeper. I can put him down and if he wakes up he will fall back to sleep on his own many times. My son that is older than him was not such a good sleeper and I would be up with him at least once a night until he was over 1 year old. At that point I ended up using cry it out,but your baby is too young to understand cry it out at this point. I would try unsing a swing. My babies have all LOVED their swing and would sometimes sleep in that better than a bed or bassinet. Remeber, just 7 weeks ago they were living in a small confined warm space. The bed/bassinet probably feels very big. A swing or bouncy chair is a smaller and more confined space and may make him feel more secure. Try swaddling your baby and see if that helps. My 2 oldest hated it and it never worked, but my youngest absolutly loved it!

You are not a bad mommy, and I believe in crying it out, but 7 weeks is way too young! Do your research on what crying it out at that age can lead to:(

7 weeks is really early to expect him to sleep for long stretches. And while you think it may be comfort feeding, he may really need to eat that much because he is growing so much.

Read the weisbluth book. and don't start any sleep training methods until 5 months!

In my opinion, he is too young for you to be beating yourself up about his sleep patterns. Pick a sleep philosophy you can work with and get the book. Start 'sleep training' when suggested by that book. My cousin used/followed Dr. Weisbluth's 'Healthy sleep habits,happy child' with her 3 kids and I used it with my DS. I don't think there is one right way for everyone, you need to find the method that works for you and your son. Most of what I have read and my pedi recommend not to start sleep training until about 4 months. Good luck!

Right now do whatever works to get him and you your sleep! Until around 12 weeks. My babies always responded to a tight swaddle and rocking.

I agree sleep issues are important. To start thinking about schedules and bedtime routines check out some books. I like Weisbluth. Learn about sleep cycles.

Everything that is happening now sounds totally normal. Enjoy your baby and do whatever you need to do to make this special time pleasurable for you and the baby.

You are not a bad mom! But a 7 week old is a bit young to let "cry it out" to sleep. General guideline is 3-4 mo. Old at earliest. So until your baby is a bit older, you have to do what it takes and be responsive. Babies at this age often do require a lot of soothing, but it will improve!! Do you have support at home (spouse, partner or other assistance?!) as you sound like you could use some breaks.
Then, I recommend you check out some pediatric sleep information, such as Weissbluth's "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" so you can understand wher your child is developmentally and how to meet his sleep/soothing needs. Another great "quickie" resource I've recently discovered is the sleep chapter of the book "baby 411" by Fields & Brown. Sort of summarizes the info of a few different approaches in an easy to read format.
Good luck!

Please try to remember that weeks 6-9 is the period of peak fussiness and certain times of day may be worse for your little one. For my now 9 mos old, it was between 10-11 am and 5-8 pm. Putting him in a sling during the morning session put him out like a light. In the evening, I probably bounced about 10lbs off of myself.

As everyone else has already said, you are not a bad mommy; at this age the babies wants ARE his NEEDS. Remember also, that some babies need the 4th trimester of intense closeness to mama. A sling is great to comfort this type of baby.

First of all, you are not a bad mommy!! Second of all, seven weeks is still young and it is okay to give into his needs and cries!! Also, all children are different. I nursed/rocked my daughter to sleep every night and still sit in her room nightly (she's 2 years 4 months) but my son would prefer to be put down in his bed (either asleep or drowsy) and he'll get comfortable and fall asleep (he's 4 months).

I would rock him until he's asleep then put him down. If he wakes, rub his back or give him his binky. Try this for a few minutes. Walk out of the room, etc. If that still does not work, I suggest picking him back up. He may be gassy or needing more nurturing. I do not think 7 weeks is old enough to allow him to cry it out (but then again I'm no advocate of CIO).

As far as comfort feeding, I assume you are breastfeeding? Maybe you are not producing enough milk and that is why it's taking a few hours to get him down? I have a co sleeper in our room and plan on keeping my son in it until he drops his middle of hte night feedings. My daughter did this by his age, but he's still up 1-3 times a night eating (probably not always hungry but wants nurturing) so I'll just feed him laying down and often we fall asleep together thne I will put him back into his bed. More often than not, he'll cry so I'll put him back on the boob.I think he just likes to be close, and I don't mind!

HE IS ONLY 7 WEEKS OLD!!!!! He does not know how to manipulate you yet. Don't let him cry it out. You can try the cry it out method when he is about 6 months. Give him what he needs now.

You are not a bad mother. At seven weeks he is doing just what he should be doing. Remember he has only been outside your womb for seven weeks. Talk about adjustements. Hold him, comfort him and console him to what he needs. I was a professional nanny for twenty years, seven weeks is WAY to early for a schedule. Starting a schedule usually starts around 3-4 months. Naturally, your child will set a schedule that you will know, he will start a pattern. You can not spoil a baby. To be spoil, you have to know the difference, and that will not happen for a long time. I been a nanny for five babies and my own son and I can tell you that holding them and comforting them and not getting them on a sleep schedule until three months or even eight months, they turn out fine. Eventually your son will get to the stage of sleeping in his own bed, or going down awake. If it really bothers you start putting him in when he is wide awake and not ready for bed and talk to him and play with him so he is familiar with his crib. Do it when you need to put clothes away or go to the bathroom. Let him look and explore. Soon before you know it he will be sleeping through the night, and not crying. Hang in there!

K.

Your baby is too small to be trained to do anything. Never in a millions years would I let my newborn cry it out. If you do something like that, it should be for babies that are closer to 9 months.

2 of my 3 babies were great sleepers, going to bed while awake, and sleeping at good intervals. My other child was more high maintenance and required much more work to put to bed.

I picked up my babies whenever they wanted me. This taught them to feel secure, and they never panicked. They woke up content and learned to be patient waiting for me. They knew I would be right there. I think making a crying baby cry just makes them cry more.

Just know that each baby is different, your next one may be just the opposite. But your baby is too young to even determine what kind of sleeper he is.

As the others have said, enjoy these precious months, they will be gone all too soon. As I'm dealing with homework and impending puberty, I would love to be in the rocking chair at 3am. I haven't had a good nights sleep in 15 years, and I wouldn't change that for the world.

7 weeks is so young! They do not have the physical ability to self-sooth until around 3-4 months. So relax, enjoy your little one while he is little!

I agree 100% with the other mommies that have responded! At 7 weeks, your little guy doesn't have habits yet, good or bad. Babies don't start to learn habits until 2 months, so anything you have done until now has been forgotten by him. The best thing you can do for yourself right now is give yourself a break. You are both new at this and are learning what works and what doesn't. Anything you can do to get him to sleep is OK right now. Swaddle him, rock him, shush him, put him in the car and go for a drive, put him in a swing or bouncy that vibrates, give him a warm bath at night, but don't let him cry it out. I have never let my little guy cry it out and now at 5 months I can put him to bed wide awake and he's fast asleep within 10 minutes! It gets easier. As for the feeding, he is doing a TON of growing right now. He is going through his first big growth spurt and once he is done, the feedings will get shorter.
Good luck!

Please read Ferber and/or Brazelton. At seven weeks you are SUPPOSED to be giving in to every noise and sound and picking him up for comfort whenever he needs it. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. He is far, far too young for you to expect him to be sleeping through the night. Infants cannot maintain their blood sugar levels at this age and need more frequent feedings. Also, please note that a full night's sleep for an infant can be as little as five hours. Sleep training does not usually begin until six months, when a child's neurological development is at the point where self-soothing becomes possible. My own boys (twins) started sleeping 5-6 hours a night when they were about 4 months old, so you don't always need to do the crying it out thing. It all depends on the baby.

Do what you feel in your heart is right. Letting a young baby like that cry it out seemscruel.Give him some time to get into his rhythm. I know you want some rest too but things will change.I remember those times with my sons they are now 15 and 18 and all they do is sleep!
Good luck to you

Get the book On Becoming Babywise. It is a balanced technique of schedule and Mommy instinct, getting baby on a 3 hour (approx) schedule of eating, awake time and nap, helping you recognize when he is tired and setting him down before he is too tired and crying (he stops looking at you, rubs eyes, yawns, etc).

It's a short read and makes a world of difference. My babies were sleeping through the night before 3 months with this book, good sleep will bless you AND him, he'll be a happier baby.

I believe Dana D. said it best. And you just keep loving your baby. I will say it over and over. The time passes and I wish for it back. And I did the same thing. So do not feel bad.

You are still in sleep deprivation mode. Do not panic. There is no such thing as spoiling any child under the age of 6 months. They need to be held and cuddled. It reassures them and comforts them. Get a baby sling and wear your baby as much as possible. He's growing and suckling increases your milk supply and his bond with you, and his stomach at this age is only the size of a walnut. Some of them feed every every few hours. I know it can leave you feeling a bit touched out by the end of a day. You get use to it, and eventually will miss it once they are more independent. It takes time to build Mommy confidence. It happens in it's own time. There is no set schedule and everyone is different. Nap when the baby naps. Accept help when it's offered. No one comes to visit without bringing a casserole. You will be fine!

You aren't a bad mommy! 7 weeks is a little early to expect him to be able to sleep on his own. So, rock him, shush him, swaddle him tightly and he will learn eventually...but it takes time.

try increasing the amount of food he takes in before you put him down for the night. Or feed him right before.

Comfort feeding might be from reflux and you can try elevating his bed by placing a towel under the mattress (not under him) and see if letting him sleep on an incline helps.

My youngest is 7 weeks right now too, and that is still really young. Most babies still wake up frequently or have difficulty falling asleep on their own and that is okay. It is really too early to start a sleep schedule. Right now your baby just needs to know that you are there and responding to his cries promptly is how to do that. Letting him cry it out really won't work right now, again because he is so young. He is crying because he needs something and you are not a bad mommy for taking care of him. As for comfort feeding, will he take a pacifier? I wasn't a big fan of them before, and my first never took one, but my baby now has a strong need to suck and the doctor told me to go ahead with the pacifier (which I only give her when she's not hungry but wants to suck--it's pretty obvious when that is the case). It has really helped. She's not nursing all the time now and will go to sleep more easily. Congrats on your baby and I hope you find something that works for you.

The nurse that taught the new parent class I attended said that we could do "sleep training" at 10 weeks, so up until then, I responded to every cry, too. At 10 weeks, we did the sleep training method that the nurse taught, which was to put the baby to bed awake, leave room, and let them cry for 5 minutes, (which seems like a really long time), and then go in and comfort them. Lay them back down awake, and leave the room. This time, let them cry for 7-8 minutes before going in. Do this, but keep increasing the length of time for letting them cry. For us, the most we had to listen to the crying was 18 minutes, but it was really hard. However, when they wake up in the middle of the night, you can feed them, and rock them back to sleep - don't do the cry method for the nightly wakenings. The other hard part about the cry method is that it takes about 2 weeks, but you have to do it every night. I will say that it will probably be very hard for you because you sound a lot like me, and I was lucky to have a husband who was totally on board with doing the sleep training and was the stronger one, so I actually made him do most of it.

My daughter is 12 weeks, and we went through this same thing with her. We didn't do the cry-it-out thing with my son, either, but there's a couple of tricks I used that worked. First, get a good swaddler, like a Halo sleep sack. Also I used a sleep positioner, not so much to keep her from rolling, but to make her feel like she's being held. The thing that really seemed to work was laying her down on a t-shirt that I'd just taken off. Like the other posters said, 7 weeks is really little, and while it seems like you're setting his habits for life right now, you're really not. Comfort nurse him all he wants. It's a rough journey for them just to be born, and once he becomes more aware of the world around him, he'll be a little less dependent on that. Both my babies have outgrown that, and are champion sleepers. Hang in there, mama!

Darlin', you need to take it easy on yourself and your little guy. You are both still recovering from birth and he is wondering where his warm, dark uterus is. At 7 weeks, he should be comfort feeding, that is really his only comfort resource. He should also want to be held ALL the time. It's frustrating, exhausting and seems neverending, but one day his switch will "flip" and he will be albe to do some of these basic survival things on his own.
Go with your instincts, and get "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Harvey Karp. His recommendations saved me hours of tears- even with a colicky, acid reflux baby.
Keep cuddling him and get some rest whenever you can. PLEASE do not call yourself a bad mama - you are a great mama who loves her baby and needs some advice!

J.,

At 7 weeks old, your baby really shouldn't know how to put himself to sleep just yet. I would not let him cry it out this young. If you choose to use this method, you shouldn't do it before six months of age. By meeting his every need you are helping to build his trust, confidence, and self-esteem. Before he is able to cry himself to sleep, he needs to have that foundation that you are there for him and that his needs are met.

As for more sleep at night, every baby is different. Some babies start sleeping through the night early (which, by the way, doctors consider sleeping through the night to be six hours in a row). Other babies don't sleep through until six months or later.

For right now, as exhausting as it is, keep giving your baby what he needs. He is too young to be "spoiled" yet, and you don't need the stress of wondering if you're doing a good job, because you are!

A 7 week old baby should not be crying it out. Babies cannot self-soothe until 4-6 months. Any sleep book you read or your doc will tell u this. It's a tough time. Those first 6 months are really hard and you can expect to be exhausted. I'd suggest reading Weissbluths Healthy Sleep Habits, Healthy Baby. We had incredible success with this book with our daughter, and she's an awesome sleeper. But at 7 weeks, you need to soothe any way that works. We had a crib vibrator that worked wonders. Good luck!

First of all your are not a bad mommy!! At 7 weeks old he probably is in need of your warmth and comfort. I always picked up my kids (babies) when they cried for something, like diaper change, feeding or just cuddling. I could see if he/she was 7-9 months old and still can't be put down without crying a little bit. Don't be down on yourself. If he still cries, maybe someone else can help in taking him while you can nap or doing something. I say pick him up and cuddle and sooth him. When he stops doing it when he gets older you will miss those moments. Good luck with your little guy!

OK, you are not bad if you go to him, and your newborn is totally normal. Even most of the sleep-training experts say that it's good to wait until 4 months of age to get kids on a schedule. If you are nursing, he still needs at least 1-2 overnight feedings to keep up your milk supply for at least another few weeks. He's a newborn! He's not comfort feeding, he needs that overnight feeding and so does your body.

Honestly, if you did not pick up a newborn I would think you were a bad mommy. "You can't spoil a newborn" is one of the truest things I know about being a new parent. Give it another few weeks, and in the meanwhile pick up a copy of one of the sleep guru books (weissbluth or ferber). Hang in there, and congratulations on your new little one! If this is the worst problem you have so far, you are doing awesome!

I agree with all the other Mama's! You are not a bad Mama!!!!!! One thing I remember from my children is those "comfort feedings" may very well be him calorie loading. I BF all my children - 3 biological and adopted twins - they all at about 6 weeks started to BF from about 4 or 5 PM until I laid them down for "bed". I felt like they were attached to me for forever. My wise sister-in-law was the one who told me with my first baby what they were doing. Your baby is REALLY smart and knows what he needs to do! Trust yourself and him and your bodies! You are so in tune to each other that your breast milk has exactly what he needs each and EVERY day! Be kind to yourself and him - enjoy these precious days. They go by very quickly! You are a good mama - tell yourself that and read these posts when you start to doubt that! I wish you success in the New Year!!

You are supposed to be picking them up at 7 weeks! I answered my kids every time until 6mo or more. They are all sleeping in their own beds upstairs! No worries

He's a little young to be concerned with this. I also have a 7 week old. O
Our solution was to buy a nice Lazyboy recliner/rocker so that we were comfortable if we fall asleep for a few hours after consoling him. To stop the crying and get ours calmed down, I turn on my hair dryer. It definitely helps him relax so he can fall asleep. Since getting the Lazyboy a couple weeks ago, neither my husband or I have been sleep deprived. I spent $600 on our chair at the Lazyboy store and it's worth every penny.
Costco in Lake in the Hills has one right now for $400 that is very comfortable. If you can afford either, it will do wonders for your own sleeping needs.
You can't spoil an infant and sleep training doesn't need to start until he's a bit older. Ask your pediatrician.
Good luck

You are soooo not a bad mommy! Try "The Sleepeasy Solution" it was a great resource for us.

Too many responses to read, but here's my two cents. You're so NOT a bad mommy, just one to this tiny new baby that you're getting to know. No need to let him cry it out right now. I know it's hard. I used the swing, bouncy seat, vibrating papason for my daughter to help her fall asleep on her own without being in my arms. It worked a good portion of the time. I would either pick her up and bring her to the bassinette next to me in the bedroom, or I would leave her in the swing, etc. and bring it to the room to sleep on the floor next to my side of the bed. Either way it seemed to work well enough.

My daughter didn't sleep for anything the first four months of her life. And the best advice anyone ever gave me was to just not fight it. Whether it be at midnight, 2AM or 4AM, if baby isn't going back to sleep just get up and flip on the tube. Amazing how not putting that stress on myself and the baby definitely helped. Good luck and try to just take it easy on yourself.